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Rebecca Cerese

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REBECCA'S RANT
Hey All! I'm back after battling an illness last week, and still this week actually. Enough of the congestion has actually left my brain to put together a few coherent thoughts...well that's my hope anyway...but if I just sound like I'm babbling you'll know the reason why...So obviously there is a ton to talk about with the shocking revelation of Rikishi being the driver who hit Stone Cold, the emergence of the new strange golden masked tag team who are stalking the Hardys, Eddy in the shower with the two cheap ass hoes...and my favorite moment of the night...Benoit pinning HHH.

First things first...I want to say Congrats to the New F'n Show Jerry Lynn for his Championship win!!! I was so ecstatic to see Jerry walk away with the belt 2 Sundays ago at Anarchy Rulz... I was literally jumping up and down....In a way I wish it had been a better match, but something seemed to be missing from it, but I am not one to dwell on the negative so I just want to concentrate on the outcome...the belt is finally off of Justin Credible and on a man that thoroughly deserves to be champ. The thing that is great about ECW is that a wrestler can still win the belt based on his wrestling ability and not only on how over he is, or how good his character is. I must say I am super excited about the possibility of RVD vs. Jerry somewhere down the line for the title...with the roles totally reversed, Jerry is the champ and RVD is chasing after him!!! Whoo hoo...and before that a Corino/Lynn rivalry should be pretty good too, if their past contests are any indication ie. "die" written in blood by an incensed Jerry Lynn's on Corino's chest...one of my all time favorite moments.

Other Anarchy rulz thoughts:

Kid Kash vs. EZ money was easily the match of the night. Kid Kash is simply spectacular! As my good friend Joe recently wrote me in an email "I think Kid Kash has a really lame gimmick but he may be the most talented guy going today. Every time I watch him I'm left saying wow." Couldn't agree more Joe!

Please god, don't ever let Joel Gertner take off his shirt again...I swear if any woman is feeling too hormonal all she needs to do is look at Joel shirtless and suddenly your sex drive will be in reverse. YUCK!!!! Sharon you have now officially lost your right to say anything to me about any of the strange men I find attractive...

Ok, since there is so much more to talk about I will end there in terms of ECW and go on to what everyone and their mother seems to be talking about today...the revelation that that Big Assed fun loving Super Baby Face Rikishi is the one who ran over Stone Cold. I have read every reaction under that sun so far...some people loved it, some people hated it, one guy on Wrestleline actually thinks that Mick has paid Rikishi off to cover for someone else, and that he's not the driver at all (I kind of like this idea a lot). So of course I have to put my two sense worth in as well...

Ok, so I am going to look at this situation in a couple of different ways and then give my all around impression.

    1. Surprise Element: not until Mick was out there talking to the Rock during the Main Event with Rikishi looming largely in the corner did it even occur to me that he was the one who could have hit Stone Cold. Hell, he has blonde hair, but it didn't even enter my mind once that it could have been him. So in terms of swerve the WWF get an A. I did not see it coming and when it came out at the end that he was the guilty part, I was shocked.

    Ok, shocked, but not necessarily pleased, in fact I would say very UNPLEASED. My brother, who hates wrestling by the way, actually came into my room to find out who the driver was, and when he saw it was Rikishi he just got up and quickly left the room. When I told my friend Tom who it was, as he had not seen it live last night, his first reaction was "that's terrible." True, but then something happened next that changed my mind.

    2. Believability Element: Ok, so my first reaction was...How the hell are they going to explain this and how lame will the explanation be? At this point I found myself wishing it had actually been Vince (well, I never reached that level of desperation but still). Why couldn't it have been HBK...he looked so good, and wouldn't it have been cool to see a confrontation between the two Texans, but no it was this giant man, whose main move is to shove his ass in someone's face. That being said, I never for one minute expected him to start to talk about RACE, and the discrimination inherent in the sport of wrestling. I never expected him to talk about past wrestlers of color and how they were held down. I have to say, I was moved, and what's more I was sucked in. Rikishi delivered an explanation and he made me believe it...I was impressed. Believability: A, made even stronger by Rock's reactions. I swear for once I understood how they signed him to star in his own movie. His acting during this scene was great.

    So the WWF had me going. They turned me totally around, and I give them credit for that, but I have to say there is one major problem:

    3. Long term goal: So they swerved me, and then sucked me back in...but now what? I'm sorry but the idea of a Rikishi/Stone Cold rivalry leaves A LOT to be desired. I don't really understand the purpose of this? I mean are they really planning on putting Austin in the ring with a 400 lbs+ competitor in his first match back. I mean Austin couldn't do much before the surgery, now he's supposed to brawl with a huge man, who isn't exactly light on his feet and this is supposed to be entertaining. So very obviously, this is somehow going to lead back to Austin/Rock, probably headlining WM 2001. Can we say BORING people! I guess I am in the minority but I HAVE NO DESIRE TO EVER SEE THIS MATCHUP EVER AGAIN!!! Give me Jericho, give me Benoit, hell give me HHH even, but just shake things up again. Its so funny to me how WM is supposed to be the premiere event of the year, and every year it seems to pretty much SUCK...excluding the triangle ladder match from this year of course...anyway, I can already hear the hate mail coming in...Benoit sucks, he's boring and has no charisma and doesn't belong anywhere near the main event, well you can keep your emails to yourself, because I LOVE seeing Benoit wrestle and I personally think his character rules!!!

So overall, I would give the WWF a B- for this little escapade, with all the major points being deducted for where the hell are they going to go now.



But getting back to Benoit, can I tell you how much I loved the tag team match between Benoit/X-Puke and HHH/Jericho. As my super cool buddy Lewis said to me, not even Xpuke could have dragged this match down. And what's even better the crowd really seemed to LOATHE X-Pac. Did you hear the boos when he got into the match for the first time...WOW!! So the dynamics of this match were awesome. The heated emotion in Jericho's eyes when he looked at his own partner, HHH or either of his 2 opponents. He has a storied past with each of these men, and in fact has said numerous times in his commentaries that if he could wrestle HHH or Benoit every night he would be a happy man. So tonight he got to wrestle with HHH against Benoit. Good stuff. This match was super...highlights for me where when Jericho hits the vicious clothesline to break up the bronco buster, anytime Benoit and Jericho were in the ring together (of course) and Benoit getting the clean pin over HHH. HHH's and Benoit's reactions after the match were classic as well. I have to say I am looking forward to their one on one match up at NO Mercy, as HHH has a history of pulling himself up to the level of his opponents, and you can't get much better than Benoit. So I am very curious to see what they are going to deliver. Throw in the wild card of Stephanie, and it should be interesting. In my mind I have been formulating an idea of Stephanie turning on her husband to help Benoit win the title. That is something that no one even suspects. Of course it is all in my head, and maybe wishful thinking on my part. I mean we all know that Steph is going to turn on her husband sooner or later and everyone is suspecting it will be for Kurt, but I have a feeling the WWF might surprise us here...

And if HHH is once again single, maybe this will open the door for him and Chyna to get back together somewhere down the road. As now it seems obvious that she and Eddy are over after GTV made its triumphant return and showed Latino Heat steaming up the bathroom with Mandy and Victoria. Shame on you Eddy. I must say, I kind of liked Mr. Ass coming to her rescue...it was very gallant of him. Ok, I am a romantic, so sue me okay! I know Lewis is inwardly and outwardly groaning at the prospect of an Eddy/Mr. Ass rivalry but I sort of like the idea. I also can't wait for Chyna to clock Eddy!

Ok, so I have gone almost three whole pages without talking about my favorite brothers, or my favorite cocky blonde...so here goes.

Did anyone see Sunday Night Heat? After seeing what a great job the Hardys did on Heat it makes me wonder why on earth they don't let these guys do stuff like that more often. I'm sorry but Matt's little cocky condescending attitude is so damn sexy!!! And then of course we have the cocky blondes with their manager cards...man these two just get funnier and funnier. When Christian put the manager card on his head, I thought I was going to start crying. I really love this whole Christian and Edge don't get another shot at the titles while the Hardys are champs so they are doing everything in their power to get the Hardys to lose the titles. So good! Speaking of the Hardys, I love this rivalry with Lowdown. First off it is great to see D'Lo finally getting the push that he deserves. Also, I think the Hardy's and Lowdown's wrestling styles mesh very well together. They seem to really challenge each other. The crazy thing about RAW was Jeff Hardy pulling out flying head scissors and hurricaranas. I have long been thinking that Jeff should do those kind of moves more often...pull out some Kid Kash type spots. I mean those moves are impressive without be suicidal...well most of the time...well it seemed like he was listening to me. Jeff looked great out there, and I ain't just talking about the sheer shirt (which is Sharon's favorite) which he later, to my delight and Sharon's I'm sure, tore off...

Then suddenly out of nowhere, there are two masked wrestlers, clothed fully in gold out there, attacking the Hardys...could it be...the cocky blondes...I don't know they did say they had surfing lessons, but then again they do have an affinity for gold...so who knows. Thanks to Lewis for filling me in on the little history of the Conquistadors. You gotta give it to Christian and Edge they always seem to foray into the deep annals of WWF history to deliver new and utterly hilarious segments. I swear I was laughing so hard at this, esp. with JR and the King's reactions to their appearance....hilarious. Speaking of JR, I just have to give him a big Boo Hiss for totally mixing up Jeff and Matt throughout their match...ok, so I know that Jeff's hair is now sort of dark, but still, there is now way you can mix up these two brothers. But then again he was also having trouble telling the difference between Benoit and Jericho. I know they are both Canadian and they are both Chris, but come on JR...This is just a little pet peeve of mine. Especially since in the past it has led to some wrestlers getting a lot of credit and other being totally forgotten (cough...Matt...cough...Christian...)But still, I love this program, and I wonder how long till Conquistadors 2000 get a title shot against the Hardys. That would just reek of coolosity!!! (Hey Heather, I used our word!)

Ok, so here a few Random thoughts:

  • I know Jen is probably wondering if the brief comment at the beginning of this rant would be the only place I would mention her man...HBK's return to RAW. Of course not girl. The appearance of one of the sexiest men of all time HBK on RAW deserves more than one brief sentence. I thoroughly enjoyed this segment...I think...because quite honestly I was so busy salivating over that man's body in those jeans that I am having a hard time remembering what all was said...sorry, I am letting my hormones get the better of me here, but when confronted by that there is just no other alternative. I now find myself praying that Shawn makes more appearances, and he always wears clothes that fit him so ahem...closely.

  • When William Regal came back to the WWF I was weary. Yes, I had heard all the great things about his wrestling skill, but honestly I had never seen it...all I had ever seen was "the Man's Man" quite possibly one of the worst gimmicks of all time. Add to that the man was so messed up that it looked like he was in slow motion whenever he was in the ring, and obviously I had some trepidation as to how his latest stint in the WWF would work...well I have to say, I have now been converted. I haven't even really seen the man in the ring, but it doesn't matter as his commentating and mike work are just superb. Every time he gets on the mike he makes me laugh. When he called Trish a Busty Wench, I nearly bust a gut laughing...also who else could use words like ignoramus and malarkey and make it sound so cool. So I am a total convert...and I can't wait to see what he's got in the ring.

  • Speaking of the European title match...I thought it was an excellent match, which allowed Test to really show off his skills, which sometimes get hidden behind Trish's pushed up breasts...and of course Al Snow just rules...representing Grease indeed!!!

  • Why the hell did they have Raven take on Blackman in a non-hardcore match. This match served absolutely zero purpose except to make Raven look like a jobber. Yes, I am very biased when it comes to Raven, and I don't mind seeing him job, but it would be nice if I could say that something actually came from this match. First off, he didn't deliver a promo, second, he wasn't even going for the title. Raven has never been a technical master, so a hardcore match would have probably been a better route to go in this case. Then he jobs totally clean Blackman in a match that means nothing...what happened to his feud with the Dudleys? As a matter of fact, where were the Dudleys? I am still hoping that somehow they pull him out of this going nowhere angle and make it that he is the one who is tutoring Kane to talk well. They are really building up on this angle. JR even mentions it in his Ross Report this week, so obviously they plan on doing something with it. Who can it be...what about RAVEN?

  • I am really enjoying Tazz's commentating on Sunday Night Heat. The guy is a regular comedian. Also, I loved the little exchanges between him and Stephanie. MTV=More Tazz victims.

  • Speaking of Stephanie, she was a little vixen on Sunday Night Heat. Her coy answers and sexually charged statements made her little Q & A segments very enjoyable. When asked if she ever slept with Kurt Angle she answered, " No I never SLEPT with him, no..." wink, wink.

    Ok, one more thing, and I will go...I have been super impressed with Kane's ring work recently. The man looks to be in tremendous shape, and he looked like a total bad ass in the ring. The best part, he was beating the crap out of the Rock. Always a good thing in my book.

    Ok, that's all for me. Sorry I was so long winded as usual...I guess I had a lot to say after my week off. I am very curious to see what happens this week on Smackdown. Should be interesting. Thanks for reading.

    Rebecca
    [slash] wrestling

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