You are here /wrestling
/guests
/Cerese
Guest Columns

Rebecca Cerese

Main

BLAH

REBECCA'S RANT

Hey All! I am still riding high from my excellent adventure from last week, but I am starting to come down big time. I miss the excitement of running around, hanging with my buddies, who are now once again spread all over the country...well that is a slight exaggeration. Jen and Heather are still in the same state as me, but Sharon is way up the East Coast. Boo hoo...but I won't lament. After all, I was rewarded for staying up on Monday Night to watch RAW late night...my favorite wrestler, Christian PINNED THE FREAKIN ROCK!!! As my friend Lewis said to me "does that make him the WWF champion?"...don't I wish, but of course I am the biggest Christian mark on the planet. But before I get into the usual rants, I want to thank all the wonderful people who wrote to me and my wonderful friends to tell us how much they enjoyed our wrestling vacation column. Well I can tell you we enjoyed writing it and reliving one of the best times I have ever had in my life. But now back to real life, and back to the drudgery, but what are you going to do right? Right now I am at my mother's house...yes I am sad and don't have a computer at home, and I am lamenting the fact that OZ is not on, and the 8 episodes of the new season flew by. So I thought, why not sit down and write my thoughts, since I was to busy dealing with spread sheets all day to write my column...so here goes...

Onto the rants:

Where to begin...I know I will start off with something different...for Greg... I will start off talking about his favorite Federation, ECW. This week ECW finally crowned new tag team champs...its about f'n time...huh....Although I wish we could have seen more of some of the matches, for example...Jerry Lynn/Dreamer vs. Kid Kash/RVD. They did show us enough of that match to see my man Jerry Lynn pin RVD for the second time. So right off the bat I was happy. I think that Tajiri and Mikey are an excellent choice for the champions, but now I heard from Sharon that they drop the belts this week on TNN. Now I don't understand this at all. What is Paul Heyman thinking...its almost as bad as what the WWF is doing to Tazz, but hell nothing is that bad. I will wait and see if there is a grand wisdom in all of this madness before I pass judgement but I can't imagine being happy about the situation. I know what Paul E can do to make me happier...give Jerry Lynn the World title at Anarchy Rulz and get it off of Justin Credible.

Justin has not succeeded as the champion, he is tired and boring. Jerry Lynn on the other hand has proven that he always looks spectacular in the ring, even vs. lame-o people like "Beautiful Belvis Wiles" . Imagine how cool it would be to see RVD feuding with Jerry for the World Title, but this time RVD is chasing Jerry. The very thought of this has me salivating to say the least. I am really hoping for this. Anarchy Rulz is the first ECW PPV I ever saw, that was last year, and I loved it. So I am hoping for a repeat of the quality of that show this year, and what better way than to get the title off Justin. Oh yeah, one more thing would make it awesome too, get the belt off of Rhino also...just strip the network clean...hey wait a minute, by that time ECW won't even be on TNN anymore...what they hell are they going to do with this tired angle they have been feeding us for that last few months...what will happen to the Network team. If I were Paul E. I would put the TV title on someone who could actually wrestle, and didn't just make a name for themselves by piledriving people dangerously through tables onto concrete....I hate that move, and he is going to seriously cripple someone one of these days. So my hope is that he will put the belt on Tajiri, esp. if he is going to strip Tajiri of the tag team belts so quickly. Needless to say the next few months will be an interesting time to watch ECW. With the major changes coming it will be interesting to see what the "little promotion that could" will do next!

Ok, now onto my favorite federation the WWF. Every week I think that the HHH/Stephanie/Kurt story line cannot get more compelling, and every week the WWF does something that makes it even more exciting. At first I was like where the hell is Mick going with this whodunnit shit...it was getting old, and I was like everyone knows it was Kurt Angle anyway. But I should have known that the WWF wouldn't be that obvious (well they did have Vince turn out to be the higher power so you can't totally blame me for thinking they would take the easy way out). But now T & A's music hits...at first I was like what the hell is that and Test walks out. I have to admit I was marking out a little...I think the reason I was marking out was because the WWF actually went back in history and brought back something that has always been in the back of my mind, and brought it in when I least expected it. I consider myself to be a pretty smart cookie, but I certainly did not see that coming. The best part was when Test said, "your wife and paybacks have a lot in common...they're both a bitch!" I was loving it, I really was. So of course Test gets squashed by HHH as he should considering their places on the card, but it still did wonders for Test...to have actually taken a stand against the man that wronged him. Now maybe he can break free from the emasculated man left at the altar haze that his been tarnishing him since last November. Good for him...I always liked Test, and I am hoping that they are actually going to do something decent with him and Albert. Personally, I think they are actually pretty funny on the mike.

Ok, so I am going to jump ahead to the Main Event, but its my column so I can do what I want. I was going through Hardy withdrawal at this point, although I was very happy they were given the night off to nurse their injuries. At least I got to see them backstage closely watching the Tag Team Champions. With a decisive win over them in the six person tag match last week on Smackdown, they are one PPV away from becoming two time tag team champions. As much as I love Christian, I think the Hardys should be the champs. They have busted their asses, and they deserve it. The first time they won the belts they weren't even over at all. They needed Michael Hayes's help to win matches...they have sure come a long way since then, and I can't wait to see them walk away with the gold. I just wish they could have done it in front of their home town crowd...but not that would have been to obvious, so the WWF had to swerve us again...boo hiss...I guess that will just make it that much sweeter when they do win. I would like to put in a request for both Hardy brothers to pose with the belts similarly to the way Matt did last time they had them...all you Hardy boyz fans out there, you know what I am talking about....ok, so what does this have to do with the Main Event, nothing really, except they were watching, and I got to see them if only for a few seconds, and Jeff had his hair in pig tails I might add, and he looked totally cute. But I digress again...I was rolling my eyes, when I heard what the Main Event was...don't get me wrong, I was ecstatic that Christian and Edge were headlining RAW, even if it was a RAW that ended at 1am. But I saw a horrible ending to the match. I thought either C & E will job or there will be a bullshit DQ. Also the whole match they will just get their asses handed to them by both the Rock and the Undertaker and once again fail to do any real wrestling moves. Boy was I wrong!!! I first want to say that Undertaker looked really solid out there, more solid than I have seen him look in a long time. It is obvious he came out there and gave 110%. I dare Scott Keith to say anything bad about his performance in that match. First off he executed a couple of really sweet moves, and second and more importantly, he sold like crazy for Christian and Edge. I mean he really put them over. They looked like they were beating the crap out of the Undertaker...the American Bad Ass for god's sake. It was awesome. And how can I forget...the other great part was Kane on commentary. I have read some places that people thought he sucked. I thought he did a great job, plus I was marking out simply from the novelty of having Kane doing commentary with JR. It was a trip. Plus JR put him over as a scary bastard big time...Of course the camera angle that caught the double chair shot to the Rock clearly showed that there was no impact, but you know something, when Christian got the 1..2..3 on the biggest name in the biz today, I really didn't care. Congrats to Christian! And I must say, I can't wait to see the next in the series of battles between 2blondes and the Hardys.

So the WWF handled the Main Event beautifully, so why the hell are they screwing up so badly with Tazz? I will be the first to admit that although Mideon naked makes me kind of sick, its also pretty funny, esp. when Mick gets involved, but to have him come out as Tazz's partner just to have Lawler pin Tazz in under 5 seconds just seems like a giant waste. So I understand the end of his match at Summerslam, but then I thought, OK, now they are going to start pushing him as monster. But no, instead he continues to be humiliated on National TV each week. Where the hell are the WWF going with this. My only guess is that they are making it that he is going to be humiliated and abused and finally he is just going to snap...he will go crazy, and start destroying anyone in his path. But then again, this is how I thought they were going to push him at the beginning and that didn't pan out, so who knows what they are truly planning to do with him. I just hope he doesn't end up fighting Mark Henry in Ohio in a few weeks. One other thing about that match...what a waste of Jericho...the big entrance and then nothing...a cocky laugh as he is making fun of Tazz's misfortune...whatever...and now I hear that he jobs to someone...cleanly I might add on Smackdown, who he has not business jobbing too, and I am staring to wonder what the hell is going on with him too...I mean he goes from wrestling HHH and Benoit to teaming with Lawler and getting beaten by people who aren't fit to shine his shoes...WHATEVER!

So while they are destroying Tazz, they also seem to be restoring one of my favorite heels of all time, Eddy Guerrero. Now as much as I love Eddy and Chyna together, the idea of a heel Eddy as IC champ is too good to pass up. He "accidentally" pins Chyna while trying to check on her, and then gives an evil grin behind her back when she tell him he deserves the belt more. The truth is he does deserve the belt more!!! And I am ecstatic he is the champion. Now I just want to see some incredible matches where he will defend the belt to become a legitimate champion. Hey how about start him in a feud with Dean Malenko, maybe they can rustle up some of the magic from their ECW days...that would be cool.

I don't know why, but I kind of like Malenko taking Crash under his wing, now if only they could feud with anyone but the Big Bossman. Malenko needs someone who will help him get heat, not who will suck the heat out of the arena...plus Bossman just sucks in the ring...Arghh...again, I just don't understand where they are going with this.

To completely change the subject. I was sorry to hear that Steven Richards again got hurt...the poor guy. I knew he was injured at Smackdown. I saw how he landed on his knee. At least he is able to still come out and cut those wicked promos...but a feud with Val Venis and the Road Dogg isn't exactly compelling stuff here...my reaction when they kidnapped Val Venis...please hide him away somewhere where we will never hear from him again!

So looking to the future...unbelievably for the next PPV it looks like the most interesting match is not the world title match, but the HHH/Kurt match. The Main Event usually does not hold much interest for me because the Rock is usually involved, but I think that even the casual fan is looking more forward to the HHH/Kurt showdown than the Rock's title defense. The Rock really isn't in any kind of rivalry right now. The rivalry is really between the three men vying for the #1 contender spot...Benoit, Kane and the Undertaker. So I have heard rumors about a Fatal Fourway at Unforgiven, and I think that sounds like a great idea. I have also heard rumors that Raven is going to align himself with Kane and bring Kane to a championship. I cannot tell you how much I love this idea. I have started to go through Raven withdrawal. Luckily my friend Greg made me an ECW tape which has a lot of his stuff with Cactus. I think the WWF should do something like that between Raven and Kane. The Raven character was always good at getting people to follow him and serve him. He makes them think that he is their friend, that he is there for them, and then he uses them for his own good. Not that I want to see Kane get used again, but if it will lead him to a world title, that can't be bad. The way the WWF is pushing Kane, new outfit, tons of mike time, it seems that they are grooming him for a world title push...but I've felt that way before and then the next night they are jobbing him to the Big Bossman, so what do I know. I am hoping though...

On Smackdown we have an interview with Austin. The WWF are gearing up for the big network switch and they want to make sure that they take as many viewers as possible with them. Pulling out Austin is a good idea. I am curious as to what he is going to say, I am just weary about him getting back in the ring. If you can't do it you can't do it. I think Shawn Michaels is the perfect example. He doesn't want to come back as anything less than the Heart Break Kid, and I think Austin should look to that as an example.

Well, I was rather bitchy this week. I wonder why...maybe I am just pissed about being back at work. Anyway, thanks for reading as always, and keep those emails coming.

Rebecca
[slash] wrestling

Mail the Author

BLAH

Main

Design copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission