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Rebecca Cerese

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REBECCA'S RANTS

Hey All! Another week has passed, and now we are coming upon Fully Loaded, the latest PPV offering from the WWF. This show is surely loaded with interesting match ups, esp. the 3 Main Events, well let me amend that, two out of the three look like blockbusters, the other is far more questionable, but more on that later.

Without further adieu...onto the Rants.

So the WWF put on their final RAW before their next PPV, and although it came off as very uneven in my book, it did a great job heating up the already smoldering Rock/Benoit feud, and the very intense Jericho/HHH feud as well. In the undercard, the Hardys/Dudleyz match ended with some hold your breath moments on top of a ladder, and Lita taking a Jeff Hardy type bump through a table...insane. My thoughts always go to Lita and Trish's breast implants, and I believe it is only a matter of time till one of them comes up with only one breast. Needless to say I think we are in store for some sort of tables and ladders match at the PPV with the Hardys and T & A, and I could only venture to guess that they will throw the Dudleys in there as well since they don't really have a spot or a rivalry going on at the moment. So I fully expect a 3 team tag match to be signed. I fully believe if this happens, the Hardys will come out on top, at least I hope so. Over the last few weeks, my favorite brothers have been getting their asses handed to them on a silver platter. They have lost numerous time to T&A, Too Cool and DX. Although their match against DX on Smackdown was great, the outcome had me screaming in frustration as once again stupid DX pulled off the win. I guess if they keep force feeding up these wins, they fully expect that we will start believing JR's hype about them being the best Tag Team in the history of the WWF....One problem though, WE HAVE EYES! And anyone with eyes can see that these two guys flat out suck!!! In his Ross Report, JR once again runs down all the great tag teams in the WWF and gives them all major props. He doesn't mention Road Dogg and X-Puke and then says its because they have their own separate category....yeah the shitty as hell, used to be ok, now totally suck category. It still amazes me that Road Dogg will come out and do his little "If you ain't down with that" spiel. Please...but the sad thing is people still love to scream "Suck It". I don't understand. But these are the same people that just continue to blindly follow the Rock and believe he is the best wrestler in the world and the best champ. Lets look at the facts though. The guy sucks as the champ. He is boring. Yeah, he brings the belt to the ring, and he does his little poses, but you never get the sense that he loves and respects being the champ. Plus his millions of fans will cheer for him the same exact way whether he has gold or not, so take it off him and give it to someone else...someone who will bring prestige, and technical excellence to the belt...you guessed it I am talking about Benoit.

Ok, so my email buddy Steve Kinne wrote me and said that the WWF has to give Rock the victory at the PPV to give his championship run some legitimacy. He said it is too soon to have him lose the belt as he has only been the champ for one month. Plus he hasn't really defended the title at all during this month, so I guess Steve has a legit point. That doesn't make me any happier about the situation. He tends to look at things in the way it will be better for the company in the long run. I look at things as how I want them to be to make ME happy. In my opinion, one month is already to long for Rock to hold the title. I want him to drop to the Crippler this Sunday and end the "Rocky as Champ" era now. I have always loved the Underdog and the way the fans worship the Rock gets me sick. I would love to see them all devastated when the Rock is forced to tap out from the Crossface and then lose the belt, because lets face it "the Crossface rules". Ok, so I've bashed the Rock enough, so I will now say something nice about him. In my opinion, he is so much cooler when he is kicking ass and taking names. His destruction of Benoit on RAW was awesome...running in the dressing room, absolutely pasting Benoit with the chair...(damn that looked SO stiff) and then another equally as painful whack as he's staggering out in Shane's arms, then a brutal Rock bottom on limo....all very well executed, and very well sold...and of course we have to give Mr. Benoit credit for that. He took those chair shots like a damn champ...the man is crazy...

Ok, I have to bring up something that was brought to my attention by Mr. Todd Thomas...last week he pointed out to me that the WWF appeared to be doing some kind of subtle homosexual angle between Benoit and Shane McMahon...at the time I didn't pick up on it, but it does seem like things are a little bit strange. First of all it seems that every time JR talks about them he always says that supposedly they are "just friends"...what the hell is that supposed to mean? Then it does seem rather strange to me how physically involved Shane gets when trying to "protect" Benoit. I mean you didn't see him jumping into the action as much when he was Big Show's "friend". Plus I have to say that the way he was carrying Benoit to safety, and esp. the way he picked him up off the limo was very shall we say suggestive. Of course this could all be because I am reading way to many Slash fan fiction stories, but I wasn't the one who brought it up, Todd was. So maybe they are laying these subtleties in there. To what purpose I have no idea, but it is something that has been on my mind, so I decided to share it with you.

Ok, so I haven't ranted about Christian in a while, so here goes...what the hell is up with those glasses? But seriously folks, I think him and Edge are doing a superb job developing their characters. Their arguments with Mick, their new alignment with their fellow Canadian, Benoit and his "friend" Shane McMahon is cool as hell. Esp. because it is totally believable that 2 young Canadians would just absolutely worship the ground Benoit walks on, hell they are not alone there are they? Also I have to say the exchange between Christian and Buh Buh acting as Christian on Sunday Night Heat this week was hysterical. Did I detect a bit of a New Yawk accent on Buh Buh...I think so...and yes I was loving it big time. So all their mike time and stuff is great, as is their two chances in two weeks to main event the TV shows as part of 6 man tag matches with Benoit, but what isn't great is all of their losses, as well as the fact that they don't get a chance to ever wrestle. They are too busy playing the role of cowardly heels and getting their asses kicked. I know first I complain about Christian not getting any recognition and now I complain that he isn't getting the chance to showcase his ample talents but its true, its true. And this problem certainly won't be alleviated by their ongoing feud with the damn Acolytes. These guys are monsters and all they know how to do is brawl and give super stiff power moves. I really wonder how their title match will play out this Sunday. Certainly the Acolytes will not come out on top in this contest. Edge and Christian have to win and then start a rivalry with the Hardyz which will lead to Hardys capturing gold in Raleigh, NC at Summerslam.

Speaking of the Hardys...Where is this T&A/Hardyz feud going...all I know is this is definitely going to lead to Trish Stratus taking some monster bump as payback to what she did to Lita. I am hoping that the match at Fully Loaded becomes some kind of #1 contenders match...now that would be cool as hell.

Tazz is back!! I personally loved his promo on RAW...to bad is got zero crowd reaction. WWF fans are just not used to those kind of promos, and although I thought he did a great job, the crowd was just not into it. Enter Mick Foley to try and get him some heat, and puts him in a match against....AL SNOW. Now don't get me wrong...I like Al Snow and I think he always puts on great matches, but this is not exactly a heat generating kind of match up. I still wish that they would have put him in a rivalry with Perry Saturn, or as my friend Jen pointed out, if Bob Holly was healthy he would have been a good opponent. I mean everyone knows Al is the man who jobs to make people look good. What Tazz needs is a win over a guy who no one expects him to win over....hey how about put him in there against X-Puke and have X-Puke job to him hahahahahahahah....like that would ever happen.

Where are DX in this PPV come to think of it though? They don't yet have a match, maybe they will get thrown into a match with Too Cool who don't have a match either. Of course DX already picked up the clean win against them on RAW. I actually watched this match with some interest because I was dying to see if they would put DX over one of the most popular tag teams ever, and of course they did. I don't know why this surprises me but it did. Big Props to Scotty for taking the dive off the stage, but I'll tell you I ain't buying this new Val, haircut or not...the guy is just boring, and his promo sucked. Plus to go from Benoit to Rikishi to Val is just two giant steps down. I mean at least Rikishi was a fighting champ, he came out with his belt and defended it. Val didn't even have the belt with him on RAW...what did he leave it in his hotel room?...hell people are going to forget he's the champ...I think some people already have....which is a shame, because Benoit made that belt mean something again, but now it is back in nowheresville. And I'll tell you something else...I was SO unthrilled to hear the announcement of a cage match between Val and Rikishi at the PPV. Does anyone really want to see this match? I say the WWF needs to get the IC belt off Val, and give it to someone who can actually elevate themselves with it, and I ain't talking about Rikishi.

So I am thinking that I sort of like Terri and Perry...I know I am surprised as anyone to write these words, but it kind of works. Plus if it will make him appear on my TV and unleash destruction like he did to Eddy, that is fine by me...throw in Dean and I am a happy camper. Hell, with Terri at his side, I think Perry should give Val a run for his money. Perry would look good wearing IC gold, and it would definitely elevate him. But first it looks like he will now feud with Eddy, which is definitely a good thing, but I think Perry should set his sights higher than European gold.

Man, Dean sold for Chyna like a champ on RAW, but as much as I love Chyna, I feel it is an insult to have Dean get his ass kicked by Chyna. Please...this is the man of 1000 moves, he should be having an easy time with Chyna...great athlete or not, she is not fit to shine Dean's shoes when it comes to in-ring work.

Ok, so what's the deal with Kane...a month ago it looks like he was actually going to challenge for the heavyweight title. Now he is coming out to defend and support his brother at all costs...huh? Plus I am all for Kane talking and I thought he did a really good job on RAW but it sort of came out of nowhere. I mean he goes from not being able to talk, to being able to talk a little, to being able to talk in long sentences in a perfect voice, which by the way sounds exactly like the Undertaker's voice. I just don't buy it. Plus why is he so up on the Undertaker all of a sudden, and what about him? Here his "brother" who is still half injured has one of the three Main Events at Fully Loaded, but Kane is not even on the card? What the hell is that about? Kane is one of those underdogs I love so much who for some reason never gets the big matches, or the big opportunities. I think this sucks. Not that I think a Kane/Rock match would be very good, but still, he at least deserves to be in a feud of his own and not just riding on the coattails of the Undertaker. That being said, I still have my doubts about this Undertaker/Kurt Angle match. Kurt Angle has got to be one of the funniest guys ever on TV. When he asked HHH if he wanted to shake on it or get a hug, I about bust a gut laughing. The guy just has the best delivery....if I were the WWF, I would put Kurt over the Undertaker in this situation, talk about instantly elevated, but I don't' see this happening, so expect UT to come out on top in this match.

Jericho vs. HHH: I am so ecstatic about this match, esp. now that it is a last man standing match. A stipulation I am actually excited about. I think this is a perfect type of match for the climax of this very good, very intense rivalry. It was great to see the crazed Jericho doing his suicide dive onto HHH and two refs...(hey Heather...your ref got knocked on his ass, I hope you were laughing as much as I was), because lets face it, besides this feud with HHH, Jericho has gotten a little stale. I still love to watch him in the ring, but he definitely needs a little something extra to motivate him. It seems like HHH is great motivation for him though. In his own commentary, Jericho said that he absolutely loves fighting HHH and that if he could just fight HHH and Chris Benoit for the rest of his career he would be happy. Personally, I think that he and HHH have great chemistry in the ring, and of course we get to see how Ms. Stephanie will affect the match up as well. I fully expect Jericho to be the last man standing in this contest...I just have a feeling, and I hope I am right.

Ok, before I finish up, I just want to briefly touch on the ECW PPV Heatwave 2000. I was very impressed with the in ring action, but the storylines or lack thereof just left me a little empty.

The opener between CW Anderson/Swinger/Simon Diamond vs. Kid Kash/Doring and Roadkill was excellent. It really was, and the crowd was red hot for it. High light of this match was a stunning springboard moonsault by Kid Kash, it was spectacular.

Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino was awesome as hell too. Of course me being a giant Jerry Lynn mark has nothing to do with it. The man can flat out wrestle his ass off. At one point, Corino was just bleeding buckets, and Jerry Lynn takes his blood and puts it on himself like war paint...I have to say this definitely made me sickly excited...this was my favorite match of the night, and props to Corino for looking great out there, and wearing the crimson mask.

The International fourway was really good too, Psychosis came out unmasked, much to my surprise. He really didn't play a big role in the match, and the best part was when it was Guido vs. Tajiri. Tajiri walks out deservedly with the win here.

Despite the debut of the Van Terminator, which was sweet as hell, I thought the Scotty Anton/RVD match was just terrible. It had no flow, and RVD's showboating really got in the way of making it a cohesive match. They never really clicked here and basically I thought this was one of RVD's worst matches to date.

And I must be honest, I haven't watched the Main Event and I don't think I really want to.

The ECW are in trouble...yeah, the wrestling is there, but they don't really have any kind of compelling storyline going on anywhere on the card. They are stagnating big time, and Paul E needs to think up something quick. As long as Jerry Lynn and Tajiri and a few others are wrestling, I will always tune in, but I can't say the same for others.

On that note, I hope you enjoy the PPV this weekend. It should be interesting if nothing else.

Rebecca Cerese
[slash] wrestling

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