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Rebecca Cerese

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REBECCA'S RANTS

Hey All! I am back after my week's hiatus to do my usual ranting about the pastime I know and love: wrestling. Last week, I was out of the office and doing some production work so I didn't get a chance to put in my two cents worth. I really don't have anytime anymore as work seems to literally be piling up on my desk as we speak. I look back wistfully to the days when I had all the time in the world to write and write and write. I think the answer would be to get a computer at home, this way I wouldn't have to rely on being at work to write this thing. Anyway, enough about all that crap. Since I am once again seriously pressed for time I'll get right to the Rants.

Ok, what first...King of the Ring....ummm HATED IT....instead of KOTR it should be call "the show that could have been but wasn't". I will get to that in a second...since I happen to be in a great mood today...and some of you know why... I will skip to the things that made me happy instead.

MICK IS BACK....YAY!!! I did not go surfing the net at all on Monday afternoon, so Mick's return was a total surprise to me...and I was happy for it. Sometimes the internet spoils shit..it really does. So when he walked out as commish in Worchester MA, the place where he first captured the WWF Heavyweight title, me and my friend Jen were jumping up and down...well let me amend that. I was jumping up and down, and she was still trying to pick her tongue off the floor from seeing HBK out there. Of course this was right on the heels of Vince telling us that he would be staying off TV for while to give Linda another child or some such crap as that...whatever. I didn't even mind sitting through a long and boring Vince soliloquy (esp. since it will hopefully be his last for a while...a long while) ...well maybe I minded a little but it was all erased when Mick came out...man have I missed the big lug...and Mick as Commish, its just great...you can see he is so happy to be back, and this way we get to see him but don't' have to worry about him injuring himself further...it is perfect. And he once again proved that he is THE MAN on the mike by improving RAW about 1000% just by talking. Its not just what he says, it's how he says it and his ability to ad lib like no one else. I think I can listen to him all day. His exchanges with HHH actually made HHH's droning on and on bearable. His back and forth with Christian and Edge was super, and I hope to see lots and lots of it in the future. Between Edge and Christian's spoiled little blonde bimbo brothers and Mick dancing around to the soda song I was in near hysterics. "What did the Rock ever do for this company?" Man, Christian and Edge are getting monster air time, and they are utilizing every bit of it. They are always funny, and they are always entertaining, and now they have the belts back too, back where they belong is what I say.

Ok, so Mick coming back and shaking things up a bit made me very happy, as did the obvious elevation of some new fresh blood into the Main Event picture. Jericho and Kurt Angle seemed to have finally arrived, and I say they are ready, able and willing. Feud Kurt with the Rock, and Jericho with HHH and we have some cool stuff going on. The mike wars between Kurt and Rock alone will be awesome. At least it seems that we are starting to go in a different direction, which is sorely needed as another rehashing of HHH/Rock would be enough to make me tune out for a while. Rock as champ, I am not to crazy about the idea, but I am willing to see where the WWF goes with this... So let me backtrack a little and give my impressions from KOTR. I think that the first match set the tone for the rest of the night for me. When Benoit dq'd himself all the heat just went out of the PPV. In my mind there were only three possible winners in this years tournament and they were Benoit, Angle and Jericho, everyone else was just filler (well except for Eddy, but I knew he wouldn't win). So what do they do, they eliminate two of three guys in the first round, one a bullshit dq which served absolutely no purpose, oh yeah did I mention, they did this after having him lose his precious IC title last week on Smackdown for no good reason either. Lets pretend like we are going to elevate Benoit and then pull this shit. Why put the IC title on Rikishi. Benoit's whole fightingest IC champ of all time was working so damn well, why end it so abruptly, esp. to put the belt on someone who doesn't even need it.

Smackdown and KOTR left me saying WTF all night long, and that is not a good thing...

Lets look at Jericho vs. Angle...why put this match in the first round, esp. if you are going to dq Benoit in the first round as well. Was there any doubt in anyone's mind that the winner of this match would take the whole tournament. How about a little suspense people! I liked the idea of getting Stephanie involved, I esp. loved the kiss, one of the true highlights for me of the night...But this match should have been in the next round, not the first. Esp. since there was absolutely no purpose for the Crash/Bull match. Ok, so you have these two guys who don't even deserve to be in the tournament...don't get me wrong, I like Crash, but if they were going to give him back his hardcore title later in the show than they should have let a more deserving wrestler have this spot...and don't even get me started on Bull "why is the WWF shoving this guy down my throat" Buchanan. So we get Crash vs. Bull instead of say D'lo vs. Perry or some other really great match up like that. Hell D'Lo and Perry and Dean for that matter were sitting on their hands in the back while we got served this shit, and don't forget the best match of the night...the evening gown fiasco with Patterson and Briscoe. My question, who the hell thought this would be funny, and why are these guys taking up precious PPV time when quality guys like the one's I've mentioned were sitting in the back.

I think one of the reasons I was so disappointed with KOTR is that I had high expectations that it would focus on quality wrestling matches, rather than inane storylines. I know the WWF is trying to push Val Venis...although I don't know why...I never liked the guy, and I certainly don't now that his is with Trish the Bitch. But you give up the opportunity for Benoit vs. Eddy for Rikishi vs. Val. I don't think so. Maybe I am in the minority here but these are the kind of matches I wanted to see in this tournament. Not joke matches like Bull vs. Crash. Ok, enough venting about the tournament itself. In the end, the right guy won, as Angle already proved why he had to be KOTR when he came out wearing that gigantic crown...I have no problem with Angle winning, I just have a problem with how they went about it. So much potential and it was wasted. That being said, I thought the last match was pretty decent, and I have to give Rikishi credit. He is a big man, and he fought 3 matches in one night, taking massive punishment in all of them. So kudos to him, and damn that bruise he has on his arm looks nasty....YUCK. Other matches:

Ok, it has to be said so I will say it, excuse the unlady like language but...WHO THE HELL ARE ROAD DOGG AND XPUKE BLOWING BACKSTAGE TO GET THE KIND OF PUSH THEY ARE GETTING. They go over the Dudleys again at the PPV...although of course it was great to see Road Dogg and X-Pac go through a table, but please...why are these no talent guys (sorry Heather, but when was the last Road Dogg looked any kind of impressive in the ring huh?) going over major talents like the Dudleys and Jericho. It is infuriating. I mean, I know it didn't kill the Dudleys heat at all, esp. since they put Tori through a table finally after the fact, but that is not the point. The point is these guys suck, they are in serious need of a gimmick overhaul, and they totally annoy the living shit out of me, and they never ever get what's coming to them ever. Do something with these guys or stop pushing them to the moon. They are so unworthy...

Side note: I have to say as much as I hate the she-man Tori, I got no satisfaction seeing her go through the table because it was obvious that she was already really hurt, and although Buh Buh totally protected her when she went through the table, it was obvious that she was in a lot of real pain. I certainly don't want to see that at all. Kudos for her for going through with the bump, despite the injury...

Speaking of bumps: Shane-O- Mac is a complete nutcase. I have never seen such a crazy bump in my life as the one he took from the UT at KOTR. I have watched it over and over, yes my sick side definitely came out on this one, and it is truly mindblowing to see the force and velocity with which he hit that announce table. I have not really had a time to look to see what the true injury was on the net, as I have been super busy, but there is no doubt in my mind that he got fucked up. OUCH!!! Shane definitely wins my vote for bump of the year so far...that was just insanity.

Ok, I am jumping around all over the place. As you can tell I am not exactly focused today, so just bear with me...

4 way elimination match for the Tag Team Titles: the most amazing thing about this match was that Too Cool were not the most over tag team out there, the Hardys were. Of course I second that, but what happened was once they were defeated, the heat seemed to totally leave the match. I have to give credit to Lita for that sweet 'rana off the top rope onto Edge...that was super impressive as hell. I still don't' think I like her with the Hardys...I think there are other people who would benefit more from her than the Hardys...but I am not complaining to much. Edge and Christian did a great pose, as I was a huge Met Fan in 1986, living in NY at the time, and I remember the Bill Buckner thing VERY WELL. I knew that is what they were going to do, and it was great. I am super thrilled that Edge and Christian are the champs again, but I don't exactly understand where they are going with a feud against the ApA. I guess they had to get them out there wrestling again, but it was an odd choice to make them #1 contenders....I have to say I almost thought for a second that Perry and D'Lo were going to win, then I was like hahahahahahaha...who the hell am I kidding.

To speak on this pairing for a second. I like it, and think it has potential, but not if we don't ever see them together, I mean seriously, we get one Heat match and then they are in the Tag Team Battle Royale...who the hell is going to root for these guys if they have never seen them together...well besides me and Sharon, and a handful of others. Who the hell did Perry and D'Lo piss off to be getting such shabby treatment, maybe they have to learn the special techniques of Road Dogg and Xpuke to get a damn push...it is a damn travesty that these two men are stuck in limbo land while sad tired DX is getting pushed ....

As everyone knows I am still hoping for a great 2 month feud with Christian/Edge and the Hardys, culminating in some special gimmick match at Summerslam for the titles, where the Hardys take the belts off 2blondes, and become 2 time WWF champions. That is what I want to see and I know I ain't the only one.

Ok, so I have to admit I sort of like Dean the lady's man, esp. if we are going to see him in nothing but a towel, getting a rub down...the man is HOT!!! But I don't understand again...(I seem to be writing that a lot) why they are wasting this guy in a feud with Jerry the King Lawler, and it always seems to involve Terri or the Kat getting naked...not only that they are jobbing him to the KING...Please, how about get the guy into a decent rivalry with someone who actually wrestles full time, but I know that is too much to ask....and was that Stevie Richards looking so cute with his new haircut on RAW...will wonders never cease. I would love to see more of him, esp. if they actually came up with a real gimmick for him.

Side Note: Welcome back TAZZ...it was great to see the "human wrecking machine" back, even if it was just a 2 second RI during the Benoit/Rikishi IC match. And I have to say it took me a minute to understand what he was doing by attacking Rikishi, I was like huh, but I thought you were pissed at Benoit for slamming your arm in a car door...oh you are costing him the match...now I understand....Good to see him back...I still think they should be putting him in a rivalry with Saturn...but what do I know right...

Ok, so what else...oh yeah, the Rock as the Champ...I hate it of course, but if it means he is going to feud with Angle I am willing to give it a chance. And it was cool how the WWF took HHH out of the title picture at least for the moment, and at the same time threw him head first into the long time coming rivalry with Jericho. This I like, I just wish it was still for the WWF title, because I just love the idea of Jericho with that title around his waist, throw in Stephanie, and this rivalry can take on mythic proportions.

Oh Yeah, how can I forget Raven seems to be coming to the WWF...I am so ecstatic. I love Raven, and if he gets back into shape, I am very interested in seeing what kind of place he can make for himself in the WWF. Should be really cool, yet another hot man on the WWF roster for me to drool over...can never have enough of those... So after seeing RAW, I half thought that the WWF purposely messed up the booking of KOTR to lead into this supposed new era in the WWF. Well I hope so...they have one giant thing going for them, and that is Mick Foley. The man is a major talent, with tons of charisma and the best mike skills ever, and there is a lot of potential there for him "booking" some great matches. So although I was about disgusted as hell on Sunday, I am willing to give the WWF another shot at proving themselves to be the greatest form of entertainment out there today.

The Undertaker in that baseball cap was a good start...that man is just SEXY...and I love the brothers together...don't exactly know where they are going with this, but as long as I get to drool over the UT I am happy...man I am so fickle.

Until next time...

Rebecca Cerese
[slash] wrestling

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