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/wrestling /guests /Cerese |
| Guest Columns | Rebecca Cerese |
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REBECCA'S RANTS Hello everyone, yes its me, its me, its that R to the E to the B to the E to the double C to the A, back with my weekly musings about those huggable, sometimes furry, sometimes clean shaven, critters otherwise known as Professional Wrestlers...No these guys aren't real athletes...(except of course for Kurt Angle...after all he's been a champion his entire life) they just play them on TV. I thought the Monday Night show from the REAL leader in professional wrestling (and not some $2 billion dollar knock off) was jam packed with exciting action...and there were a few matches as well. Onto the rants... First off I want to say a big fat Congratulations to Mick Foley, best selling author, for making it to #3 on the NY times Best Seller list! I for one cannot wait to buy the book this Saturday in Raleigh, where Mick himself will be there to sign copies...and then just a few hours after that Kane is doing an autograph session also. Wow, two of my favorites in one day!! I am super excited to say the least. Then at night there is a house show in the brand new Raleigh Arena. The house shows seem like they have been pretty exciting, playing up strongly on this DX vs. Rock/Austin/Kane angle which I simply adore. Can't imagine that I will be disappointed, except that it appears as if the Rock has the night off. At least Christian and Edge will be there, so I am happy about that. Plus if I get to see Kane lay out X-Pac I will be doubly as happy, as that little punk deserves everything he gets... Quick Note: I thought Smackdown last Thursday was quite enjoyable. As cheesy as it was seeing Road Dogg trapped in the bear trap or DX get caught in that giant net, or my personal favorite: the ceiling falling on X-Pac all had me busting a gut. Which leads me to my first big rant...I have to say, I told you so! DX as heels is working extremely well for the WWF. The plain truth is DX = Heat. Now in the past it has been face heat, but now it is some serious heel heat. It doesn't hurt that Vince McMahon brilliantly booked them into this immediate feud with the 3 beloved faces of the WWF, Austin, Rock and yes Kane, who is extremely over as a face right now. It also doesn't hurt that every member of DX is able to act like a cocky, arrogant jerk off either. Now I didn't like X-Pac before but after this week's RAW, I absolutely hate him. Calling Kane a coward or a weakling is one thing (it is pretty obvious that X-Pac has taken some pretty serious 4:20 time to make these comments), saying he has carried Kane's ass is yet another example of the ample number of drugs that X-Pac has been ingesting, but to publicly talk about Kane's ahem...equipment being burned in the fire is just RUDE. Can we say jealous!! I saw the way he looked at Tori...the way he was taunting her to hit him, X-Pac wishes he had a woman of his own, or there could be another scenario...I think she is in cahoots with X-Pac and its all a plot to hurt Kane. I really don't want to see Kane get hurt again but I don't want to see him with Tori either, hell I would rather see him with Debra, although this wouldn't work to well either. Side Note: First off what the hell does "romantically linked" mean? And why the hell is that bimbo going after Kane? Hell why don't you put Kane with me, I'll comfort him! Road Dogg vs. the Rock- brilliant move by the WWF. Hell there have been rumors going around for months about how these two guys really hate each others guts!! So besides getting Road Dogg over as a heel but putting him up against the people's champ, there is also an added level for the internet "smarts" as this feud closely mirrors reality. Throw in Austin, the McMahons (more on this later) and these are all your top dogs involved together in an extremely interesting and entertaining angle. God rereading what I just wrote I realize I am such a mark, but at least I admit it, and honestly, if you don't mark out for things and suspend your disbelief, wrestling wouldn't be any fun at all. Other stuff Chyna finally has her own Theme Music, and just in time for her to drop the IC strap at Survivor Series and rejoin DX as a heel...well that's what I think is gonna happen anyway. But seriously, I am glad she finally has her own music, so we as fans are not wondering who the hell is going to show up on the ramp when the music hits. I mean she is the IC champ for gods sake, she should have her own entrance music. But like I said, I think this reign will unfortunately be short lived, which makes me sad, because I am seriously enjoying her little run as the IC Champ. I mean who else is going to tell Jericho he whines and bitches like he has a yeast infection? Who else even knows what having a yeast infection is all about? I do wish she would fight other people besides Stevie Richards though. I wonder if a lot of men feel uncomfortable fighting a woman, or having to lose to one, and that is the reason she has faced so few opponents. I know a lot of anti-Chyna people are going to jump all over this and say, well maybe she just sucks and can't face anyone good, well don't even bother writing this to me, because this just isn't the case in my opinion and nothing any of you guys can say will ever change my mind... Onto Jericho...I really like this new aggressive Jericho that has emerged since thankfully dropping Curtis Hughes. Jericho certainly seems just fine about hitting a woman, as his attack on Chyna looked especially fierce and a bit stiff. But still, these things a good rivalry make, so I am pretty psyched. Plus I thought Stevie did a wonderful job parodying Jericho...I think the guy can imitate just about anyone...he just makes me laugh my ass off people. I really feel bad for certain excellent performers who can't garner any crowd reaction...the headbangers for one...hell these guys are hilarious. They are almost as good as Stevie when it comes to making fun of people. I have enjoyed there matches with the Dudley's, but it is a bit distracting when the live crowd is chanting "BORING" at the top of their lungs....how rude. Too Cool also seemed to get zero crowd reaction. I am hoping that maybe its because they have been out of action for so long, or maybe its because their gimmick doesn't seem to be that good. I think these two guys are extremely talented. I loved when they were Too Much, and I wish they would go back to being ambiguously gay. Not only were they instant heels, due to all of the homophobic wrestling fans, but they were absolutely hilarious together. Obviously this Too Cool gimmick doesn't seem to be working so back to the drawing board for them, but in the mean time, I am extremely excited about the in ring possibilities between them, the Holly's, the Hardy's and Christian and Edge. We got a small taste of this on Monday, and all I have to say is where do I sign up for more. Christian as usual looked quite impressive, that is of course when the camera man stayed on him. Usually the production team are pretty much right on, but they missed some spots last night. When Christian did his springboard to the outside move, the cameras caught the tale end of it. We only got to see Jeff Hardy's killer move in a replay, because the Camera had to instead show us...I don't know what. But do I sense tension already between the Hardy's and the Canadian blondes. When Edge scored the pin, the Hardy's were looking at him kind of strangely, and then Skank, I mean Terri took off with Edge and Christian instead of her charges the Hardy's. Problems in paradise people. I think so...but if this ends with my boys wearing tag team gold, I will be a very happy camper. Hell, I would be happy if they had to defend their titles every week against the Hardy's...these four always find new and exciting ways to entertain. My prediction is that if these four teams are in a survivor series match, it will steal the PPV! I just hope Christian comes out on top! Hell for now, I am just glad they are getting so much TV time. Random Thoughts Speaking of ...I was ecstatic to see Bulldog got the night off. I was not happy to see Big Show shaved his facial hair off, as now this "killer" looks like a 12 year old. Plus I am just a sucker for facial hair, and he just doesn't look as good without it. Billy Gunn needs to fire his hairdress because I think he/she left the peroxide on to long...damn golden boy... Val Venis is just not main event status. He is a great wrestler with lots of great moves, but he doesn't have what it takes right now to be in the main event. Plus I think he is better as a face. This heel thing is just not working for him, because he can't do his "hello ladies" followed by the sexual innuendo, therefore his gimmick is dead. No gimmick= not good!! I mean a heel porn star, this just doesn't sound right. I have to say I rather enjoyed the Hardcore match between Boss Man, Prince Albert, Mankind and Al Snow. Foley's little autograph session was hilarious as was Al Snow numbering all the ribs against him in Mick's book. I like this more subdued Al Snow a whole lot more than when he is a psycho. Plus the guy is a good wrestler. One more thing, Prince Albert can certainly sell a chair shot. This guy is just impressive. What happy drugs was Stephanie McMahon on last night. I usually find her very endearing, but last night she was completely obnoxious. Her commentating had to be the worst in history!! And then there's Test who looks so damn adorable. The guy just has a smile that can melt any girls heart. Do you think they were making out long enough? Yes that's right, PURE JEALOUSY talking there folks. The bad thing about this engagement is Test's in ring time has been reduced to practically zero, which is not good, since I think he is one of the most talented wrestlers in the WWF. I have figured something out...in the WWF...Canadian = excellent technical wrestler...I mean you got Christian, Edge, Test and Val Venis, none of whom are to shabby in the ring. One more thing, and I have to run...KEEP SHANE MCMAHON ON MY TV. I don't know about the rest of you, but I love this kid. He has such energy and charisma, you can just tell he loves what he does in the ring with a passion. To see him run to the ring like a house on fire was quite inspiring. Even Stone Cold had to grudgingly give Shane his due...I liked this Main Event a lot as I thought it was excellently set up with HHH and DX conveniently crashing the engagement celebration. Shane attacking HHH was very well executed, as he legitimately seemed like he wanted to beat HHH's ass. Shane excites me, and I don't mean sexually, although he is a cutie pie, and his excitement is contagious. That is why I think it's a good idea to keep him on TV. And of course now we have the big question...Did Vince accidently hit Shane with the Belt or was it part of some grand scheme he has hatched with DX. With Vince McMahon you never know, and this is one of the reason I keep watching. One more thing, and I am gone....Check out the ECW PPV this weekend, it is really shaping up to be something special. Seriously people, if you are a fan of actual wrestling moves, you need to watch this PPV. Give ECW a shot, these guys really work their asses off. Well that all for me. Thanks for reading...and I'd love to hear your opinions since you read through mine....See ya. Rebecca Cerese The World's Most Dangerous Abs Mail the Author Visit the World's Most Dangerous Abs |
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