10. Royal Rumble Preview

WWF Title Match: 3H (with Stephanie) v. Kurt Angle (c) (with Trish)

I don't think the heel v. heel aspect of the match appeals to anyone. I don't know what they are going to do with Angle after this loss. Push him back down the card? I think the most ballsy move they could pull out here is to put Angle over, and I actually think they might do that. It'dbe a nice swerve, and it'll give Angle some much-needed credibility. Then at No Way Out he can return the job. That's what I'd do to built Wrestlemania mystery, although I think they want to stop the bleeding and just give HHH the belt. I expect a better match than the pretty good one they had at Unforgiven because of the larger stage and increased importance, probably playing to HHH's strength and Rumble tradition with a brawl here to get the crowd going. Both men bleed, and despite not having great chemistry, the match is probably ****+. The pick is HHH.

Royal Rumble Match

This is one of the most stacked Rumbles in years, and even though I would have liked to see Triple H in the Rumble, there's enough mystery to make it interesting. The last few years the WM title shot has been contested at the next PPV. Seems like they might give away Rock v. Austin at No Way Out to spike the buyrate there. Instead Austin wins the Rumble, point blank. Austin v. Rock v. Taker to end it and Taker costs Rock the title shot. Rock beats Taker at 'Mania, Taker feuds with Benoit. It should be a good Rumble, even though I'm not a big Rumble fan. The pick is Austin.

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match: Chris Jericho v. Chris Benoit (c)

I have seen far too many ladder matches in the last year alone, and I'm not looking forwards to this one. It'll probably be pretty good, make no mistake, but I'm tired of these two fighting each other. I would have preferred both men in the Rumble to hike up the star quotient there, and maybe they'll get in anyway. With the way this card looks, I don't see this match getting enough time to be really great. Jericho + a ladder= forty-plus blown spots, and that can't bode well for anyone. I like Jericho to win the title and start crushing the opposition for awhile before he turns heel.

Tag Team Title Match: The Dudley Boyz v. Edge/Christian

If I was the World Wrestling Federation, I would have made this a losing team must split up match and seperated Edge and Christian afterwards, as both should move on after the success of the team. I expect a good to great match here, although they'll be short on time. Duds to win, setting up a No Way Out losing team must split up rematch.

9. The mystique of the crowd pop...why do guys get pushed when they shouldn't? Because, clearly, the make up of a fan at the event is different than the make up of the viewer. If you're going to the event, and you paid to see it, you can't be bothered to say what you like and don't like about the product, for the most part. you paid to enjoy the product, and you'l ltry your damned hardest to do that. That's why I think there is a huge untapped audience for pure wrestling on television, beyond the smarts. Here's the Top Ten List of guys who shouldn't be pushed but are pushed because of crowd pops:

10. Jeff Jarrett
9. X-Pac
8. Big Bossman (although god knows where he is now)
7. Trish is really hot.
6. Billy Gunn
5. Scott Keith
4. Road Dogg
3. Hogan (Hogan at least has charisma)
2. Sid
1. Kevin Nash

8. When they show HHH hitting Austin with a pipe on RAW in replay, they add the sound effect on the pipe hitting his head. That's kind of sick.

7. If Albert starts to turn face and cuts promos on Benoit, I think he could be over before long. Crushing Crash Holly on heat isn't doing anything for him.

6. The WWF should make Heat a top show or abolish it. They are only hurting their product. Funny moment of the week on Heat: crowd gets restless and chants seperately, "TAKE IT OFF!" and "MICHAEL SUCKS!" Doesn't this prove that this Trish-Vince-Stephanie stuff isn't over because it has NOTHING TO DO WITH WRESTLING. That's the name on the marquee, boys.

5. Sean O'Haire is the future of this business. He is Mike Awesome squared, and he has the size and workrate to main event in this company.

4. If I had a lot of money, I'd buy Paul E. out of ECW. Then I'd finagle a national television deal and stack the deck with good workers and run a completely different wrestling product. I'd use what Paul E. has left of good workers,

Yoshihiro Tajiri
Super Crazy
Tony Mamaluke
Little Guido
Kid Kash (new gimmick)
Jerry Lynn (if not signed)
Rob Van Dam,

and build the company out of these guys. I'd add a lot of free agents, and sign various Japanese workers. My wish list would include:

Christopher Daniels
Juventud Guerrera
Psicosis
La Parka
Mike Modest, perhaps

and various other independent workers like Reckless Youth and his ilk. I could get Bret Hart back into the fold, if he liked.

Television would be two hours a week in one block, and each match would be approximately ten minutes long. I'm no huge workrate fan, but give that promotion reasonable interesting storylines and I think it could do huge business and bring in guys like D'Lo Brown, giving them more exposure. One day, when I am filthy rich, this dream becomes reality.

3. Nitro's opening promo was a badass way to set off the Steiner-Goldberg feud. It was suitably epic, and drew fantastic heel heat from me in my living room. Once again Steiner proves he is the top World Champion in the business. Sure, it went a little long, but wow. I still would have preferred Flair to be the mystery opponent, and they could have turned him that way, or left him face to battle Steiner at Superbrawl. I don't think the big heel turn was appropriate.

2. RAW v. Nitro...If Scaia says Nitro was worse than RAW, I will kill my first born. The first two matches of Nitro were better than ALL of RAW. I mean, how mayn times do I have to watch UT and Kane and Rikishi. IN THE SAME MATCH! They aren't over and they won't be ever. AND NO MORE SIX MAN TAGS ON RAW. I FUCKING MEAN IT, IF I SEE ONE MORE SIX MAN TAG I WILL SLAUGHTER MCMAHON'S FIRST BORN. I hated, hated, hated Raw. And I'd have rather watched RAW than read Scaia's Fantasy Universe. Scaia, it's a fantasy you have a job. RAW blew. I hate six man tags. End of story, kids.

1. WCW Sin review...My comments in the preview, and my comments now.

4 Way For The World Heavyweight Title: Sid Vicious v. Jeff Jarrett v. Mystery Opponent v. Scott Steiner (c)

I expect this match to be somewhat decent, and I also expect Steiner to retain for the time being. With no one really in charge, and the belt still rebuilding crebility after 2000, better to leave it on him for the moment. Eric S. wants to take it off, but give it to who? Steiner to win, and the match to be **1/2 to ***1/2 Mystery opponent is Sting. Steiner finishes Sting with Jarrett's help, rematch at next PPV. Otherwise, it's Flair himself, same story.

I was trying to make a call with Sting, and I paid. I still think Flair or even Steiner would have been a better choice than Road Warrior Bullshit. How much better would a straight Jarrett-Steiner match have been. It's more important to satisfy the PPV watcher at that point than the storyline. Anyway, considering Sid's injury, I don't know what to say here. The change in booking didn't help a match that sucked ass, and I'm sorry I thought it would be good. I go 1 for 1 on predictions, so that's a plus. Flair heel turn: not the way I would have gone, but Bisch is back so Flair is heel. That's the rule, right?

Goldberg And Sarge v. Totally Buff: Lex Luger And Buff Bagwell

Goldberg wins, something big happens on Nitro that ends his streak and lets him return to the company. Buff fucks up a blockbuster, ends his career, is fired. DUD

In a way, my second sentence was right here. I go 1 for 2, and I approve of the booking. I liked the funeral angle on Nitro a lot. For The Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms v. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

They seem to be high on Helms, so I think they give him the title here and let him have it while Chavo and Lash form a permanent team that I can be high on. With the long booking stretch putting over Helms is the only way to go. Helms is spotty, but if them give them 12 minutes or so, I look for something reasonably good. ***, most likely.

I was right about the match rating, at least. Nice match out of these two, and I think it helped Helms anyway. I guess they are trying to build the title back up for Bischoff, but I still liked Lash-Chavo a lot. 1 for 3.

For The Tag Team Titles: The Natural Born Thrillers (Any Two Of The Thrillers) vs. The InSiders: Kevin Nash And Diamond Dallas Page

Jindrak & O'Haire will wrestle the majority of the match here, and the champs (DDP and Nash) will retain. Title switch on Nitro. **1/2

Clearly, I'm retarded at picking matches. I was right about the rating. 1 for 4.

3 Way Dance For The Hardcore Title: Crowbar With Daffney vs. Meng vs. Terry Funk.

Crowbar has been cutting amazing promos in this feud. I'm saddened at Meng's inclusion, but I think this will be bad any way you call it. Funk retains. *1/2

I didn't think this was anything special, and the booking was bullshit. Nice Crowbar-Chavo match on Nitro. And did you see Konnan's Super DDT? I'm into it. HOW MANY GODDAMN SIX MAN TAGD WERE THERE ON RAW! I HATE THE WWF. 1 for 5.

For The Commissionership: The Cat With Ms. Jones v. Mike Sanders.
This was thrown together hastily. Sanders wins, keep commisionership. Match is second verse, same as the first.

1 for 6, I am HORRIBLE. I enjoyed this. I like Mike Sanders, and his new Lil' Natch thing is cool with me.

Canadian Style Penalty Box Match: The Filthy Animals v.Team Canada

Probably the match of the night from these guys, as everyone can work and will work. I like the gimmick and look for a **** match. Canada wins, and Awesome picks up the pinfall to justify his inclusion in Team Canada. That's what should happen, but Animals go over with Duggan's aid is probably just as good.

I give myself the point here, even thought the match was kind of bullshit. Remember the Thrillers-Animals Fall Brawl match? That was badass. 2 for 7.

First Blood Match For The U.S. Heavyweight Title
General Rection v. The Franchise Shane Douglas

I get bored thinking about this match. Title change, Morrus chases the title afterwards. DUD

3 for 7, DUD.

Sin was better than expected, especially with the K&K v. Dragons match. But low expectations do not make a good PPV. If this was the WWF, we'd be saying it's a sack of shit. As it is, I know no one wants give a Thumbs in the Middle, but that was Sin.

I've never been a big Japan fan, but I like to watch their women. Manami Toyota and Kyoko Inoue and such are pretty cool, and the fast pace of their matches is pretty kickass. I like the cool finishers too. This match is a little different. I knew neither of these wrestlers before I watched this match, and it's cool to see how far they took the concept. This is a very cool match, reminding me of Vader v. Jack and Jack v. Funk, for different reasons.

COMBAT TOYODA v. MEGUMI KIDO (Exploding Barbed Wire Match 5/5/96)

This is from FMW, I think. To give you an idea, it seems like there are a lot of people there. Certainly more than at a Funk v. Jack match. And Kido is cruiserweight size, while Combat is Vader-size. They don't play it big-little, though.

They slug it out to start, with Kido taking the brunt of the punishment. The barbed wire is strung around the ring, but it's not there as ropes, per se. Toyoda tries to bring Kido down to the barbed wire, and they do that little spot until Toyoda finally steps back. Slugfest, and Megumi applies the headlock. They slide around, still not touching the barbed wire. Megumi slams Toydo, but she kicks out at two. Megumi almost kicks her to the wire several times, but Toyoda's mullet, presumably, saves her. Roll-up gets two for Megumi, and then Toyoda gets a powerslam for two. Heabdutts nearly send Megumi into the barbed wire, but then they fight over a test of strength, and Megumi rolls out of the way, but gets kicked into the bartbed wire, and there goes the "explosion," if you can call it that. It's not that strong, and is purely there to hype the contact with the barbed wire, I think. Megumi plays dead, and takes a release Blue Thunder Bomb for two. That was nasty looking. Toyoda puts her in a torture rack, spins around, and drops a neckbreaker for two. Nice. Combat then looks for an inverted surfboard, which is way out of place in this match, and she gets it. Toyoda throws her down, and then tries something, but gets armdragged out. Megumi whips her to the rope, reversal, but Megumi slides and Combat goes into the barbed wire. The explosion duly follows. Now Megumi goes on the offense, bleeding from the arm and shoulder. She tries what I can only call a sleeper, even applying leg scissors and rolling over on the hold. I guess she's working the neck, because she goes on to hit an enziguiri and then applies an ultimate sleeper. Apparently there's a strong wind in the arena, because her hair is actually blowing. Megumi tries a whip into the barbed wire, but Combat just collapses, never making it there. Megumi tries a double underhook powerbomb but gets backdroppped and knocked into the non-exploding ropes. Bridging german suplex gets two. She tries a powerbomb, but Megumi reverses to a DDT for two. Megumi hits a nothern lights suplex as Combat bleeds hard from her arm. She drops Megumi on her head in a vicious backdrop suplex to retake control, and then hits a sit down powerbomb for two. She signals for the end, and hits a tiger bomb with a bridge for 2.999. Megumi plays dead. Then Combat hits ANOTHER bridging powerbomb for two. Megumi now us dead. She tries a third, but Megumi flips out and sunset flips her for two. Megumi tries a german suplex into the barbed wire, but that goes awry, so Megumi steps back and runs into Combat, taking them both into the exploding barbed wire. That's kind of insane. The announcers are going crazy, but they're doing it in Japanese, so fuck if I know what they're saying. Ten count is administered, and they finally make it up. Megumi pulls her opponent up with great difficulty, and hits a a foldover tigerbomb for two. God save these women and their necks. Blood flows freely. Megumi then whips out a GANSO BOMB, dropping COMBAT DIRECTLY ON HER FUCKING HEAD. Oh lord, that was stupid. That gets TWO, and Megumi doesn't know what the fuck to do. Let me emphasize that she landed directly on her head unprotected there. Megumi picks combat up, and hits Shane Helms' Vertebraeker, only she actually drops Combat directly on her head. Anyway, that, of course gets three in 20:56. ****1/2 There is a pool of blood in the ring post-match that speaks volumes. Both women do stretcher jobs, and they look like they need them after that war. This match is worth checking out. Whew. In '96, no less.