All I want in life's a little bit of love to take the pain away
Getting strong today
A giant step each day

-Spiritualized

Simple yet profound.

10.

Last week's pay-per-view preview and comments therein:

What I said:

ECW World Heavyweight Title: Steve Corino (c) vs. The Sandman vs. Justin Credible

I think they stop the bleeding here and put the belt back on someone who looks like a world champion. Sadly, none of these guys do, but Credible will have to do. I'm hoping for a psychotic brawl with some heat that might improve on the Snoozefest at 34th Street main event. * to **1/2, most likely.

I had a high good end for this match, which was far more atrocious than I imagined it being. DUD is generous. I disagree with putting the title on Rhino, but with the WCW move, you know he's not going to jump and you can't say that about anyone else. RVD and Sabu look like they are going to WCW, so that's it for RVD most likely. I feel like Rhino's victory seems stupid for so many reasons: quick title changes are stupid, Rhino is too small for the title, Rhino sucks, Rhino's not over, they did this at Cyberslam 2000, Rhino sucks, and the company's dying. 0 for 1 on predictions.

ECW World Tag Team Titles: Danny Doring & Roadkill (c) vs. E.Z. Money & Julio Dinero.

I would have preferred Simon & Swinger to get the title shot here; it seems odd that they aren't. There is no reason to protect S&S, and them doing the job to Doring and Kill would give the two some legitimacy. I look for a good match here, in any case. Champs to retain. ** to ***1/4, leaning up.

It was about what I expected here, and I go 1 for 2, but that's not saying much.

Number One Contenders Match: Tajiri & Mikey vs. F.B.I. vs. Super Crazy & Kid Kash.

I guess ECW is trying for a Match of the Year here, and no better way to do it than to put your best workers in one match. This is the main event, for all intent and purposes, and I'd like to see Paul give them thirty minutes, even if it gets sloppy. This is what we're paying for. I think Super Crazy and Kid Kash go over here, because I wouldn't want either of the other two teams to job to Doring and Roadkill in the meantime. ***1/2 to ****1/2, hopefully not a clusterfuck.

I really think they dropped the ball with this match, which could have gone 20:00 and been a great match. The time was bullshit, and the match wasn't much better. ***, probably, and a big disappointment. I also think it put over the wrong team, but whatever. I guess because they had RVD v. Lynn, this match gets sidelined, but I don't see it. 1 for 3.

Jerry Lynn & Cyrus vs. Christian York & Joey Matthews.

I could give a shit about this match. No point in putting Lynn or Cyrus over, so put this down as a win for the Hardy Boyz and hope they keep it short. **, tops.

I disagreed with most people on the prediction, and I don't count this match as me being wrong. Turned out it was just a setup. "RVD is not coming back!" Then he did, to a pretty anemic reaction. The match was a total anticlimax between two workers who will be in the big leagues pretty soon.

I Quit Match: Tommy Dreamer vs. C.W. Anderson.

Perhaps they'd like to call it the "I Suck" match. I wasn't pleased with last month's effort but it'll be watchable. It's to see Dreamer put Anderson over, anyway. Anderson goes over again, because there is no point to Dreamer winning. * to **3/4, and I'm being generous.

I'd go * to *1/4 here. Didn't do much for me, and putting over Dreamer is stupid. 1 for 4.

I got one prediction right, so I'd like to apologize. I guess I'm just not the smark I thought I was.

9. Kurt Angle v. Steve Austin. I agree with Scott Keith here, as most do. In any case, most agreed that this was an awesome RAW. I felt differently. I felt this was like seeing a DQ finish on a pay-per-view. With all the hype they gave it (not that it popped a big rating) they definitely should have put a finish. with the way they are going with it, it should have been put Angle over. Now he's going to get killed at Royal Rumble, going over Angle a second time this year, and put over Austin at WM. What a piece of shit HHH is. He lets the top guy in the company win the tag titles for three days while he puts himself over and puts himself over. Maybe Rock can't fight Austin at WM because he has to do a movie, but is that any excuse for putting yourself over at any and all opportunity. At least Austin gave Angle some legitimacy, HHH won't even give him that. What a load of shit that RAW was. What a fuck you to the viewer. I predict ratings can and will go lower, and Austin/HHH doesn't get me excited. I think I've heard of it before, it was called Survivor Series.

8.5. Oh, and in no earthly world is that match ****1/4. It wasn't that much better than Benoit-Austin from a few weeks back. I'd go ***1/2, tops. Those suplexes were eerie though.

8. Maybe one of these days the WWF can put together a card before the pay-per-view. Set up a fucking main event and build to it, for chrissakes. Even WCW knows how to do that.

7. Count me already bored by the Royal Rumble card. Austin wins the Rumble again! ANOTHER ladder match! A heel v. heel title match! I'm betting the crowd is going to be dead for this card. Benoit v. Jericho I don't need to see again just because neither man can find better things to do. Jericho should be competing for the title at WM because he's that over, and Benoit should be fighting someone else. On the positive side, http://wwfsummerslam.com/benoit/index.html is a fun place to go for a replay of a classic Jericho promo.

6. The hidden Pillman stuff on the ECW Path of Destruction DVD is real treat. If you have the DVD, definitely check it out.

5. WCW gets bought - count me bored. I'm glad to see DDP bashing the previous product right out of the gate. I will repeat: do not take the World Title off Scott Steiner. He is the first guy to deserve the belt in a long, long time. I think the next marketable main is DDP v. Steiner or Sting v. Steiner, whichever Flair pulls out first. I have a feeling the mystery man at Sin will be Sting, and I hope I'm right, because that pumps some mystery into the main. Although if it why Sting, I would have revealed it on Nitro. In any case, I hope it ain't Rick Steiner.

4. Ah that's right, WCW gets bought - count me bored. Bischoff has reached most of his success through talent acquisition, so I look for Sabu, RVD and Lynn to arrive soon. A new cruiserweight division wouldn't be the worst thing, but I can't help but think once a guy becomes a cruiserweight in WCW, he never escapes the Stigma. Rey-Rey, Kidman, Chavo, Juvy. If Scott Hall comes back to the company as I expect he will, count me more bored. I expect a return to a wrose product. WCW was rebuilding, and that takes time. They were developing stars. Badly, but they were doing it. Now, everything's up in the air. I don't want to see any of those old-timers on television.

3. I check out Rant Central once and awhile, and one of the funniest things I've read on the internet, even if it's inconsistent, is the Hitman489 rants. That stuff is gold.

2. I don't see any of the guys in WCW's midcard putting together the kinds of matches that will get them over. The US Title scene is dead, and Lance Storm v. Rection didn't do anything. Lance Storm v. Mike Awesome had a chance, but that went nowhere. Storm needs to be carried, and Jerry Lynn might be the guy to come in an do it. I don't know what kind of bug Jarrett has in his ass but he'd be over and could get a nice face turn out of it if he fought Storm in some good matches to put him over. The two could get all WWF, the way key midcarders Rock-HHH stepped up to the main event with their feud, and the way key midcarders Benouit and Jericho almost stepped up to the main event with their feud. Besides maybe Storm, I can't see any potential WCW Title holders, and I see no one that could reach the popularity of a Rock, of an Austin, of a HHH, of a Benoit, even.

1. Sin preview: just the way Souled Out was a turning point last year, Sin is the place to impress this year.

Sunday, January 14, 2001, 8 p.m. ET
Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, Indiana

4 Way For The World Heavyweight Title: Sid Vicious v. Jeff Jarrett v. Mystery Opponent v. Scott Steiner (c)

I expect this match to be somewhat decent, and I also expect Steiner to retain for the time being. With no one really in charge, and the belt still rebuilding crebility after 2000, better to leave it on him for the moment. Eric S. wants to take it off, but give it to who? Steiner to win, and the match to be **1/2 to ***1/2 Mystery opponent is Sting. Steiner finishes Sting with Jarrett's help, rematch at next PPV. Otherwise, it's Flair himself, same story.

Goldberg And Sarge v. Totally Buff: Lex Luger And Buff Bagwell

Goldberg wins, something big happens on Nitro that ends his streak and lets him return to the company. Buff fucks up a blockbuster, ends his career, is fired. DUD For The Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms v. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

They seem to be high on Helms, so I think they give him the title here and let him have it while Chavo and Lash form a permanent team that I can be high on. With the long booking stretch putting over Helms is the only way to go. Helms is spotty, but if them give them 12 minutes or so, I look for something reasonably good. ***, most likely.

For The Tag Team Titles: The Natural Born Thrillers (Any Two Of The Thrillers) vs. The InSiders: Kevin Nash And Diamond Dallas Page

Jindrak & O'Haire will wrestle the majority of the match here, and the champs (DDP and Nash) will retain. Title switch on Nitro. **1/2

3 Way Dance For The Hardcore Title: Crowbar With Daffney vs. Meng vs. Terry Funk. Crowbar has been cutting amazing promos in this feud. I'm saddened at Meng's inclusion, but I think this will be bad anyway you call it. Funk retains. *1/2

For The Commissionership: The Cat With Ms. Jones v. Mike Sanders. This was thrown together hastily. Sanders wins, keep commisionership. Match is second verse, same as the first.

Canadian Style Penalty Box Match: The Filthy Animals v.Team Canada

Probably the match of the night from these guys, as everyone can work and will work. I like the gimmick and look for a **** match. Canada wins, and Awesome picks up the pinfall to justify his inclusion in Team Canada. That's what should happen, but Animals go over with Duggan's is probably just as good.

First Blood Match For The U.S. Heavyweight Title
General Rection v. The Franchise Shane Douglas

I get bored thinking about this match. Title change, Morrus chases the title afterwards. DUD

There are two matches of note this week. One is Bret Hart v. DDP for the US Title from World War 3 '98, and the other is the classic Horsemen v. Raven and Saturn Spring Stampede '99 Match. They are both excercises in overstatement and understatement. Bret v. DDP is a bit overrated, and I think even with the praise the tag team amtch recieved it is underrated.

Bret Hart v. Diamond Dallas Page for the U.S. Heavyweight Championship. Wow. Hart is just absurdly over here. DDP's face pop cannot match Hart's heel pop. DDP's babyface act wasn't that bad. He does some really ugly shit, but what are you going to do, s'the price of being a babyface. I don't know why they didn't have Page regain the title here. DDP starts it out with a plancha, and he whips Hart to the steel rail HARD. He throws Hart to the stairs, and this is starting off quite well. DDP whips Hart into the ring. They trade blows in the ring, and then DDP throws him out again (?). DDP has virtually no muscle definition. I mean, he is in a lot better shape now. Hart knocks him on his ass for awhile. Hart is totally dogging it. Tony: "Bret Hart the master of stretching that five count." Tony-what the fuck? Bret gets two because he is a five-time WWF champion, presumably. Page small packages for two. Crowd is dead. Page does his duty by spitting into the camera and then Hart goes to the chinlock. Page gets a swinging neckbreaker as they are working really loose. DDP goes for the Diamond Cutter, but Hart slips out to the floor. Some more bullshit on the outside. Tony is the worst announcer in the history of wrestling at this point. Hart gets the Russian legsweep. Hart goes for the tombstone, but DDP reverses it for two. Hartbreaker and Bret drops the leg for two. Apparently Tony is on drugs tonight as Hart works really S-L-O-W. Page gets a belly-to-belly for two. Page gets the discus clothesline and pancake piledrivers him for two. Both men spill out of the ring. Boy, the crowd just HATES this match. Hart goes for something in the tights. Page hit shim for two. Hart gets a sunset flip but Page reverses it and applies an ugly looking Sharpshooter but Hart gets the ropes. The crowd booes THAT. It was an AWFUL looking sharpshooter. Both men are blown up. Of course, Bret always looks blown up. Hart works the leg methodically. Bret goes to the ringpost and Bret gets the figure-four on the ringpost. Bret deals out more abuse. Bret gets the figure four back in the ring. Bret uses the ropes for leverage. The announcers try to sell that Bret just wants to hurt DDP. DDP is not a good seller. Tony: "DDP has become a hero for many college and high school students." Crowd is absolutely bored to tears. DDP throws Hart into the stairs as he starts the comeback. DDP gets a figure four on the ringpost of his own. DDP brings the steel chair in, but here comes the ref bump. Hart gets the knux he lost back from the ref. Another ref bump as Bret levels Page with the knux. Bret gets the shaprshooter and the nWo ref rings the bell. Micky Jay comes in to reverse the decision, DDP hits the Dimaond Cutter and gets three. Wow, that ending SUCKED. **1/4

I rewatched it before printing this, and boy, was I right. How do you like that?

Chris "THIS IS PUSHED" Benoit and Dean "THE FRANCHISE...OH, WAIT" Malenko v. "I'LL BE CARRIED" Raven and "I'LL CARRY HIM" Saturn. Horsemen enter first with Arn Anderson. Vanilla Midgets are clearly really fucking over. Raven is also more over here than he will ever be in ECW. Raven and Saturn bring a table into the ring. Odd note: the men entered the ring in order of talent. Jesus, if Raven was still in WCW, he would be crazy over. He'd get the world title within weeks. HORSEMEN SUCK chant starts up. Tenay claims "money does not equal happiness." By that token happiness does not equal ECW. The crowd HATES the horsemen. Benoit and Saturn start. Nice wrestling sequence to start, as Saturn ends up atomic dropping Malenko and Saturn whips Malenko into Benoit. Raven gets the tag, whips Benoit to the corner and clotheslines him for two. Tag to Saturn, as Raven facebusters him and Saturn hits a splash off the top. More cool tag team stuff from Raven and Saturn. Dropkick form Benoit hits Raven to the outside. Malenko and Arn stomp on Raven. Benoit chops Raven, and Malenko and Benoit spinebusters him. Heenan says that everyone "enjoys the pain," as Malenko hits a vertical suplex. Inverted dropkick from Benoit, and Benoit rolls him up but the ref is distracted. Benoit gets two off a nice shot. Another lariat gets two. Horsemen are really over. Cheap tag teams from the Horsemen. The double-team continues. Malenko hits Raven hard in the corner. Raven kicks Malenko as he comes to the corner and Raven clotheslines him. Raven tags Saturn and cleans house. He then hits a fireman's carry suplex on Malenko and ten punch count on Benoit. Malenko stop it, and takes him to the top. Raven in, and they get the superplex crossbody combo. Saturn picks up for the DVD but Benoit stop him, waistlocks and Malenko dropkicks Saturn into a German suplex. Wow. Raven goes for the Evenflow on Benoit but Benoit drives him out of the ring. Malenko hits a double-underhook powerbomb and turns it into the Texas cloverleaf. Saturn is struggling. He gets rope. Saturn gets the DVD and Benoit BREAKS IT UP WITH A FLYING HEADBUTT. Malenko covers for two. Benoit in on Saturn with chops. Raven is laid out. Benoit hits a backbreaker. Benoit goes on the offense, then tags Malenko in. more tag-team stuff from the Horseman. Horseman are really over as heels. Malenko gets two. Malenko applies the sleeper and Raven calls for the tag. Malenko wraps his legs around, but Raven gets taken out by Benoit but the move is broken up anyway. Benoit gets two. Benoit hits a Northern Lights suplex with a bridge for two. Benoit attacks, and Malenko kills Benoit on the outside. Tag to Malenko, and Benoit whips Malenko in. Saturn moves out and sunset flips Benoit for two. Malenko grabs a headlock, but Saturn belly-to-backs him out. Raven cleans house in the ring Then clothesline Malenko out of the ring. Raven gets the chair in the ring and gets People's Elbow like applause for the drop toehold on a chair. Saturn comes off onto the table outside onto Malenko but Malenko moves. Malenko into the ring and gets Raven with a chair. Raven then hits an even flow, but as Raven covers Benoit hits the flying headbutt on a chair onto Raven and Malenko covers for the pin. ***** Really, too much action to call, and the best tag-team match I myself have ever seen and the best match I have seen this year. Better than Hart-Benoit from Nitro, despite what is said about that match. Even if it did involve a table and a few chairs, it used them dramatically and they served a purpose in the storytelling.

I'll probably see Sin show on tape, but I'll won't be providing a rant on it. See you next week.