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| Guest Columns | Alex Carnevale |
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TOP TEN BITS Let go your heart let go your head and feel it now... 10. The sad state of the World Wrestling Federation is this: the only money match they have...after years of developing talent and developing talent is Rock v. Austin. No other match will draw for WM. Yes, the Rumble will probably draw, as it always does. No Way Out's buyrate is going to be Rock Bottom...literally. There are no marketable money matches with their current champion: Angle v. Austin has already been seen on TV, and it didn't draw then. No one will pay for Angle v. Rock II. There is no gimmick match to look to beyond Armageddon's Hell in a Cell. I expect that they will run the title through the Rumble, and if that's the case, look for Austin to win the title and face Rocky at WM. If that's the desired result, then there is no reason not to stick Austin's title win on free TV...it'll pop a nice rating if built up to correctly, and the fans need something to keep them there for the main event. Here's my predicted Wrestlemania card, along with results: Austin v. Rock (WWF Title)...Rock wins seventh WWF Title HHH v. Angle...Angle takes decisive victory Undertaker v. RTC (End of a Gimmick Match)...Taker destroys RTC, ends gimmick Benoit v. Jericho (Most Falls in 30 Minutes)...Jericho defeats Benoit Dudleyz v. E/C v. Hardyz (Losing Team Must Split Up)...Hardyz pin E/C, win Tag Title Eddy Guerrero v. X-Pac (IC Title)...Eddy wins, destroys Waltman Malenko v. Lita (LHW Title)...Lita finally pins Dean to win LHW Title Raven v. Tazz (Hardcore Title)...Raven defeats Tazz, forms The Raven Effect (group composed of Raven, Jerry Lynn, and returning Big Show) 9.5. HHH's turn heel is looking like a very bad idea now, isn't it? How much simpler would it have been to turn Jericho heel against Austin and have Austin beat him at Survivor Series instead of going through the whole debacle that they did? That match would have drawn money, and it would have allowed HHH to become an able babyface so they could do the long draw to HHH v. Angle at Wrestlemania X-SEVEN. Now I don't even now how they are going to pull that one off. 8. I long for the return of stables. Two years ago, the entire concept of the stable was a bit played, I admit. There was the Four Horsemen, the Corporation, Raven's Flock, the LWO, all the various incarnations of the nWo, Degeneration X, and the Nation, to name a few. Now what is there that's left? All of these groups are gone, and in place we have the half-hearted kind of stupid Edge/Christian/Kurt Angle alliance, Right to Censor (more on that later), MIA, and the Natural Born Thrillers. That's something that Russo brought with him to WCW...get guys over as a group. It would be awesome to see a reformation of the Four Horsemen, or in lieu of that, a formation of the Apocalypse. Being the leader of a dominant faction would sure give Jeff Jarrett something to do. Make Jarrett the leader. He and Flair can resume pissing each other off, and Flair reforms the Four Horsemen to compete with him. 7. Lance Storm. God knows I'm not suddenly in love with Lance like everyone else. I mean, it's hard for me to remember a good match with him in it, to tell you the truth. Nevertheless, I think WCW needs to start immediately doing for him what the WWF did for Christopher Benoit. Give him a belt, and start putting him over top opponents, pronto. I don't think the Maple Leaf is such a bad submission move, and if he keeps leaning back on it, it could look really cool. 6. Even though the WWF's top card is a mess, they dropped the ball even further with Right to Censor. Every time RAW or Smackdown comes on, two matches on every show involve that boring, boring angle. And Billy Gunn. Who is into that? Every time Lawler gets a serious face on and starts chastising the RTC, I want to vomit. Sacrifice them to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania X-SEVEN. 5. Paul Heyman's big Guilty as Charged '01 surprise. Maybe Heyman's surprise is the return of Rob Van Dam. That would make me say "Holy Shit!" I was among those talking about the death of ECW awhile ago, but I think they will at least make it through the year. I'd look for Justin Credible to win the title at the pay-per-view, and if RVD is ready to return, build directly to RVD-Credible at the next PPV. If RVD's not ready, go directly to Tajiri-Credible. 4.5. RSPW's Match of the Year...TLC Match from Summerslam. Here are the top ten reasons there is no way the match should have been MOTY. 10. The ladder match at Wrestlemania featured the important storyline change in the triple switch. 9. The match had the wrong team going over. 8. The spots were retreads of the highlights of the three predecessors...in other words, it wasn't new. 7. The imminent death of Jeff Hardy should not be celebrated. 6. Spotfest, spotfest, spotfest. These are the same people who said the Starrcade Three-Way was ****. Incredible, they said. Spotfest! 5. There were virtually no wrestling moves not involving a ladder, a table, or a chair. 4. No storyline, pure exhibition. 3. Does anyone notice how much Degeneration X SUCKED? Billy Gunn blew, Road Dogg doesn't even know how to fucking wrestle, Waltman is a piece of shit who does THREE kicks, and HHH sucked at the time as well. This is not a reason the TLC match should not have been match of the year. 2. Spotfest! 1. HHH-Cactus Jack Royal Rumble. I challenge anyone to find a reason this match should be ****3/4. It's perfect. Should have been MOTY. Damn. 4.25. After Moby's songs appeared in every advertisement under the sun, I was not one of the folks calling him a sell-out. But after seeing the Moby feat. Gwen Stefani "Southside" video, I'm ready to call him Mosell-outby. 4. Obscure news bit of the week here: I turned on MTV (I wasn't watching it, I fucking swear) and TRL was on, and Limp Bizkit's "Rollin'" was on. I'd never seen the video, so I stopped to watch it regarding its Undertaker connection. You know how they run the comments on the bottom of the screen? One said, "I voted for "Rollin'" because Limp Bizkit are totally awesooooooome! They totally reek of awesome-nosity!" Sadly, I didn't get the name. 3.75. I don't know who came up with the idea of letting Philip Morris handle Youth Smoking Prevention ads, but doesn't it occur to anyone that by simply letting the ads run again and again and again they are encouraging young people to rebel against the message that they themselves do not want to present. 3. Tazz...I don't think the WWF bungled the arrival of the Radicalz, or Jericho, or Tazz, but I think Tazz is now being misusing the most. He could be the breakout star of 2001. There is no reason that the WWF couldn't have built to Benoit-Tazz at the Royal Rumble. Just give him a feud. Tazz-Benoit, Tazz-Jericho, Tazz-Eddy, and let him cut promos and let those guys carry him to good to great matches. I'd like to see if Benoit could get a **** match out of him. 2. Criticism directed at ECW: There's no point in criticizing the company any more. The game is up. They don't have a national television show. The people who like ECW are going to buy the pay-per-views as an alternative to the Big Two anyway. No one thinks it's the Big Three anymore. Heyman is catering to his audience while he builds up his roster and tries to strike a TV deal. Would it really hurt USA to give him an hour, by the way? Back to the point...I think it's time to just enjoy ECW for what it is, instead of getting Heyman to do the things that we wish WCW and the WWF could do. 1. Who blew the spot when Jericho moonsaulted off the second rope onto Perry Saturn? There are two school of thought on this topic; indeed, one says Perry and one says Chris. I guess time will tell. Oh come on, Jericho is the spot-blower! Perry trained with Tazz. He ran the fucking House of Hardcore! Come on, people! Back in a few...send me feedback at gould41@aol.com. Learn how to find the secret Cactus Jack interviews and Brian Pillman footage on the ECW DVDs! Next week! Aaah! Alex Carnevale [slash] wrestling Mail the Author Comment about this article on the EZBoard |
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