Let me say first that even though no one thinks Scott Steiner is going to the WWF right now, he will soon. In a year, the wrestling landscape will change and a star of Steiner's stature will mean a great deal. And I feel sorry for the people who think the pop of the fans in Cleveland will nab Steiner a roster spot, or that they have to get Goldberg now - if you think that, you're out of you're fucking minds. These are the same people saying Buff Bagwell is going to get a job. Vince laid it down on Nitro - if you pissed him off, you're fucked, and so be it. Vince can do whatever he wants, because this angle could draw money if it blew its own dick, and Vince has the whole thing.

Tazz & APA vs. Right to Censor

This angle blows in a big way, but with TV time about to be scarce, I think Vince will have Tazz kill over the Right to Censor once and for all. Maybe Tazz can do something permanent with the APA, because Bradshaw and Farooq are going nowhere, brutha. The match should be energetic, if nothing else. **, which is the current WM minimum. Tazz chokes Richards out for the submission, even if Stevie's not in the match. Hopefully, I never have to see the RTC again.

European Championship: Test vs. Eddie Guerrero

It's kind of depressing that they couldn't put together any angle for this one. No beatings of Test by the Radicals, nothing. Probably the best booking going into WM would have been to put Malenko in a non-title cage match with Test, and have Malenko work over the leg. Test makes the superman comeback, but the Radicalz come in and tie him in the ropes. They could have redone The Chairshot Heard Round the World spot in a nice ECW tribute. What a shame. Both guys should turn it up for Mania, and I could see this getting twelve minutes. Test wins convincingly and the match is ***.

Gimmick battle royal

I don't really know what to say about this, but it could be interesting, which is more than you can say for Chyna v. Ivory. Um, whoever wins this thing is probably in line for a job. It should be watchable and memorable, which is more than you can say for a lot of things. This was a good idea.

Women's Championship: Chyna vs. Ivory In all likelihood, this is the last hurrah for the women's belt, as its most interesting titleholder was Stephanie McMahon. Chyna is going over here, obviously, but she's winning the belt as well. There is no way in hell this match will be anything remotely good. I'm hoping for the Royal Rumble finish. ** maximum. Maybe they'll feel the incentive to turn it up after the women's No Way Out barnburner.

Hardcore Championship: Big Show vs. Kane vs. Raven

Raven's the current champion, and he will retain. We'll probably see Big Show v. Kane in some kind of a gimmick next month, because neither man lived up to their main event push. Besides RR '01, Kane hasn't been watchable in a long time. He got pretty good for awhile, but now he's his typical useless self. This should be fun. I'd put money that JR has Raven dressed to impress in what is most likely the biggest match of his career up to the point. If it's good, it's Raven, and it could be pretty good and not a joke. I'm a Big Show fan, so I'll enjoy this one no matter what. Scott Levy: are you ready to bump?

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

People seem pretty confident that this is already a bonafide match of the year candidate, but I'd be surprised if it's the third best match on the card. There's no real story here, and while I'm not against the simple booking, I think they'll save the best stuff for the rematch. I think they'll go to a draw here, because they didn't add the submission match stipulation. All hell will break loose on RAW, triggering Benoit & Jericho v. Team R/E/C/K. That should be fun stuff, and expect it after WM. In any case, I thought Benoit's previous submission effort with Jericho was ***1/4, but this one, with the bigger stage, will be a great deal better. ****1/4, but I don't see it going any higher than that this time around. If they don't go to a draw, Angle goes over to build heat for the rematch.

Intercontinental Championship: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

These guys have very complimentary styles, and if they mesh well - as they should - there's no reason that this won't be as fantastic as everyone thinks it could be. This is probably the biggest match of Regal's career up to the point, as he's received a blowjob-Lance Storm-like push without anything to show for. Fortunately, Regal, unlike Lance Storm, isn't an overrated piece of garbage. Now I don't want to get angry here, but YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE A WRESTLER JUST BECAUSE HE'S FROM FUCKING CANADA, YOU FUCKERS. HE HASN'T HAD ONE MATCH IN WCW OVER THREE FUCKING STARS. IN ECW HE HAD GOOD MATCHES WITH JERRY LYNN, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE JERRY IS A GREAT WORKER WHO CARRIED RVD TO GREAT MATCHES. HE TURNED IN A DUD FUCKING MATCH AT HIS LAST ECW EFFORT, AND HE BLOWS. When you can't carry Hugh Morrus or Ernest Miller to *** matches, something's wrong with you. Kanyon carried Miller, and Steiner of all people carried Morrus, so something might be wrong with you. Seriously, folks. As I was saying, Regal has the wrestling ability and if Monday Night Rawtro was any indication, he cuts a badass promo and he's funny as shit. His time is now, and it's time for Jericho to take his schtick to the WWF Title, where he belongs - not because of his workrate, but because he's the third most popular face in the company. He's also soon to be the second most popular face, when Austin turns heel. More on that later.

TLC II: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge & Christian

I'm pretty apathetic about the storyline, but at least they debuted the new guys to make it interesting. I can't remember who said it (maybe Eric S.) but the addition of Spike Dudley just made the Dudley Boyz a hell of a lot more interesting. This match should be great, as usual. I just hope we're done screwing HHH out of Match of the Year honors, that's all. They'll probably stick this in the middle of the show so it doesn't kill the crowd. This is the last match between these guys, so let's talk briefly about where everyone is going from this point on. E/C aren't winning, so let's put them out of the picture. There's going to do some more midcard stuff before the WWF breaks them up and pushes them, most likely in WCW, which is one advantage of that acquisition. The Dudleyz are a permanent tag team, and there's no point in having them lose the belts. What we'll see is that the Dudleyz will retain, because the Hardyz have already had their big title win at Unforgiven. It'll probably be a Dudleyz-Hardyz rematch down the line to facilitate the Hardy brothers break-up. At least we'll see Matt-Jeff wars in the summer of 2001. Match should be incredible.

Special referee: Mick Foley
Street Fight: Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

This is apparently what the months of stupid angles - including the ridiculous Stephanie turn and re-alliance with Trish and Linda's insanity have led to. If it took all that shit to get there, so be it. This could be the sleeper, as both guys have huge incentive to tear it up big time, and god knows they know how to do it. Vince hit ***+ in wars with Austin and HHH, likewise for Shane with Test and X-Pac. Vince will take the match, Shane will win the war. Foley will follow recent guest referee tradition and do nothing of note. Thanks for the continuity, though. ***1/2

Triple H vs. Undertaker

Someone recently said that although HHH has won on the past PPVs, he should go over. What are they putting in their arms? HHH is on an unprecedented streak of jobs. Before his win at No Way Out he lost at RR, he lost at Armageddon, he lost at SS, etc, etc. Anyway, HHH just had his moment, and the Undertaker is going over here. I know I'm making a risky call, but it's WM and the face should win. In addition, HHH just beat Austin, so he won't lose heat or anything. It's not going to be his summer anyway. Maybe they'll be able to turn him face for good. HHH also walked out with the title last Wrestlemania, he retired Foley before that, and he ain't ending Taker's streak. Match should be bomb-out awesome. Too bad they used the Cell at Armageddon, this would have been a classic usage of it. HHH will also be doing a fire-alarm blade job, so look forward to that. It's the Undertaker's last hurrah as well, so that's sad. All in all, this match could be pretty historic. I'll say ****, and it's the real sleeper. I know I'm going out on a limb there, but I just feel like they're going to go to the moon with this one, considering the way they've gone with the hype.

World Wrestling Federation Championship: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock

And now it's this match. Quite possible the worst promoted WrestleMania main event since Diesel v. Shawn Michaels, this match still has an aura about it. The promo was cool, and the match is going to be great. Perhaps even better is that there is a real question about the main. I'm working on a guess here, but I think that Austin is winning the belt here. I don't think you have the champ retain two years in a row. I don't think another summer Rock title reign is good business sense. I do think Austin as a heel or as a face will draw money this summer. It will also draw interest. He's got tons of potential challengers as a heel: Shawn Michaels, HHH, Rock, Jericho, Benoit. Those are money drawing angles. A lot of people feel that because the Rock has lost two of two WrestleMania WWF Title matches, he won't lose the third. I feel differently. The match, with an electric crowd that will blow the roof off the Astrodome, will be legendary. They've had time to put it together, and they will. Anything below ****3/4 would be a bit of disappointment, given the time they'll have at their disposal, and the history they'll live up to. Austin wins because the fans want the title change and they want to see all hell break loose on RAW. Hopefully Rock won't develop a Lex Luger thing where he always chokes in the big match. See why last year's WM booking was so destructive?

If this card lives up to half of what it could be with its focus on one-on-one matches, it could kick WrestleMania XIV's ass. That one was probably my favorite WM besides 10. This will trump last year's in its sleep, and odds on the card has three ****+ matches, with two of those that could be better, and a strong midcard. At least we know the face is going over.

Argue with me and I'll argue back. Wait up for the WM X-Seven rant come Monday morning.

Later.