10. WWF No Way Out review:

2/3 Falls: HHH v. Stone Cold Steve Austin

I give credit where credit was due. This was a hell of match, and I'm pleased and a bit shocked they went with the WrestleMania XV finish instead of the Wrestlemania 2000 finish. That's not quite accurate; what I mean is that both men kicked out of the other's finisher. Good ending to what is probably the match of the year so far. The fucker went forty minutes for chrissakes. Nice placement in the show as well.

WWF Title: The Rock v. Kurt Angle (c)

This was as good as No Mercy, probably around ***1/2, maybe a bit more. I don't know why they did the kickout of the opponent's finisher for the FOURTH time in the show, but the match was good.

Thumbs up for No Way Out, but the undercard was underwhelming at best. Double main saves it, as always.

9. NITRO-After last week's superb Nitro, it seems even clearer to me that they aren't trying to fix their problems. Not a good show at all, and a dreary RAW looked good in comparison. I don't know what's with all the interviews occurring to the RIGHT of the camera, but that should stop. I try to look on the bright side, i.e. the side that doesn't include Fat Dusty in a PPV match. Booker T v. Rick Steiner? Not something I'll pay for. And what's with the non-title matches ruining the PPV buildup? Shane Helms needs to learn how to sell. He's like The Rock for chrissakes; he has no respect for the maneuvers of his opponent. Again, Nitro was a bleh show, but the heat was pretty much on RAW this week anyway.

8. RAW IS WAR - Raw was a little better this week. I didn't see two much RTC, and the writers seem to have all gotten tattoos that say slow build. The whole Hardyz thing was well-done, the Debra thing was okay, I suppose, and Kurt Angle is giving us all what we wanted WHEN HE WAS WWF CHAMPION. I'd have to say the Paul E. thing goes down as a disappointment. If he's just going to do commentary, there's no real point in hyping his appearance. You need to deliver those ECW guys. If they are building to that, fine, but if not, no need to hype it. I thought Paul E. did a great job. RAW was the same show I've seen forever, but some nice stuff in between.

7. Title reigns: After The Rock won his sixth WWF Title, I wanted to whip out the book. Not so historic after all. Notice how The Rock and Bret Hart didn't get his heat by going over his precursors, whereas Austin and Shawn did. There are real parallels between those pairs of men. And just as there was Bret v. Shawn, there's Austin v. Rock. Except, I guess, that they like each other.

The Rock:
def Mick Foley, def Mick Foley, def Mick Foley, def HHH, def HHH, def Kurt Angle. Rock is a six-time WWF champion.
Bret Hart:
def Flair, def Yokozuna, def Diesel, def The Undertaker (FF match), def The Undertaker. Bret is a four-time WWF champ.
Shawn Michaels:
def Bret Hart, def Sid, def Bret Hart. Shawn is a three-time WWF champ.
Steve Austin:
def Shawn Michaels, def Kane, def The Undertaker, def The Rock. Steve Austin is a four-time WWF champ.

In short, Austin's going over at WM. And if another person suggests HHH v. Rock v. Austin, god help them. I have enough problems without HHH putting himself over at the expense of the biggest PPV in the world. Again.

6. Jerry Lawler leaves the WWF - most people I know are pretty sad he's gone, but I say good riddance. Lawler drops the credibility of the product with his lowbrow antics. He's been bush league and indyish his entire career. The only reason he was so popular is because he was able to shill heel and still be loved by the audience, much like Bobby Heenan and Jesse Ventura. I think Tazz should do Smackdown with good old MC. I thought Heyman was funny on RAW and he can only improve.

5. Match of the Week was most definitely the six-man from Nitro. I'd bet that half the people that said it was overrated (1) didn't even watch the fucking match or (2) loved Austin/Rock v. Angle/Benoit. I didn't do PBP, but I didn't bother to watch the stupid and useless Rock v. Austin angle ("Get ready" "Stay healthy" "Suck my dick" "You first") because the match was that good. The natural thing would be to bring back Stevie Ray to active wrestling or AT LEAST COMMENTARY.

4. One more thing about WCW: If they had just kept Benoit and given him the World Title, maybe it would have made the difference. ***** main events for MONTHS - maybe, just maybe, that would have saved WCW. As it is, when the Radicalz left, so did internet interest. I can't find anybody who is positive about WCW improvements; everyone is just gearing up for Austin v. Rock II.

3. You know the American indy scene is dead when I look forward to reading Cobo's Revolution Pro reports just to get a glimpse that something else is possible in this country. And may I say of Cobo's work that he is one of the top recappers fo the net. I know he stole the whole recapping non-PBP style for DVDVR, but I'm into anyway. I think Tens is great and I love the Rev Pro stuff, like I said. I wished I lived in California.

2. I love how they are calling Justin Credible implant DDT That's Incredible. This made me think about the dearth of finishing moves in the WWF. Half the roster uses a neckbreaker or DDT variation, and the only cool ones are the Stunner and Regal's Whiplash neckbreaker. The dragon suplex and the tiger suplex are right there. Somebody could use them. I keep waiting for someone in WCW to do a "sit-out" neckbreaker of a "sit-out" DDT.

1. HHH v. Jericho at WM. That's the way they should go with this one.

Kurt before the match: "Oh my God, Did you steal my tee-shirt and sell it to buy Tequila?"

Essa Rios v. Kid Romeo (um, last week). Kid tries a quick rollup, but Essa gives him a spinning wheel kick. Kid Romeo turns the tide, and he looks really good. The sideways slap leads to a monkey flip, until Kid gives him a drop toehold out of the ring. Essa superkicks him on the outside, and rolls him back in. It gets two. Sleeper, but Romeo jawbreakers out and and hits Kwee Wee's finisher - I won't bother to describe it - for two. Rey Mysterio-bulldog out of ocean suplex attempt gets two. Romeo plays to the crowd. Romeo goes to the top but gets crotched, and hits the iconoclasm (quite possibly the most overrated maneuver of all time) and the moonsault for the win. * Romeo has no distinctive ring style whatsoever, a sure sign of a jobber for life. Match was decent, but too short to be anything worthwhile.

After watching Romeo's debut match on Nitro, it was pleasant to see he's gone to the Buff Bagwell school of character. Although I was pleased by the powerslam to the floor, I already know who is carrying that team, and it's Skipper.

Say what you want about ECW, they've always been able to make their titles mean something. This match has a reputation, and it has it for a reason. This is probably my favorite ECW match. I never really got anything out of any of the Rey v. Psicosis matches except for 2/3 Falls, but I like this one better on a very subjective level.

The story of this match is that Scorpio is dominant over Jericho, who is the champion, while Shane fears Pitbull #2 and thus won't tag in to fight him. Jericho and Scorpio roll around for awhile with some quote-unquote mat wrestling, and then Scorpio rolls out. Shane teases getting in the ring, but Pitbull 2 kicked his ass before the match, so the crowd knows he's bullshitting. They do a sequence that ends in a Scorpio dropkick. Scorp does a standing somersault legdrop. Show-off. Jericho hits a double-underhook powerbomb for two, and then locks on an octopus-type move. That's not out of place or anything. Neither guy is doing a very good job of reigning in the other's spotty tendencies. Chopfest, and Scorp hits a spinkick and tags Shane "The Opportunist" Douglas in. He tries a suplex but gets suplexed. Jericho works Shane over, pulling out that cool leg rollup that I wish he would still do. He hits a springboard whatever. He takes Shane to the turnbuckle at least 15 times. Jericho has even more muscle on his small frame then he does today. Chops in the corner erupt. Superkick and second rope moonsault get two, and Jericho is blown up. He tags Pitbull 2, and Franchise runs away, so now we have Scorpio and PB 2. Big PUSSY chant, showing you how over Shane was as a heel. PB 2 walks in to the match BLEEDING from being hit by Shane pre-match and wiping a razor across his forehead to generate blood. He's hardcore, I guess. I like watching PB 2 for some reason. He press-slams Scorp, but Scorp reverses to sunset flip. He then press-slams him successfully. Scorp tries a rana but PB 2 powerbombs him. Scorp sells for NO ONE. Scorp's penis alone gets two. Scorpio pulls out a nice spot, bodyscissoring Pitbull 2 outside into the guardrail. Scorp kicks PB 2 in the face, running off the ring apron and smashes his face against a chair. Scorp does a nice job working both styles. Scorp with a running knee, and, he tags in Shane, who is delighted to work Pitbull 2 over. Belly-to-back gets two. Tag to Jericho, who kicks Pitbull 2 around and then takes Pitbull 2's comeback for Shane. Powerslam gets two. Jericho hits a spinning wheel kick and a kickass german suplex for two. I think the reason I like Pitbull a lot is because I only see him in matches with talented workers, and he is always willing to sell for them - to a point. I respect that. Pitbull 2 gets a ranabomb, and Scorp comes in. He goes to the very top but takes a SUPER huracanrana to the mat. Sweet. Franchise tags Jericho, who is making the cover, and tries to pin Scorp but that only gets two. Scorpio begins destroying Shane, with punches in and outside the ring. Shane does his usual great sell job. He slams him on a chair, and for some reason Shane actually has dirt on him now. His tights and legs are covered in a mud-like substance. Shane takes a bulldog on a standing chair for two. Pitbull gets the tag, but Shane runs away. Rollup by Jericho gets two on Pitbull. PB reverses a slam for two when Jericho's knee collapses. Pitbull #2 administers the beating we all knew he could. Powerbomb gets two. Scorp in, and he sells for NO ONE. Butterfly suplex, but Jericho rolls out of the ring. Cue brawl. Scorpio has not sold one move besides that super rana in the match. Jericho hits a DDT and tries to tag out, but Shane won't accept it. Pitbull 2 comes in and fallaway overhead suplexes Scorp hard off the top rope. Shane tags Scorp, who is down, and works Pitbull 2 over on the outside. Plancha by Jericho and then another one by Scorp and his big penis. Scorp takes Jericho down, and they brawl into the crowd. Shane crotches PB 2 on the railing. They pair off and fight simultaneously. Franchise bulldogs PB 2 on a chair for two. Shane tries to tag 2 Cold Scorpio, but he won't tag, and Pitbull 2 will not sell. Pitbull kills Shane, and Jericho gives him a whompass dropkick form the top rope. They fight over the pin and don't get it. Jericho hits a double-axehandle and a drop kick, but Shane gets his foot on the rope. Now we get Jericho-Shane, and it's really good. Jericho works over Shane's leg, and get s figure four. When has he ever used that move? God, I love it when Shane sells. It's no Ohtani, but it's great to see. Jericho lets go, and then tries it again. Tag to Scorp, and a fisherman's buster turns the tide. Scorp, of course, just gets up and tombstones Jericho, and it's a motherfucker. After requisite beating, a badly missed Tumbleweed eliminates Chris Jericho clean at twenty-seven minutes. What a marathon. Shane then tags in and tries to shake Scorp's hand. Scorp kicks Shane's ass in response. Scorp whips out an abdominal stretch for no discernible reason, and the crowd chants PUSSY. Towards Shane - did you think anyone would call Scorp and his gigantic gentalia a PUSSY? I think not. It occurs to me that Shane really could have made the whole Sable-Marc Mero thing work, if he had been in Marc Mero's position. He's a great ratfuck heel. Shane hits the belly-to-belly, and goes to the top (!) but Scorpio steps up and hits a sunset flip powerbomb for a two count. He then goes over to PB 2 and superkicks HIM. He stacks both men on top of each other, and goes for the moonsault to finish, but they both move out of the way. Shane hits a DDT to turn the tide, and asks PB 2 if he'll hit the superbomb to eliminate the invincible Scorpio. Good storyline, if pretty simple. Shane sets Scorp up, and the Pitbull KILLS HIM FUCKING DEAD at 31 minutes. Down to the real feud now, and the match totally changes. I mean, even the color of the mat seems different. Shane goes after the Pitbull. Pitbull 2 could have gotten over with that gimmick anywhere. PB 2 destroys Shane. In the ring, PB 2 powerbombs Shane on two chairs, but doesn't go for the pin. Shane is DEAD. Table in the ring (oh God) and PB #2 eats a belly-to-belly, but Francine distracts the ref. Franchise kisses Francine. Ref bump, and Francine turns on the Pitbulls by hitting him while he has Shane-O in a press slam. Francine then reveals she has Franchise tights on. Cue the superman comeback! PB 2 gets a lariat and clotheslines Shane out of the ring. PB 1 sets up the superbomb on Francine. This was crazy in '96, whereas today it's a weekly feature of Federation television. Francine takes the blow through the table, PB 2 doesn't even put his legs out for her. Shane takes down PB 1 by hitting his injured shoulder, and then he hits a belt shot for two. Piece of table gets two. Knux get two. I guess wrestling is out of the question. Chairshot gets two, but PB 2 no-sells. PB 2 takes a huge bump on a blind charge, and the Franchise hits the belly-to-belly for three. Can't say I like the ending, but the first thirty minutes rocked. We'll go ****3/4 for the beginning, and minus a bit for the end. The match is basically two parts. ****1/4 for the whole thing. What a Scorpio showcase that was, though. Quite the marathon, and beats the shit out of X-Pac v. Benoit v. Jericho v. Guerrero at No Way Out. ****1/4, my ass. This led to a horrible match between Pitbull #2 and The Franchise Shane Douglas with basically the same ending.

Tommorrow or Thursday keep your head up for a new Being the Booker, in which I attempt to book the WWF through WM next year. I don't go through every RAW and Smackdown, and I'll try not to make any references to the density or moisture in any of the wrestler's hair. I also won't be run offline by a bunch of assholes. You know who you fuckers are. Jeff Jacobsen had one AIM conversation with Scott Keith and in my book that makes him legitimate. So what if he can't spell, or write in complete sentences, or even make coherent sense? What the fuck is a Shooter? I don't know. Bastards.

I will now take my leave of you.