|
/wrestling /guests /Carlin |
|
|
/wrestling /guests /Carlin |
| Guest Columns | Chuck Carlin |
MainBLAH |
ERIC BISCHOFF'S THOUGHT PROCESS LAST MONDAY NIGHT "Well, there sure seems to be a lot of bad blood in the locker room. I wonder why? I'll go ask Hogan... "Hogan tells me that the little younger wrestlers are causing a ruckus. So it MUST be their fault. "I know, I'll give them all an ultimatum. It will be shut up, or leave. That'll shut them up, because no one WANTS to leave. "Actually, why don't I ask some of the young guys that have problems what their problems are and try to work them out first, then they'll all respect me. "Nah, too much work. "So I'll hold a meeting tonight and give them that ultimatum. This'll be great. It will establish my power again. Where's my hair dye?" Meeting "Oops. I didn't think they'd leave. Ah well, it's just Raven, he's stupid anyway. Hey, wait, you guys can't leave too. I need to stop this. Ok, no one can go to WWF. Ya, that'll keep them in. Whew. I sure did a good job tonight. Well, time to watch my tape of Raw." Sorry, I just had to channel Eric through me for a while. Now you may have some news. WWF.com has a really great bio section on their site, and it even has a bio on the Brooklyn Brawler, the originator of the "I've got a Y in my name, and it's not at the end of a word" gimick that seems to be so popular these days. Stout beer sucks. Even if your best friend tells you it doesn't, it still does. Even if it's Sam Adams, and it has chocolate in it. And EVERYONE loves chocolate. I would like to thank Steve Sheffron for getting back to me concerningy recent request for a copy of Friday Night's Main Event from Feb. of '88. I can't wait to see it again. Ahhh, memories....... This bit of reader mail came from fellow [slash] columnist Lief Erik Watts: As far as the Attitude cheats and finishers, its my opinion that anyone who can't figure the finishers out, seeing how they're on the moves lists, doesn't deserve to use them. =) The real point in my writing is to say that while the manual and all other sources says you need to be in Med. or Hard to get the cheats, I beat the game on Easy and unlocked everything. Weird, eh? Is it just me or is the ending of the career mode really weak in comparison to the hours you spend in order to get there? I mean, at least let my guy hold up the belt or something. Sheesh. So it looks like the original DX is back together again. Gee, it's good to be together again. But I noticed that Shane is with them. But Shane's a wienie. Sure, he's a wienie that takes insane Hardy Boys+Mick Foley bumps, but a wienie nonetheless. I wonder what happened to the Blonde Bytch Project. I think I'll ask Lucas. Oh Luuuucas... First, Lucas says that the new Heat this Sunday will feature a package (tee-hee) from last year's KOR Hell in a Cell match with brand new interviews from Mankind, Undertaker (I wonder if he'll be in character or out), Austin, and Rock (?). Well, if that's the new format of the show, it might just be worth keeping. Kinda like a history lesson. It will be interesting to see how deep they go into WWF history. Blonde Bytch is being re-edited for later on. O...k..... And lastly, Lucas is a really big dork. I'm after your job Lucas! You'll never be free from my tyranny! Every time you try to report something, BAM I'm there with a chair. Every time you go on Byte This, BAM, I run in and chokeslam you! And I'll do it every day until I get my shot! Every time I take a poop, every time I feed my cat, it's another victory for me, and you can't stop me! I've gone 328-0 in just a week! I'm ruler of the world! Cower before me Lucas! Also, Jericho premiered his Liontamer elevated crab, and our boys didn't know what to call it. Pay attention, you're the announcers! Your supposed to tell us what to think! On a side note, at SummerSlam, Jericho gave his interview from atop the Lion's Den. The LION'S DEN. For LIONHEART. GET IT? It's a theme! I'm looking forward to next Monday's Raw in Hartford that I shall be attending. Look for a sign that says something funny being held by a guy wearing a shirt. That's me. I'll be that guy. And since they're not showing Raw until 11 that night, if I drive home REALLY fast, I'll get to see it again, the same night. Let's see, 48 miles in 10 minutes... It's really easy to make The Ugandan Giant, Kamala in the new Attitude game, since the programmers were so nice as to include his face and body paint in the create a character section. I just gave him neat moves like "Choke", "Choke with Boot", "Side Headlock", and "Bearhug" to give him that real authentic Kamala feel. Now I can relive that classic Undertaker/ Kamala feud! Yipee! Throw in the Godfather in a top hat for real fun! I was disappointed at the lack of a hairy "Giant Gonzales" body suit though. That would have made a classic four-way. X-Pac seemed to have quit on Kane last Thursday night, so we'll see where this goes. I for one want to see Kane get REALLY pissed, take out Big Show AND Taker to start a re-push, then take a run for the gold leading up to Royal Rumble. And for all that is sacred, STOP making Kane speak! It's real easy to make fans forget about some character traits and angles, but not lack of vocal ability cause by a childhood fire. Kane doesn't need personality, he's done fine as a silent, unstoppable machine (take note Steve Blackman). Please don't kill him the way The Ministry almost killed The Undertaker. More later, once I get some more news and/or opinions. Chuck Carlin Master of the Floatover DDT for [slash] wrestling Mail the Author Visit my happy little funland |
.. |
Main |
||