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/wrestling /guests /Carlin |
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/wrestling /guests /Carlin |
| Guest Columns | Chuck Carlin |
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WWF + ICE CREAM First off, I'd like to address the ending to Smackdown last week where someone in a "semi" plowed into the ambulance that was taking HHH away. Now we are all left to wonder: who was the driver of the semi? I assume that this will turn into a huge angle for WWF. As I'm sure everyone has heard by now, Uncle Eric Bischoff was recently let go from his position as President of WCW, and will no longer be in charge of the day to day activities. This was apparently because Eric kept on getting all these prank calls from wrestling "fans" at his office, and it was jamming up the Turner/CNN main phone lines, especially the Cat-Bo line. This of course left Turner very upset, and thus resulted in Mr. Bischoff's... uh... letting go. For those of you that are right now looking for my email address at the bottom of the page, don't worry, I made up those last two things. A quick correction to Mick Foley, CRZ, and many readers, Harvard is in Boston, Yale is in New Haven, and NOTHING is in Hartford. (Apologies to my friend Jed who goes to the University of Hartford.) Do my eyes deceive me? Did Sting just turn on Hogan to quickly become my favorite wrestler ever? The WWF sent their correspondent to the MTV music awards to get exclusive footage for wwf.com, and that's just what she did. Now you can go to their site and watch lots of exclusive videos, and see lots of pictures of today's top stars, such as Britney Spears, Puff Daddy, and N' Sync, as they quickly walk by the WWF correspondent on their way into the building. In some pictures, the stars are actually facing the camera, but they usually have Steve Austin with them. Target stores are gearing up for the release of the new wave of WWF action figures that come with a sensory chip that activates when near a "Titan Tron". Its called Tron Technology. These figures will, of course, look absolutely nothing at all like the wrestlers they are supposed to represent, as in this picture of the Road Dogg figure. Just keep in mind that those first two things up there were THE ONLY made up pieces of news in this here report. The rest of it is truth. And you know what they say about truth. And ice cream. If you combine them, you get Truth a la mode. In the drop to your knees and pray for Nitro department, it has been announced that Nitro will begin airing an animated feature on Nitro staring three wrestling fans called "Chowdaheads." Of course, it will be produced by Jason Hervey. I SWEAR I'm not making this up. I'm not that imaginative. Maybe with Bischoff gone, his replacement, Bill "Head For The Mountains" Busch will kill it before it hits the airwaves. Please. The GvsE episode with Mick Foley in it will be airing on Oct 10th. >From what I've heard, Mick plays either himself or Mankind. Will this prove to be as good as the Pacific Blue with Sable? We'll just have to wait and see. Saw/heard two side of our friend Steve Austin this week. On Thursday, at the MTV awards, he badly phoned in his appearance with a halfhearted delivery of horribly written, nonsensical lines. "Some of my favorite bands such as Kiss and Van Halen have played at the MTV awards in the past. And now here's Jay Z." Whatever. Then the next morning, I woke up to his interview with Howard Stern (it's the only station my clock radio gets) where he sounded very friendly and candid, talking about his divorce, and Debra, and beer. Remember when Stern asked Paul Wight how big his "Big Unit" was right after WM 15? I do. So did Val Venis, I guess. In breaking news, I have not yet been able to meet Stephanie McMahon in Stamford or Greenwich. Maybe that's because I haven't gone there yet. But rest assured, I will find her. And when I do, I will say to her, ".......uh......so...............I think you're really cool." Ya, works every time. This quote comes straight from The Ross Report at wwf.com. "Expect the Federation to announce the signing of another top competitor very soon. This one even surprised J.R." Uh, ok. I hope its Sid! A little while back, I offered an open invitation to book Raw/Nitro in a humorous manner, and maybe it would get printed. Well, here's the best one I got. If you don't like it, maybe YOU should have sent one in. From Robert J. Cameron: Austin v. Goldberg in a Haircut Match Christopher Reeve v. Stephen Hawking in an I'm-a-sick-bastard match. Guest referee Helen Keller (who has the sensory perception of an average Referee). "Ho, Superman blindsides Hawking with the breathing tube!! You know that's gotta hurt! Wait a minute, Hawking is gesturing towards his voice synthesizer..oh, no, that was just a spasm." One last thing, a few people asked, so I decided to make an archive for my columns here at [slash]. Here it is: Chuck's [slash] Column Archive. I pity anyone who isn't clever enough to figure out my (apparently) DIABOLICALLY CLEVER numbering scheme and has to visit this page. In fact, I'll have to find a way to make fun of you. Oh, sorry, back to Chuck's column. Later, Chuck Carlin Master of the floatover DDT for [slash] wrestling Mail the Author Visit my happy little funland |
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