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Eddie Burkett

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EDDIE-torial

Vince is not a Genius

I need to my own promotion to run, because - dammit! - I get all these good ideas in my head, and then the WWF just doesn't follow through.

For the record, Ron Kuby is still on sabbatical, I am back from my sabbatical, and I still feel alone, but that's only because there's no one sitting near me as I type this.

Anyway, going into Summerslam, anyone who remembers my last two columns knows I've been gunning for HHH (forever known simply as 'H' from now until I forget I made this designation) to beat the hell out of Austin and win the title. And if things hadn't changed with that whole #1 contender crap, I would have, but for whatever reason (Austin's being a prick, Austin's seriously injured - it really doesn't matter as far as the storylines are concerned!) Chyna pinned H, and Mankind pinned Chyna, and Mankind and H pinned H and Mankind. Then Mankind pinned Austin, and H pinned Mankind. And I got pinned, er, pissed in the process.

Now, if the WWF is going to start doing seat of the pants booking in an emergency, that's fine. But I feel that they dropped the ball on a few issues here, and I don't think they've adequately made up for it.

First, it all went downhill when Chyna pinned H. I liked the way they did it, and it seemed like it had been a predetermined way to cost H his #1 contender shot. Someone hit Austin on the head, framed H, and stole his spot. Someone felt that Austin needed protection from H. Someone knew that either Austin was injured or that H indeed had his number, and someone wanted to help Austin retain his title. Perhaps Austin was in on it, although with his DTA attitude, it would be unlikely. So who would watch over Austin and even go so far as to hurt him for the sake of protecting his championship run? Simple: IT DOESN'T MATTER! I'm sure that the trouble maker who clobbered Austin on the head is the same nemesis who raised the briefcase at KotR, and I'm sure this troublemaker will bother Austin in other ways, before presenting himself to him only to get stunned for the trouble, but since he has nothing to do with what's currently going on in the WWF, it doesn't matter.

Instead of presenting a conspiracy to keep Austin the champ, H starts to seem paranoid and accuse everyone else of a conspiracy to hold him down. This could work, if it were actually there. Instead of Chyna, Michaels, and Mankind all uniting to show that they are in collusion, cohesion, and cahoots, we get a Chyna who goes right back to her man when he had treated her poorly just hours before (that girl has self esteem problems...), a commissioner who is nothing more than a face commissioner, and has no real personal motivation behind his actions, and Mankind, who I won't fault cuz, heck, I like him. H goes on to accuse Jim Ross of spearheading this attempt to hold him down, and pisses everyone off by breaking his arm. (I guess this is a case, much like when Titan figured Jarrett would get heel heat by breaking Road Dogg's voice box so the fans couldn't chant along, if H busts up JR so we get stuck with Michael Kole, then he'll get heel heat. Maybe if Chyna started offering to take off her shirt, and H told her not to, then the crowd would really turn on him. A complete opposite from the degenerate who would climb the turnbuckle and point to random busts in the audience hoping to get them to flash him.) H whines, gets his title shot, and beats the hell out of the Rock and Mick Foley for the win.

By the by, did anyone else notice that H won his first title reign from Mankind the same way Mankind won his first reign from the Rock? And of course, it was H who handed Shane over to Mankind after beating him in their Royal Rumble qualifier match, only for Mankind for force Vince to grant the shot. Now H comes down, and takes the hostage for himself, to force Mankind to drop the belt. I guess he learned. Really, this is the only sense of continuity The Entity Formerly Known As Titan (TEFKAT) has demonstrated throughout this whole episode.

But my main problem with all of this is that the Raw right before Summerslam, instead of building up a feud between Austin and his #1 contender, was spent trying to figure out who that contender would be. I'm sure I'm not the only one who got annoyed with the announcement that "THIS match will be the match to ABSOLUTELY determine the #1 contender," for what felt like the 500th time. If they knew going into the 8/9 Raw that they were going to go with a Triple Threat Match (and I don't think the WWF would wait until the day of a taped Raw to decide the outcome of that night's show.), why couldn't they just have had Mankind be the surprise third participant in the match, and have a disputed ending to lead to a compromise there. (And heck, given that the Rock was recently involved in the whole #1 contender issue, I think a Four Corners match between H, Mankind, the Rock, and the Undertaker would have been a fine way to try to resolve this, with H and Mankind pinning each other at the end to leave issues unresolved.) At least this way we could have had a nice feud build with Austin, Mankind, and H all pissed at each other, instead of it seeming like Mankind vs. H with Austin involved for the title. Also, this would have eliminated the Chyna as #1 contender issue, which, although a nice play for Chyna, really made her look stupid. Only a week after battling H to keep her #1 contendership, she's right back to fighting at his side, and cheering his victory with him. What happened to all that tension between them?

I guess what I'm getting at is that H should have won the title from Austin at Summerslam. Barring that, I think he should have won it from Mankind at Unforgiven, and not on Monday's Raw. (I think it was Rick Scaia who said that a month of a seething Triple H would have made for good television.) I also think that Michaels should have been involved in a conspiracy to either help Austin hold the belt, or hold H down. And I think Chyna should never have feuded with H if she was just going to go back to him in the end. H won the title on Raw, and it seems like he doesn't deserve it. Like it still isn't quite his time. Why couldn't they wait a few weeks and make us feel that it is his time. Turn him face and establish a conspiracy against him trying to hold him down, which he continues to overcome, much like Austin v. McMahon. It could be HHH v. Michaels, and it could culminate in one last match for Michaels where he could win the belt back from HHH, only to vacate the belt and retire for good; a much better way to go out than to give Austin his first title reign in the era of the Rattlesnake. Say this happens at Armageddon, with the title vacated for a special Royal Rumble. The last two men left in the Rumble are declared the #1 contenders, and face each other at a very special Wrestlemania. Then Austin and H could win the rumble, face each other at WM, and Austin could beat H to pay him back for Summerslam, and everyone goes home happy.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I should book my own federation.

Eddie Championship Wrestling... Are those letters taken?

Eddie Burkett
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