Welcome once again to The Column. I'd like to start this off with a special public service announcement.

Just say no to chops. Every day, dozens of wrestlers fall victim to peer pressure and use the Chops of Doom, made famous by superstars such as Ric Flair. Now, we at [slash] wrestling can understand the need many of you may feel to chop, and we can understand the pressure involved with performing in front of thousands of fans.

But please, say no to chops. Chops are actually classified as a "gateway offensive maneuver," due to the fact that the distribution and collection of these chops often lead to more complex forms of offense, such as technical wrestling or a generally higher workrate. However, after repeated use of chops, the surge of euphoria, or "pop," experienced from more common maneuvers such as punches, elbows, and forearms, may no longer be up to par with the "pops" received when a string of stiff chops is handed out. Wrestlers may take this to the logical extreme, executing more complex and dangerous maneuvers, seeking out bigger and bigger "pops," leading to injuries and possibly even missed shows.

And that's a true tragedy.

I was kinda surprised last Friday by ECW on TNN. The lighting was really bright--for a few seconds, I thought it was an outdoor arena and an afternoon taping. Something to note: TNN interrupted the climax of the main event by throwing it into a little box and cutting the audio to blare a big plug on their Arena Football deal. I figure that a nice little crawl on the bottom of the screen would do just as well in letting all of us know what we were going to miss. Yeah, I'm sure that was an accident. Oh yeah, and Jerry Lynn needs a better push than what he has now. Lynn rocks, plain and simple.

In WWF land, I'm really happy about the KoR. There are a bunch of cool situations that could arise from this, assuming that the heels will win the main event. Triple H versus the tourney champion. My favorite picks for the KoR this year are then:

Chris Benoit--Triple H versus his old hired gun, except Benoit values the gold more than the money. Ooh, this could be good, and even better when Benoit smashes H³ to become a titleholder and main eventer.

Chris Jericho--The rematch from the rematch for the match that never happened. Yes, that actually does make sense after saying it 3-5 times. Jericho is titleworthy--we all know this. Once again, easy way to get to the top. Better yet, if Jericho/Benoit wrestled to a draw in the finals, a Triple Threat match that puts BOTH Canadians in the main event. Yesss...

Kurt Angle--This could be a decent time to put Kurt at the top of the ladder. And there'd also be a nice "Steph must choose" angle or something going in. Convenient.

I think Jerry Lynn seems out of place in ECW. He's a great wrestler, but I think he'd be put to better use with less table spots and more long matches with good opponents. That thing he had with Justin Credible wasn't that great for me.

Battle of the Internet Deities--Benoit vs. Foley. Both are great workers, both have (as far as I know) little in the way of rampaging egos. Benoit is an excellent technical wrestler, and makes for a good brawler. Foley is an excellent brawler, and though he is reputed to have technical skills, they didn't see much use in the WWF. Both take stiff work, though I haven't seen Benoit take the sick bumps Foley has. Foley cuts the better promo. All the intensity in the universe is no match for "Did I just get my ass kicked by the Mean Street Posse?"

Problem with Russo's "I'm a New York tough" routine. Remember back when Too Cool was a quasi-heel team? They called themselves Too Cool. As they gradually went face, they stopped spouting it and let the announcers put them over. Either way, no one bought it 'til they were faces. I could call myself an international sex symbol, but it means exactly squat unless I can get some people to agree with me--preferably some females. Especially import models.

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