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Heather Birkett

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IN THE ZONE

Well, well, well, Its me. That's right its Heather and I am back for another edition of In The Zone. I am not happy this week so to hell with hitting my music just cut the damn crap off. Were do I begin. Well first off let me talk about the PTC and that idiot that runs the joint. First off this isn't Germany its not 1940 and he isn't the Gestapo so I will be damned if somebody is going to dictate me. Side note: No disrespect meant there at all just trying to get a point a crossed. Point being that last time I read the constitution there was still a first amendment there. Am I wrong? Well hell that gives me the right to express my opinion. And if happen to enjoy wrestling I don't want some guy, who thinks he knows what good for me, telling me what to watch. Because I got some news for you. If the PTC succeeds and gets the WWF off the air, it isn't gonna stop there. No way, you might as well say bye bye to ECW and The WCW also lets think what this is going to do to the people that work for Titan. I am not just talking about the wrestlers but the other people to. He is sitting on his high horse talking about taking away people's livelihood. He needs to be stopped and I urge you all to write a letter to each and every one of the remaining WWF sponsors and let them know how much wrestling means to you. I know all you die-hard wrestling fans love it for a reason and I am not talking about the Hot guys and the puppies. I am talking about raw emotion here because to be quite honest we as women or men can get that elsewhere. There is another reason why we all watch it and love it. So get you favorite stationary and your favorite pen and get to writing.

Enough of that crap, I am sick and tired of hearing about the PTC. They make me ill. On to bigger and well almost better things. I myself caught the first hour of Nitro and to be quite honest I enjoyed it. Could have done without Schivone, but then again so could everybody. I actually laughed at Chavo and he horrible impression as an interviewer and the matches weren't that bad either. Just one thing where was Bret during the only hour I catch of Nitro? Very upsetting news.

On to Raw, well I actually thought that they were going screw this one up but much to my enjoyment they didn't. We had great matches the whole night. Overall a very impressive Raw. Probably the best one in weeks. I just wanna comment on a few things then I will get to my thoughts on the wedding.

The first match of the night was the Big Show/Kane vs Bossman/Viscera. This match had the potential to be an incredible match. But no it wasn't. We had the oppurtunity to finally see the Bossman get what he so rightly deserves and again we are screwed out of that. At least in my view.

I enjoyed the Matt hardy/Edge match. Lots of high flying moves from both guys.

Again Chris Jericho steals the first hour with an incredible job on the mic. I am enjoying his feud with Chyna and I for one can't wait to see this match at Armageddon. Should prove interesting. If Jericho performs the way he did at Survivor series he better win the damn title.

I need to bring you guys back to Smackdown last Thursday and remark on one thing that Roaddogg in the ring. At first I didn't believe Rebecca when she told me but I will be damned if Roaddogg didn't do a moonsault. How great is that.

Back to Raw,

This whole "I hate the Rock" by Al Snow has great potential and I for one can't wait till the situation erupts.

Carlos the Electrician can fix my lights anytime..LOL

The match of the night had to be the Test vs HHH match. This was a great match and I give a lot of credit to Test. He look awesome out there. Who was the ref, my guess would be Vince but then that would be to obvious but HHH seemed to know who it was and he got the ultimate revenge later in the night. More on that in a minute.

Who the Hell is this Barbara Bush thing,. I felt bad for her, the poor girl couldn't adlib for anything. Michael Cole couldn't even save her and he was trying. Thank the lord Ivory came down and save the interview. Who ever Barbara really is she look scared out of wits to be in front of a camera. It was her first attempt to be on a microphone and she was with Michael so I will cut her break. From what I hear she was pretty active in the Independent scene and she is a great wrestler.

The last match of the night pitted the Outlaws with Xpac against the Rock and Sock Connection with Kane. Now I knew that this match wouldn't have a clean ending if the world depended on it. Of course I was right. It was great action but Mick Foley was right the Crowd was actually kinda dead until the Rock was tagged in. Of course Al was watching in the back and before the Rock was tagged Mick was in some trouble. So Al to the rescue? Well, kinda, sorta ok not really. He cost the Rock and Sock connection the match, causing the Rock to perform the most electrifying move in sports entertainment today, The people's elbows. Maybe I am just jumping to conclusions but look for this little spat to erupt into something possibly by Raw next week.

Now the moment you have all been waiting for, My thoughts on this excellent wedding. Of course what I predicted and what happen where two totally different things. But hey it all worked out. More on that in a minute. I thought I was going to fall out when I saw Matt Hardy in that tux. The thoughts that were running through my head....well lets not go there okay. Anyway the flowers alone for this "wedding" had to cost a fortune. I wish I had that much money to throw around. Back to the wedding. Sorry about the tangent, I seem to go off on them sometimes. I knew how fake this wedding was as soon as I heard Tests entrance music being played. How cheesy was that? The singers had to go also...maybe they were nervous. Anyway I knew that this wedding wouldn't have gone off without a hitch so when the priest (or pastor, or whatever) said "if anyone knows of any reason why these' Oh you get the picture, I was half expecting to hear the Undertakers music. But no we hear HHH's. So there I am thinking to myself, what the hell has DX gone and done know. Well I would soon find out and to honest was loving every minute of it. Kinda of reminds me of Days of our Lives. If anyone watches it they know what I mean the whole Austin/Sami/Carrie wedding last year. Funny stuff. Back to my point. I knew he had to have only the best to interrupt the Wedding of the century. I feel it may have been the best way for someone not to get married. Legally she couldn't get married to Test if she was already married to HHH. Genius, pure F***** genius.

BTW, I would have paid a million dollars to be the one sitting next to HHH in that car. Hell I would have been yelling HELL YEAH the whole way down the tunnel of love.

That's it kiddies

Until next time

Keep it Real

Heather
Webmistress, the World's Most Dangerous Abs

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Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission