ECW Retro TV

27.12.94

December 27, 1994. A day that held no major significance; except for a certain ECW Television show that was aired today. Was the show significant? No, not really. It was merely

EXTREME!

Oops. 

The start is Joey Styles is in the Eagle's Nest.

Jason joins Joey in the Nest, and he announces his challenge to the Bad Breed: A match between his Pitbulls and the Bad Breed, where the losing team breaks up. Forever. Jason says that because he and the Pitbulls are so confident of victory, they aren't worried at all. To show them how they're ready, they cut to this GREAT (for all the wrong reasons) vignette:

Slutty (ugly-ass) girls in black leather warn us about going into this junkyard in Sable-like tones. The Pitbulls are found on top of cars, snapping chains on car doors. INCREDIBLY cheesy. Hilarious.

STOP AND VIEW a commercial featuring ICOPRO! Feel the RAW Memories! Go read a 1994 RAW report from CRZ! Lex! Lex!

Whew...

We cut back to clips of Stevie Flamingo from last week. Apparently, now, Stevie is saying that Johnny Polo is the lead roadie for Stone Temple Pilots. Now, as I write this, I'm listening to Raven's interview on Meltzer. Surreal. He's also discussing one of my favorite matches, Raven/Richards vs. Pitbulls Double Dog Collar, which allowed Raven to take the 2nd most insane bump in ECW history. More on that when we get to it (10/95, only 9 more months to go!). The #1 most insane bump in ECW history? More on that at the bottom. Anyway, Steve is now "Stevie the Body".

We're going to see:

Stevie the Body vs. J.T. Smith

Stevie with punches to start, and a whip, but J.T. counters with a back elbow. A very nice dropkick takes Stevie to the floor. Brawling, but J.T. knocks Stevie out of the ring. Back in, Stevie controls off of a tieup. J.T. counters with more back elbows, and a suplex for 2. J.T. with a snapmare and three consecutive legdrops for 2. Stevie out of the ring again. J.T. flips him in, and hits a rear chinlock. Stevie gets the ropes off of a chinlock. J.T. misses a roundhouse kick badly, but Stevie sells it anyway. An ugly spin kick puts Stevie in the corner. A German suplex attempt, but Stevie hangs on using the ropes, and then kicks him in the balls. A running flying forearm (images of Joe Gomez flash into my mind) get 2. "You still suck" chant rings out. Stevie whip, but J.T. holds onto the ropes. Cover gets 2. Another rear chinlock. J.T. whips Stevie into the corner. Chops from J.T. Stevie on the 2nd rope, they fight over a superplex, but J.T. just says "Fuck it" (not literally) and dropkicks Stevie in the usual nice-looking way. J.T. then does a standard dropkick onto a crotched Stevie, who falls off of the top rope onto the floor. J.T. hits a DANGEROUS (and I don't mean dangerous in the Kawada way) low-angle Liger Bomb that looks like it may have killed Stevie if he had flipped it over any earlier for 2. A rolling reverse cradle which was pretty nice only gets 1, because Stevie gets the rope. This was J.T's problem; sometimes, he was great; other times, he was dangerously sloppy and fucked up lots of easy stuff. Stevie whipped into the other corner. J.T. walks away, and takes a step towards Stevie, but before he can take a 2nd step, Stevie hits a sick superkick for the pin. (Ironically, Raven talks right now about how Stevie is such a good worker). Replays are shown to STP's "Crackerman", which is freaking cool, because it's among my favorite songs. Replays from _4_ different angles, which is stunning, considering ECW only had 2 cameras at the time. I'm thinking Fan Cam for at least one, and I'm right, according to the graphics that show up. 

Bad Breed accepts the challenge, as commercials ring in the new year. Fortunately, they're clipped off of my tape.

Next, an "Extreme Warfare" battle royal in Florida. They'd eventually use the idea for the tape series.

Chad Austin is in-ring, talking about how he's joining WCW. (Austin is most famous for almost getting killed by New Jack when NJ shot on him). The whole locker room clears out to attack Austin, and throw him out of the ring.

As the battle royal rages on, the Rotten Brothers and the Pitbulls battle. It's clipped, by the way. The Sandman comes in and canes everyone. Cactus throws out Tommy Cairo, and then brawls with the Sandman. Taz is in later, and suplexes Tommy Dreamer, Chris Benoit, and Mikey Whipwreck, but Public Enemy with punches from behind. We cut to when four people are left in the ring, Taz, Malenko, Benoit, and Dreamer. Benoit and Malenko throw out Taz. Ron Simmons in now. Benoit works over Simmons' arm. Dreamer gets tossed. Joey calls Benoit and Malenko an "unlikely team". I laugh. Frequently. Simmons ducks a double clothesline to win. Post-battle, however, Benoit and Malenko attack, and destroy Simmons' arm with the usual stuff. Benoit hits a swandive onto Simmons' arm, supposedly "breaking" it. Seemed hurty, but not arm-breaking.

Public Enemy cuts a promo in Times Square talking about how they have the four-on-three advantage in their 1/7/95 match (Taz/Sabu/911 vs. Public Enemy/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko). 

The next match is TV Champion Dean Malenko (accompanied by Jason) vs. "Surfer" Ray Odyssey.

However, first, Paul E. Dangerously cuts a promo, talking about how Taz is going to destroy Malenko when he gets his hands on him, and then cuts a promo putting over how 911 and Sabu/Taz will win the 4 on 3 match. Paul E. remarks that although his team has less people, "I think you guys need a lot more people on your side". Of course, it sounds a lot cooler than that (think Reservoir Dogs, Chris Penn).

Back to the match. If you haven't heard of Odyssey, it's for a reason. He sucks. Very sleazy, and not in the DVDVR sleazy coolness way. They tieup, Malenko whips Odyssey, they do some reversals, you know, basic U.S. Pro style opening to a match. Odyssey hits an enzuigiri (which Joey calls a "spinning kick") which takes Malenko to the floor. Odyssey hits a pescado (which Joey calls a "tope", which I guess is right, but I guess isn't right). Jason is wearing cigarette pants, which is so great for a heel. They go into a knucklelock, but Malenko flips through and locks on a single-leg lock. Odyssey punches Malenko in the knee to break the hold, which I guess is cool. Malenko sells the knee, so Odyssey puts the boots to it. Odyssey whips Malenko, but he reverses. Of course, Odyssey isn't in a selling sort of mood, so he gets the boots up. He covers for two. A snapmare, and Odyssey drops an ugly running elbowdrop. Weak chops in the corner. A whip is reversed, and in a very funny moment, Odyssey tries to do the Bret Hart "run into the corner as fast as I can facefirst" spot; however, he's a bit short, so he hits face-first right smack on the top turnbuckle. Really funny. I loved it. Odyssey's legit hurt, so they go straight to the finish: Malenko puts on the Cloverleaf for the quick & easy submission. 

Hey, after commercials, it's time for:

"Crippling" Chris Benoit vs. "The Shah of Philadelphia" Hack Myers

Benoit starts with boots, a whip, and a big-ass ham clothesline. A snap suplex (an impressive feat on the 350 lb. Myers). Brawling, which Benoit predictably wins with a scoop slam. A sweet Northern Lights suplex with a bridge for 2. A drapes suplex. A whip, and a Benoit back elbow. Is this a Benoit squash? No, it's not; Benoit with a whip, but Myers reverses it, and hits a weak running elbow. More punches from "the Shah". Hack Myers hits a running guillotine legdrop, but it's only onto the 1st rope. A Hack whip, but Benoit ducks the clothesline attempt and hits, the RELEASE DRAGON SUPLEX that kills Hack but dead, all in the same motion. Beautiful. Hack sells a neck injury. The ref hovers over Hack. Hack gets carried off on a stretcher, only to be taken out by Benoit's new compadre, Dean Malenko. Benoit calls out Sabu. Sabu and Taz come out, but Benoit and Malenko prevent them from entering the ring. The Public Enemy came out from behind, and attack Sabu and Taz from behind. The locker room empties to break up the brawl as the show ends. 

As the show ends, however, a clip shows of Art Barr, on a handheld (Barnett?), in a locker room (yea, Barnett, probably). Barr says that he'd like to go to ECW and face the Public Enemy with Eddy. Barr is asked "Why do you want to face Public Enemy?" Barr gets off a quote worthy of his excellence: "I like to wrestle." As the show fades to black, a clip of Nirvana covering "Where Did You Sleep Last Night" on the Unplugged show plays, while a text message says "Art Barr. 1966-1994."

The show ends on that note.

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