You are here /wrestling
/guests
/Barnwell
Guest Columns

Bill Barnwell

Main

BLAH

Well, I'm back. With the wrong column, but I'm BACK!

Where have I been?

  • ECW 12/24 report is forthcoming later this week. I didn't get to recap it because I instead enjoyed the company of family. It'll feature a subset rant featuring what I think of Erik Watts showing his face in a ECW ring.
  • ECW 12/31 report is not going to come because I don't have a copy.
  • ECW 1/7 report suffered the same fate, because my VCR is busted. When it is fixed, I shall return to my strong-style recapping ways; otherwise, next week, my report will be a live report, with not as much play-by-play as I normally do. However, because I do owe some columns, I've decided to grace the [slash] with a Guilty as Charged preview/booking segment (it segues more to a prediction-style report towards the end).

Guilty as Charged is this Sunday, January 8th, 1999, at 8:00 PM EST, live on PPV. There is an 11:00 replay, as well as, in some markets, a replay on Tuesday, which is said to be being priced at $5.00 . If you can take advantage of that $5.00 offer, I'd advise you to greatly.

The card seems rather decent, with the mix of lucha, brawling, and sports edutainment that ECW is trying to promote. Although some matches' results seem a foregone conclusion, every match has the potential to be decent --> great in its own way. 

There's some confusion over who will be wrestling for the World Title. Spike Dudley was announced as the original opponent, but, then again, so has Masato Tanaka. What do I think? Read on.

Here is a match listing, with my commentary and predictions:

Clusterfuck Match
Involving any of the following: Mikey Whipwreck, Simon Diamond, Roadkill, Danny Doring, Nova, Chris Chetti, The New Dangerous Alliance (w/ Lou E. Dangerously), Ikuto Hidaka, Super Calo, or a surprise.

We could get a series of matches, one match, or a pair of matches out of this group. We can rule out Nova/Kid Cash vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill because Kid Cash broke his jaw at the Center Stage TNN taping last night. I think we'll see Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. The New Dangerous Alliance or vs. maybe a surprise: Nova and a returning Blue Meanie. Hey, there were rumors that the WWF was going to fire him, he's not being used...it could happen. I'd love to see Hidaka/Guido or Hidaka/Calo, but doubtful.

Prediction: Danny Doring/Roadkill <7.40 Amish Splash> New Dangerous Alliance
Post-Match: Chris Chetti turns heel by beating the crap out of Nova, who comes out not to save the Dangerous Alliance, but instead to just attack Doring & Roadkill. 

Falls Count Anywhere
New Jack vs. Angel

This will be my sleep match, as I will try my hardest to just that during this. Balls Mahoney will back New Jack; Da Baldies will be defending Angel. It'll turn into a 2-on-3 handicap match. New Jack will dive off a balcony. I will yawn. Hopefully New Jack will win to end this horrible feud, but I think Angel goes over, as Paul E.'s really trying to get his younger guys credibility by putting them over the old guard.

Prediction: New Jack <9.03 El Kabong> Spanish Angel

Dream Partner Tag Match
Yoshihiro Tajiri / ??? vs. Super Crazy / ???

This has the potential to kick ten different ways of ass. Who do I think the mystery partners will be?
For Tajiri, I'm guessing Jerry Lynn. An heel turn? We'll see.
For Super Crazy, I'm guessing Blitzkrieg, making his ECW debut, and making me tear up in the process by out-highspotting everyone on Earth (short Jodie Fleisch).
What will happen? Lynn and Tajiri will function as a unit for the whole match, while Joey uses the stunned/disappointed JR call for the whole match at the pairing. Blitzkrieg will hit some insane highspots, and get himself way over in the process. Crazy will be his usual self. Little Guido will venture out sometime throughout the match, and assist Sal E. in putting Crazy through a table. With Crazy out, Blitzkrieg will have to wrestle 2-on-1. Or, so, you thought. With Tajiri and Lynn destroying Blitzkrieg, Lynn will put Blitzkrieg in a camel clutch for the Kaientai dropkick to the face. Tajiri will do it, and then Tajiri will put Blitzkrieg in the same camel clutch, asking Lynn to do the same. Lynn appears to oblige, but then dropkicks Tajiri in the face. He picks up Tajiri, hits the Cradle Piledriver on Tajiri to a huge pop, and rolls Blitzkrieg over for the pinfall. Lynn leaves, more popular than ever before, as Tajiri and Steve Corino's (speaking of Corino, when did Mike Piazza decide to get the Corino-style bleach job? UGH!) evil plans are thwarted yet again.

Prediction: Super Crazy & Blitzkrieg <16.03 Roll Over> Jerry Lynn & Yoshihiro Tajiri

A Regular Match
The Sandman vs. Rhino

This will be a Sandman match. Brawling. Chairs. Tables. Beer. Cigarettes. I actually like Rhino more than most (even if he's not a rookie; he wrestled in Germany in 1997, to start); he's got the cool Phatu-style piledriver (speaking of Phatu, his match with HHH was the most entertaining match I've seen on Smackdown/RAW in 2 1/2 months), a good spear (when sold correctly), and some other decent power stuff, along with a good diving headbutt. Rhino goes over here, with some assistance from Steve Corino, now that Rhino seems to be moving away from the Impact Players. Good move, sez I. Sandman doesn't need to win, because it won't hurt his heat. The Sandman will have his moment in the spotlight in late 1999, when he wins the World Heavyweight Title. (And, speaking of World Title predictions, what the fuck is Bob Ryder on? New Jack winning the title?)

Prediction: The Sandman <11.03 Gore (through a table)> Rhino

World Heavyweight Title Match
Mike Awesome vs. Spike Dudley

This match won't even last a minute and a half. Dudley goes for Acid Drop, Awesome awesome-bombs Dudley through a table on the floor, Dudley is unconscious, and out comes Masato Tanaka. We then get Awesome-Tanaka VIII, which will kick ass, as usual. I predict Tanaka goes over here, building towards a match at Living Dangerously that will blow off the ECW part of their feud there, as Awesome wins a Loser Leaves Town match. The usual insanity from these two. Awesome will kick out of the Roaring Elbow, leaving Tanaka with no choice but to do it again; 2 consecutive Roaring Elbows will ensure Tanaka's 2nd ECW Title Reign.

Prediction: Mike Awesome <1.13 No Contest> Spike Dudley
Prediction: Mike Awesome <16.37 Roaring Elbow> Masato Tanaka

World Tag Team Title Match
Tommy Dreamer/Raven vs. Lance Storm/Justin Credible

This has been built up enough on TNN for me to do a lead in for it here. :)
I'll just get to the match. 15 minutes of solid brawling, until the overbooking comes in.
First, Francine and Dawn Marie get into a catfight. They exit stage right FOR NOW. Raven DDT's Credible. Dreamer DDT's Storm. The Sandman comes out, and DDT's Raven. Dreamer is left alone. Rhino (ok, well, I lied about not being affiliated with the IP's) comes out and spears(gores, whatever) Dreamer through a table. Everyone is out. Dreamer gets up first, if only by virtue of being closest to the ropes. Raven follows him up, but then, DDT's Dreamer! We have a heel turn. Raven, however, pins Storm, keeping the tag titles for himself and Dreamer! Raven then stomps on Dreamer, while Francine comes out, begging him to stop; but then, she bitchslaps Dreamer, and she turns heel with Raven, in turn with TNN TV (This part I don't know about; I'm expecting Paul E. to swerve us and have Francine do something different, but this makes some sense). The Impact Players leave, uninterested in Dreamer or Raven's plight. Sandman and Rhino are brawling on the outside and have since gone back to the locker room. But then, from out of the crowd, who returns but BEULAH! Beulah DDT's Francine! A stunned Raven goes to attack Beulah, but Dreamer has been awakened, and DDT's Raven. Your main event for the next PPV: Dreamer/Beulah vs. Raven/Francine vs. Sandman/Lori Fullington (Sandman will intertwine himself in this feud somehow). 

Prediction: Tommy Dreamer/Raven <15.54 DDT> The Impact Players

World TV Title Match
Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Five minutes into the match, Sabu blows out his knee again (in the storyline). Sabu leaves with Fonzie, and in his place, out comes JERRY LYNN! So, now, we have RVD vs. Jerry Lynn, one more time, for the TV title. After fifteen minutes (due to time constraints), RVD goes for the ***** Frog Splash, but Lynn crotches him, goes up top, and hits a TOP-ROPE CRADLE PILEDRIVER for the win and the TV Title. This frees RVD to go to feud with the Impact Players. Who will Lynn feud with? Of course, Sabu.

Prediction: Rob Van Dam <4.37 No Contest> Sabu
Prediction: Rob Van Dam <16.03 Super Cradle Piledriver> Jerry Lynn

 

What does this lead to for Living Dangerously?:

  • Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm
    If Van Dam wins, he wrestles Credible at Hardcore Heaven (which will end up being a World Title Match, as Credible beats Awesome on TNN at Cyberslam 2000
  • Tommy Dreamer/Beulah vs. Raven/Francine vs. The Sandman/Lori Fullington
  • Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka
    2 out of 3 Falls
    Loser Leaves ECW
    World Title Match
  • Jerry Lynn vs. Sabu
    World Television Title Match
  • Rhino vs. Justin Credible
    (Rhino turns face by turning on Corino and Credible on TNN)
    #1 Contender Match
  • Chris Chetti vs. Nova
  • New Jack/Balls Mahoney vs. Angel/Devito
    Winner gets to be called "Ruler of the Streets"
  • Tajiri vs. Blitzkrieg
  • Super Crazy vs. Steve Corino

Not bad? Perhaps.

Bill Barnwell
[slash] wrestling

Mail the Author
Visit Blitz Sports

BLAH

Main

Design copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission