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Sharon Austin

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SHARON'S EDGE

Greetings, sports entertainment fans! Well, I'm feeling crappy today so excuse my poison pen. I'd like to preface this column with a screaming F' YOU! to my cable company for screwing up the USA channel's audio so that I missed damn near everything on RAW! Everyone sounded like their mics were off so needless to say, I didn't enjoy Kid Rock either. It was strange, the crowd was crystal clear but the wrestlers all sounded like they were buried beneath the earth. And I didn't hear J.R. & King at all. Thanks, Comcast! And you keep raising your prices for what? The Golf Channel? I don't even get Court TV or F/X! Damn, and they keep trying to convince me a satellite dish 'isn't all it's cracked up to be'?

Well I guess I should've considered this a blessing in disguise, since they had 2Blonde JOB to Too Cool in their hometown!!!!! No strike that, having 2Blonde job to Too Cool ANYWHERE is a travesty! Ranks right up there with J.R. proclaiming Xpac & Road Dogg the best tag team in the WWF! Is there alcohol in your Bar B Q sauce, J.R.? Because you'd have to be drunk to think that! First of all, why is he shilling what's supposed to be the heel team? Oh wait, that's right, he used to say HHH was the best 'technical wrestler' he'd seen. Would you buy a used car from this man? Me neither.....

That reminds me, we have new columnist here and I have to rebut some remarks she made in her column. Now, I'm aware this person runs a site completely dedicated to Xpac and how wonderful he is but it not being a site I visited regularly, I could ignore it. But now that she's brought this misguided outlook into MY house (so to speak, CRZ) and tried to rip on the Rock, I have to speak on it. First of all, I'm not going to pretend the Rock is Bret Hart-hell, if you've read this column before, you know why I like him! But him having 4 moves? I read somewhere else it was 5, but whatever, it's still more than Xpuke!

Let's see, there's the spinning heel kick, the X-factor and the HOMOEROTIC MOVE OF DOOM (Marvellous Martin tm) the bronco buster! That's 3. If you want to count the stupid crotch chop he does before the bb, you can say 4! Wow, what an arsenal! Of course, when you take in account, this person also bought the line Xpuke said about 'carrying Kane' when they were a tag team, it shows obvious bias. She also questioned Rebecca as to why Xpuke wasn't included in our Raging Hormones column. HELLOO??? How about it was because we were talking about men who turned us on?

Here's a list for you- Wrestlers You Most Like to See Crushed Under the Wheels of an 18 Wheeler?

1- Xpac!
2-Big Boss Man
3-The Godfather

My my, I'm being very nasty, aren't I? Everyone is entitled to their opinion, (no matter how WRONG they are). Let me stop now..come on, let's join hands and sing the Barney theme, OK? Well, while I'm in this foul mood-

I also can't believe that having Dean Malenko as a pimp in training is their way to get him over. W*T*F???? Kevin Kelly was raving about this new angle for Dean but he never specified what it was-just that it was great. Silly me, I actually believed him! Look it didn't really work for D'Lo, why do you think it'll work for Dean? And isn't there something way out of whack when the face team are pimps? These guys have obviously never seen HBO's 'Pimps Up, Hos Down'!

I'm still seething over 2Blonde losing those belts- part of what made them cocky was their having the belts! What happens now? Well, I'm hoping for a short reign for Too Cool, put the Hardys and the Dudleys, not to mention 2Blonde back in the running. *Sigh* I guess T&A will be there too. That's another thing I didn't get-what the heck was Test doing, fighting for Stephanie's 'honor' when she jilted him? Of course thanks to the audio problem I had, I missed him finally saying something about it! I'm just so disgusted with my cable company....

Onto a more positive note- WOW!!! What a match on ECW this week with Jerry Lynn & Tajiri facing each other! Mere words cannot do these guys justice, they are excellent! When I look for technicians in the sport of wrestling, they are who lead the list! I also love the whole 'is he or isn't he working with the network' angle they're doing with Jerry. And while I really enjoy Tajiri as a heel, as long as he's on my tv, I have zero complaints. You have to hand it to Paul E., his roster gets depleted thanks to injuries and raids, but he always manages to put on good shows; which is more than I can say for the big two sometimes.

I'd also like to thank everyone for the great feedback to the 'Raging Hormones' column, I'm glad you guys weren't turned off by it. I'd also like to give BIG props to our esteemed webmaster CRZ for not only allowing Rebecca and I to be free with our thoughts and actually post the column but was even sweet enough to include pics of our top choices. CRZ ,YOU RULE!!! ( Look for that sign at SummerSlam)

Until next time............

Sharon
[slash] wrestling

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