Well hello, hello, hello to all my readers and the folks who have come here by accident. It's Michaelangelo (not the Ninja Turtle and not the Renaissance painter) here again to fill you in on Monday Night's weekly offering. There's a few surprises here tonight, so read carefully.

Before we get started, let me spew a bit about some recent happenings WCW. Word is out that they are letting quite a few grapplers go. The three that I am concerned most about are Bryan Adams, Scott Norton, and Chastity. 

I have never made it a secret that I am a fan of all three of these folks. I think Adams, if used correctly, could be a great asset to any wrestling organization. Norton is just a monster who never got a fair shake. Chastity is a hot ringside personality who can take bumps while looking sexy at the same time. The WCW's roster is looking leaner and I can't say that's a bad thing, but you shouldn't throw out the baby with the bathwater.

Ah, well, maybe Chasitity will turn up back in ECW soon. I bet they'll use her properly.

Anyway, let's move on to this week's...

Mail Sack

From: NPR's Laura
Subject: hi michael...

Laura here.  Another great column, thanks a lot -- you made me laugh out loud at least 4 times.  (Eddie Cantor. You kill me.) 

Also you might mention in a follow-up...like next week or something...that, apparently, Jericho HAS decided that it IS your (and my and everyone's) job to come up with a new name for the Liontamer -- if you check out Jericho's website, they're havin' a contest!  Name the Move Formerly Known As The Liontamer.  Win a pair of wrestling tights. Or something.  I kid you not...check it out at www.chrisjericho.com. Keep up the great work; I really look forward to your column. 

-- Laura.

For those who don't know, Laura writes a column of her own here on [slash] Wrestling. I suggest you all check it out. 

Thanks for the complement, Laura. 

Peace.

From: Totalpkg80
Subject: The New Four Horsemen...Learn to love it....WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

   I would just like to start of by saying that if anyone...including you michaelangelo...think that Flair and Hogan being on the same team will last,
think AGAIN.  We are in the midst of seeing the old school Flair resurface and the New Four Horsemen will rule WCW.  Think about it....who can stop a team like Flair, Sting, Luger, and DDP.  Hogan's knee is just about had it. Bret Hart is just...well..boring.  And Oldberg got OLD well at about 40-0. If WCW was smart they would set this up....I personally think a 4 Horsemen v. The Revolution would be a great angle.  Start up a fued with Big Poppa Pump and Hogan.  And damn it bring back the f*cking Outsiders.  WCW's tag team division is still well BORING!!!!!!!!  That's all I have to say.  

If any of you would like to discuss this any further you can reach me at TotalPkg80@aol.com  and michaelangelo keep up the stellar work.

The Total Package

Interesting thought. I would not mind seeing those four together in a stable at all. Anyone else?

Last week's question was: 

Mark Madden, WCW Shill? Yea or Nay and why?

Well, just one response to that one. Here it is:

From: sancreunion
Subject: None

The entire WCW Live! crew are WCW shills.  It wasn't obvious for maybe three weeks or so, but after hearing this exchange:    Borash: Well, do you think the ratings were reflective of the shows' quality?    Ryder: You know, the ratings don't always reflect the quality of the shows...    Madden: That's true!  I actually thought WCW had the better show!  No kidding! ...about 18 centillion times since the show debuted, and after enduring endless streams of heinously obvious kayfabed "shoots" vehemently defended by their crew, well... there isn't much doubt

I can't say that I disagree.

Well, this week, how about a question that's a bit more fun? WCW and WWF have had their share of bad gimmicks, but what about the angles? Looking back, there have been a few doozies. So I ask:

In your opinion, what is the stupidest Professional Wrestling angle ever presented?

Send your answers to michaelangelo70@hotmail.com and I will print every one of them. What are you waiting for? Start writing! Now!

On with the countdown.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly for September 27, 1999

WCW

GOOD: Finally justifying Hogan’s limp with an attack on his leg.

BAD: Why didn’t that kid warn Hogan when Sting was “sneaking” up on him?

BAD: Looks like the promised main event might not happen tonight.

BAD: Tony on Sting, “Vicious as he’s ever been.” They should be focusing on what a strange occurrence it is that Sting is behaving as a heel, not trying to justify it.

GOOD: Bobby’s picture of Kidman without hair. When they let this guy loose, he’s too funny. 

BAD: Sting in the back watching the monitor. Who was he talking to?

ON THE FENCE: The Cat’s return. Okay, the asshole has been growing on me.

UGLY: The Cat’s wardrobe. Leopard skin cango?

BAD: The Cat calling everyone out. That’s a formula for loss.

GOOD: Benoit answering the challenge!

BAD: The Cat getting a title shot. If he beats Benoit, I will riot. I swear to God.

BAD: Goldberg in the first hour? Are they trying to ruin his career?

BAD: Benoit selling for Miller. Every wrestler is entitled to one “no-selling” match. This is The Crippler’s chance.

GOOD: Benoit actually gets a decent match out of Miller.

GOOD: There’s a damned good chance we’ll get a clean pin here.

BAD: Schiavone hyping the main event throughout the match. Does he ever learn? Everyone start bringing signs that indicate just how big a cow pie we all think Fat Tony is. We want Hudson! We want Hudson!

GOOD: Benoit wins with a submission! Wow! Haven’t seen a tap out to the Crippler Crossface on Nitro in ages. Good match…kudos to both men. Yes, you heard me, both men.

GOOD: Vampiro! He’s getting in the ring again!

GREAT: No ICP! I am fighting to write through my tears of joy.

BAD: Tony does not say a word about ICP’s very suspicious absence.

BAD: He’s fighting Buff Bagwell? Oh God. If they put Buff over Vampiro, I will be pissed.

BAD: Buff sucking up to the crowd.

GOOD: Bobby calls it.

BAD: Buff saying that it’s not very long that they get to go to Atlanta. Isn’t that where the PROMOTION IS BASED?!?!?!

UGLY: Buff’s atomic drop on Vampiro. You can’t miss a spot any worse than they did here.

BAD: Buff winning the match. If this is where Vampiro is going to be relegated without ICP and under new management, you’re gonna lose a lot of fans. Fuck you WCW.

BAD: Tony accusing Heenan of never letting him speak his mind. Uh, shouldn’t that be the other way around?

GOOD: A dark demonic voice threatening Tony. Cool. I’d love to see Schiavone get his skin flayed off.

GOOD: The fact that I got to use the word “flay” in this column.

INTERESTING: Luger “laying to rest” his former persona and wanting to be called “Total Package.” Could be worthwhile. Let’s see what they do with it.

GOOD: The return of Miss Elizabeth. I have had a soft (hard?) spot for her since she tossed off her skirt at Summer Slam 1988 to distract Andre the Giant, Ted Dibiase, and Jesse Ventura, allowing Hogan and Savage to get the win.

UGLY: Luger’s body. Jesus, it looks like a map of the Appalachian Mountains. Ladies, please, help me out here. Is this really attractive to you?

BAD: Hogan receiving “medical attention” backstage. Just give him a damned cortisone shot and let’s get it over with.

BAD: Konnan is still around, but they let Scott Norton go? There’s no justice in this world.

GOOD: The Filthy Animals and Revolution feuding. It’s two teams with talented wrestlers. They even seem to be picking a heel side in the “Out with Evolution” guys.

GOOD: Rey Mysterio Jr. versus Dean Malenko. Good matchup with an actual back story.

BAD: The reality that there will probably be a run-in.

GOOD: Heenan on Rey Mysterio’s ring attire. “Can you glue those on?”

GREAT: This match. They have had a good first hour. Too bad the rest will be crap on a stick.

BAD: Split screening the match for fucking Sid and Goddammed Stiener.

GOOD: Clean pin! Wow!

GOOD: Malenko’s ring etiquette after the match is over. It hearkens back to the old days of “face versus face.”

GOOD: No sign of DJ Ran.

BAD: Jimmy Hart calling out Goldberg again. This time throwing Hugh Morrus at him. Come on. Please.

GOOD: The fact that it’s happening so close to 9 p.m., that probably means that something extracurricular will happen to keep us from tuning to RAW.

QUESTION: You suppose that Goldberg will get “coal miner’s lung” from sucking all those sparkler fumes?

GOOD: Goldie’s pop.

BAD: The fact that they are wasting him in the first hour against jobber opponents.

BAD: I saw this match last week, but Hugh Morrus was called Brian Knobs.

BAD: Sid hit Goldberg with a CHAIR?!?!? Last week, Knobs hit him with a chair 5 times and then 3 times with the megaphone. That’s the best Sid can do? What a bunch of crap.

GOOD: Goldberg on the stick. They should let him and Sid lock up tonight. There doesn’t have to be a result. Make it a no-contest, but give the fans more than this shit!

GOOD: Once again, no Rikki Rachtman. I can’t get too excited here, because the minute I do, he and his blue hair will be back.

GOOD: The competition between these two Nitro Girl candidates won’t be a gimme this week. They’re both quite hot.

BAD: Karagias versus Berlyn. I have lost complete interest in Wright.

WORSE: So has everyone else. Boy did they ruin this guy.

BAD: ZZ-TOP at ringside. Boy, those guys look ancient.

BAD: Berlyn wins the exact same way he has won every match. Some German wrestling machine he is. WCW bookers just suck.

NOT SURE HOW TO FEEL: The return of David Flair. Torrie Wilson I can accept, but without her…uh, not sure how to feel. At least this means that Ric Flair is back in WCW’s good graces.

BAD: The fact that the WCW’s tag team ranks are so thin, that they have to keep putting the West Texas Rednecks in the ring with Harlem Heat.

EH: This match. Nothing terrible. Nothing great. Kind of blah. Seems more like a time killer than anything else.

BAD:  Harlem Heat turning heel? Not a good idea. Did the bookers forget that Booker T. gets major Face heat?

BAD: Rick Stiener. I hate this guy more every time I see him.

WORSE: His brother isn’t with him.

WORST: Once again, Stiener speaking for a champion and taking over a match himself. Now, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to seeing Sid versus Hammer, but it was a scheduled match. I guess we can ignore any matches set up ahead of time from now on.

BAD: DFG wins. Who didn’t see that coming?

GOOD: The Hitman. He looks good. He looks very good.

GOOD: Mean Gene on Bret: “You got hit in the mush.” The mush? Yet another outdated term. Hey, Gene, did Luger “knock his block off?”

GREAT: Hart giving Flair incredible props. Flair returning the favor. I marked my ass off for these two guys. If you didn’t, you’re a liar. Even Hart couldn’t keep a straight face.

GOOD: Finally, Torrie Wilson hanging with Kidman. We’ve been expecting this. Okay, I can live with David Flair.

BAD: The return of Konnan’s stupid-ass catchphrases. Guess what I didn’t miss.

GOOD: He’s fighting Saturn. Kick his ass, Perry.

GOOD: This is a decent match.

BAD: So they decide to throw a commercial in there. Of course.

GOOD: The schmozz was effective. It introduced Chavo’s new stable, it furthered the feud between them and the Filthy Animals, and it also managed to enhance Shane Douglas’ heel turn and the feud between Eddie Guerrero and Saturn. Good booking. If you’re going to have a run-in, make it worthwhile.

GOOD: Goldberg having Sid’s car towed.

BAD: If that were Austin, the car would be destroyed, not carted off.

GOOD: DDP’s interview. He’s really very good on the stick. His references to Kimberly and the other wrestlers were great.

BAD: Psychosis versus Kidman, hair versus mask. EVERYONE IN THE WORLD KNOWS HOW THIS ONE IS GOING TO END.

GOOD: It will probably be a good match regardless.

BAD: Tony trying to soften the impending blow to Psychosis by talking about how great Rey and Juvy’s careers have been since they lost their masks.

GOOD: The match was as good as I expected. Perhaps it was a little predictable, but I commend both men for putting on a good show. Good moves. Good near-falls. It was a barn burner through and through.

GOOD: You know what? Nitro is a good show tonight! Holy shit. It has a good shot at actually being better than RAW.

GOOD: That adaptation of Animal Farm looks cool.

BAD: It’s on opposite The Simpsons. Looks like it’s gonna get taped.

GOOD: The crowd’s reaction to the main event starting. Huge pop for Buffer.

GOOD: Is it me or does Hart look incredibly good in the ring?

GOOD: Okay, I gotta give it to these five guys. They put on a hell of a show. Hogan did well by not being a part of the main event, giving the ring up to the healthy guys. His presence at the end was actually quite well done. All-in-all, Nitro was a great show tonight. Good job WCW.

BAD: I never thought I’d say that.

GOOD: The shot of Sid on his crushed car. I guess I underestimated the WCW. Not bad.

OVERALL: Well, aside from Buff going over Vampiro and the stupid Sid run-in on Goldberg, this was a top notch night. In fact, I have to say that this was the best Nitro of the year. Unfortunately, that isn't saying much.

WWF

GOOD: HHH winning the belt back. I think he needs the title a bit longer to get over. He’s almost there.

GOOD: The ref strike is over, it served it’s purpose, affected the PPV, and it reached closure. That’s how you work an angle.

BAD: The fact that we are going to have to hear his damned music over and over again tonight.

BAD: I don’t know if it’s my cable, but I am getting glitches from the feed.

GOOD: I like the direction of this angle. The impending blowoff match between Austin and Helmsley is looking better and better.

GOOD: An explanation as to why the Bulldog helped HHH.

BETTER: HHH admitting that he lied to the Bulldog.

BEST: Davey Boy going after HHH. Could this be a quick face turn?

GOOD: HHH versus The Rock.

BAD: I want to see The Rock win the title, but I hate to see HHH lose it so soon.

GOOD: The fact that it can honestly go either way.

UGLY: Mae Young and Moolah versus Ivory. I thought that WCW was where the old wrestlers went to retire.

GOOD: Mankind with tons of gifts for The Rock. Foley is too damned funny.

BAD: Jim Ross calling the marriage of Test and Stephanie McMahon the “wedding of the century.” Uh, no.

BAD: Tom Prichard and Jarrett versus Chyna and Debra? Can we get over this crap?

BAD: Repeating tracks over censored words instead of muting them. It’s very annoyting.

GOOD: Y2J versus Show. Good match.

BETTER: Jericho calling Show a waste of sperm. Okay, I marked out a little.

BAD: Prince Albert feuding with the Big Show? The guy even stole the Rock’s insult (Big Slow).

GOOD: Prince Albert’s drop kick on Show. Impressive.

GOOD: Foley “breaking kayfabe” and laughing about his three gimmicks when Stevie Richards asked if he could be Dude Love. When he spit out his water, I cracked up.

GOOD: Chyna accepting the challenge and sending a warning to Debra. This makes sense. Funny how WWF does that.

BAD: The actual thought of Chyna and Debra being a tag team.

GOOD: Austin remembering his promised title shot.

BAD: Setting up Austin’s title shot for the next PPV. This is such a WCW tactic.

BAD: When are they going to get to telling us who is behind GTV? Methinks they don’t even know themselves.

BAD: Why is a frog splash the “Boot of the Week?”

GOOD: D’Lo versus Blackman. Two hard workers can’t be bad.

BAD, WITH APOLOGIES TO CRZ: Jim Ross on Blackman: “He can beat you in so many ways.” Uh, he should concentrate on just one, because I can’t remember the last time he won.

CRAZY: Blackman assaulting the head of security. If he keeps that up, anarchy will rule! The fans will run wild in the streets! Damn the man! Fight the power!

ODD: Marc Henry turning face again. Jesus, Vince, make up your mind.

GOOD: D’Lo not going for it. I’d like to see him totally snub Sexual Chocolate. Don’t let them hook up again, that would be unexpected.

GOOD: Mankind’s party for the Rock.

GOOD: The sixth grade Home Ec. Teacher. She smells what the Rock is cooking. She knows her rolls. Okay, bad puns, but they play well.

GOOD: The Rock ignoring etiquette and telling off his teacher and coach. I think we all wanted to do that.

GOOD: The Rock’s high school sweetheart. She looks like a typical small town girl. The fact that Rocky talks to her in the third person.

GOOD: The Rock using the term “poontang pie.” It’s just funny.

BETTER: Jim Ross adding, “Piping hot.”

GOOD: Mankind’s windbreakers that say “Rock and Sock Connection.” Mr. Rocko was quite funny too. The Rock’s expression was priceless. Don’t break these two up.

GOOD: HHH helping to hype the main event with a sneak attack on Rocky. Good timing, that clown was getting aggravating.

BAD: I gotta say that this segment, although entertaining, was a total waste of time and it ran too long.

BAD: Sounds like the New Age Outlaws are turning heel. Not good. JJ is way over as face. It seems to be too radical a change right now.

GOOD: X-Pac and Kane back together. I really liked these two.

BAD: I would rather have seen the Hollys in the ring.

BAD: Kane losing his push as a singles wrestler? Hope not.

GOOD: The NAO and X-Pac shaking hands. I guess that it’s a face turn for Mr. Ass. But what about Kane?

UGLY: Mae and Moolah in an evening gown match with Ivory. OH MY GOD! Vince, this is a frightening turn of events. Please say it ain’t so.

BAD: Mae Young. Jesus. Is she even alive?

BAD: This match sucks. It looks like it's being run in geriatro-vision.

HORRIBLE: Mae Young stripped to her skivvies. Oh Jesus, God. Help me. I’m BLINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!

GOOD: Val using Mr. Rocko to, um, enhance his package. There’s something kind of celestial about The Rock’s face in Val Venis’s pants.

BAD: Chyna and Debra on the same team. What is this, beauty and the beast?

GOOD: Chyna actually getting the pin on Jarrett.

UGLY: HHH’s tope rope spill. Wow. That was incredible.

GOOD: The fact that when the Rock and HHH start bouncing each other’s heads off the announcers table, although Lawler and Ross retreat, Austin just stays there. That’s what’s called staying in character.

BAD: The main event. We’ve seen all this before. The double screw job was telegraphed and I’m sick of seeing The Rock lose his title shots time after time. I gotta be honest, I preferred the WCW’s main event tonight.

OVERALL: Lackuster night for the WWF. The Blackman versus D'Lo match was cool, as was Jericho versus Wight. However, the 15 minute Rock/Manking segment slowed the pace of the show and the main event was phoned in. To top it off, I will have nightmares about Mae Young for the next 10 years. Thumbs way down.

Well that's it for this week's installment. Thanks for reading.

Comments, questions, you got a problem? Write me at michaelangelo70@hotmail.com. All letters will be answered or folded into origami animals.

I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.