Good afternoon to you all. We got two interesting shows to cover today and I am sure you are all anxious to get to the ranting, but first, I have some words about Eric Bischoff.

For those of you who read only what I write and nothing else, Eric Bischoff was removed as the head of World Championship Wrestling as of last week. He  will remain a Turner Sports employee under Harvey Schiller, while Bill Busch becomes acting executive vice president of WCW.

All I can say is, "Wow."

I know that I have harped on Bischoff for the shit leaking WCW product that we have been subjected to for the last 10 months, but I never expected such drastic action from the suits over at Turner-land. He may have been in a huge slump, but he was the man who put WCW on the map and forced Vince McMahon to drag his ass out of the gutter and provide some competition. 

I can't say I'm unhappy about what has happened, but if you think about it, it kind of makes sense. Uncle Eric's regime had evolved from a well oiled machine of solid storylines and decent in-ring action to a cluttering mess of egos, disjointed plots, and personal favors.

He got lazy, and when he tried to steer the boat back on track by laying down the law in that famous meeting a couple of weeks back, he tied the noose around his career, stood on the stool, and waited for someone to kick it out from under him.

It's too bad, really, because at one time, he was good. Damn good. Good luck in whatever you do, Eric. Maybe someday you'll be back and you can give it another shot.

Then again, maybe not.

The Mail Sack

The Mail Sack is chock full this week! Thanks to all who took the time to write me. First, let me publish some general letters and then we'll move on to our Question of the Week.

From: "Jafo ."
Subject: Kick ass!

This was only the second time I've read your column, hell maybe it's only the second time you've done it.  But I just wanted to tell you that you're fucken funny and I think your column is great.  I agree with everything you say and you're now on my regular read list.

Keep it up man!

-Greg

Thanks, bud.

From: "Matt Plunk"
Subject: Nice column

Hey man,    

 Like your column, especially the "As it happens" feel.   It's not so much reflective as "this is what I felt like when I heard this or saw that". Just one note though.  You said "How many matches did WCW hype for Thunder? I'll give you a hint, it rhymes with DONE" Well, technically both One and None rhyme with done, but I think we all know which one it is.

Well I do write it as I'm watching it, so it is actually based on my real feelings as the shows unfold or in the case of Nitro, disintegrate.  Sorry I missed that "DONE" reference. Next time, I'll say "HERO."

From: "Zoetrope"
Subject: None

I think the reason for WCW hiring Sid back and pushing him to the top is obvious:  it kills two birds with one stone.  Not only does it give WCW a major heel (something which WCW hasn't had for a while... Savage and The Cat in no way count in my eyes), but it also gives Ric Flair another in a series of capital-letters FUCK YOU's.  I'm sure Bischoff isn't above hurting Flair's friends in order to send the message to him...

I agree that Sid can be a major heel in WCW, however, I think the price they paid for hiring him just wasn't worth it. Bringing in a guy who tried to kill one of your oldest employees is just a bad idea. Flair and Arn deserve better.

Besides, Sid is really kind of a lunkhead. 

Zoetrope also wrote me a great long letter pulling pieces of my column out and analyzing them. If you read my column closely enough to do that, I really appreciate it because it helps me get better at this gig. However, to conserve space, I chose to answer that letter personally and decided not to reprint it here.

From: depetro
Subject: Your column

Your column is becoming one of my favorite to read on the internet each week.  You are seriously a funny person.  If you want to know what I thought was funny, lemme know and I'll specify.  Great job.

Thanks for the complement. Go ahead and tell me what you think works and doesn't work. I will read it with great interest.

Okay, now here are the letters that addressed my Question of the Week for last week. The question was: Which current WCW, WWF, and/or ECW wrestlers do you see as the future stars of this great sport?

From: Chris Masterton
Subject: Whos Who in the WWF in 5 years

I only watch WWF since WCW seems like a waste of airtime these days. So here is my predictions on who will be big and who will be fighting Brisco and Patterson in say five years: 

Over: 

Under: 

That's my impromptu (and very opinionated) list. 

Whadda ya think? 

Chris.

From: IIGaLMII
Subject: Question of Da' Week

1/4th of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,     

Well if anyone is took make it big, I'd have to say um, da Millennium Man and Edge. They are so versatile and w/ a little time Edge will be good on da mic. No one in ECW is good for the future cuz they will probably wind up in WWF or WCW anyways. I think ECW depends on WWF and WCW, they always mention either of them in each show it seems. They need to depend on their stars and not the stars they had.    

Probably the only one to write you,     
Doug the True:::::: "The Quintessential Studdmuffin"

As for me, I have my own short lists:

WWF: Pretty much their whole roster (except for the Bossman). The ones who come to mind more specifically are Rock, Edge, Christian, Jericho, Test, X-Pac, Big Show, and Sean Staziak (only because my dad loved Stan "The Man" when he was a kid).

WCW: Less to choose from here. Billy Kidman, Disco Inferno, Vampiro, Lash Leroux, Blitzkrieg, and Goldberg.

ECW: Having only a preliminary look at their roster, I have just a couple. Taz (now that he's headed to WWF, it's almost assumed), Jerry Lynn, Steve Corino, and Rob Van Dam.

For next week's question: How do you think Eric Bischoff's removal from WCW wrestling will affect the quality of their product?

Remember, send your thoughts to michaelangelo70@hotmail.com and I will publish your letters here. 

Now then, let's get to it.

The Good, Bad, and Ugly for September 13, 1999

WCW

BAD: Sting's heel turn. Sting as a heel is not so bad, if done correctly. This was not. Sting's heel turn should have been as monumental as Hogan's or The Rock's. It should have meant something more. Instead, it was simply a way to cater to the egos of Hogan and Hart, neither of which wanted to be bad guys. The whole lead-in to Fall Brawl got so convoluted, that Sting turning heel was the only thing they could have done to be unpredictable. So much so, that it became all to predictable. Combine that with the fact that as he was cheating his way to the World Title, Stinger got the loudest pops of the night. Eh. As I go through tonight's show, I will comment on this further. Stay tuned!

BAD: Most of the booking for Fall Brawl. Who the hell decided that the Revolution would get beat in every match of the night? Come on, Knobbs and Morrus over Douglas and Malenko!?! Did Vampiro have to lose again? What happened to Buff vs. Berlyn? Do they really think Fattsaw Jim Duggan was a suitable replacement? You all know how I feel about Benoit dropping the title to Sid, and I have more to say about that later. I am glad that DDP is okay with putting over other wrestlers, but does he have to make a career of it? I'm very glad I didn't bother ordering this one.

BAD: Ever notice that the recap videos they run the day after a PPV never contain a single lick of footage from said PPV? Cheap bastards. Nobody is going to order the damn replay, so just run the stuff.

BAD: Bobby Heenan on Sid, " He can beat you many different ways." Uh...let's see. Powerbomb, that's one. Chokeslam, that's two. Okay. I got two.

GOOD:  A rematch between Benoit and Malenko to start things off! Where did they hang that "Under new Management" sign?

BAD: Tony on the Malenko/Benoit rematch. "The WCW officials have come up with a decisive...(long pause)...decision." He'd better hope that he has a thesaurus under his Christmas tree this year.

GOOD: A title shot to the winner of this match. Wow! This is so strange, it's what the FANS WANT! What a concept! It's radical thinking like this that might just save the day for WCW.

GOOD: The match itself. It seems a bit slower to start than last week, but the crowd is into it and so am I.

BAD: All those empty seats. Holy Toledo.

GOOD: Benoit's win over Malenko. Now, I'm not the biggest fan of old Dean, but I recognize his skill as a grappler. Seeing The Crippler roll him up was kind of fulfilling. The move itself wasn't half bad either. Now if Benoit actually takes the title from Sting tonight, I'll pledge my undying loyalty to WCW (right after I recover from the heart attack).

GOOD: Flair is back! His quasi-shoot about being free was classic. Keep in mind that this happened after Mark Madden lambasted a WCW Live caller on Friday for suggesting that Bischoff's dismissal be used as an angle. Go Rick! 

GOOD: Sting and Luger's arrival. With Flair carrying most of this interview, he managed to do what all the booker's horses and all the booker's men could not, he made Sting into a Bona-fide heel. Whoo!

BAD: The size of Stinger's ass. Whoa, Borden's got back! Uh...not that I notice that stuff. Oh come on! It took up half my TV screen!

GOOD: NOT! This segment was the best thing WCW has put on television in a very long time. Welcome back Rick.

GOOD: The crowd was hot! New management better be taking notes. 

GOOD: Flair: "They can't do this without the Nature Boy!" Damn straight.

GOOD: Hogan and Hart making the save. Something about Hogan and Flair being on the same side is really appealing to me.

GOOD: Hogan/Hart versus Sting/Luger. Not a terrible main event. First of all, it's the return to the ring of The Hitman. Second, Sting and Hart can make this a great match to watch.

BAD: I though Bret said he wouldn't get back in the ring until he got a shot at Hogan. So much for that.

BAD: What does this tag match do to Benoit's title shot?

BAD: Hogan tries to get a "Kick their ass." chant going to no avail. Uh-oh. 

BAD: Photos of the PPV "Courtesy of WCW Magazine." Funny, they look like video stills to me.

INTERESTING: Has Uta's skirt raised a couple of inches since last week?

BAD: DJ Ran is still there. The crowd is so pumped from The Benoit/Malenko match and Rick Flair's mic time, they are louder than I ever remember them being for this guy. I hope management doesn't think that's because we like him.

BAD: Rikki Rachtman. Talk about sucking the wind right out of the proverbial sails. He's in a leather suit...circa 1986. Look, I know that he's under contract. That's fine, Bischoff hired the guy and you have contractual obligations to fulfill, that's fine. Why not just bury him on Saturday night interviewing the Luchadores? Why not? He has the same taste in clothes as Juvy.

BAD: Rattman's cheap heat. He insults Miami by saying the girls in North Carolina are hotter. What a loser! If this guy didn't get boo'ed, he be playing to dead silence. How close is Hurricane Floyd to this asshole?

GOOD: Kim Page's outfit. Yeow. Okay, I respect DDP. A lot.

BAD: The dark bags under Alyson's eyes during her interview segment. Get some sleep girl!

GOOD: Alyson in person. Wow...she is a hottie. Great choice of attire for her appearance.

GOOD: Ashley too. I'd say a big improvement over last week's finalists.

GOOD: This whole segment is catering to men for the most part, that we can all agree on. However, the interviews with the candidates seem to be trying to pull out some sort of redeeming value as well by giving us a small look inside their lives. I commend WCW for that, they're trying to put a personality with the hot bods. That's a hell of a lot more than WWF does with most of their women. 

BAD: In one line, Rachtman completely obliterates all that by saying of future candidates, "No ugly girls." Asshole. Rot in hell.

GOOD: The Luger doesn't have clearance bit. Having Dillon call for clearance only to find out he always had it was cool. It ties some of the strings together and makes the whole angle a bit clearer and more consistent. Little things like this are what WCW is lacking.

BAD: Sign: "Boring -- Where's Sid." Wow...this sign says it all.

BAD: Sid as US Champ. Fuck that. Will he ever defend it until he gets to Goldberg? Probably not. Benoit gave the US Title some merit, now Sid makes it a joke. I'd almost rather give it back to David Flair.

BAD: Eric Watts versus Disco Inferno at a few minutes to 9? This has to be Sid bait. It's too bad, too, because Disco deserves better.

BAD: Eric Watts' ring attire. I know I'm not the only person who hates guys who wrestle in jeans.

GOOD: Disco's ball is back!

UGLY: The powerbomb Watts gave Disco onto the top turnbuckle. Ouch.

BAD: A weird shift in the crowd noise...hmmm. Were they filtering something out?

BAD: I got suckered by that sign! (See above) I should have known that a negative sign would never get airtime unless it was planted. When the camera zooms in on it and then cuts to Sid backstage, I realized that I'd fallen for it.

GOOD: Sid sniggering backstage as he watches the match in the dark. This is the kind of Sid I like. He's totally insane. He could do it without the US Title Belt, though.

GOOD: Disco gets a clean win!

BAD: It's small comfort for what he has to endure next. Two powerbombs and her gets to be another of Sid's "wins."

BAD: More Sid intrusion. Get it over with! Fight Goldberg already! Are we going to have to wait for the next PPV for this. I doubt fans will tolerate another month of this crap.

GOOD: At least he waited for the match to end this time.

BAD: When in blazes are they going to explain Charles Robinson's role in all this. He's a ref, and a member of Sid's regime? Forget it.

GOOD: Sid's latest mic work. Okay, it's getting a bit better. He still needs to cut it down, though.

GOOD: Silver King versus Norman Smiley. Both these guys can mix it up well in the ring. Not to mention that Smiley is a fan favorite.

BAD: We all know that this match isn't going to have an ending. 

UGLY: Smiley "smacking the bitch up" on Silver King. That's just wrong.

GOOD: Notice that the camera didn't zoom in on him when he did it. In fact, during the Big Wiggle, it even panned back! Guess the new management isn't buying into that "family entertainment" crap.

BAD: Sid. Some things change, some things stay the same. Give Benoit the World Title and all will be forgiven.

UGLY: Hacksaw Jim Duggan's gut. Lay off the Ring Dings, Jimbo. Of all the Fall Brawl matches to show video footage from, why did they pick this one?

GOOD: Regal rules. No pun intended.

BAD: Of course, he's out there to put someone over. Hopefully it won't be Sid again.

GOOD: I like Vince as a West Texas Redneck. I am looking forward of the vignette when he performs with the band for the first time. The possibilities are endless.

BAD...and SAD: The current state of WCW's tag team ranks. We have The Revolution, Harlem Heat, the Rednecks, the First family, and the Blue Bloods. Compare that to WWF's current roster of Rock and Mankind, the Dudleys, the Hollys, the New Brood, Edge and Christian, Taker and Show, Val Venis and D'Lo, and The Acolytes. Guess who wins.

GOOD: Regal with a sweet sunset flip. He moves fast for a guy his size. He could be over if they booked him to win now and again. Sigh. Deaf ears, my friends, deaf ears.

BAD: This match has more cellulite than a liposuction clinic. Yegads.

GOOD: Regal gets hit with the cowbell. Tony: "Regal is out!" Bobby: "Tally Ho!"

BAD: Jerry Flynn. Ugh. I'm choking on my apathy.

BAD: Tony: "...the rabid fans of WCW." I'm sure he meant to say "rabbit." 

GOOD: No match! Thank you Goldberg! 

GOOD: Prince Iaukea should thank Goldberg for interrupting his match. If he and Flynn locked up, Sid would have felt an uncontrollable urge to go out and powerbomb them.

GOOD: Goldberg finally addresses Sid. I bet all the undercard and midcard jobbers are relieved. Lash Leroux is hoping this means he can actually finish a match for once.

BAD: Goldberg says that he admires Sid's "skill." I'm sure he meant to say "skillet."

GOOD: Goldy's mic skills are improving. Keep handing him the stick and he'll be the next Flair. Well...maybe not that good, but close.

GOOD: The challenge is for tonight! If this match happens, they could actually contend in the ratings this evening.

BAD: WCW cops out. Jesus! Just book it! If Hulk and Bret can get Sting and Luger in the ring on a whim, why can't Dillon just "book" Sid and Goldberg? Think, people, think! If this were WWF, we'd get this match tonight. 

GOOD: At least we get to see Goldberg dismantle Flynn.

GOOD...WELL, NOT BAD: Hugh Morrus.

BAD...WELL, HORRIBLE: Brian Knobs.

GOOD: All the fans "raising the roof" when Harlem Heat's music kicked in.

BAD: Seems the music is more over than the team is. Plus, the lousy attendance means no high shot of the crowd dancing. Sad...very sad.

UGLY: The nasty scars on Stevie and Booker T's backs. Yik.

BAD: Taking commercial breaks during title matches. This shit has to stop.

GOOD: It's not that bad because this match really sucks. Booker barely gets ring time, leaving Stevie to carry the First Family. Morrus holds his own, but Knobs equals disaster.

BAD: Booker's Harlem side kick to Morrus. Hugh had to shift about three feet while doubled over. It looked contrived.

BAD: And as a cherry on top of this pile of crap match, we get a screwjob ending. Booker, bail out while you can.

BAD: Vampiro got hurt from the PPV. Nasty bump too, looked bad. Kidman's Knee went right into his face during the moonsault.

WORSE: Neither member of ICP got hurt.

GOOD: Vamp looks like hammered shit, but he's out there.

BAD: I can't remember the last time he actually had a match on Nitro.

GOOD: The ICP are fighting Lenny and Lodi! I'm actually rooting for the "brothers" to win.

BAD: I know deep down that there's no way the IC-fucking-P are going to job to an ambiguously gay duo. 

BAD: So, who are the faces in this match? All these guys are heels.

GOOD: The camera focuses on Vampiro for a second and he tells them to pay attention to the ring. Good advice. They'd miss a lot less spots if they kept the camera on the wrestlers when they are supposed to.

BAD: Shaggy 2 Dope kicks out of a double DDT, come on! The guy is smaller than I am! Who does he think he is, Goldberg?

WORSE: The clowns win. I hate them almost as much as Rachtman.

GOOD: Benoit versus Sting. I bet these two guys could put on one hell of a show. If the match ends clean, whether Benoit wins or loses, I will commend WCW for the rest of this column.

GOOD: Benoit on the mic putting over Sid. I hear that the whole question of whether Sid tapped out was a shoot and not a scripted part of the interview. Pretty sneaky, Chris.

GOOD: Benoit on his Fall Brawl defeat: "There's no shame in losing." Amen. This is why The Crippler is a true champion.

HORRIBLY AWFULLY ROTTEN: Here comes fucking Steiner. Looks like there will be no World Title match tonight. Nice going, WCW. You made yet another promise to the fans that you failed to keep. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

BAD: The match is a squash with Benoit getting a rollup win at the end.

GOOD: Looking at this whole situation, I can take a perspective which is kind of optimistic. Now, the Sid/Benoit match for Fall Brawl was booked before Bischoff was  removed from WCW. In order to preserve the Sid angle, he had to go over Benoit. WCW knew the fans would hate the fact that Crippler was no longer a champ and could not give him the World Title right now, so they give him the only belt they can, the TV Title. I guess it's some consolation. Hopefully, he'll hold it for some length of time.

GOOD: Benoit should love his Internet fans. Since he has become our cyber-hero, he has won the Tag Team Title, the US Title, and the TV Title. Wow.

GOOD: Eddie Guerrero versus Saturn! 

BAD: Why? This match, though good, lacks any kind of storyline. Without a back story, what compels the fans to cheer for one or the other. Besides, this is a face/face booking. WCW has got to start booking face/heel matches. 

GOOD: Rey's knees seem O.K.

BAD: Konnan is back. Oh God, no.

GOOD: Great match. The presence of the Revolution and the Filthy Animals at ringside ensure a clean finish and kept me from flipping during this segment.

BAD: A commercial during the match! Dammit, WCW!

GREAT: That T-Bone superplex that Saturn delivered on Eddie. I sat up for that one.

BAD: I hate those stupid lighting effects during Berlyn's entrance. Has anyone attended a live show when they did this? Does it hurt the eyes or what?

BAD: Ever notice how long it takes for WCW wrestlers to make their way to the ring? They run a whole match start to finish on WWF in the time it takes Buff to strut down the aisle, pose, and lock up for the first time.

BAD: Alex Wright...er...Berlyn's skin. Get some sun, you fucking ghost. You're as white as my socks.

BAD: They have already ruined Berlyn after just one match. I have seen most of his match against Duggan. It was worse than you can possibly imagine. The Bagwell match should have taken place as scheduled. Rumor has it that Buff and the bookers didn't think that the feud had been given enough time to properly develop, so they decided to throw Duggan in there instead. If that were the case, what's with booking it for the next day? Obviously, their reasoning for the substitution was total bullshit. Who loses? The fans, and the character of Berlyn. The problem with first impressions is that you only get one chance to make them. Too bad, Alex. Back to the drawing board. 

BAD: Bagwell hits a modified Blockbuster bud does not cover. ???

BAD: Berlyn's finishing move. Man, it's sloppy. What a crappy match.

GOOD: At least Buff lost. Did anyone else catch him yell, "Fuck!" twice when he got pinned?

BAD: The Sting montage which tries to convince us that the past 10 years as a face was leading up to this heel turn. Come on, WCW! How fucking stupid do you think your fans are. Another thing that bugs me is Tony constantly ramming the "evil Sting" down our throat. At one point he even used the term "black hearted champion." This was handled very poorly. Sting did not need to turn heel just because he turned on Hogan. The storyline could have Sting decide that he is sick of being screwed over and never getting a real decent title run, so he changes his tactics a little. Sting attacking Hogan with a bat isn't all that unbelievable. It's far easier to swallow than Hogan and Sting being best buddies because Hulk found his yellow tights one day. Frankly, I don't think it's going to work. The fans will boo Hogan and cheer Sting, I just know it. We're just going to have to wait and see.

BAD: Buffer calls Luger's finisher the "Torture Rack of Doom." Uh...of doom? Does Buffer improvise this shit, or what?

GOOD: No individual entrances tonight. The teams came out together. Interesting concept.

GREAT: The Hitman is back in the ring! Once he gets done here, the next thing he should do is go and get his US Title back.

GOOD: Hart has little or no ring rust. He and Sting are burning up the arena! That double clothesline looked great!

GOOD: Because of Hart and Sting, this match is actually quite good.

UGLY: That bat shot to Hart's face. It looked dangerously close to his eye.

BAD: Jobbing Hart on his first day back in the ring since his brother's death. What would have been the harm of booking a win for him?

BAD: What happened to the million dollar giveaway. Did I blink and miss it?

OVERALL: The first hour was awesome, until Rachtman showed up. I have heard that the Nitro Girls are on the outs, so why bother with this stupid search. They didn't even perform all night. The second hour was very slow and essentially belonged to Sid. Joy. The third hour picked up a bit, but the show never got back to the level it was after Flair was taken out. If they circle the wagons, and get the right people going in the ring, they could gain some headway. I give them a month, if they don't turn around by then, it's all over.

WWF

BAD: Linda McMahon's on-screen personality. She seems to be having a tough time adjusting to being on camera. I'm not sure where the cue card or teleprompter are, but they have to be somewhere, judging from the pauses in her interview.

GOOD: She can only get better.

GOOD: The booking of HHH versus Austin. Hey WCW! Are you watching this? They don't need to wait until a PPV to have these two go at it. We get a taste tonight and it will leave us hungering for more. That's why the PPV buyrates for WWF are through the roof and WCW's suck raccoon tail. It's so simple, it's frightening.

BAD: Linda should have listened to the Stooges. Poor old guys took a beating because she was too stubborn to take their advice.

GOOD: HHH and his security force. This is what being a heel is about. It's about having so many people after you, you need protection. DiBiase did it with Andre and Virgil, HBK did it with Diesel, Flair did it with the Horsemen, Hogan did it with the NWO. HHH is doing it in his own way, without a stable to back him up. I love it.

GOOD: Is it me, or is Chyna looking hot tonight?

BAD: Why are The Undertaker and The Big Show allowing security to hold them back? They could waste these guys with ease. Wight knocked over a ring and tore down the Titantron for crying out loud!

GOOD: Ah, that's why. The Rock, Mankind, and Kane are all choreographed to get in at once! The resulting brawl was great, with HHH slithering out, leaving the TBS, Rock, Mankind, and UT in the ring to duke it out.

BAD: I would have liked it more if the five of them put aside their differences for 5 minutes to beat the hell out of Helmsley together. Ah, well. Maybe next week.

GOOD: Rocky and Mankind still (kind of) together.

BAD: Moolah getting blasted by the guitar and Mae Young getting the figure four by Jeff Jarrett on Smackdown. Beating up old people isn't cool. It was tough to watch, although I did see these two taking beatings on a Daily Show interview a few months back. 

GOOD: It certainly does make Jarrett into a monster heel in short order. Even I was screaming for his blood.

BAD: During his interview, Rock didn't do any impressions. I was hoping for at least one.

GOOD: Did anyone else catch Mick chanting the Rock's name?

GOOD: Mankind tops the Rock's time by reversing all The Great One's catchphrases. If "It doesn't matter how I feel!" didn't cause at least  yelp of amusement for you, just turn on Nitro and watch Sid instead because this stuff is wasted on you. Foley is God.

GOOD: The ladies of WWF. Miss Kitty's skirt is slit to the waist. Debra fills out that suit better than ever. Even Lillian Garcia is looking quite hot tonight. Wow. WWF sure knows how to use beautiful women. Meanwhile, WCW has three of the most voluptuous valets in the business in Torrie Wilson, Chastity, and Gorgeous George and they're nowhere to be seen. What gives?

GOOD: Likewise the way WWF uses its female wrestlers. Ivory, Torrie, Jackie, and Luna have all put on great matches and are recognized for their great in-ring skills. Meanwhile, The WCW has Mona and she hasn't been seen in a month. Give her some good competition and I'll tune in every week. 

BAD: Lillian still sucks as a ring announcer.

GOOD: Luna versus Jarrett! Yes, I like Luna. I think she and Ivory are going to put on one hell of a match at Unforgiven.

BAD: She nearly gave herself two black eyes running to the ring. Wow. Them's real.

GOOD: Jarrett is just brutal to Luna. Holy God. At least he's consistent. It looks like he's dropping the title to Chyna at the PPV. 

BAD: Luna is a tough cookie. She should be allowed more offense than she gets here.

GOOD: Great booking having Ivory take Luna out with the guitar. First of all, it heats up their feud. Second, it pisses Jarrett off by having him drop the match on a DQ. Luna saves face while pushing two storylines forward. Gotta love WWF bookers.

GOOD: Lillian Garcia selling Jarrett's figure four. Hey! We found something that her voice is good for! Screaming! As an added plus, she's gone for the rest of the night. 

GOOD: Chyna smacking Terry Taylor. I just like seeing the Rooster getting whacked now and again. 

BAD: I just reread the above comment...please take it only literally.

BAD: Weak strap shots from D'Von to Faarouq. He must have heard JR's comment about how it can rip you to shreds and decided to go easy on the big man.

GOOD: The Dudleys taking out the Acolytes, if only momentarily. 

GOOD: The nonchalant way Buh Buh Ray grabbed the stairs and then slammed them into the approaching Bradshaw was classic! Looked good, too.

GOOD: UT's new look. The biker thing suits him.

BAD: Where are the Tag Team Championship belts?

GOOD: The Undertaker calling HHH such an endangered species that the Crocodile Hunter can't even save him. Maybe he'll stick his thumb up HHH's ass, by Cracky!

?: Not sure how I feel about the Bulldog being back. I wonder if a World Title run is in his contract? If it is, it's gonna take him a while as long as he's feuding with Bossman.

BAD: Speaking of which, Davey Boy Smith and Ray Traylor? Let's set the wayback machine to 1987.

BAD: What ever happened to those interviews with The Bulldog and his wife?

GOOD: Al Snow's new "no valet" image. I'm sick of Heads and dogs. His character has been established, just let him wrestle.

GOOD: A dog cage match at Unforgiving. That sounds cool!

GOOD: Those rottweilers were gorgeous animals.

GOOD: Lawler on Bossman: "Hey! Cops don't eat donuts."

INTERESTING: Dennis Miller at ringside. He must be looking for more guests for his show. I wonder if he'll get the figure 4 leg lock too?

BAD: The Posse and Test Feud. I though this shit was done with. How many times does he have to beat Joey Abs?

GOOD: Shane getting laid out by the posse. It refreshes the angle just a bit.

BAD: We didn't actually see it happen, right? What does that tell you? 

BAD: Joey Abs gets in the ring and calls out Test. Uh, this is obviously a booked match because the ring announcer has a card which lists Test's weight. Calling someone out during a scheduled match is akin to ordering a meal at the McDonald's drive thru and asking for it "to go."

BAD: We've seen this match before, so obviously Shane is going to play a part in it. I am going to take a wild guess and say that Shane will...uh...mmm...er...help Test.

BAD: Sign: "Mr. Test-ickles." So disturbing, I need to brush my teeth.

GOOD: Test's full nelson bomb on Abs. As Darth Vader would say, "Impressive."

BAD: Whattaya know? Here's Shane. Predictability is the enemy, WWF.

GOOD: Shane's spear on Joey Abbs and Rodney. Wow! He must have gotten pointers from Edge.

UGLY: Test's kick to Pete Gas's chest. Holy shit!

GOOD: Stone Cold is back in the ring. Hopefully, the guy won't get hurt even worse since they accelerated his recovery time to help patch dipping ratings.

BAD: Why is the title match happening at 10 p.m.?

BAD: Another arrest angle? Stone Cold would end up in the slammer for years if he really had so may repeat offenses. Look at Dr. Death, he misses a few child support payments and he's already looking at time in the pen.

BAD: HHH should have been arrested for hitting Stone Cold while he was in custody. I know this is all "entertainment" and we should allow the willing suspension of disbelief, but the rules they set there just don't make sense. If Austin can get arrested for assault on HHH, then HHH should be in jail for breaking Jim Ross's arm, no? This is one place where WWF needs to improve, they need to get some sort of standard in their angles and stick by it. Otherwise, it starts to get as silly as the mystery of the hummer driver.

GOOD: Now we know why this match was scheduled so early. An hour is enough time for Stone Cold to get out of jail and in the ring. WWF will deliver this match, I know it.

GOOD: The Godfather is back! This guy is a lot of fun, and he's not terrible in the ring either.

BETTER: The hos are back too. Could those skirts be any shorter? Jerry Lawler thinks so.

BAD: The hos can't seem to get in rhythm with the music. It must be because those tight clothes are cutting off the circulation to their brains.

GOOD: The Godfather calling for a "real rasslin' match." Ha! What are the odds?

GOOD: They actually deliver until...

BAD: Marianna has to interfere again.

GOOD: Interesting angle, having Marianna sporting a black eye. This is dangerous ground to tread. Let's hope WWF is up to it.

INTERESTING: The Godfather, a pimp, being pissed that a guy hit his girlfriend. Heart of gold, huh? That's Hollywood for you.

GOOD: Jericho is in the arena for a RAW show! Wow!

BAD: Gotch Gracey? What the hell?

BAD: This whole spot was sloppy and pointless. This is the first time that Jericho has bored me. Even the crowd was dead silent. The only part of it that I liked was Jericho's impression of Shamrock.

BAD: Does anyone really remember Curtis Hughes?

UGLY: The puss on Curtis' face. Is he imitating Stevie Ray?

GOOD: The five-way World Title contender match. This is PPV-quality booking.

BAD: Why does Mankind always get in the ring with Show and Taker before The Rock arrives. He should have learned by now that it's a bad idea.

GOOD: Action is fast and furious and the fans love it. Even though the thing turns into a total train wreck with WCW referees and officials getting tuned and eventually becoming a locker room emptying brawl, it served its purpose, furthered an angle or two, and got the crowd on its feet.

BAD: Poor Tony Garea and Sgt. Slaughter. These two get beat up almost as much as Briscoe and Patterson.

GOOD: Crash Holly versus The Big Show. Raise your hand if you busted a gut like I did.

BAD: They cut away just when the action got really hot! 

BAD: There was no winner of the match.

GOOD: The injured referees in the room together. It was like that famous scene in "Gone With the Wind" where all the soldiers lie wounded and dying in the field. Odd comparison, I know, but hey, it occurred to me.

GOOD: The quick ending to the match still leaves time for that Austin/HHH title match.

GOOD: D'Lo's reaction to the Godfather's prices.

BAD: Val Venis and D'Lo versus Blackman and Mark Henry? Didn't we see this match last night?

GOOD: GTV of Sexual Chocolate with the hos. Some things are just funny. This was one of them.

GOOD: Anyone else notice that Val and D'Lo make a damn good team? Too bad it's probably going to be a temporary alliance.

BAD: More of Linda McMahon looking doe eyed to the advances of HHH and Chyna. Wow, this is almost painful to watch.

AWESOME: Vinny Mac is back to defend his wife and single-handedly causes the entire arena and millions of people around the world mark out like nuts. He hasn't lost a step. He turns on the fury and brings it across like a pro! Welcome back Vince. We've missed you big time.

GOOD: Breaking glass = title match just as I expected. WWF delivers where WCW flounders.

BAD: Austin beating HHH all over the arena. Hunter should have had some kind of offense. He is the champion, after all.

OVERALL: Decent offering. The returns of Vince and Austin could spell disaster for the already hurting WCW. More consistent angle development down the line is really all the WWF needs right now. Also, Jericho needs to drop the Hughes angle immediately as it will drag him down. If he's going to have a sidekick, a guy like Finkle is the best he can do. Other than these small points, I'd say the WWF is as strong as ever.

That's it for this week. Write me at michaelangelo70@hotmail.com. Let me know what you think. All letters are either answered personally or printed out and cut into snowflakes. Until next week, may the Bird of Paradise drop a blue surprise in your orange juice.

I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.