Hi-dely Ho-dely wrestlefanaroonies. It's Michaelangelo here to spin another week of ups, downs, and grotesques spewed from the minds of Uncle Eric and Vinnie Mac. Interesting shows this week, so much so that perhaps there's a few more GOOD's in there than normal. What do you think?

Ummmm...naah!

Before we get started, I'd like to say a few words about a subject which has really been getting under my skin lately, Sid Eudy.

No, I'm not going to harp on his stupid win-loss record, or the fact that he keeps interrupting matches for no good reason.

There's plenty of time for that later.

I am talking about Sid's presence in WCW. For the few who do not know, he and Arn Anderson had something of a scuffle in a London hotel room some years ago (9/19/93 to be exact) involving a pair of scissors. When the dust cleared, Arn was cut up pretty badly, requiring a multitude of stitches, and Sid was fried from WCW.

It was assumed for may years that as long as The Enforcer was employed by WCW, Sid wouldn't be. 

Until just a few months ago. 

What really bugs me about this is the fact that Sid is undergoing "la pusha grande." A push so great, it is reserved only for a guy like "The (not Undertaker) Phenom" known as Goldberg. In fact, Sid got something that eluded Big Bill, a clean pin over franchise player, Sting. 

My question simply is, "Why?" Why is a guy who nearly killed one of the business's oldest and most respected men not only rehired, but positioned as one of the federation's top heels?

Before you say, "Oh it was a long time ago." or "What he does in the ring has nothing to do with what happened in London six years ago." think about this:

Let' s say you work at Wendy's and one of your co-workers shoves your face into the fryolator. He's fired and you work your way up the chain to shift supervisor. Then one day, you punch in to work to discover your former assailant is two levels above you and has his eye on that new broiler the restaurant just got. How would you feel?

Exactly. It would suck.

Just as I feel this situation sucks. Maybe Sid is good for WCW. Maybe he's getting over with the fans. Maybe he's gonna help bring the ratings up a bit and increase buyrates on PPV's. 

It still doesn't make it right. 

Bottom line is this, Bischoff might as well shit right on Arn's head by hiring Sid back. It's really sad that a guy who uses scissors as a weapon can be treated so well, while guys like Arn Anderson and Ric Flair struggle to maintain dignity in the twilight of their careers.

Ah well. On with the countdown.

Mail Sack!

A funny thing happened this week. It seem that on the heels of the debut of "Mail Sack!" my readers (both of them) seem to have gotten tight lipped in terms of feedback.

In other words, the sack is empty this week.

Well, now. Either I'm not being controversial enough or you guys are just too unmotivated to send mail. Either way, I'm left with no E-mail. 

In order to spur you lords and ladies on, I will give you all a topic to chew on. Perhaps that will increase the flow of letters and this loyal writer can finally go to bed happy.

Here's the topic: Which current WCW, WWF, and/or ECW wrestlers do you see as the future starts of this great sport?

Take a few minutes to meditate on that one and then jot your thoughts down and send them off to michaelangelo70@hotmail.com and I will print every one I get right here next week. Promise.

Okay, then, let's hit the old silk and see what's what this week.

The Good, Bad, and Ugly for September 6, 1999

WCW

GOOD: They started with the proper opening instead of an obvious throwaway match like last week. 

BAD: That weird sound problem is right there again to start the show.

BAD: The look on Heenan's face during the opening shot of the announce team. I am convinced that Tony is sucking the marrow out of the Brain's soul. His expression is kind of like the way your dog looks at you when you leave him in the kennel before a vacation. My heart goes out to poor Bobby.

GOOD: We start out with The Hitman! Wow! WCW delivers on one of Bob Ryder's promises. It's a fine, fine day!

GOOD: Brett does not dance around. He goes straight for the jugular and asks for a shot at Hogan. I wonder when we'll get it.

BAD: Probably not for a while. Tony says that he'll keep us up to date over the next few weeks as this story develops. If this were WWF, we'd get it tonight, Thursday at the latest.

UNEQUIVOCALLY BAD: Rikki Rachtman is back. Holy shit, does Bischoff even LISTEN to the fans? We hate this guy. We hate his shirt, his hair, and his unsuccessful attempt to come across as a 20-year-old. Get a clue, WCW, we don't want to see him on Nitro. He comes out and basically apologizes for his presence and tries to get cheap heat by introducing the n-n-n-n-n-Nitro Girls. The girls get heat, he gets ICE COLD. My dream match = a shoot tag match, Rachtman and Hervey versus Goldberg and Ken Shamrock. Ah, sweet carnage.

BAD: Does anyone really care about the search for a new Nitro Girl? Look, if want T&A, I'll tune into Skin-emax after Nitro is over. The lat thing I want to hear is how dedicated these malnourished, spoiled girls are. Yes, the Nitro girls are hot women, I like them as much as the next guy, but having them involved in a ten minute segment on a WRESTLING show is just too much. WCW cannot beat WWF in the cheesecake department, so let them dance for 45 seconds at a time and be done with it!

GOOD: Bobby Heenan on the search for a new Nitro Girl: "I think that's a job for me."

UGLY: Lenny's cut-offs. Yegads.

BAD: ValVenis.com signs right at the point where the wrestlers enter the arena. Ha! They didn't last long, did they. Did you ever notice that you NEVER see WCW signs at RAW tapings?

GOOD:  Lenny and Lodi. I am starting to lighten up towards their stick. It's actually be quite funny lately...funny enough to make me laugh out loud. Plus, they seem to be exhibiting some decent in-ring skills. I think my finger might be less likely to switch the channel on these two for the next couple of weeks.

BAD: Obvious fan plant in the ring hitting Lenny with the 'Lodi Rules" sign and being pulled into the ringside area. I am not sure what this was meant to accomplish, but I hope real fans start beating the superstars with their signs. Why not? They already throw soda at them.

GOOD: Little Evan's top-rope plancha. Very impressive.

BAD: Vampiro "mesmerizing" Evan Kariagas. I know his gimmick is being a vampire, but that's just stupid. You don't see Gangrel sucking blood, do you? And he has fangs!

BAD: DJ Ran and the lame ass sound that he garners as a "pop." What's it gonna take to get rid of this guy for good? Dead silence? Heavy weaponry? Good God...I give up.

BAD: So few signs in the crowd about wrestlers...at least WCW wrestlers.

UGLY: The wrinkles all over Hogan's face. During some of those close-ups I thought I was looking at a road map of Cleveland.

BAD: Hogan saying, "As long as I'm red and yellow, I'm true to the cause." Does that mean, all he has to do when he wants to engage in nasty behavior is change his clothes? Wow! So maybe he did drive the hummer, but he had on an Oakland Raider's uniform at the time, so it doesn't count.

BAD: Hogan does not address Brett Hart's challenge in his interview. No, let's talk more about that fucking hummer than addressing a really cool challenge made at the top of the program.

BAD: Smackdown ad airing during Nitro. Hee hee.

BAD: Barry Horowitz versus Al Green? Oh my God. Is this Nitro? Did it suddenly become WCW Worldwide all of a sudden?

BAD: This match is Sid bait. I cant at home along with the crowd, "We want Sid."

GOOD: Horowitz's classic heel tactics. It was like watching WWF Saturday morning television in 1982 all over again.

BAD: The Maestro. I already hate this guy. What the fuck is the point of this segment? Sid rushes in and beats on the two jobbers while this big blond bozo plays a piano that's suspended over the arena. I'm done trying to understand WCW...done, I tells ya'!

BAD: Benoit versus Sid. There's no way Benoit is going to break Sid's winning streak, so what purpose does this serve? Sid does not need the US Title. He is over without it. If Benoit drops the title to him, the fans will hate it...and WCW. Benoit is doing well. He's a great champ, let's let him keep the belt for a while. Wishful thinking. Here's something in advance, Bischoff: "Fuck you."

GOOD: Vincent as a member of the West Texas Rednecks. Given the right gimmick, this guy is funny...as long as he doesn't wrestle. When he came into the WTR locker room, didn't you all think that for a moment, before he was completely visible, that it was Dustin Runnels? Ha! Good swerve by WCW...I'll give you this one.

BAD: Harlem Heat. I am beginning to see what the other Internet writers are saying in terms of Stevie Ray bringing Booker down. He lacks the energy he had as a singles contender.

BAD: Their interview. Mean Gene kept stepping on their lines and got in the way of Booker's "roof-raising" moment and dropped the microphone. Also, Booker said a whole lot of nothing in a long period of time, "We're gonna burn this mother up, we're gonna turn this mother out, we're gonna tear the roof off, we're gonna peel this potato good, we're gonna smell each other's farts deep." Okay, I made up the last two, but what the hell? Between every line he said "If you know what I'm saying." No, Booker, we don't.

GOOD: Stevie Ray cracking up while trying to hold his "badass" face. Even he can't keep a straight face.

BAD: The backstage Hart/Hogan/Sting/Luger clusterfuck. It was confusing and poorly planned. I thought Hogan was "sick of the mysteries." Now we have a whodunit on our hands!

GOOD: As bad as it was, it did advance the angle. That's commendable.

BAD: The 12-man battle royal that contained 11 men. This is the kind of lame-ass oversight that makes Nitro look like a bush league organization.

BAD: The winner of the battle royal gets a shot at the World Title. Big fat hairy deal. We all know that there isn't a man involved in that match that WCW would even CONSIDER giving a title run. Essentially, the prize for winning this match is a chance to job to Hogan or Sting next Monday. Ooh! Sign me up!

GOOD: In spite of this, the match wasn't bad, as far as battle royals go. I actually liked it. There was lots of action and, if you think about it, you have some of the fed's best guys in there going at each other. It can't be all bad.

AWESOME: Benoit versus Malenko for a title shot! This is an Internet smart's match made in heaven.

BAD: I am sure that WCW will find a way to fuck this one up.

GOOD: Cat-Bo. Okay, this made me laugh. The Cat is a decent stick worker, but his in-ring skills need serious honing. The testimonies split screen with shots of the cat verbally or physically berating his students was pretty damned funny. Let's not run this thing as much as Konnan's videos, though.

BAD: The second I saw Johnny Swinger making his way to the ring, I though, "Sid." When I Saw Prince Iaukea, I knew.

BAD: WCW Mayhem countdown. Anyone who has had nay contact with the video game retail industry knows that release dates are NEVER to be trusted...watch for the clock to be reset a couple of times!

BAD: While we are on the subject, where the hell does Tony get off telling us that this new game will "redefine wrestling games" as we know them? What the hell does he know about playing these games? Fuck you, Tony. I dare you to come to my house and take me on in a game of WCW/NWO Revenge. If you win, I'll apologize. If I win, I get your job. Let's go!

BAD: More Schiavone crap, I'm afraid. Did anyone else catch him flub the play by play so badly that the Brain had to come in and save him? he screwed up the names, the move, and the outcome. It was a three-car pileup.

BAD: "We want Sid" chant again. Bischoff probably thinks that this means "Sid is over." The fans know that this means, "Please stop this match, we are dying of boredom and want our money back unless we see some guy get dropped on his head right now."

GOOD:  Not Sid, Vampiro. At least they are mixing up their run-ins. I just hope that they move this angle along a bit faster.

BAD: Once again, Vampiro is not actually wrestling. What's the holdup? He's there, book him!

GOOD: Berlyn's backstage segment. In spite of the crowd's hooting and hollering, Berlyn made another good appearance. I especially like the way Buff took umbrage at what Berlyn said to him, even though it was in German and he probably didn't understand a word of it.

GOOD: Regal's "hold up the puffy sleeve to make it look like a big muscle" routine. I know I mentioned it before, but it bears mentioning again. He's too funny.

BAD: He has to job to Buff Bagwell.

BAD: No Berlyn run-in or appearance during the match to further the heat for the match on Sunday. Details, WCW, details.

BAD: Buff on the stick after the match. His USA crap was a lame attempt to garner cheap heat and made little sense anyway. All he needs is a 2x4 and...okay, I won't say it. 

GOOD: Juvy dressed like Kidman. I'm not sure why they did it, but it was funny.

GOOD: Psychosis and Blitzkrieg! Nuff said.

GOOD: Versus Eddie Guerrero, Chavo, and Kidman. Does this mean Chavo is in the Filthy Animals now?

BAD: Heenan hyping the main event by saying that DDP and Hogan have not been near each other since DDP broke Hogan's knee a few months back. Uh, last week, they were booked in a tag match against each other...I think that counts.

GOOD: Back to the match. Lots of great spots. Awesome high risk moves. These guys were really on their game tonight.

BAD: Why does everyone insist on trying to power bomb Kidman? It only works if you are a booker. Otherwise, don't try it. maybe there's a pool in the back for the first guy to successfully power bomb him. The midcarders all put a dollar in every match. It must be up over $100,000 by now.

BAD: Shane Douglas versus Kendall Windham. Talk about a total lack of heat. I had to put on an extra pair of socks jut to watch this match. If Douglas doesn't change his ways soon, he may freeze to death right in the center of the ring.

BAD: In addition to missing the Pittsburgh Plunge during the actual match (the cameras were following action outside of the ring at the time),  the replay showed that the Referee was counting in a place where it was totally impossible to see Windham's shoulders...and unless my eyes deceive me, Douglas's shoulders were down too. Hmmm. Here's something to try for fun, see how many other refs do the same thing.

BAD: WCW needs to offer $1,000,000 as a prize for fans watching their programming. Oh, no, they've taken to bribing people to try and get viewers.

BAD: Does everyone have to say "One Million Dollars" like Dr. Evil? It's getting to be as bad as "Show me the money!"

BAD: Shilling Ric Flair's tape, which depicts the man as a legend, when he is being treated so shoddily by the WCW.

UGLY: Barry Windham's gut.

BAD: Berlyn interview. There was some sort of confusion about who challenged who first. Berlyn says that he challenged Buff early in the evening. Mean Gene claims that Buff challenged Berlyn after his match. I am confused to no ends. Didn't Berlyn come out last week and say his target was Buff? Jesus, even the wrestlers are losing their grip on angle consistency.

BAD: Uda Ludendorf's mic work. She makes Torrie Wilson look like Meryl Streep. This woman is reading off a teleprompter, and it's obvious. Learn your lines beforehand or get the hell out of here.

BAD: Sid's record is supposed to be 77-0? Okay...didn't he LOSE on Thunder just the other day? A DQ loss is still one in the old "L" column. Too bad, so sad, bye bye.

BAD: I don't understand why every match is based on that Battle Royal earlier. What are these guys fighting for, anyway? 

GOOD: They aren't terrible matches. 

GOOD: Saturn beating Hugh Morrus with the Rings of Saturn. We haven't seen that one in a long time.

AWESOME: Benoit versus Malenko. When's the last time you heard a WCW crowd applaud? These two guys were just phenomenal. The first two minutes alone was better than anything I have seen in either federation this year.

HORRIFICALLY, MONSTROUSLY, BITE-IN-THE-ASS AWFUL: Sid's interruption. Even Tony Schiavone was pissed. Why the fuck did they have to send that big son of a bitch in? I'll tell you, because the fans liked it and WCW can't have happy fans, no matter what. Fuck you WCW! Fuck you Eric Bischoff or whoever booked that steaming pile of dog shit!

GOOD: Benoit actually getting the better of Sid. Plus the fact that in order to curb the outrage, they are giving Benoit his shot on Monday.

BAD: Whether Benoit gets a shot or not is irrelevant. We wanted to see the match played out to a clean finish. I'd rather see Benoit/Malenko than Benoit/Hogan or Benoit/Sid any day.

BAD: What a surprise, Hogan in the main event. Oh goodness! He's putting himself over by teaming with Goldberg. Even the ref wasn't sure the match was supposed to end...did he count a full three? I am so pissed about the outcome to the last match that nothing could possibly make me feel better.

GOOD: Okay, maybe one. Sting and Luger finally coming to blows. It's about time.

BAD: They cut just when it was heating up.

OVERALL: The show wasn't terrible, but they screwed the fans over so badly by hyping that Malenko/Benoit match to death and then not delivering on it, that it brings the entire show and company down. Why is it that WCW insists on cutting off its nose to spite its face? I hope that Benoit goes to WWF when his contract is up and becomes as big a star as Jericho. I'm still pissed. That's all I have to say.

WWF

GOOD: Tag Team title match right off the bat. Rock and Mankind at the top of the program. WCW who?

GOOD: I don't mean to be repetitive, but the Rock and Mankind are two of the best guys on the stick, and they complement each other well. Hey, funny is funny. I laughed. I was entertained. A job well done.

GOOD: HHH coming down to partner with Kane in an attempt to win more gold. It is intriguing enough to catch my interest.

BAD: Unless it leads to a title change.

GOOD: Kane's refusal to work with HHH at all. It looked like a rehash of the X-Pac/Kane saga. Good to see that WWF uses consistency in their angles and remembers that HHH and Chyna screwed Kane over and it would be stupid to assume they'd help each other. What a concept!

GREAT: Do you realize that in the first 10 minutes of RAW, we saw the WWF Heavyweight Champ HHH, the tag team champs Mankind and The Rock, Chyna, and Kane? They just sent out the top active stars to begin the show! WCW, you guys are toast.

UGLY: The sledgehammer shots on Kane. I know it's fake, but damn!

GOOD: UT and Big Show making the save for Kane. It adds depth to the character development of the Big Red Machine. He's left in the lurch by X-Pac and helped by two men that he hates...the later shot of him sitting alone in the dark just pushed that even further. If I didn't know better, I'd say that Vince McMahon was trying to tell a story here.

GOOD: Jarrett versus Jacqueline. It shows that Jarrett will not pull his punches on Chyna when they meet in the ring. Kudos to Jackie for taking some man-sized bumps.

BAD: Jackie on the stick...she's a great looking woman, but she needs some acting lessons. 

GOOD: She's got a better voice than Sable.

BAD: Jarrett seemed awfully brutal. I was a little disturbed by the whole thing.

GOOD: Jarrett is finally getting heel heat. Debra's absence seemed to help that a bit.

GOOD: Val Venis in a new feud with Blackman. Valbowski is a great talent in the ring and out and Blackman is developing nicely. I like seeing both these guys in a good midcard storyline. Hopefully they'll make an IC title or European Title run soon.

GOOD: WWF doesn't mind identifying the Dudleys as having been former ECW champs. Now that's the way to put a newly signed talent over. If WCW had done the same with Shane Douglas, maybe his matches would sound a little less like "nap time" at a kindergarten class.

GOOD: The Acolytes versus Christian and Edge. These four guys are among the best in the business. I can watch them a million times and not get sick of it.

BAD: Are the Acolytes really acolytes anymore? Shouldn't they consider a new gimmick now that they are out of the UT's shadow?

GOOD: Not only do Edge and Christian win, but Christian gets the pin (instead of being pinned)!

GOOD: The Dudleys starting a program with Farouk and Bradshaw. These four guys could put on some serious matches. I look forward to each and every one.

GOOD: GTV in the men's room. I swear I laughed my ass off when Show slammed Venis into the bathroom stall after he insulted TBS's...uh...manhood. Crude, vulgar, disgusting, toilet humor...but I just loved it.

GOOD: Meat losing the "Meat " gimmick. Let's just see what Sean Stasiak can do. If he does the "heart punch," I will pop big time.

BAD: Venis calling out The Big Show. Is he crazy?

GOOD: The match itself. Venis really made Wight watchable. His selling skills are just incredible. 

GOOD: The Dudleys' interview. They're already proving to be more entertaining than half of WCW's roster.

BAD: Howard Finkle and Lillian Garcia not coming to blows. Call me a letch, but I wouldn't have minded an impromptu Tuxedo/Evening Gown match between these two. It might have made up for us having to see The Fink in his underwear last week.

GOOD: Jericho's pop. WWF World Heavyweight Champ within two years.

BAD: Jericho not in the arena.

GOOD: Chyna and HHH's entrance. The music, lighting, and gait are all very sinister. It suits their characters.

BAD: Still no mention of Shawn Michaels and his heel turn. Are they going to go any further with this? It would certainly make sense. It's not like the WWF to drop angles like this. 

BAD:  Is Mr. Ass making a face turn? I hope not, the WWF needs more good heels like him.

?: Terri with the Mean Street Posse? Uh...okay.

GOOD: Terri's outfit. Yow.

GOOD: Brisco and Patterson doing their Hogan routine to his old music. They seem to be getting more mileage out of Hulkamania that Hogan is.

GOOD:  Test. Here's another future champ...although he may need a repackaging. The Diesel look just sets him up for comparison to Nash.

AWESOME: Test's top rope elbow! Good Lord! He jumped 3/4 of the way across the ring! When's the last time you saw Kevin Nash do that?

UGLY: Brisco and Patterson after the match. These two old guys better calm down or they'll drop dead right there in the ring.

GOOD: The Hollys. Aside from the fact that Crash needs tights with his name on them, I wouldn't change a thing about these guys.

BAD: Except for the anorexia jokes...not funny guys.

BAD:  The new Brood doesn't use Gangrel's music. His entrance theme is my favorite. I hope they start using it again.

GOOD: The whole "weighing" their opponents before a match work. It was funny, gave Holly some extra time on the stick, and set the match up for a great start.

GOOD: These four guys put on a great match. Crash sold like a champ.

BAD: Sorry to see the Hardys lose again. they deserve better, Gangrel too.

GOOD:  The return of the BLOODBATH! Hardcore's reaction to his cousin's predicament was funny too, as was the subsequent brawl.

GOOD: Al Snow and his multiple personality complex. The whole Avatar thing was quite funny and seemed to poke a little bit of fun at Hogan's recent gimmick revival. Where do these guys come up with this stuff? 

GOOD: The Rock's impression of TBS and UT. Dead on!

GOOD: WWF setting up a bunch of stuff to happen on Thursday Night. They hyped Austin's appearance, Y2J versus Shamrock, and a Tag Title Buried Alive match. How many matches for Thunder did WCW hype...I'll give you a guess, it rhymes with "DONE."

GOOD: D'Lo Brown! I missed him these last couple of weeks.

GOOD:  Marc Henry building heat for his feud with D'Lo. It's way early too. They have a long way to go before the next PPV.

GOOD: The Lo-Down. Great hang time.

GOOD: The Women's Hardcore match. Aside from the tampons being involved, these two women have shown that they can compete with the big boys every step of the way.

BAD: Luna's not involved.

BAD: Doesn't Torri have her old ring attire? She's wearing the same getup she did for the Evening Gown match on Thursday.

UGLY: The mirror over Torri's head. I heard that after the cameras stopped rolling, there was some glass stuck in Torri's mouth that caused quite a bit of blood. Just a bit too far, maybe?

GOOD: Giving Mr. Ass a main event. He's another great in-ring performer that is really headed for greatness. The match he and HHH put on was great with a lot of near falls to pepper the action.

BAD: Mr. Ass really screwed up the Fame-asser. He barely touched Hunter with it.

GOOD: Kane's attack on the heels. No wimpy chokeslam for Chyna tonight! 

GOOD: The implication that Kane may be the next World Heavyweight Title contender. He's over enough and good enough in the ring. Let's see what happens.

OVERALL: I thought it was a great RAW. Lots of good matches, storyline movement, and character development. The Rock and Mankind set the crowd on fire and it kept burning all night long. The women put on an awesome show as did HHH and Mr. Ass. Austin's absence was barely felt tonight. The WWF is doing well and I don't see them slowing down anytime soon.

Well, that's it. Short closer tonight as I am finishing this very late. Write me at michaelangelo70@hotmail.com. All letters will be answered or shot on sight.

I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.