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Michaelangelo

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THE GOOD, BAD, AND UGLY FOR 9/18/2000

Happy Birthday Cyan Indigo! Kisses and hugs can be sent here.

Hey everyone. Michaelangelo here once again, but barely. It's been a rough couple of weeks. My trip to San Francisco was great, but the business part of it was as dry as the Sahara. Imagine about 400 or so computer analysts in one place. Brrr!

Well while I was gone, I managed to grab my e-mail and found a letter that really piqued my interest.

You see, I get quite a few e-mails every week, some flattering, some suggestive, some funny.

This message was none of the above. It was critical to the point of being insulting and honestly, if only for a moment, it made me wonder why I take the time to write the GBU at all. Some of the adjectives used to describe me and my work were "insipid," "retarded," "stupid," and "mind numbing." He also accused me of being "on some kind of medication" and said I was "the least insightful person on the Internet."

Wow. Pulling no punches there.

Now I do not write this to invoke sympathy. Certainly not. Internet writers like Scott Keith, Hyatte, and CRZ get their share of hate mail and truth be told, they are the inspiration for my work. Perhaps their skins have hardened over the years and I need to take a cue from them.

The reason I mention it is to get it out of my system. Confess it to you all and shake the anger and frustration out. I accept that not everyone likes me or this column, but there are a lot of people out there who understand what I am doing and enjoy it. It is for these people that I came back and keep coming back each week.

So like me or hate me, I am staying here for as long as I want to and as long as people keep reading.

For the record, I am not stupid, insipid, or retarded. Aside for the occasional aspirin, I do not take medication. My insight is valid and respected and although I don't claim to be the premiere wrestling resource, at least I take the time to write a column that people do like to read.

Put simply, if you don't like this coumn, don't read it. If you insist on reading anyway, well, don't come crying to me.

Dig?

And on with the shows.

The Good, Bad, and Ugly for Monday, September 18, 2000

WCW NITRO

GOOD: Booker beat Nash at the PPV clean, hopefully that is a first step towards solidifying him as a good worker and a worthy champion.

GOOD: Hudson is back. Finally someone who can shut Madden the hell up.

GOOD: Finishing the match from last night. The unplanned injury that cut the match short was tended to properly and now we get to see some sort of finish.

BAD: Staziak saying "all due respect to Paul Orndorff." Doesn't the storyline call for the NBT to not respect Orndorff?

BAD: That double pinfall on Jindrak and O'Hare was counted well before O'Hare's shoulder's were down.

COME ON: Rey can't beat all these guys!

GOOD: Rey finally gets eliminated.

BAD: Oh PLEASE! Tygress pinning Palumbo? Not a chance.

AWFUL: Tygress pinning Sanders? At'away to push the young guys.

HORRIFIC: Madden shouting "Mamacita" when Tygress gyrates on Sanders. Chalk up another stolen catchphrase.

BAD: The NBK trying to "act" backstage. Methinks they need some more practice on the stick before they are trusted with vignettes.

SORT'A GOOD: I did get a chuckle out of "You Suck." A little. Just a small one.

BAD: Oh Jeez, looks who's back. It's Vince "put myself over everyone" Russo. Last night, he managed to put himself over Goldberg. So, who's career is he gonna ruin tomorrow? I shudder to think.

BAD: What is the logic in trying to mute the "asshole" chant? They are trying to garner heat, and when they do, they throw water on the fire. *Sigh*

YOWZA: Midajah looking HOT. Holy shnikes. Vinyl never looked so good.

ON SECOND THOUGHT: Okay that body is hot, but her face...eeew. Did anyone ever see Escape from LA and recall the scene where Snake has to escape from the evil Beverly Hills plastic surgeon? Well, the nurses were examples of enhancements done to the extreme and sport grotesque, enunciated facial features (huge collagen lips, massive cheekbones, tightly stretched skin). Go back and take a look and then revisit Midajah's face.

BAD: Okay so Russo's boys are fighting again. After all the swerves, even if the clamoring is legit, who is really going to believe it? Russo cries wolf again and this time, though I think it might be for real, nobody is gonna buy it (except for the announcers, of course).

BAD: The commentators are trying to sell us on the fact that these four guys are really going to fight. If they wanted to come across like they had any brains at all, they would be skeptical to the legitimacy of the infighting. That way, if they do actually got at one another, it can be something of a surprise.

BAD: Why are they still bringing Kwee Wee out on Monday nights?

BAD: Why did Paisley insist on being tagged in when we know full well that she is going to get her ass kicked? Did they really need to protect Kwee Wee from doing the job? What good does it do to have Shane beat Paisley instead of Kwee Wee?

GOOD: Torrie Wilson's outfit. Hey taxi!

QUESTION: What is the deal with the constant use of a chalkboard? Well...at least it's semi-original.

GOOD: Sting not playing the "mutual respect" thing and telling Booker in no uncertain terms to "shut up and wrestle."

BAD: I can't shake the possibility that this may be a swerve. I guess we will see.

UGH: Disco Duck? That's bringing back horrific memories.

GOOD: Woo hoo! The Cat, baby. Take a moment to look up my column from a year or so ago. You will see how much I hated Ernest Miller. Funny how things can change. Either I got easier to impress or he got better on the stick.

GOOD: I am honestly unsure how this match with Disco and Miller is going to end up. I am guessing that the goose is sure to find its way upside someone's head.

UGLY: Juvy's complexion. Egads.

GOOD: There it is. Duck to the head.

BAD: Madden shouting "Duck him up!" when the Filthy Animals chase Disco out of the arena. Ugh, does everything have to be way over the top you pile of trash?

JUST SWERVE US AND GET IT OVER WITH: Nash is "leaving" again. Sure he is.

FUNNY: Sending Tenay to talk to David Flair. There's something funny about the old guy chasing down a Hard Copy-esque story.

BAD: Tenay told David that he is all alone, but what about the camera man? I guess nobody can see him.

BAD: What an awful vignette. Poorly acted, poorly shot, poorly written. To make matters worse, we are now going back to the crazy David Flair.

CHUCKLE: I did giggle a bit at the mailman attack. However, this may have been embarrassment for the players involved.

WOW: That Smooth guy looks way too much like Magilla Gorilla.

NOT WELL THOUGHT OUT: Smooth turns his back to David to count his money and gets clobbered. Now that isn't even the worst part. David knocks smooth on his ass and does not bother to take the money back! He just leaves it there in the unconscious Smooth's hands. Such little ambition.

BAD: Being treated to dissention backstage. Again, are we expected to believe it, even if it is true?

I HOPE...Sting does not win the title tonight. Now I know that the fans want to see him back in the main event, but the guy isn't anywhere near reliable enough to be trusted as a champion right now. When he goes more than 6 months without some sort of time off, I will take these thoughts back, but until then, forget it.

GOOD: Noble effort by both men in this match. I guess having short PPV bouts the night before helps your stamina on Monday night.

BAD: Jarrett messing with the match. How foolish of me to expect a clean finish. Even in a face/face match, there is a bullshit run-in. What a bunch of crap.

GOOD: Brian Clarke speaks! He sounds like UT! Why am I shouting!?!?!

INTERESTING: Russo gives a tape of Jarrett and Steiner to Kronik. I suppose that's cool. Hey, at least we will kinda give a shit about the match, eh?

BAD: Turning Duggan against the US? What the hell motivation could he possibly be justified as having? The guy should have retired when he had the chance. Anyone else remember "Sergeant Slaughter, Iraqi Sympathizer"?

UGLY: Talk about pasty faced! When the hell was the last time Duggan went without facial hair?

BAD: Hacksaw really does look old like this. Yikes. He looks like my Junior High gym teacher.

GOOD: The match that follows. Wow. The MIA really do have some kind of talent out there.

BAD: Duggan in the ring. Ugh. He alone slows this match to a crawl.

BAD: Hudson equates joining Team Canada with "selling your soul." Uh, right.

GOOD: The Canadian team goes over at home.

BAD: The ref ignores obvious use of the 2x4 to get us there.

BAD: Madden again claiming to be Canadian. Is he hearing himself? Does he know just how much of a jerkoff he sounds like when he yammers on like that?

GOOD: Gary Coleman and Mike Awesome. I hate the 70's gimmick, I hate his stupid interview show, and I hate the Partridge Family Bus, but you gotta love Gary Coleman.

BAD: The NBT should change their name to the Natural Born Jobbers. They seem to be used only to put other talent over. That's fine, but let's not kid ourselves, they are meat for the grinder, pure and simple.

BAD: I would have liked to have seen Steiner and Jarrett versus Kronik. So would the fans. I guess we have to get used to not getting what we want, eh? Oh sorry, this is WCW. If we aren't used to it by now, we're not gonna be.

OH JEEZ: Russo is trying to get Sting to be his partner. If stick accepts, he's an idiot.

BAD: He's an idiot.

BAD: Every time I see Mike Awesome, I have to wonder if the rest of the ECW is laughing their asses off at him. He was one of the scariest champions in their lineage and now he is a glorified jobber with a horrible gimmick. It's really sad.

GOOD: Vampiro's got new tights. I kinda like them.

GOOD: Vamp is feuding with someone other than Sting. I guess last night saw the end of the mess once and for all.

BAD: This match. It's standard hardcore fare. You'd think these two could pull off something a little more interesting or memorable.

GOOD: It had a few high spots, including a Vampiro balcony leap and a over the top rope powerbomb through a table to the floor, both of which elicit semi-muted "holy shit" chants. Props for those spots.

BAD: I just can't care about David Flair and his search for the father of Miss Hancock's baby. I tried for about 4 minutes solid but I couldn't care.

GOOD: The final match has been changed and makes a lot more sense. Booker and Sting versus Steiner and Jarrett. Now this is a swerve that I welcome...at least for now.

INTERESTING...Midajah and Miss Jones going at one another. New catfight fodder?

BAD: Weak bodyslam by Miss Jones.

GOOD: Hudson screams at Madden to shut up. Yeah baby!

BAD: Madden uses the "Superfly TNT" line to describe Steiner again. *Sigh* at least when I made vague references, I credited them.

GOOD: I gotta admit, as overbooked as it was, I kinda liked the way this match ended. Booker wants Russo in the ring, so he helped it happen. Now we have something to build to for next week's show, which will be an important one for WCW, what with WWF switching networks.

BAD: The scary realization that Russo could book himself to win the title in NY.

OVERALL: Again, too much too fast. Too many screwjob endings, but a semi-solid main event that nearly stole the show. I guess I will say this was an honestly decent effort by WCW so I will give them an overall good rating.

WWF RAW

BAD: We start out the night with Stephanie. Now, I understand that she is instrumental for helping establish the careers of HHH, Lita, and Kurt Angle. I acknowledge her for that and send her props for her efforts. That having been said, let me say that I am sick to death of her. Please, let's move on.

HOPEFULLY...the PPV will lock a few things down.

WOW: Has it been a year since HHH and Steph got married? Time does fly when the title's changing hands.

I WONDER...if Kurt's medals are the ones he actually earned at the Games or if they are replicas to be used as props in the ring.

GOOD: The footage of HHH's indiscretions over the past few weeks. Good stuff, well done.

BLAH BLAH BLAH: These 20 minute opening sequences are really hard to get through these days.

GOOD: HHH turning Angle's "friend" logic against him. Heh. "Shopping for drapes" and "alternative lifestyles" indeed.

GOOD: The Olympic footage that HHH uses to combat Angle. When HHH feigned crying, I just had to laugh.

GOOD: "Sissy." Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new chant.

BAD: The formula kicks in. We start with Steph, then move to Angle, then to HHH, tempers flare and just before the top blows off, Foley comes out. Are they on autopilot or what?

FUNNY: When Mick and HHH did the fake crying in tandem. Heh. It's twice as funny.

GOOD: The Acolytes beating on the RTC.

BAD: What a waste. I like Stevie's gimmick and all but Val is better than white slacks and a shirt and tie.

I WONDER...what the WWF has planned for the RTC. Will the feud with Rikishi and Too Cool continue? Will they work a program with the recently allied Dudleys and Acolytes? I have to believe that the group is in for more than the random match each week.

INTERESTING: This is the last night for RAW on USA. That has to spell some sort of trouble. My friends in San Francisco do not have TNN. What then?

JEEZ: Does Val ever know how to sell. Farooq and Bradshaw flipped him over on that double spinebuster.

BAD: As if we have not had enough talking tonight, Rocky has to come out to do his 20 minutes on the mic with UT, Kane, and Benoit. Well, Benoit is okay, but the rest...

I WONDER...if the Rock is true to his word and really has "always respected" the Undertaker. Did he respect UT when he was sacrificing Dennis Knight? I don't think anyone did.

GOOD: After The Undertaker's monologue, I think I am on his side of of the feud this time around.

GREAT LINE: "Although I don't dress like Satan any more, I am still down with the Devil and I will go medieval on your ass."

AYYY: Here we go with Foley again. Formulaic.

GOOD: Benoit, yeah! I am gonna show my bias and say that as long as Benoit is out there, things are just fine.

COOL: Nice stare down between the Rock and UT at the end of that monologue.

BAD: Sometimes Eddie's backstage persona is funny, but sometimes it is really, really bad. This time it is really, really bad.

ON THE FENCE: I like Benoit and all, but how many times do I have to see him get manhandled by Kane?

GOOD: Benoit with the old school working on the leg. Gotta love wrestling in a wrestling show.

GOOD: WWF is pulling out their last stop by bringing Austin back for the first TNN show next week.

BAD: Stephanie making fun of Angle's "questionable sexuality" backstage with HHH. If she is his friend, she should continue defending him, not joining in the razzing.

QUESTION: Am I nitpicking too much?

ANSWER: No, that's the point of this column.

GOOD: Sign in crowd: "Skinner Fan Club."

BAD: Showing a replay of Stephanie shoving Trish down. Oh forget the great German suplex that Angle put on Test, let's see Steph shove Trish on her ass again.

GOOD: I love that gut wrench falling powerbomb that Test delivers. Good stuff.

BAD: What a shock. Stephanie pins Test. Now I don't care what led up to it, the final result was Stephanie being put over a legitimate wrestler on the roster and that is just plain wrong. T&A has been jobbed out to the McMahon-Helmsley regime enough during this feud.

STILL BAD: Eddie pretending to pretend to be sick.

FUNNY...how Chyna is now in wrestling gear just in time to replace Eddie in his match.

GOOD: Tazz taking over for Lillian Garcia and torture Lawler. The tux with no sleeves is a nice touch.

GOOD: Eddie hobbling out to ringside with the blanket wrapped around him. Heh.

BETTER: In spite of the beating he takes, Eddie holds onto the blanket.

BEST: Eddie with the mace. Great heal tactics there.

UM: Is there a match going on here? The ref doesn't even seem to know.

GOOD: Steven Regal, the perfect marriage of wrestling and mic skills.

BAD: They seem to have stuck him in a boring and done again gimmick. *Sigh*

BAD: While I have no issue with Jericho and Regal doing a program together, I think that Y2J should be higher up the card at this point in his career.

GOOD: X-Pac with a genuinely unexpected beating. I hate X-Pac but you gotta give props for good timing.

WHY...is Too Cool getting a shot at the Tag Titles? I thought that The Hardies get the next shot. I have no issue with these two teams fighting, but since E&C are to meet The Hardies at Unforgiven, we know that they will not lose the titles tonight.

BAD: Scotty gets the "Worm" off. What I wouldn't give to see Grandmaster Sexay nail him on the third hop and scream, "I hate you, I hate this gimmick, and I hate this stupid move!"

GOOD: E&C weasel their way to another title retention. You love to hate them.

UGLY: Mideon's ass. Nuff said.

NOW COME ON: You know that Bush and Gore are not going to show up on Smackdown. Stop asking them.

BAD: Way too many commercials. Let's get to it. The entrances are gonna take at least three minutes to complete.

WOW: Benoit on commentary? Methinks I know how this one is going to end.

BAD: Benoit's actual contribution to the commentary. Ugh. He still needs practice.

GREAT: The Undertaker goes over the Rock clean. I guess he isn't going to win on Sunday.

OBLIGATORY, BUT GOOD: They have a pier four battle at the end of the night that pits all four combatants against one another and lets Rocky get the last TV laugh.

OVERALL: I guess it was an okay show. The final match was a pleasantly straight booked affair and that is noble. The rest of the night contained way too much talking for my taste. While the main events storylines have been forwarded, not much was done to move us forward on the other feuds. Ah, well, I guess that's what Smackdown is for.

Well, another week come and gone. It's late and I am tired, so I'm going to call it a night. Be well, friends.

Questions, comments, insults? Send your feedback to michaelangelo70@hotmail.com. All Mail will be answered or taken seriously.

I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.

Michaelangelo
[slash] wrestling

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