Happy September to everyone! I can hardly believe that it the summer months are already behind us. That totally sucks.

Speaking of things that suck, it's time again for me to dissect the weekly Monday night cable wrestling offerings into easy-to-read lists of what I liked and hated. I warn you, we got a lot of "BAD's" in here, so prepare for an extremely critical review this week. 

I'm not sure why I was so hard on our little feds this week, perhaps it was the fact that I had a kind of crappy weekend or maybe it's because I caught the ECW premiere show on TNN on Friday night.

Yes, that must be it. You have to understand that the only exposure I have had to ECW until now was a few clips on the Internet and word of mouth. These guys are good. You can tell they have a hunger that guys like Hogan and Austin have not felt for many years. Not only will I jump on the bandwagon, I'll volunteer to drive the damned thing! Climb aboard!

Also, I watched Smackdown on Thursday night. When the first commercial came on, I flipped over to Thunder to see what was happening. I watched it for a second and just got so disgusted that I flipped the station back to UPN and watched commercials instead -- and I'm a WCW fan. Bischoff, unless you drastically change your booking and programming you are in deep shit.

I'd like to take a moment to plug another writer on this board, Cyan Indigo. She's only submitted one article so far, but I've read her stuff in the past and let me tell you, it's damned good. I have it on good authority that once she gets settled back into the college thing, she'll be contributing more frequently. Make sure you read it, she's got a unique perspective on the wrestling world...and great breasts! Nootch, Cyan!

Special thanks this week to CRZ for granting me a coveted [slash] wrestling title by my name at the bottom of my weekly articles. I knew if I kept pestering him week after week that he'd finally cave! Bully for me!

To celebrate my recent Internet "promotion," I'd like to introduce a new feature to my weekly run down called the: 

-- FANFARE --

Mail Sack!

No, not "Male" Sack. Get your damned minds out of the gutter...especially all you guys!

The Mail Sack will be a place for me to reprint all my letters for the week. Basically it's a narcissistic attempt to self-promote and hopefully garner more letters for people who want to see their stuff up here. Hey, at least I'm honest.

Anyway, here we go with the first ever Mail Sack!

Good:  The concept of Good, Bad, and Ugly 

Bad:  That you cover WCW a LOT more than WWF, and WWF has a bigger audience (well, MY audience, so I'm being selfish) 

Good:  The entire column was very interesting.  Did you do this somewhere else before?  Even if you did... 

Good:  CRZ exposing it. 

Funny:  "BAD: The Rock losing his voice! Oh no! Now he'll have to rely on his ring savvy to get over...he's in deep shit." 

Thanks!  Hope to see it again next week. 

Chris Depetro

Actually, this one is two weeks old. I just like it. As for covering more WWF, believe me, the way WCW has been cranking out the suck fests every week, I'll be paying WAY more attention to Vinnie Mac and his weekly offerings.

Keep up the good work.  I really like the article.  It lets me find out how bad nitro really was without watching it, or reading a long recap.

Later,

Travis

Doesn't it though? Glad to be able to save you the trouble of having to watch that crap. However, I still encourage you to read CRZ's recaps. He can turn the world on with his smile. If you have time, check out Hyatte's stuff too. He can piss Bob Ryder off with his style.

I'm probably wrong, but i think the Blonde Bytch Project has something to do with Sunny (Tammy Lyn Sytch) - notice the spelling, and we're talking about two former ECW stars here... 

their reference to the In Your House video game and Ahmed Johnson made me laugh.... 

one thing i would added (unless you did and i didnt notice)

the Hardcore Hollys... i think they're hilarious, BUT I WANT TO SEE THEM WRESTLE TO A FINISH and quit fighting out into the rafters, weird how through Hollys push he's never had a real match yet... i think they should sign some contract with each other or something or make some oath to not fight again, or now that we didnt see who won the match (the ref followed them outside so i guess there is a winner)?, they should come out as "we know who the better man is now, so we can get to business" and neither of them ever mention who won the fight...

Your take on the Blonde Bytch Project is a popular one, but with word that Sytch and Candido heading back to ECW, that may or may not come to fruition. Maybe it's a reference to Sable. Since we haven't seen a thing about it since last Monday, maybe it's been abandoned. What are the odds?

I totally missed the Hollys! Damn...I knew I forgot something. No worries, they'll repeat that same shtick sooner or later. I mean, Holly was powerbombed about 40 times in a three week period. They had to reduce his shoulder blades to powder in order to ram the point home, so I have all confidence that Crash and the Big Shot aren't finished.

Well, that's it for the Mail Sack this week. Now, on with the show.

The Good, Bad, and Ugly for August 30, 1999

WCW

GOOD: The show starts with a match already in progress, and it's Steven Regal to boot!

BAD: The presence of Dave Taylor and Disorderly Conduct have confirmed that this is a setup for a Sid Run-in.

BAD: Yep, here comes the tall drink of water. Proof positive that WCW doesn't give a squirrel squirt about what the fans want.

BAD: Sid's bullshit record and horrible mike work. It seems to go on forever. He says, "Sid, enough said." I say, "Sid, enough already."

CONFUSING: Lodi and Lenny having trouble getting into the arena. What the heck was that all about?

BAD: A recap of the previous Nitro. We hated it a week ago and we hate it now.

BAD: Tony says, "Action has already taken place here tonight!" Does he mean Sid and his stupid ass antics? I would hardly call that action.

GOOD: Sign: "Raw is Tennis"

GOOD: Building interest around the question of whether Hogan is really sincere about his face turn. I think it's hilarious that the question is essentially, "Who will screw Sting this time, Hogan or Luger?" If Luger's proof is any good, I might actually garner some interest in this angle...but I still won't buy Fall Brawl.

GOOD: Luger's words about Hogan and his betrayal of the fans. You know, the whole "I did it for the money" routine. This is what a lot of us have been thinking and Hogan has yet to address at length. 

BAD: It's not so good to bring up inconsistencies in your characters so plainly and in such a matter-of-fact way. It's kind of like ripping a big gaping hole in the seat of your own pants.

GOOD: The ICP is not wrestling.

BAD: Neither is Vampiro. I guess his push is on because he hardly gets in the ring anymore.

GOOD: Berlyn's "translator." Finally an attractive woman depicted as a professional. The fact that she's wearing something that actually covers her midriff is a refreshing change as well.

BAD: Her name is "Uda Ludendorf"?!?!

GOOD: Berlyn not speaking English. They actually explain it! Holy crap! They give their fans credit for remembering (even if Tony doesn't) that he was identified as Alex Wright a couple of months back. Truth be told, I think that his reasoning (he despises speaking the English language) is actually a great way to establish his new attitude. It sounds cool coming out of him, too.

BAD: The recap of the KISS show. It pulled the lowest rating of the night. Are they trying to lose viewers here?

GOOD: Lash Leroux is on tonight!

BAD: He's fighting Scotty Riggs. I sense a Sid run-in.

GOOD: No Sid run-in. Vampiro hung around for  a while and confused us all by telling Riggs, "You owe me." Maybe Vampiro is looking to stock up the Deadpool...can you say "The Flock"?

GOOD: The Revolution have their own t-shirt now. Maybe it will help inspire them and they can stop the "heat leak" they have developed over the past two weeks.

GOOD: Malenko and Benoit get some mic time.

BAD: Malenko sounds like he gargled with razorblades after eating a sandpaper sandwich.

BAD: You know what sucks about a stable? Once they come up with a catchphrase, they cannot change it, no matter how bad it is. Point of fact, "Out with Evolution, in with Revolution." Nobody knows what it means, but they have to keep using it. Changing it is as good as admitting that it's horrible. Until the Revolution breaks up, Internet reporters everywhere will constantly be commenting about it...while scratching their collective heads.

NOTE: If they do decide to change it, might I suggest:
"We love prostitution, we're the Revolution."
"Contact lenses need saline solution, but not the Revolution"

BAD: The near total lack of heat for the Revolution. they need a big feud to get over. I don't think the First Family is the place to start.

GOOD: Kaz Hyashi is back! Where's his Glacier Suit? Didn't he pay $25,000 for that thing? If the airline lost it, I bet he's pissed.

BAD: Kaz punching Lodi in the ass. That's just uncool for so many reasons.

BAD: The announcers are still referring to Lodi and Lenny as brothers. How long are they going to keep this up?

GOOD: This match. Kaz's spots are fantastic and Lodi is selling like a pro. It's almost a squash!

BAD: The stupid countdown to Mayhem (timer leading up to the release of a new WCW wrestling game). First of all, it splits my screen making it harder to see the match, and second because it looks awfully similar to a certain Millennium countdown that recently came to an end. Can WCW suck any more?

GOOD: Kaz winning the match. Does this mean he gets a title shot now?

GOOD: Upon Seeing Hogan, Mean Gene saying, "I haven't seen that much yellow and red since the canary hit the blender." Heh.

BAD: Hogan and Luger fighting over sting like a couple of eight year olds. It really is juvenile guys, grow up! There's plenty of Stinger to go around. (I'm being facetious.)

BAD: Why is Hogan and Sting II not taking place until Fall Brawl? Doesn't WCW think the fans deserve a finish to that match that they don't have to pay for? I swear, Bischoff is such an asshole.

BAD: The piano music that drifts in over the announcers. I hear this is some sort of Liberace gimmick. Just what we need. A flamboyant classical gay pianist that wrestles. Whoever thought of this idea should be forced to endure four hours in a hot tub with Dusty Rhodes wearing only a Speedo. That'll learn him.

GOOD: Blitzkrieg and La Parka! Cool! I haven't seen these guys in a while!

GOOD: La Parka's dance. I challenge you to watch it and not laugh.

BETTER: Versus Rey and Eddie!

BEST: A great match with awesome spots that didn't end with a run-in screw job, in spite of an appearance by Vampiro and the IC-fucking-P. Now this is what we like to see.

GOOD: Berlyn's entrance. Aside from some hard to take lighting, it was quite good. I like the entourage and music. The whole thing has a "Metropolis" sort of feel to it.

GOOD: Berlyn's selection for his first opponent and the reasons behind it. Picking Buff because he represents the excesses of America is so damn on target, it's almost magical. I agree with Mark Madden's comments on WCW Live following Nitro. He said that to make Berlyn the force he could be in WCW, he has to totally destroy Bagwell and move on. Amen, brother Marcus. 

BAD: Uda translating "Buff Bagwell" to "Buff Bagwell." Well, duh.

BAD: Kendall Windham winning in a squash. Come on now. He's not that good.

GOOD: Harlem Heat cleaning house (momentarily) on the West Texas Rednecks.

BAD: Booker getting hog tied. The WCW loves to make wrestlers look bad when they are at home. I wonder why that is.

BAD: That god dammed hummer driver angle has reared its ugly head again. I already said it, fuck the hummer driver. This whole angle is stupid. Points of fact: For a while, there, Nash accused Sting of being the hummer driver, so shouldn't he be a little understanding here? Anyway, even if Hogan is the hummer driver, the whole thing happened months ago...certainly long before Hulkamania came back, so who gives a crap? If you think about it, the hummer driver really only screwed Kevin Nash, not Sting. Besides, smashing into Nash is no worse than anything Hogan did over the LAST THREE YEARS as a heel. To make it worse, when Hogan came out to confront Luger, he did not deny that the photo was legit or that he was the hummer driver. Luger refused to explain where he got the picture, and Sting just wanted to know what was going on. It was a bunch of garbage. This is setting us up for a major swerve.

BAD: Sting yelling about how many times Hogan screwed him over. If you go back and count, I think Luger comes out on top for the most times stabbing Sting in the back...CRZ, little help?

BAD: DDP attacking Hogan from behind. This served no purpose other than to encroach on Goldberg's main event match and give Hogan more glory as the guy who made the pin on a midcarder like Kanyon. There's no reason why this should have happened at all. It was totally bush league booking.

BAD: Bagwell versus an de-pushed Van Hammer. Is this what they call big guns?

GOOD: Berlyn's entourage scoping Bagwell for weaknesses and strengths. I think that stuff is cool. Again, Berlyn had better squash Bagwell. that would be so cool, a wrestler who exploits weakness and negates strengths.

BAD: Mike Enos and Evan Karagias in the THIRD HOUR?!?!?!??! What the hell are they thinking? This match was so lame, even the crowd was chanting "We want Sid." Isn't that lovely, the fans have come to expect a stupid run-in. I bet the two wrestlers in the ring were on a real ego high, huh?

BAD: To top it all off, Heenan and Schiavone spent the entire match hyping the new WCW videogame. It's so sad, I could cry.

BAD: Charles Robinson refereeing matches normally. He's the crooked ref behind Sid's reign of terror. Where's the consistency? Well, at least we know that if he's calling the match, Sid won't bother the wrestlers. Who would hold the scorecards?

UGLY: Vampiro colliding with the ref during his interference and Robinson ignoring it and allowing the pin. I like Vampiro and all, but come on!

GOOD: Okay, I might take some heat for this, but I like the KISS demon. I guess it's because I always thought Brian Adams was a decent grappler who just needed a good gimmick. Maybe he'll make this one work.

BAD: Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morrus in the third hour. Is WCW that hard up for talent? Good God. Why isn't Sting wrestling? Why isn't Sid wrestling? Argh.

UGLY: Brian Knobs. From the mullet to the egg-shaped body, this guy is hideous.

GOOD: Jimmy Hart stopping short of the punch on Malenko. Hart always was a fun guy to watch in the ring. If he could only get decent guys in his stable...and some generous booking.

GOOD: Hugh Mossur. He's the only real talent in the First Family, and that's not saying much. His No Laughing Matter Moonsault is very cool...when it hits.

BAD: Double countout? What, now these guys are too good to job too? Pretty soon, the only guys who are going to get pinned in WCW are luchadores and Kanyon.

BAD: Changing the main event to a tag team. I already made this point above, but it bears repeating. I was looking forward to a Goldberg/DDP match, especially after they teased it last week and didn't deliver. This tag team crap is not cool.

GOOD: DDP referring to Goldie and Hogan as "bald headed geeks" with Bam Bam right behind him. You suppose Bammer was pissed after they got off camera? I bet he was. Ha!

BAD: Disco's new outfit. Does he think he's in Greenwich Village? Yuk! 

BAD: Disco booked to act like a moron, turn his back on Steiner, and get squashed. He deserves better than that. 

BAD: Steiner no-selling Saturn's punches. It was supposed to be the "face foils the heel" spot. That means the heel takes a few punches and runs away. What the hell is this guy's problem anyway? Looks like Ricky is drinking from Hogan's ego cup.

BAD: Jerry Flynn is the #1 contender for the U.S. Title Belt? Good Lord. What is going on here?

GOOD: Benoit's selling ability. He's a champion in peril all the way.

BAD: Benoit chasing Jimmy Hart around the ring and getting decked. Wasn't he watching the Morrus/Knobs vs. Douglas/Malenko match earlier? they used the same spot.

BAD: Benoit was on the mic and he told the first family that when they get in the ring with the Revolution, there's only "one way out." Schiavone says, "What would that be?" This pissed me off for a lot of reasons. First of all, the Revolution are begging for heat, so don't downplay their time on the stick. Second, a bit of advice for Tony -- stop trying to imitate Lawler and call the damned action already!

BAD: Michael Buffer. I just can't get past him calling Brett Hart, "Brett Clarke."

GOOD: Bam Bam Bigelow no longer wearing a flame-covered jumpsuit. He looks much cooler in normal ring attire. That old look was so 80's.

BAD: Shouldn't the crowd be behind the Triad? They are damned close to Jersey.

BAD: The triad selling Hogan's punches like they were shot in the head. Come on, I've heard of suspension of disbelief, but this is too much.

BAD: This whole match...they rekindled a dead feud between Hogan and DDP and blew it off in ten minutes. What a waste of time.

GOOD: Goldberg's pump handle over the back slam on Kanyon. That was crazy looking.

BAD: Macho Man and Gorgeous George in Hogan's dressing room. The guy went on strike for a week and when he comes back they throw him into the biggest feud in the company? He should have been relegated to fighting The Cat for a month for what he did. Anyway, with all the crappy matches they had on tonight, why did they show him for only 5 seconds at the end? They should have booked him to wrestle. 

GOOD: Hey, yeah! No Cat tonight!

PREDICTION: Here's how I think the Hogan/Hummer/Sting/Luger/Savage angle will pan out. Hogan had no idea Savage was in his room. The whole thing was set up by Luger to frame Hogan. He arranged for Savage to be in Hogan's dressing room and put up Sting to go barging in. The photo of the hummer and Hogan was doctored and Luger was the actual hummer driver.

Any takers?

OVERALL: All talk, no shock. If this is how the WCW expect to get new viewers on a partially unopposed night, they are in big trouble. This show was horrible...even worse than last week. With the talent roster they sport, there are no excuses for a night like this. They should have booked heavy action, light on storyline. We'll see how they do in the ratings, but it isn't going to be good.

WWF

GOOD: The Rock's opening tirade....and the fact that this show takes place in my backyard, Boston! Seeing the backstage area of the Fleet Center as the Rock ran through it looking for HHH was really funny, though I think we all expected him to get beaten down.

BAD: Mankind, the Rock, Undertaker, and the Big Show all fighting each other over and over again. They need to push some more guys to the top of the food chain...Jericho anyone? Test? Edge?

GOOD: Rodney of the Greenwich Posse selling Mankind's shots. The guy is hysterical, especially when Shane draped him over the turnbuckle in his corner.

UGLY: Mankind's girth. He got lazy when he was out...and he ate a lot of Twinkies.

BAD: The new ring announcer screwing up the result of the Mankind/Posse match. I don't think that was intentional.

GOOD: Mankind won the match, but lost it, ensuring we would not have to see another Mankind versus HHH match tonight.

BAD: The way they take us through the show as if it was never booked. Either a McMahon or Michaels comes in and makes the matches on the fly. The rest of the non-main event matches seem contrived and secondary. I hope this isn't a trend in WWF now because there are lots of midcard feuds that can really go far given the proper attention.

BAD: The Undertaker's first moments on the mic. What the hell was he talking about? I heard "respect...comic routine...ass...ass...ass." Whatever, Mark, whatever.

BAD: UT having Show wrestle in his place again and sitting at the commentary table. His groin injury must really smart. Why doesn't he drop the Tag Titles and just take a break for a while? Maybe Vinnie Mac is worried that no Austin, McMahon, and Taker could mean that they give a few points to the WCW in the ratings. Don't worry, Vin, look at the crap they're spewing on Nitro. You're safe for a few weeks.

GOOD: The Big Show's power slam on The Rock. That was incredible! I never saw Andre do that one.

GOOD: Al Snow as a distraught pet owner. The flier was hysterical. However, let's get this over with on Thursday, shall we?

BAD: As funny as Snow is, the idea of a kidnapped dog as the basis for a feud is really stupid.

GOOD: The moaning behind Snow's interview. I'm sure we'll see what that's all about soon enough.

BAD: Al Snow still wearing a Job Squad shirt. Time for some new ring attire...maybe a Pepper shirt.

BAD: Road Dogg out for what Ross calls "A very long time." Boy, WWF is hurting.

GOOD: Jericho's evil side as he sadistically twisted Road Dogg's back into a pretzel on Smackdown. I was impressed. This is the direction he needs to move his character in if he wants to get over as a WWF heel.

BAD: Taka Michinoku? What the heck is this? On RAW? Oh, he's fighting X-Pac. 

GOOD: A pretty good match after all. Lots of great spots, like Taka's springboard Asai Moonsault.

GOOD: Jim Ross knew the name of the abovementioned move.

GOOD: Angle development. I guess this is to get X-Pac's confidence back.

BAD: Where the hell was Kane? No pun intended.

BAD: X-Pac's after-match interview. The guy was huffing and puffing too damned much to say anything intelligible.

BAD: The four-way tag match. Why bother if it's going to be a big mess? Besides, these guys have done this time and time again and we are all sick of seeing it.

GOOD: Crash and Hardcore Holly are in the match.

BAD: We can't see them doing anything!

GOOD: The pandemonium was reasonably interesting. They should have turned it into a battle royal and let it play out.

BAD: There was way too much going on. The cameras couldn't keep up.

GOOD: A couple of those bumps the Hardy Boys...er...New Brood...took.

GOOD: Is it me, or was Lawler really on tonight? Here are a couple of my favorites:

During the Tag Team mess: "It looks like coupon night at the Sizzler."
About the new female ring announcer: "Blow in her ear and give her a refill."
About Shamrock's honker: "He's got a Roman nose, it's roamin' all over his face."
When Debra and Miss Kitty arrived: "It's raining cats and dogs!"

              I normally don't care for Lawler's lecherous crap color commentary, but I laughed a lot Monday night.

BAD:  No definitive ending to the Tag team match.

BAD: Mankind and Big Show mixing it up. The last time these guys were in the ring together, they were both members of The Union. What happened to their friendship. A short vignette would have been nice to explain it.

GOOD: Rock versus Show/UT. I am sensing a new Tag Team forming very soon.

GOOD: I was right. Here comes Mankind to offer his services.

EXCELLENT: Mankind and The Rock trading quips in the ring. When he got over excited and joined in on the "If you can smelllalalalalalala...." line, I nearly bust a gut laughing. The backstage scene was funny too as Rock tries to calm Mankind down and berates him for wanting to use the People's Elbow. Mankind was funny trying to look genuinely hurt by the Rock's words. These two are hysterical together.

POTENTIALLY BAD: If this partnership lasts, The Rock is in danger of becoming a parody of himself...a joke, if you will. They have to avoid overdoing it and having Rocky lose some heat as a result...if that's possible.

GOOD: The quick exchange between the Rock and Terry Runnells. I loved his downplay of the line, "You want to go one on one with the Great One?" Classic.

GOOD: GTV is back, I thought they scrapped it.

BAD: When are they going to get around to revealing who's behind it?

BAD: Chaz attacking Meat for kissing his girlfriend. Shouldn't he be mad at Marianna, not Meat? One dimensional feuds are really hard to swallow sometimes.

GOOD: The possibility of a feud between Debra and Miss Kitty. We all know it's coming.

BAD: It's probably just an excuse to give Debra time off to hang with Austin while he recovers.

BAD: Does anyone else think that Debra looks very old and tired next to Miss Kitty?

BAD: D'Lo and Mr. Ass as a tag team? What the heck is that all about?

GOOD: Mr. Ass not showing us his ass. Whew.

GOOD: Chyna and HHH's entrance theme. If I don't have to hear it six times in one night, I kind of like it.

GOOD: Mark Henry looked good in the ring. His slide between the ropes and to the floor over D'Lo's head looked great!

BAD: The ending of the match. I am not the biggest Mr. Ass fan, but I think he can do better than getting blasted with a foreign object jobbing in every match.

BAD: The whole Test/Stooges thing. He never actually got to the interview. 

INTERESTING: Gangrel versus Shamrock. It would be good if the Brood went over Kenny boy. It would be bad otherwise.

BAD: Guess who lost.

GOOD: Jericho's monologue to Shamrock. He's getting more refined.

BAD: Why isn't he wrestling?

GOOD: Luna and Jackie are back and ready to rumble. The women's division is shaping up nicely. If only they could get Mona...

???: "The Rock Unformatted" appearing on the screen before Mankind's entrance kicked in. Someone missed their cue.

BAD: It's 12:50 a.m. and I am exhausted.

BAD: No HHH, Kane, Jericho, Val Venis, Blonde Bytch Project clips, or any title matches other than the Tag Team Titles.

BAD: Mankind and The Big Show in the ring together. Bleah. This is a slobberknocker in every sense of the word. I hate two big guys punching each other for five minutes straight.

GOOD: Undertaker screwing over The Big Show. That means they're dropping the titles tonight.

UGLY: UT's face as he walked up the ramp. It does look like he's in pain from that groin injury. Well, another one bites the dust.

BAD: The Rock kicking out of the chokeslam. I know that TBS kind of mulled around to give Rocky a "chance to recover," but this really hurts Wight's credibility as an unbeatable monster heel.

GREAT: Double People's Elbow to win the titles for Rock and Mankind. That means we get to see them fight together at least one more time.

OVERALL: Was it me, or did it seem like the RAW show tonight lacked something? I'm not sure what, it just wasn't as entertaining as normal. Maybe they are slacking during the pre-emption period. I hope so because if they keep this up, ECW will be my only source of nourishment.

Well, that's it for this week. Hope you enjoy it, and remember, if you want to appear on the Mail Sack, you gotta send yur comments, good and bad! Write me at michaelangelo70@hotmail.com.

I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.