Former Kings Jeff Tartarek, Kevin Nishimine, and Andrew Fitta all get kudos for sweeping the references as well, too bad that Freddie got his in first. For your efforts, consider yourselves Dragonriders of Vague References.

Last week I asked if I should discontinue the Vague References each week. The answer was a resounding "NO," but there were a couple of people who think that the column could be better without them. For now, I will keep them but there may not be as many as usual. It's tough to come up with them every week, so I will lay back a bit if you don't mind.

Anyway, there are still a handful this week. Find them, identify them, and mail them to me at michaelangelo70@hotmail.com and you too may be a King of Vague references.

On to the meat of the meat.

The Good, Bad, and Ugly for March 13, 2000

WCW Nitro

GOOD: Arn, Flair, and Luger's interview last Wednesday night. 

INTRIGUING: Flair's subservience to Luger. Why do I get the feeling that he is going to turn on Flexy Lexy sometime soon?

GOOD: Keeping those cameras low for the very "unpacked" house.

BAD: Seeing Flair doing an interview in the ring, I almost wish I went to the show for just the first hour of the night.

GOOD: Arn still comes out to the Horsemen's music. I always loved that tune.

GOOD: Flair on the stick. His mic skills are the best thing that Nitro has going for it. How scary is that?

GOOD: Arn matching stick for stick with Flair. I love both these guys when they face off this way.

GOOD: Hogan appears as promised. He gets a good pop, too.

BAD: I bet this is ALL we see of the big guy.

GOOD: Arn promises not to be a part of Hogan versus Flair at Uncensored. I bet he shows. I bet he punks Hogan. If that happens, I might actually be pleased with WCW booking.

GOOD: Hogan and Flair give my hometown a bit of a show for their efforts.

BAD: It's a realllllllllllly slow show. Hogan could barely get his leg up to deliver the big boot.

GOOD: Luger's stiff shot on Hulk with that baseball bat. Hogan selling the injuries on his way out of the ring. Not bad. 

GOOD: That segment. Although it did not set up anything for tonight, it certainly advanced the PPV angle. No arguments from me. I am actually surprised at how much I liked it.

BAD: Fucking Spring Breakout. I forgot to go! I wanted to hit Rikki Rattass in the face with a brick! Ah it's just as well, Chae wasn't there. Nash musta' knew that I was in the area and he wanted to make sure his little lady stayed...er...um...faithful.

BAD: Madden's mouth. It open so wide that it's almost grotesque. Take from that comment what you will.

SAD: Hogan versus Flair. Damn. 95 combined years old. Christ. 

GOOD: Three Count. They get heel heat and they are good workers. 

BAD: Their gimmick sucks.

GOOD: Wow, the Jung Dragons! This should be a damned good match.

BAD: I bet the NWO runs in.

BAD: Tony making a fuss about Knobbs having to fight all three Hardcore Champs at once. It's a fucking hardcore match. Knobbs could bring his whole family if he wanted to.

BAD: That series of top rope attacks. It looked poorly worked.

GOOD: The series of top rope attacks to break up the two pinfalls. 

BAD: The match is over before it began. I could have stood about 5 to 7 more minutes of that.

GOOD: Flair and Luger finally dismiss Arn. I still think that something isn't quite kosher here. "Careful lads, there's dirty work afoot." (Vague Reference)

BAD: Arn misses the cue for his backstage vignette.

FUCKING HILARIOUS: The commercial where the kid in oversized clothing gets attacked by the escalator. How many times have I wished that would happen for real?

GOOD: El Dandy and Silver King! Whooo!

BETTER: El Dandy asks Miss Hancock if he "excites her groin" and when she walks off, insulted, he says "She'll be back." Now that's sports entertainment

BAD: The mega-push that Wall has been getting lately. What's up with that, anyway? 

WORSE: They advertised this Bigelow/Wall match to the ends of the earth and now they throw it out in the first four seconds? What the hell?

GOOD: The bumps that David Flair and Crowbar took. Although the chokeslam through the table looked a bit weak, and the table crumbled a bit too readily, it was still a worthwhile moment.

BAD: Jarrett is still coming out to the NWO theme. Please, lay it to rest once and for all. Put it out of its misery. For the sake of anyone who remembers the stable fondly, disband the group and let's try to foget the last two incarnations. "Won't somebody please think of the children?!?" (Vague Reference) (That's HARDLY vague, dude. - CRZ)

GOOD: Jarrett teasing the women and then sending them away. He knows how to get heel heat.

BAD: It's the same routine we saw with Deborah in WWF.

BAD: Did Sid just say he was going to shove his slapnuts in Jarrett's mouth? Family entertainment, my foot.

GOOD: Vamp in the main event again.

BAD: Is it me or is his pop a lot less than normal these days? I guess having him lose every match sucks away your heat.

BAD: I am the only one in the state to recognize his music.

BAD: If he is on the losing end again tonight, it's all over for his career. I promise you.

BAD: Bam Bam can't seem to get that line about Wall out. He keeps screwing it up.

BAD: So, they screw us out of a Wall/Bigelow match and decide to make us pay for it instead. Let me tell you something, WCW, I ain't buying.

BAD: Harlem Heat versus Kidman and Booker again? Why? Isn't this feud over yet?

UGLY: That Big Jakes guy's arms. How does he give hugs without crushing people?

GOOD: Torrie's outfit tonight. Dare I say...wow?

BAD: Why are they teaming Booker and Kidman again? Jesus. How is Booker supposed to get over as a singles wrestler? Fucking WCW.

BAD: Madden and Tony make allusions to Lane and Idol's "failed gimmicks." Uh, the gay thing was over, WCW. Standards and Practices are the ones who decided it was to be shut down.

BAD: Miss Hancock keeps getting on the damn mic. She is just awful.

PLEASE! Give us a Torrie Wilson and Miss Hancock catfight!

GOOD: The match is actually quite good with a number of decent spots.

BAD: We miss most of it because of the pointless and completely worthless segment with Miss Hancock and Torrie.

BAD: Madden screaming "Spineroonie!" three times a-la J.R. Here's an idea Mark, why not try being original...for your own sake?

BAD: Tony on Kidman and Booker's dissention. "WCW stands for We Can't Work Together." Drop the "Together" and you got it right, my friend.

BAD: It's time to switch over to WWF and I could give a shit what happens the rest of the night with WCW.

GOOD: Liz changed her outfit! She's wearing a one-piece sequined minidress. It really shows off her breasts and derriere. (Oh, come on. Did you expect me to dance around it? In that outfit, she isn't. Why should I?)

BAD: Hogan driving the ambulance back to the arena. Is that an EMT sitting in the passenger seat? Why not just tell the EMT to drive him back? Why steal the ambulance and drive it yourself? Who wrote this shit?

GOOD: Hennig versus Luger. If anyone can pull a good match out of TP, Mr. Perfect can. Can you tell that I am a fan?

MEDIOCRE: This match. It's borderline "slobberknocker."

GOOD: Just as I comment how bad the match is, it's over. 

BAD: Another beatdown, and to make matters worse, the faces bail when the supposedly injured Hogan runs to the ring.

GOOD: Madden brings up the fact that Hogan isn't wearing a cast. Tony helps cover Hulkster by shoveling his share of bullshit onto it. At least they aren't ignoring the obvious.

GOOD: Hogan and Hennig versus Flair and Luger. I gotta hand it to WCW tonight, they are putting all their headliners on the card and that's what they need to do.

BAD: Let me guess, this is the main event now, right?

UNSURE: I like Vampiro, quite a bit, but his promos seem awfully forced. I guess that will improve with time. The boiler room effect is pretty swell, though.

AWFUL: Al Green drinking from a toilet. Xavier Doom, if you are reading this, add it to your Hall of Shame. 

BAD: Does WCW honestly think that we are at all interested in a Nitro Guy contest? Jesus. What fucking demographics are they trying to reach now? Since they have strategically alienated every single other audience in the world, I think they should try to reach hermaphrodite senior citizens. "Chicks with dicks that put mine to shame." (Vulgar Vague Reference)

GOOD: Al Green versus Norman Smiley. These two are both good workers. 

FOR THE RECORD: I will NOT call him "Dog."

BAD: Knobbs cannot get the collar off Greene. What a stupid ass gimmick.

GOOD: Run-ins by Demon and then Lane and Idol. It may have been a mite overbooked but it did make some sense.

BAD: How can a guy who thinks he's a dog know to tap out?

BAD: Is Norman courageous or is he a coward? Make up your mind, WCW and book it straight.

FEH: Knobbs calling out anyone from the back. That shit is always death because it is supposed to be spontaneous, but since we have a CAMERA on Funk the moment he "decides" to take Brian up on his offer, it was obviously planned. So, we are to believe that WCW put a camera on every guy in the back the minute that Knobbs laid out the challenge in case one would mutter, "I'll show him hardcore." I do not suffer foolish booking gladly.

BAD: Is it me or are WCW hardcore matches fucking lame? They fill the ring with a bunch of thin metal trash cans, breakaway brooms, and bendable Singapore canes. The two men take turns smacking each other and then one gets pinned. It's painful to watch, truly.

GOOD: Sign held up right over the heads of the Funk and Knobbs as they fight in the crowd: "WCW SUCKS." "If the shit fits, wear it." (Vague Reference)

GOD AWFUL: The two men beating each other simultaneously with the same trash can. Tony's amusement at the spot doesn't make it better.

BAD: Terry Funk needs help from 3 Count to beat Knobbs. Yeah, okay.

OH NO: Funk has the fucking chicken again. I say no more about this fucking crap.

FROM BOOKED TO OVERBOOKED: Dustin Rhodes interferes.

GOOD: Damn, but those NWO girls are hot. Can you say "Playboy Spread?" Who are these girls anyway? If you know, please send me an e-mail.

GOOD: Tony nails it for once when talking about the Finely/Vampiro match at the PPV. "What could be the best match of the night..." He's probably right.

BAD: Why are these two feuding again? I think it is because about two months ago Vamp beat Finley clean to score his only WCW win ever.

BAD: Why are the Harris Boys still wrestling in plainclothes? 

BAD: Look at all those empty seats. Good night.

GOOD: Sid and Vamp win, finally.

BAD: Vamp takes the pummeling for the team. Now they are trying to sell the guy as a "pain makes him stronger" guy. Oh, Christ. I guess this means that they will give him tons of beatings over the next few weeks and justify it with this stupid gimmick.

PLEASE, STOP: More shit from Spring Breakout. 

BAD: TP calls Hennig "Henning." Since I was corrected a few months back, I do not allow others to make the same mistake.

BAD: Harlem Heat. Is it me or have they been hitting the snack cakes a bit hard lately?

GOOD: Disco back in the ring. Too bad they got him jobbing to Stevie Ray.

GOOD: Disco sings the lyrics to Fat Albert. That's a ballsy move, especially in Providence, and especially wearing a Yankees shirt.

BAD: Why doesn't the ref DQ Stevie Ray when Disco gets blatantly attacked outside the ring? Oh, this must be a No-DQ if You are Outside the Ring match.

BAD: There is NO HEAT for this match at all. None. Not a peep. What must the backstage morale be like?

FUTILE: Hogan tries, in vain, to get some heat from the crowd by mentioning "Providence" a couple of times during his interview. Sorry Hulkster, you lost them after Torrie Wilson and Miss Hancock left the ring area.

JUST A THOUGHT: Shouldn't' this match be Hogan and Sting versus Luger and Flair? All props to Hennig on this one, but the PPV is Sunday and it's Sting versus Luger, right? Logically, I'd expect the Stinger to be the fourth man in this ring...

NICE: Flair's flip into a big boot by Hogan. Good spot.

I HAVE A FEELING...that Hennig is going to turn on Hogan. that would give Sting the chance to make the save.

I GUESS NOT: Hennig eat a bat shot, so this will be the vehicle for Sting's run-in.

COOL: Vamp helps Sting clear the ring. I could dig these two hanging for a while. Not a bad ending, overall.

BAD: The house lights are off so nobody can really see it...why do I get the feeling that was a mistake.

OVERALL: I guess as a whole it wasn't a good show. However, it seems that the same old storylines are being churned out again and again. I have this nightmare that Flair and Hogan will be fighting one another well into their 80's. *Shudder.* It could happen. I am not sure what it is. I guess that there are just too many guys out on the DL for me to really get much behind the promotion right now.

WWF RAW

GOOD: The Rock/Dudleys match from Thursday. Now that's what I call work.

NOTE: How WWF can pan to the top of  the arena and see just as many fans as the lower levels.

DIDJA EVER NOTICE: That HHH's music is still relevant and effective? It's his time...his and Stephanie's. I just thought I'd say that.

GOOD: WWF does not mute the obvious "asshole" chant. Heat is heat and as long as the wrestlers aren't saying it, it's cool.

BAD: The addition of the metal hitting metal sound effect on the replay of HHH hitting the Rock with that steel pipe. It sounds fake and it would have been better without it. 

GOOD: HHH's line about Rocky "beating himself." If you missed it, go read CRZ's transcription. It was well delivered and quite funny.

GOOD: The Rock is facing "someone" at Wrestlemania? Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be a very freaky moment?

YEP: Two "little people" come down to the ring.

BAD: This is always death.

GOOD FOR WWF BAD FOR WCW: The little guy gets a bigger pop when he raises the eyebrow than most of the WCW superstars do when they win a title.

GOOD: The series of stipulations that the Coalition comes up with for the match. We all know it isn't going to happen, so why not have a bit of fun with it?

BAD: It goes on a bit long.

GOOD: The Rock saves the segment.

BAD: The Rock putting his career on the line against Show for a shot at Wrestlemania. He has got to win tonight.

GOOD: The fact that, deep down, I'm not 100 percent sure of that. I know that they are likely going to swerve us somehow.

GOOD: Snow and Blackman backstage. It's not belly-laugh funny, but I have yet to get through a single segment without snickering. 

GOOD: Snow and Blackman are getting some heat from all this. 

BAD: JR pushing the Rock's age over and over again. Yeah, so he's 27 years old. Yeah, we all know. Let it go.

GOOD: The realization that the constant references to Rocky's DOB is a dig at WCW. Think about it. Flair is almost twice that age.

GOOD: This match. Is it me, or has the WWF actually been giving us wrestling matches lately?

BAD: Hardy misses the top rope attack and is forced to roll Blackman into a small package for the win. I saw that coming. Bad ending to a good matchup.

GOOD: Angle, Jericho, and Tazz in a European Triple Threat match. All three guys have a history. This bout means something.

BAD: Why am I thinking that Backlund will be involved in some way?

BAD: I had hoped Mae Young would be off WWF TV now. Why is it BB is gone, but we still have to look at her?

GOOD: Buh Buh Ray wearing the Tag Team Belt around his neck.

DECENT: The match as it starts. Seems like there is some action going on here.

BAD: Buh Buh walking off. Come on now, we all know where he's going.

YEP: There he is abducting Mae Young. Nice job protecting her, Moolah.

GOOD: Wondering what he's gonna do with her.

UGLY: The 3D on Mark Henry. Looks like he landed on his face.

GROTESQUE: The crowd cheering for Mae to be thrown off the ramp. What heartless people!

WOW! Mae tops her original bump with a fantastic shot off the ramp through the table. Sure it was padded, but it looks like he overshot it a bit. Wow. Again, Mae, kudos to you.

GOOD: Angle dissing Bon Jovi. Anyone who runs down the king of 80's hair bands will get a "GOOD" from me.

BAD: I don't think Tazz has yet to be on the stick since he came to WWF. He's good, why not let him talk?

GOOD: Hey! He got a few seconds. 

BAD: He didn't say much.

GOOD: Beautiful Tazplex on Angle!

BAD: This match was way too overbooked. Too much interference and too many foreign objects for my taste.

BAD: The ending. They should have had the Euro Title change hands. I would have booked Tazz to go over. That way he could continue his feud with Bossman and have a belt on the line at Wrestlemania.

INTERESTING: Did Ivory just turn face? 

WHAT? DX versus Rikish and Too Cool? I must'a missed all the graphics that promoted that one.

BAD: The actual match. Is it me or is it just a series of the same spots we see these guys do every week?

BAD: A textbook win by the heels due to the use of a foreign object. Two in a row.

GOOD: Kane showing his support with a gargled "Good luck." One question though, where was Paul Bearer?

AGAIN: As Kane makes his way to the ring, where is Paul Bearer?

BAD: The Bossman is still out there? Who the hell did he blow to keep his job? The guy is past his prime and he should not be used nearly as much as he is. There are plenty of other guys who should be out there on Monday nights.

WORSE: The fact that Bossman will not lay down for Kane tonight. I predict interference.

BAD: JR misses the Bossman using a chain on Kane (hey, that rhymes) because he is too busy talking about Mae Young. Come on, JR, don't pull a Tony on us.

BAD: JR calls the chokeslam a tombstone. JR must have had too much BBQ sauce.

GOOD: Traylor lays down for Kane. About time.

HEY: Is this backstage poll of midcard wrestlers about their opinion of the outcome to the main event another shot at WCW? Remember two weeks ago, Abbott versus Sid? It didn't work then and I am not so sure it works now.

GOOD: Moolah turns on Mae! Yeah! Classic heel interview by the greatest woman wrestler alive! Wooo!

GOOD: Esse Rios and Lita. Well, mostly Lita.

I WONDER: If Lillian Garcia knows just how hot she looks night after night. Thigh high boots, black miniskirt. Strapless shirt. *sigh*

GREAT: It's Dean Malenko! Yeah! This is a match I have been waiting for.

GOOD: Nice chain wrestling by Deano Machino.

BAD: He lingers on that reverse armbar a bit too long.

HOLY SHIT: Lita gets powerbombed on the outside! Jesus! That was nasty!

GREAT: Deano takes the belt! Yeah WWF! 

BAD: Trying to get Mideon over by attaching him to the Acolytes. They were doing just fine without him, I swear. He'll likely drag them down, but that's just my opinion.

GOOD: The Acolytes versus Edge and Christian. I can dig it.

I WONDER...if Terry has a zit on her forehead. That bandanna is suspect.

GREAT: Twisting powerslam by Faoruk. I LIKE that!

BAD: We know that Terry is going to have an influence on this match.

*SIGH* As Terry distracts Christian, Edge gets pinned. Dammit. They'd best get the tag team belts at Wrestlemania after all these losses.

GOOD: At least we get to see Mideon get beat up. Nice bump over the ropes, Godwinn.

BAD: Why do the referees keep agreeing to help the Posse?

GOOD: I never did comment on the 24-7 think that Crash is doing. Is it cool? Yes. Do I like it? Yeah. Will it get old fast? Probably, especially if they keep sending the Posse after him every week.

QUESTION: Will Pete Gas's Hardcore Title Reign be recognized? Let's hope not.

BAD: I hate the Headbangers. That's all.

GOOD: The Big Valbowski returns! Well, all right!

INTERESTING: He's teaming with Test.

GREAT: Wow, versus Benoit and Saturn. That's three Canadians in one match.

BAD: What the hell happened to Test? He was getting a major push with the whole Stephanie marriage angle and then he just vanished. Now he is not even in any storylines and seems to be more of a jobber than anything else.

BAD: JR compares Eddie's powerbomb of Lita to the Dudleys taking out Mae and the other women. Uh, didn't Lita attack him first? The only reason she got the powerbomb was because she attempted to give Eddie a hurricanrana.

GOOD: Benoit gets the pin. I hate to see Val lose his return match, but hey, The Crippler is my man and I refuse to side against him, dammit!

INTERESTING: Shane as the guest referee. 

PREDICTION: I bet tonight we see the return of Vince McMahon. I don't know, something tells me...

WHY...doesn't Shane count Rocky out or DQ him for the low blow? If he really wants to get rid of Rocky, he'd just end the match as soon as he could. That's the problem with having the heel as a guest referee, they seem to forget the obvious opportunities to abuse their power.

BAD: Show misses an elbow obviously when Rock is laid on the commentary table. Whoo, he didn't get anywhere near him!

GOOD: Shane bouncing around the ring with frustration. That shit is too funny.

WOW: That was the first time that Rocky hit the People's Elbow in weeks.

I KNEW IT!!! Vinny Mac returns! Levels HHH with a right! Yeah baby! What a fucking pop!

GREAT: Look at the puss on his face!

FINALLY: Rocky is going to Wrestlemania and the Vinnie Mac is back.

BETS...on how long it takes the boss to turn heel?

OVERALL: Good solid show. Lots of great matches and storyline advancement. The ending was a popfest that sets us up for the final run towards Wrestlemania. I was pleased with Malenko taking the gold and Mae and Lita taking the bumps. I could do without all the screwjob endings, but I guess I'd better grin and bear it for now.

That's it for another week. I have had a thought. Would you guys be privy me changing my format from a text article to an audio show? I was toying with the idea of taping and posting a real audio file of my comments that I tape while watching the shows. It's just a thought, but what say you all? Would you like it? Can any RealAudio gurus out there tell me how to set that up? Drop me a line.

Until then, hasta luego.

Questions, comments, tapioca? Drop me a line at michaelangelo70@hotmail.com. All letters will be answered or hung out to dry.

I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.