Hey all, Michaelangelo here again to crank out another night's worth of personal opinions on Monday Night Wrestling shows in a really funky format. Yep, I'm a grown man and that's what I do.

<sigh>

Anyway, last Sunday at Souled Out, Chris Benoit beat Sid Vicious to earn his first ever WCW World Heavyweight Championship. For that, I am grateful.

However, I have been hearing rumors that Benoit has already been stripped of the title since he and a few other workers (including Shane Douglas and Dean Malenko) have insisted that either Kevin Sullivan is taken off the new booking committee or they are given their release.

Now, these are still rumors, but the answers will come tonight.

I guess WWF is going to kick ass in the ratings again this evening as WCW is a lost cause.

Anyway, time to crown our King of Vague References for this week. Once again rearing his huge brain is Kevin Nishimine. He got four of the five references from last week. Here is his letter:

From: Kevin Nishimine
Subject: There's only one Rock 

Mr. Angelo,

First things first:

"It's pronounced Fronkenshteen." From Young Frankenstein. TMC is showing that like twice a week.

"He even used diabolical laughter and diabolical acting." From Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition sketch. Just bought Holy Grail on DVD.

"What? Why? When? Where?" I can't even guess...

"Here's an idea, have a point. It makes things so much more interesting for the viewer!" Or the listener. Steve Martin to John Candy in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

"He's more machine than man, twisted and e-vil. " Obi Wan describing Vader in Return of the Jedi.

All time favorite wrestler? Up on my list are Steamboat, Bret Hart, and Snuka, but my number one has to be Don "The Rock" Muraco. He didn't waste time spouting b.s. on the mic, he just got in the ring and kicked ass. A great power wrestler who had a large arsenal of moves for a man his size, including one of my favorites, the Asian Spike (yeah, I know it's totally lame, but I still love it). He was a classic heel, my friend actually spit on him at a card we were at in Long Beach. When people talk about "The Rock", in my mind, there's only one. I still have a Muraco t-shirt stowed away somewhere.

Tank Abbot went to the same high school as me (he was a few years ahead). Sadly, he is still our most famous alumnus.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em,

-Kevin

Good job, Kevin. You win again.

The one that Kevin missed was a reference to the 70's sitcom, Welcome Back Kotter, think John Travolta as Vinnie Barbarino. Whenever he was asked a question he didn't want to answer, he'd respond with a series of "w" words.

Yep.

Ahem.

Anyway, if you want to win the crown this week, read through my report below and look for the Vague References that are placed in strategic spots throughout. E-Mail your guesses to michaelangelo70@hotmail.com. Good luck!

The Good, Bad, and Ugly for Monday, January 17, 2000

WCW NITRO

GOOD: Jarrett on Nitro. I guess he's getting better.

BAD: But he couldn't fly to the event last night?

GOOD: Kidman versus Psychosis. Good match to start off with.

BAD: There's no story here. Why have these two been booked?

GOOD: It's been a while since these two have locked up, it almost seems new to me. Almost.

BAD: The announcers are talking up Kidman. Maybe he'll get the belt if they strip it off Benoit tonight. (That's a joke.)

BAD: Tony is being ambiguous about the status of the WCW World Title. That does not bode well for fans of Benoit.

WORSE: I am a fan of Benoit.

WHAT WOULD BE COOL: If all the shit that went down this weekend was a work designed to swerve all the fans. I would give WCW a standing ovation if they pulled that shit off.

YEAH, RIGHT: Like that's gonna happen.

BAD: Good match from both men, but Tony's promise of news on Benoit and the World Title seem to distract attention from the action in the ring.

GOOD: Psychosis with a facebuster from the top rope. That looked stiff.

BAD: Oklahoma winning the Cruiserweight Title. Come on, we have two great lucha-style workers in the ring and Ed Ferrara is wearing the gold?

GOOD: Beautiful guillotine leg drop by Psychosis.

BAD: Kidman wins when Psychosis tries to power bomb Kidman and gets reversed...doesn't he remember the last 50 times he fought Kidman?

ARGH! "Reversal of decisions" on the World Title Match. Fuck. Good luck, Crippler, wherever you go.

BAD: Arn says that he owed Sid Vicious a fair decision. Did he forget the scissor incident?

BAD: Since when can a ref change his mind? Come on.

GOOD: What Arn is saying in this interview is crap, but he says it well.

BAD: Arn on the screw-up: "It's like the match never happened." So Benoit was NEVER the WCW World Heavyweight Champion. Shit.

HORRIBLE: Do you realize the only champs we have are Brian Knobs (Hardcore), Oklahoma (Cruiserweight), and David Flair with Crowbar (Tag Team)? What does that tell you about this federation?

GOOD GOD: This show is a mess.

BAD: They put the Harris Boys back in suits. What? 

QUESTION: Is Booker the heel in this feud with his brother? He's dressed like a rich boy...what does that mean?

GOOD: Booker's partial shoot on Ahmed's past: "I thought he was still locked up."

QUESTION: Booker T. has been replaced by "Big T."? I guess Mr. T. wasn't available.

UGLY:  Ahmed's gut. Good God. I bet he could win the navel depth competition. (Very Vague Reference)

BAD: Booker coming out to the ring to face off with Stevie Ray and Big T.

BAD: Booker sending Midnight back to the dressing room but allowing Big T. to stay. That's just stupid face behavior. 

GOOD: Booker is the face. That's a plus.

BAD: Booker attacking. Not a good idea.

GOOD: They made a match out of it. At least this counts as a match for tonight.

BAD: They're wrestling in street clothes.

GOOD: Big T. is keeping his shirt on. Whew!

GOOD: Booker with a great uranage on Ahmed. As good as Rocky's any day.

GOOD: I heard that Big Vito and Johnny the Bull were really good in the ring last night. Plus, they turned face. Maybe I can cheer for them now...Hey, I am Italian, after all.

BAD: Assholes are not telling us about the status of the WCW Heavyweight Title until Thunder on Wednesday night. I should skip it out of principal.

GOOD: Disco Inferno versus Vampiro. 

BAD: Again. There's no story here, but at least these guys are two good workers.

GOOD: Vamp looking hot in the ring.

GREAT: Hot twisting moonsault by Vampiro! He moves great for a guy his size.

GOOD: This match. It's actually very damned good.

GOOD: Disco loses clean! Yeah! Put one in the "Win" column for Vampiro.

GOOD: The ladies that Nash hires to be his "servants." Yeow.

BAD: They'll probably misuse them.

BAD: Three Count? If Russo is out, can't they drop these assholes?

GOOD: Tenay on 3 Count: "God, is this lame." My sentiments exactly.

WHAT THE HELL? Did Devon Storm just toss the Tag Belt into the crowd?

GOOD: Daphne in pigtails. I like pigtails.

GOOD: HUGE Back body drop by Flair and Storm on one of the members of 3 Count. 

GOOD: Not a bad match, on the whole. Flair was pretty good.

BAD: A worthless appearance by Standards, Practices, and Miss Hancock kind of interrupted the flow of the match.

GOOD: Nash disbanding the Old Age Outlaws. Thank Goodness.

IS IT COLD IN THERE: Symphony is showing us that it is.

INTERESTING: Looks like a Nitro booked the old fashioned way, guys booked in matches that have no real story to them.

BAD: Tank Abbott knocks out The Maestro in a second. What the hell is that about?

GOOD: Norman Smiley heads out in a feud that might be moderately amusing.

BAD: Did you see the line of wrestlers heading to the arena for the "State of WCW" address. Knobbs? David Flair? Three Count? Duggan? Elizabeth? That's the roster!

GOOD: Leia Meow! She's still around! Yay!

DID YOU NOTICE: That Benoit, Malenko, Saturn, Douglas, Konnan, and Sid are not there?

BAD: Anyone who touches Nash can be thrown out of WCW. Yeah, right, like you could spare to lose another single wrestler.

INTERESTING: Is it me or is Nash dressed exactly like Shawn Michaels when HBK did the Commissioner angle?

GOOD: Nash offering his gifts...kind of like the Wizard of OZ. I wonder if he'll...

YEP: He did...he made a reference to OZ, his former WCW character.

GOOD: Giving Jarrett back the US Title. If he's okay to defend it, he may add some credibility to the belt.

BAD: This segment goes on entirely too long.

BAD: "Holy slapnuts." Some catchphrases are simply not interchangeable.

BAD: Nash's "refer to me as Lord and Master" shit was a bit much.

GOOD: A rematch between DDP and Bagwell. I hear that their match at Souled Out was one of the best of the night. Not only can we get a repeat of their performance, but there is a real story here. 

GOOD: Kimberly as the guest referee. Nice touch.

GOOD: Considering their current situation, this bit wasn't really that bad.

GOOD: Leia Meow is back. Nitro can't be all bad.

BAD: She brought the Varsity Club with her.

GOOD: No Kevin Sullivan...hmmm.

NOTE: As perfect Leia's breasts seem to be, there's one set out there for sure that are just that much more perfect. <grin>

WHAT THE HELL? Masa Chono? Super J? Who the fuck are these guys? Team 2000? 

OH: Super J. is the NWO Sting. Joy.

BAD: This match, not even Rotunda can save it, and I am a fan of his work. It was just a bad match.

GOOD: Tony losing his concentration when he sees the close-up of Leia Meow.

BAD: Heenan selling Steiner's toughness over and over again. He even had the gall to say, "I'd like to see him and Abbott go at it!" They did! Remember when Tank first came to WCW? They no-sold each other's moves a couple of times.

GOOD: I gotta give this to Rick Steiner, he is a wrestler. He still uses the drop toeholds and waist lock takedowns. Not sure if that matters, but it's commendable.

BAD: This match is entirely too long...

UGLY: The fight that Chono and Steiner had in the aisle. It was loaded with the worst selling I have ever seen...and don't get me started on the punches.

BAD: All the wrestlers are tired! I told you this match was too long!

GOOD: Okay, I liked the ending. It was one of those old school finishes where a small package is reversed when the ref isn't looking. That brings back memories.

GOOD: At least Sid is still out there.

BAD: The Wall is still wrestling in a suit.

BAD: This poor guy must be pissed off that last night, he was part of a pretty high profile stable that may or may not be gone for good now. Close, Wally.

BAD: I thought Sid and Wall were "friends." The last time these two locked up, they ended the match with a show of mutual respect. Now they hate one another?

GOOD: Nash referring to Vinnie Vegas. That makes callbacks to two worthless gimmicks in one night.

BAD: We miss most of the end of the Sid/Wall match.

BAD: It wasn't much to speak of.

GOOD: Sid beating on all the goons. Those power bombs were quite impressive.

GOOD: Papa Pump proves that he's my hero by bringing out another cheerleader as a valet.

FUNNY: Pump garnering cheap heat by destroying the Ohio State Buckeyes mascot.

BAD: Papa Pump loses my respect by cutting the same promo that he has been using for the past 18 months.

WHAT THE HELL? Pump beats up a fan at ringside? Bloodies his nose. Hmmm. I wonder if that guy was planted...

GOOD: Luger has given up the "I'm gonna dress like Sting" thing finally. 

GOOD: Luger and Bigelow. Good booking

BAD: Again, no story here.

WORSE: Phoned-in match from both men.

BAD: Oh boy, another collision between a champagne bottle and Bam Bam's head. This is getting old.

GOOD: I can't help it, Kimberly is hot. Does this mean that DDP and I are going to have a "Last Man Standing" match?

QUESTION: Is DDP getting face heat?

NASTY: DDP spits right in Bagwell's face. Ugh.

GOOD: This match, quite intense, even.

BAD: Buff's poor attempt at a double arm DDT. It was just horrible...Hey Marcus, why not check out a WWF highlight reel from a Mankind match to see how that move is supposed to be performed.

BAD: Kimberly's lame attempts at the three-count. She throws her head up and down with her arm...I guess she really misses those choreographed Nitro Girls dance routines.

WORSE: Kimberly trying to "shove" Bagwell. that was as bad a bump as they come.

OVERALL: All things considered, I suppose this was a decent show considering most of their talent was either injured or seeking a release. If you don't take that into consideration, it seemed like a bush league attempt at booking. The question I had was why is Kevin Nash, one of their remaining top stars, not wrestling? I understand the commissioner role, but with such a thin roster, he should have had at least one match. Well, here's hoping things improve. Don't expect me to hold my breath, though.

WWF RAW

GOOD: A moment in tribute of Martin Luther King Jr. Nice touch.

GOOD: I hear Austin's surgery went as well as it could have. He may actually wrestle again. In this industry, that's always good news.

GOOD: Cactus Jack is back! 

BAD: I hear they are thinking of bringing back Dude Love as well...I know how much this guy means to you, Mick, but end on your most intense character ever. Let Dude love go.

GOOD: Cactus' interview. He's a screaming madman! I love this shit. 

GOOD: Digging up footage from Cactus versus Helmsley back in 1997. Way to quote precedence! (Vague Reference)

GOOD: Mankind challenging HHH to a non-title match right now.

BAD: Not likely it will happen.

GOOD: HHH's retaliation! Wow! Talking about digging deep down for that spot he's never seen before, talking about how much Mick Foley hates Cactus Jack. Great interview! Who wrote this? Who needs Russo.

GOOD: HHH accepts Cactus' offer.

BAD: He takes the rest of DX with him.

WOULDN'T IT BE COOL...if Funk made the save?

GREAT: This segment. In three minutes we got angle advancement with Cactus and HHH, The Rock and Big Show, and The Acolytes and The New Age Outlaws. It bordered overbooking but came off well.

IT'S ABOUT TIME: A hardcore title defense!

BAD: It's against Test. I guess Bossman is going to stay the champ.

BAD: I am sick of the WWF teasing Tazz's debut. Bring his ass out already.

BAD: Hardcore match in the dark? That's like WCW camera work.

BAD: The Announcers still selling Test's broken nose. Hasn't it healed yet?

QUESTION: What's with all the sawdust in Hartford? HHH had it during the opening schmozz and now Bossman and Test have it all over their backs.

BAD: When Bossman pinned Test under the rolling door, why didn't he go for the cover? Mankind pined rock under a forklift once.

BAD: Does anyone care about a Bossman/Prince Albert feud?

NO WAY: Test could win this!!!

HOLY SHIT! He did!

GOOD: Test finally got a singles title.

BAD: It's the least prestigious one in the WWF.

GOOD: Booking Rock and Show versus The NAO and HHH/X-Pac versus Acolytes.

GOOD: I like X-Pac's new gimmick, getting scared when he gets booked against the biggest, baddest wrestlers in the WWF. 

BAD: Bossman vows revenge on Prince Albert tonight. Well, yay.

BAD: I am just not into this D-Lo Brown and the Godfather thing. He's even taken to wearing similar ring garb to the once and former Papa Shango. D-Lo is a great wrestler and should be in the race for the IC title. 

GOOD: They are fighting Edge and Christian. This may well be a good match.

BAD: When are we going to see Val Venis' "sister"? Is this an angle or what?

ON THE FENCE: This match is kind of poor. Seems like a lot of missed spots and general blah-ness.

FASHION QUESTION: Is Christian wearing Wonder Woman's bracelets?

BAD: That Ho made the worst fall I have ever seen in my life when she dropped off the apron. They should have hired a local female wrestler to do the spot.

GOOD: Finally the "Edge is getting married" thing is turning into an angle.

BAD: Oh boy, another "Kane kicks the ass of a guy who has some sort of inappropriate contact with Torri." Well, good. Is anyone else out there tired of this shit?

EH: Kurt Angle. Just...eh.

GOOD: A mystery opponent for Kurt Angle at the Royal Rumble. They could really do well with that...if they book it correctly.

BAD: Torri's acting. She just can't do "flustered" to save her life.

GOOD: As much as I really don't care about this guy, he does do good interviews.

GOOD: Blackman is the opponent tonight. We know that he won't win, but Blackman is cool enough to make me watch this match.

BAD: If I were a nitpicker, I could remind JR that Angle is not, in fact, undefeated. He did lose a few matches at house shows before solidifying his current gimmick.

GOOD: I am not a nitpicker.

GOOD: Bulldog is back and he interfered in the match. So, I'm guessing that Davey Boy is the secret opponent at the Rumble. He probably attacked Blackman to keep Angle undefeated so that he could be the man to end the streak.

PREMONITION: I am going to go out on a limb here and say that Bulldog and Angle will ally themselves and Angle will renounce the USA for Great Britan. He will then make a run at the European Championship.

QUESTION: Does the Big Show like The Rock? He's not clear enough.

GOOD: Show's attempt to remain a face by explaining his personal vendetta against Rocky has nothing to do with his feelings towards the fans. If he pulls it off, I will be impressed.

GOOD: You gotta love Vince McMahon's thought process on the "Miss Royal Rumble" competition. The last PPV had Miss Kitty yank her top off, how many more buys will they get from guys hoping we'll see it again?

GOOD: Ivory remains the staunch advocate of decency, and gets beautiful heel heat for her efforts.

BAD: So help me, if Mae Young wins that competition, I may just retch. I'd better get a backup plan in effect. Better watch the Rumble with a beautiful Internet Columnist. If anything appears on screen that disturbs me, I can just look over at my companion.

AAIGH! Mae threatening the Puppies! AIGH! AIGH! I'm blind! I'm blind! (Vague Reference)

QUESTION: Where the hell have Vince and Shane been? Are they ever coming back?

GOOD: Talk about two guys who have come into their own. The Acolytes are incredibly over these days.

BAD: We gotta listen to Stephanie's commentary.

GOOD: Do you hear the pops that any offensive moves by Farouk and Bradshaw garner?

GOOD: Bradshaw catching X-Pac in midair twice!

BAD: The NAO running in on this match. I understand that it furthers the feud, but I would have liked to see X-Pac get pinned.

GOOD: Kudos to the surgeons that worked on Austin's neck. I bet getting through all that muscle and scar tissue was a bitch.

INTERESTING: The announcers don't sell the "HHH hit Austin with a car" angle. Wasn't that what they told us caused this whole thing?

GOOD: The Rock's favorable reaction shot. Yep, he's still a face.

GOOD: HHH flubs his lines about Austin but still manages to come across alright. Good save.

BAD: When's the last time Rocky has gotten in the ring and done his "Finally, the Rock has come back to..." line? Seems like forever.

GOOD: The Rock calling Show a huge steaming pile of monkey crap. I missed that line.

BETTER: The Rock relives his famous Big Show Impression. "AUAUAUAUAUAUAU!" Good stuff.

GOOD: Jeff Hardy in singles action.

BAD: Buh Buh Ray would not have been my first choice for an opponent.

FUNNY: The first move that Jeff hits on Dudley is an Acid Drop. Funny, but didn't Spike beat Buh Buh with that move back in ECW?

BAD: All we hear from Lawler during this match is shit about the swimsuit competition on Sunday.

GOOD: I just read in Mankind's book that the Dudleys were originally designed after the Hanson Brothers. That's cool! (Let's make that a Vague Reference -- identify the film.)

GOOD: Jeff over Buh Buh Ray clean. Nice match by both men.

BETTER: 3-D's for all! I love that move.

BEST: The superbomb just racking the Hardies through each other and the tables! Holy shit!

BAD: The Hardy Boys are going to have a very short career if they insist on taking bumps like this all the time.

GOOD: Jericho vs. Rikish. That match will be a heat fest.

GOOD: Chyna on Jericho's ego: "It's getting bigger than Rikishi's butt." I doubt anything could ever get that big.

GOOD: Another Halftime Heat at the Superbowl this year. 

BAD: I hope they top the Rocky/Mankind food fight...(sarcasm)

I WONDER: How will Jericho get by Rikishi tonight?

QUESTION: Didn't Chyna have the belt last? She took it at Smackdown.

GOOD: Jericho making reference to the "Electric Banana." Can anyone actually describe the steps of that dance for me?

GOOD: Lawler: "Look at Rikishi's rear end." JR: "Why?"

GOOD: Great spot with Jericho nailing the Ref with a mistimed flying body press.

GOOD: Rikishi takes out the Hollys.

UGLY: Chyna risking life and limb by low blowing Rikishi! She could lose her arm in there!

GOOD: Stiff chair shot to Rikishi! Ouch! My back teeth felt that.

GOOD: Crash selling Rikishi's finisher. He bounced up in the air. Say what you will about the little guy, he is a great punching bag.

OH YEAH: We gotta see the Kane/Albert match now. I forgot.

BAD: What's the big deal, Torri? I recall a hardcore match between her and Ivory that spilled into the lady's shower and nearly exposed Jacqueline. She should be more forgiving.

GOOD: Finally, JR recalls that Torri's behavior coincides with her return from X-Pac's house over the holidays. 

BAD: Why do I get the feeling that they will probably let that angle slide eventually?

BAD: This match. What a waste of time.

INTERESTING: Prince Albert's comment post match. I wonder what they have in mind now.

GOOD: Mick trying to make peace between Rocky and Show. 

FUNNY: Rocky trying not to laugh during his exchange with Cactus.

PLEASE: Let the Acolytes take the titles off these two guys on Sunday. I am tired of them...so very tired.

GOOD: There's a fair amount of booing for Road Dogg's rhyming shtick. He still shouldn't hit the catchphrases as long as he's a heel. As long as he keeps doing it, I will keep mentioning it here.

GOOD: Rock and Show going at each other right from the start. 

BAD: How will they make this partnership different from the last time these two teamed up?

GOOD: The rock never stands still for Road Dogg's juking and jiving punches. I do like that touch.

IRONY: The Rock is actually in the wrong in this feud. He did insult the entire WWF roster.

GOOD: The Show did the job this week and we get just desserts as he also absorbs a People's Elbow. Now they're even.

OVERALL: A decent night. The WWF is still holding a lot of people back (UT, the McMahon men, Tazz). I suppose looking at the competition, they really don't need to pull out any stops. Why waste the guaranteed heat getters when people will watch just because the WCW product is in such a hole right now? Seems logical to me. Overall, though, the show was a well put together card with good angle advancement going into the PPV.

Well, that's it for another week of wrestling. I guess I liked most of what I saw tonight. the whole Benoit thing was a downer, but the man has to do what he has to do to make sure his career is safe. I'd rather see the guy stick to his guns and solidify his place in the industry than take a quick fix and flush it down the tubes.

Time will tell.

Anyway, thanks for reading. While you're here, take the time to go over to my Expansion Column and answer my "Question of the Week." As of right now, I have only one answer! Don't be shy! Shoot over there and give it a go.

One more thing, I will be taking next week off as I have a very special visitor coming in from out of town. Have a great week. I'll see you in February.

Questions, comments, an itch in a hard to reach place? Write me at michaelangelo70@hotmail.com.

I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.