Hello Internet Wrestling zombies. It's me again, that guy named for an Italian Renaissance painter...or a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, depending on your age and level of education. Yes, Michaelangelo is my name and spewing my opinion is my game.

That and Parcheesi.

Anyway, it was a big week for the WCW as they put on what I think is one of their best PPV's this month. Lots of clean finishes, unselfish booking, and younger wrestlers getting their due certainly seemed to be the theme of Road Wild on Saturday Night. Hats off to the WCW. Let's see if they can continue to put on shows like that one. If they do, well, they might just get out of the slump they have been in since late last year.

One downside to Road Wild that I simply must touch on, the Hummer driver angle. If you read my G,B&U last week, you might recall a pretty brutal rant on my part about this whole stupid situation. WCW abandoned the Hummer Driver angle for a month until Randy Savage brought it up again a couple of Thunders back. He said that the person behind the wheel of the Humvee would be revealed on the following (August 9)  Nitro. That Monday, Savage said nothing about it. Last Thursday, he said that at Road Wild, we'd all finally find out who it was. Well, if you haven't already guessed by now, the PPV has come and gone and the Hummer driver is still a mystery...and no mention was made of it last night!

Okay, I stopped caring for a long time, but now I am just pissed off. WCW should just throw something, anything at us at this point. They have once again made the assumption that their fans are weak minded sheep and I think that stinks. Bischoff, if you are listening, give us something, anything, just shut it down once and for all. It can be anyone! Captain Kangaroo, Blue Hornet, Toonces the Driving Cat, we don't care! So help me, if this comes up again prior to the next PPV, I swear I'm going to snap!

Anyway...on with the countdown!

WCW

BAD: I hate to start off on a negative note, but why does Schiavone insist on calling WCW the "World Leader" in their field. They know that they are two steps behind the WWF, trying to mask that by talking themselves up to the fans is not the way to do it. Know your place and try to better it through programming changes not by just lying about it and hoping that the lie will become true someday.

UNDECIDED: Okay, so I'm on the fence for one issue...Hulkamania. On the one hand, it's a shameless attempt at pulling ratings up by initiating a huge face turn by a superstar who should just retire because he's too slow and tired to really bring back the glory he had 15 years ago. On the other hand, I was a big time Hulkamaniac as a child and seeing Hogan doing exactly the same routine he did then brings back great memories. I have to agree with most of the consensus on this one. If you don't mark out for Hulkamania now and then, then you have no business being a wrestling fan. Too often, we forget that it's really about entertainment after all. If we are entertained, that's the best we can hope for. I was entertained, so let's make this one a GOOD.

GOOD: Having Sid booked to face Hogan. Coming off his clean pin of Sting, it stands to reason that he be in contention for the title. Better booking might have been Sid vs. Goldberg for a title shot next week in Las Vegas, but we'll take our victories where we can get them.

GOOD: Lash Leroux's ring entrance. I just think it's hilarious the way he traces his sideburn.

BAD: Predictability. As soon as I saw Juvy and Lash come out, I knew that their match was never going to be finished. Sure enough, Sid comes out to wipe the two high-fliers out. As I have said in the past, if you must use these guys as punching bags, at least let the young wrestlers finish their match before the run-in. It's a matter of booking it two minutes later. Is that really so tough?

BAD: Sid's record. No, not the W-L record of 55-0, his criminal record of 5-10 for assault. 

BAD: My not-so-subtle attempts at humor.

GOOD: Sid's heel heat. The fans really hate this guy. He's doing his job well.

GOOD: Steven Regal. This guys is another one who cracks me up. When He lifted the fabric of his sleeve to make it look like he had a big muscle on his arm was just classic.

BAD: His match was interrupted by Sid too.

BAD: The "Suck it" sign in the crowd. Why would you buy tickets to a WCW event just to attend and hold up a sign for a WWF catchphrase. Isn't it easier to just watch RAW instead?

UGLY: Mike Enos as a blonde. It's funny, but whenever a wrestler changes his hair, he changes his attitude. HHH darkened his when he turned heel, Billy Gunn slicked his back when he became a narcissist, and now Mike Enos becomes a blonde. What direction is his persona moving in? Maybe Ric Flair needs another son.

GOOD: Sid did not interfere in the third match of the night.

BAD: It was an Ernest Miller match.

GOOD: The Cat's mic work. In all fairness, this has been steadily improving. I am not the biggest fan or Ernest Miller in the ring, but I think, given time, he could be a lot better on the stick.

GOOD: Brendan Fraser movies. I might just see Dudley Dooright. Call it a guilty pleasure. If you have yet to see Blast from the Past, rent it this weekend. It is hysterical, and Alicia Silverstone looks great!

GOOD: Sid beating up luchadores backstage. There's something surreal about seeing La Parka get powerbombed onto a big bag of popcorn.

BAD: That was an entire segment!

GOOD: Rey is finally defending the Cruiserweight Championship.

BAD: It's against Lenny Lane.

GOOD: It's actually a decent match. Lenny did some great spots! That corkscrew off the top rope was impressive.

BAD: Just when I realize that I dig the match, here comes Sid again to screw everything up.

GOOD: Sid tossing Rey across the ring by his neck. That was cool. So much for the Giant Killer.

GOOD: Hogan's pop when he got to the ring. 

BAD: Hogan sucking up to Sting. Does anyone else find it hard to believe that these two are best buddies just because Hogan changed his shorts? I would have preferred Hogan's face turn be something he was forced to do alone. Having burned all his bridges over the past three years as a heel, it would have been cool for him to go at it alone, take his lumps and earn the trust of guys like Stinger and Goldberg over time. That could have made for some great booking and matches with just about everyone in WCW. Hogan/Pump, Hogan/Luger, Hogan/NWO Black and White...the list goes on.

GOOD: Vampiro is on again tonight.

BAD: The Inane Clown Posse is back again too. I just don't like these guys. Skinny white rappers don't belong on Nitro, they belong on sleazy "Behind the Music" segments on VH-1

VERY BAD: Vampiro isn't wrestling! It's the ICP in a tag match.

EXTREMELY BAD: Their opponents are Public Enemy. Oh God. The match sucks most of the way through. Missed or overblown spots abound.

GOOD: The two table bump. I'll give Shaggy 2 Dope his due, he fell through two tables...of course, they were pre-cut, but who's counting?

VERY GOOD: Vampiro's 20 second contribution to this match. I can never get tired of watching this guy work.

BAD: D.J. Ran is back on television. He runs down the same old routine. What possesses them to put this guy on some weeks but not others? The fans don't like him, let it go at that. Keep him off my TV and out of my God-damned area.

GOOD: Harlem Heat. It looks like Booker got his brother over. All the Internet columnists are swarming around this issue from the perspective that Booker T. Gave up his singles career to help out Stevie Ray. I, for one, think that HH is a cool tag team. Besides, just because he is part of a team doesn't mean that he can't still be a singles competitor. As I recall Rey Jr. Held the tag and Cruiserweight titles together recently.

GOOD: Berlyn. I think he could be interesting.

BAD: Tony calls him "brand new." As I recall, it was Tony who recognized Berlin as Alex Wright a few months back on Nitro. Consistency! The bullshit gets so deep sometimes that it all starts to smell the same, eh Schiavone?

GOOD:  The expulsion of Brian Adams from the NWO. While it makes little sense that the crumbling group would issue a beatdown to its biggest member, it does help to foreshadow Adams' reinvention as the KISS DEMON next week. WCW is laying the groundwork for a future angle now and that is to be commended. Adams is actually one of my favorite midcarders. I always thought he was talented enough to do better for himself. Maybe now he will.

BAD: The rest of the NWO Black and White still exists. Kill it already! Let my man Norton free!

WEIRD: Kidman on the stick!

GOOD: The interview was actually kind of cool. Mean Gene uses the phrase, "chick magnet." Kidman finally introduces the "Filthy Animals." 

BAD: That name and its meaning leaves a lot to be desired.

GOOD: A Triad/FA feud. Putting these guys against one another promises incredibly cool matches.

GOOD: A feud built on DDP's instability when it comes to his wife. As Kimberly was dragging him away from the ring, he compared Kidman to Scott Steiner. Now that is what consistency is all about!

GOOD: Page actually powerbombed Kidman! How often do we see that move work on him?

GOOD: Disco versus Benoit. From the opening mic work to the clean finish, these two men have proven, again, why they earn their paychecks. If only Disco would find some way out of his gimmick, he could actually move on up the ladder.

BAD: Goldberg versus Barry Windham?!?!?! Sid gets Hogan and Goldberg gets demoted back to beating midcarders? Hey, I have as much respect for Windham as anyone, but come on. I blinked and this match was over.

GOOD: Harlem Heat's entrance shot from a camera above the arena. you could see the whole crowd "raising the roof." Try and tell me these two aren't over.

GOOD: Booker T. He makes everyone around him look really good. The match was a phone-in most of the way, and I'd like to see Norton do more, but it wasn't terrible.

BAD: Steiner is still the Television Champion. Okay, that's bad enough. What the hell makes Knobs the #1 contender? I don't remember the last time I saw him win a match. How about Saturn? Vampiro? Anyone else?!?!

UGLY: Knobs jumping off the top rope and hitting Steiner's outstretched foot. That was a lame ass spot. I have yet to see anyone do this spot so that it looks realistic. For a second they looked like two kids in their backyard playing "wrestlers."

GOOD: Saturn versus Bigelow. Two big bald guys with a lot of talent given time to put on a decent match. I could have done without the double screwjob ending, but it didn't really take anything away from how good the match was.

BAD: Tony's refusal to comment on the match he is watching. There was one point where his play-by-play for a cool top rope plancha sounded like this:

        "As you know Sting turned over control of WCW to...WHAT A MOVE! Anyway, let me finish that thought...Sting has turned..."

Of course that is paraphrased, but it is pretty accurate. Why doesn't he realize that we'd like to hear him call the moves and bumps? Oh yeah, he doesn't know the names of any of the moves. Hell, I'd be happy if he'd just call everything a sidewalk slam, at least it would seem like he's watching the match.

GOOD: Sid throwing water on Tony. Kind of makes that above thought float away into nothingness...

BAD: Hogan in the ring with Sid. He has lost a couple of steps. As much as I do like the return of Hulkamania. I fear it cannot last long. The guy is obviously on his way out soon. I just hope he doesn't cripple himself trying to make one last run of it.

GOOD: The crowd's reaction to the screwjob ending to the main event. Now, I ma not a proponent of throwing things in a crowded arena, but maybe the danger it poses will serve as a wakeup call to WCW. Don't screw the fans out of a clean finish, we don't like it. In fact, we are God Damned sick of it. that's why Sid got a Pepsi right in the side of the face. I also think that's why Steiner and Hogan did the pinfall ending. I think they improvised to calm the crowd down. Doing this off a well-booked PPV is not the way to increase ratings...and the masses have definitely spoken.

WWF

BAD: Chyna needs her own music if she is going to come out alone this frequently. There's only so many times I want to hear that damn music.

GOOD: Triple H's conversation with Chyna to start off RAW. He is a decent actor and they referred to actual past events and gave us DX's "backstage activities" surrounding them. When he got "angry," he didn't flub a single line. I was impressed.

 BAD: I know it's an unpopular stance to take, but watching HHH pound on Chyna was something I simply could not get my mind around. I know she wants to compete with the men. I know that she is tough enough to take it. It's easier when the man and woman who are fighting are or were not romantically involved within the angle or otherwise. (If you look at the match between Mankind and Chyna, Foley had very little offense at all.) I don't know, it was just tough to watch. 

GOOD: That shot Mankind gave Helmsley with the steel stairs. Helmsley sold it like a pro, dropping flat on his back. I loved it! Well done by both men.

GOOD: Foley proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is back when he gets in the ring with Chyna and goes on about her unspoken lust for him. The icing on the cake was when she popped him in the cherries and refused his request for a match. Mick, writhing with pain, responded with "Are you sure?" You gotta love that guy.

GOOD: Road Dogg versus Al Snow. These guys can really work!

BAD: It's not a hardcore match...and it kind of stunk.

GOOD: All of Jericho's backstage vignettes. This is the kind of stuff that they teased at in WCW. Giving him full reign backstage every week is going to really pay off for the WWF.

BAD: Jericho's monologue onstage. The first half of his speech was good, but the second half was just a rehash of last week's stuff. The crowd knew it too, because they died down towards the end.

GOOD: The Undertaker losing all the "lord of darkness" talk and sounding more like a tough guy from down south. He's a gifted actor, allowing him to be more down to earth really does work.

GOOD: Shawn Michaels is just gold on the stick. If the time comes that he ever returns to the ring as a wrestler, I don't care where it is, I will be at that event.

GOOD: Chyna bodyslamming Mick Foley. Okay...maybe she does belong in there.

BAD: The fact that, without the distraction, Chyna could have won that match against Mankind. If you are not willing to allow her to be considered a legitimate contender, don't tease it that way. 

GOOD: Blackman's entrance theme. It's intense and foreboding. It fits his new character well.

GOOD: Test's in-ring skills are improving. He already knows six moves. That's three more than Kevin Nash.

GOOD: Kane/X-Pac versus the Acolytes. These four have proven that they are capable of putting on a great show.

BAD: It's a show that we have already seen.

GOOD: The thought of a match between Undertaker/Show and Kane/X-Pac at Summerslam. Four decent workers going at it. My money's on the big evil guys.

GOOD: Bob and Crash Holly. The whole segment was stupid enough to be hysterical. Holly calls out another "super heavyweight" who turns out to be six inches shorter than he is and then the two of them get into a huge brawl almost immediately. I am going to like these two.

BAD: The Rock losing his voice! Oh no! Now he'll have to rely on his ring savvy to get over...he's in deep shit.

GOOD: He had a sense of humor about it. When he cracked on Milwaukee, he cracked a smile.

GOOD: The Rock's parody of Mr. Ass's theme song. "I'm an asshole!" I laughed. A lot.

BAD: The "herbal ass treatment" angle. I should have expected that any heel with a narcissistic obsession towards his own butt was going to wind up being distasteful at some point. I just never imagined how distasteful it could be.

BAD: The Rock getting tuned up again! This time he had to put his face on Gunn's ass! He'd better be booked to beat the living shit out of Mr. Ass at Summerslam for all the poundings he has taken.

GOOD: The presence of both Shane McMahon and HBK during the last match. The way they got in each other's way and kept pushing was really entertaining. 

BAD: The last match as a whole. It seemed to lack any kind of consistency and certainly didn't have the spark that matches like Mankind/Rock and Austin/Rock have had in recent weeks. Hopefully, HHH and Foley can get together to give us some decent bouts over the next month or so.

UGLY: That convoluted ending. I understand why they needed to have a three-way dance for the Title at Summerslam, but the way they did it was just a little too screwed up for my tastes.

Well, that's it for this week. Remember, if you like/hate what you read here, please drop me a line and tell me! All e-mail messages will be either answered or printed out and used when I run low on toilet paper.

Write me at michaelangelo70@hotmail.com.

I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.