Well, folks, welcome to the last G, B, & U of the Millennium. Yadda yadda yadda. Michaelangelo here. Have aI mentioned that I am in love with CyanIndigo? No? Well I figured I should get it out before the end comes.

Just kidding...or am I?

Anyway, word has it that Goldberg is seriously hurt from his car window smashing on Thursday night. from what I saw, it looked rather nasty. I wonder how they'll spin it on Nitro. 

Over on WWF, we got the aftermath of Tori's weekend with X-Pac. That should be a strange affair. Pun intended.

Time will tell.

Now for the moment you've all been waiting for, the crowning of this week's King of Vague References. For the first time since I started this little game, nobody got them all! Wow! A few people got five of seven, and the first guy to submit them was Jay Evans, so he wears the crown. Here is his mail message identifying the references.

From: "Jay Evans"
Subject: Tough ones this week 

Although several were obvious -- I can do five of seven for you (hope that's enough to get me the prize -- oh wait there is no prize).

1. Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman "If I was the man I was ten years ago, I take a FLAMETHROWER to this place!"

2. The Grinch That Stole Christmas (works for Hart right now, don't it, especially if "NWO 2000" ends up sucking).

3. John Bender (Judd Nelson), The Breakfast -- "Molay really pumps my nads." "Moliere." Classic.

4. Nope.

5. Nope.

6. Reference to the MacKenzie Brother's 12 Days of Christmas spoof -- "And a beer.........in a tree."

7. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey and every middle schooler at that time for about two years. Best when said by Abe Lincoln though. "Four score and seven minutes ago."

Great column, as always!

Good job, Jay! The ones he missed were:

OKAY: There he goes. Wow! Jim fell right on his ass! Bumbles bounce! 

BAD: Mark Henry is still Mae Young's man? Jesus. Now I know I'm gonna be sick. 
When they kissed it looked like two carp in the Mississippi going after the same piece of fish.

The first is from the claymation classic Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Spoken by Yukon Cornelius to explain how he and the Bumble could fall off a cliff and survive.

The second is an old wrestling tidbit. When Uncle Elmer got married on WWF TV back in the 80's Jesse said this about their first kiss as husband and wife. This sparked a feud between the two that never culminated because big old Elmer got very sick and was unable to compete. At least, that's how I recall it.

Anyway, if you want to see the other attempts at answering the "call to vagueness," swing by this week's Expansion Column, and while you're there, why not answer my Question of the Week?

On to the real meat of the moment:

The Good, Bad, and Ugly for December 27, 1999 

WCW NITRO

UGLY: Goldberg slicing himself on the limo on Thunder Thursday night. The blood splattering all over the hood was fucking gross, even in black and white.

GOOD: The NWO holding all the major titles. It will make it all the more sweet as they drop them one at a time.

GOOD: Mike Tenay is back at the announce table. Maybe they will call the moves a bit more

EVEN UGLIER: Goldie with a shredded tendon! They even showed the blood in color.

INTERESTING: Hall and Nash are to be stripped of the tag titles.

GOOD: The titles being stripped from the Outsiders has inspired a tournament. Perhaps this can help to create new tag teams and strengthen the division.

BAD: Hopefully it will not be as crappy as the last tournament they held. Bobby Eaton and Kaos? Egads!

GOOD: The "ho" on Kanyon's left arm. Hubba yowza.

GOOD: Believe it or not, I like Knobbs' new look. That 80's Nasty Boy shit wasn't cutting it.

BAD: Other than that, I could give two rats asses about this guy.

BAD: Since Kanyon is at the commentary table during a Bigelow match, it's likely that he'll interfere and cause Bigelow to lose again.

BAD: Every hardcore match I have seen in WCW to date. Did you ever notice that they never roll a bin of plunder out to the ring during WWF hardcore matches? That's because WWF knows what they are doing.

GOOD: Bigelow destroying a merchandise stand with Knobbs' head. That was cool.

BAD: Kanyon's commentary. "Out of the way marks. Out of the way marks. Oh! Cheap shot." 

BAD: No camera to catch the match. Poorly planned match there. We didn't get to see the end. What the hell is that about?

GOOD: Sid and Benoit are now the top faces until Goldberg gets back.

GOOD: Dillon is back. He's cool.

GOOD: The NWO lays him out. Let me qualify this. I am not for the NWO's return. In fact, I hate it. However, they are back and there isn't a thing I can do about it. As long as they are here, they need to beat everyone up and get their comeuppance on a regular basis. That is happening so far, so all is as it should be.

BAD: Sid left his lights on.

BAD: I thought the NWO was gonna get a new logo. Looks like the same one from before...oh yeah, they decorated it with a slogan stolen from The Blues Brothers. Assholes.

INTERESTING: Sid and Hart at Souled Out. How long will Goldberg be out?

GOOD: Benoit in the house. I bought a Benoit action figure last week. It's cool.

IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, I WILL BE PISSED OFF: Benoit better win that weird ass match at the next PPV. Jarrett needs to pay his dues in WCW before he gets to keep the gold for any length of time.

BAD: I hate to say it, but Benoit is still too stiff on the stick. Hire me, and I'll be his mouthpiece.

GOOD: Jarrett on painting Sid's car up. "This is how they detail their car in Arkansas."

BAD: The NWO vandalizing a car. What are they, street punks or badasses? Ooooh! Scary scary, don't we look mean. (There's a Vague Reference for you all.)

BAD: Those old rockers from ZZ Top and Skynard look fucking ancient! Yegads.

BAD: Why does Sid care about a rental car?

I CAN'T DECIDE: I don't know what I think about Buzzkill gimmick. I did chuckle, but the whole thing is almost embarrassing. I wonder what Jesse and Brad talked about when they saw one another on Christmas. 

GOOD: Teaming Armstrong and Rotunda. Two good grapplers caught in lame gimmicks. That can be their gimmick within a gimmick.

GOOD: Leia Meow. Holy crow. She is hotter than hell...there's only one woman who can boil my potatoes faster...care to hazard a guess?

INTERESTING: The Lethal Lottery put Konnan and Dean Malenko together as a team. Angle-wise they are enemies, but in the ring, these two could be a decent team...if K-Dogg holds up his end of the work.

GREAT: They let Kimona get involved in the match and gave us a little ECW style catfight.

BAD: It was a brief moment...bummer.

GOOD: Speaking of "bum." We got to see Miss Meow's caboose.

BAD: I have a one track mind.

GOOD: Jarrett pulling the plug on Nitro. The 5 second delay before rolling a commercial was a nice touch.

FUNNY: Snowy picture when we return from commercial.

BAD: Papa Pump deserves better than this. 

GOOD: They clear the picture.

BAD: Seeing Scott Steiner in a wheelchair. That sucks that he is retiring. I actually liked him, a lot.

GOOD: The NWO on the rampage. 

BAD: Now Shane is wrestling in a suit. This poor asshole. 

GOOD: At least he has a job. "Job" being the operative word.

BAD: Tank Abbott. Where are they going with this guy? He just punches his opponent until the match ends? He sucks. I hate him lots.

GOOD: A nice little look back at Scotty Steiner. He had one hell of a career. It's hard to see him so torn up. Those are real tears. Poor guy.

GODSPEED: Good luck Papa Pump. That's all I have to say about that.

BAD: Making this into an angle? Oh Christ. Forget what I said about the tears.

GOOD: This probably means that he isn't retiring at all. I bet he rejoins the NWO.

GOOD: If there is anything positive about this NWO bashing of Papa Pump, its that it makes them better heels.

GOOD: The old Heel Hart smirk is back.

GOOD: Nash isn't done talking so they waffle the PA at ringside with a guitar. I liked that.

WHAT? What the hell is Jarrett talking about a survey? Did he say, "Before we go back on the air..." Nash is telling dirty jokes? I think these guys don't know they are on live right now.

BAD: Why the hell is Jarrett still calling himself "The Chosen One." Hart has the World Title. I think that shit's done now.

GOOD: Jarrett on the venue. "They shouldn't call this the Astrodome, they should call it the asshole dome."

GOOD: Sid and Benoit chasing the NWO out of the ring with the baseball bats.

BAD: Hennig trying to make a save and getting his ass kicked. That was not smart Kurt. I hope this isn't the start of him being an NWO flunky again.

GOOD: Tossed onto the hood of the car!

BAD: Isn't Hennig a bit old for this kind of shit?

GOOD: It's 9 p.m. and I don't wanna' switch to RAW!

TOO BAD: I'm doin' it anyway.

GOOD: Lash giving out Mardi Gras beads. Interesting that Lash and Midnight are partners in this match...

BAD: We're supposed to believe that Booker T. and Stevie Ray drew each other in the Lethal Lottery? I don't think so, Tenay.

BAD: Blown rollup spot by Lash. That looked horrible.

BAD: Lash taking a beating.

GOOD: The pop Midnight got when she got the tag. She could be the WCW's version of Chyna.

GOOD: Midnight's snap suplex on Stevie Ray.

BAD: Booker and Midnight playing with kid gloves. This doesn't bode well.

WORSE: Harlem Heat is breaking up again. They were the only real tag team in the tournament. Fucking ay.

FUNNY: The masked man beating on Chavo and doing that "look around like a villain" move before dashing away. It reminded me of, "Are you looking at my gut? I'm working on it!" (Vagueness personified)

GOOD: Asya's looking pretty hot in those shades and leather glasses.

GOOD: I really look forward to hearing what Saturn is going to say. It's so fucking off the wall, you can't help but crack up.

INTERESTING: The Power Plant boys in the front row. I get the feeling they won't be sitting there the whole show.

IRONIC: Heenan on his presence at ringside: "I don't talk about stupid things, I talk when it's important." If that were true, he'd never speak.

BAD: Jerry Flynn gets a title shot? Why, because he beat The Maestro?

GOOD: The Sid/Hart match has been stipulated that the title can change hands on a DQ. Cool rule.

BAD: If Hart can't beat Flynn without help, something is wrong with the world.

BAD: Here comes Abbott to hit Flynn when he's out. I can see how about that Benoit this coming a mile away.

VALIDATION: Whoop, there it is.

GOOD: Saturn trying to catch Clinton in a butterfly net. There's something almost M.C. Escher-esqe about this skit.

BETTER: Saturn with the Grinch..."Reading is fundamental." Well, I laughed.

OH, COME THE FUCK ON: Now we are expected to believe that not only did Harlem Heat draw one another in the Lethal Lottery, so did PG-13.

BAD: PG-13. I hate white rappers. I just hate them. If God meant white people to be rappers, he would have given us rhythm.

GOOD: They don't care if we like them or not.

GOOD: Leia Meow is back out. She is just too hot for words...excuse me while I wipe up this small puddle of drool that's causing my "n" key to stick...okay I got it finnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnally.

GOOD: Berlyn is back...when is the last time he wrestled on Nitro?

BAD: This is the second time they have paired Berlyn up with a partner that he walked off on.

GOOD: Nitro is dropping to two hours starting next week. From a recapper's point of view, thank God. One less hour of writing to do.

UGLY: Steiner missing a back drop off the top turnbuckle.

BAD: Even though Steiner got himself DQ'ed, Leia Meow is still cheering her.

BAD: Duggan believing Saturn when he tells the big guy that they should stand side-by-side during their tag match. Every fiber in my being knows that Perry will turn on Hacksaw three minutes into the match.

BAD: Saturn calling Asya a "jacked-up hootchie." She could kick my ass if I said I liked it, so it get s a "BAD."

CUTE: Duggan's daughters. Thank goodness they take after their mother.

GOOD: Norman Smiley hiding behind Asya.

FUNNY: I can't help it, I still crack up when Norman screams in fear.

BAD: That superplex by Asya. It took too long and the bump was really stiff looking.

GOOD: Norman trying to hug Asya after their win and she giving him a belly to belly suplex. 

GOOD: Kidman versus Jarrett. This promises to be a good match.

BAD: The camera missed Jarrett's pyro.

GOOD: Jarrett must love his life in WCW. He's in a major angle, already has gold, and is really starting to get over. He's come a long way from "Double J." 

GOOD: Kidman selling that corner throw...I like it when they fall to the ground after bouncing off the turnbuckle.

CONFUSING: Nash beating on Konnan. The last time these two were toe to toe, they were friends. Ah well.

GOOD: This match. I know there will be a screw job ending, but for what it's worth, I like what I am seeing here.

GOOD: Brain on Kidman reversing the powerbomb attempt: "I never saw anything like that." It just oozes sarcasm.

BAD: Rey out there on crutches. Stupidity has a name-o.

IF THERE IS ANY JUSTICE: Luger will stay out of the NWO.

GOOD: Liz is wearing a leather miniskirt. As far as I ma concerned, if you have legs like hers, it never goes out of style.

BAD: Luger's impersonation of Sting. Ugh. 

GOOD: The black roses. Nice foreshadow. 

BAD: What the hell is with that ancient WCW Hotline commercial...the American Males? Sting in the old makeup? Luger and Hart? To make it worse, we follow up with Sting in his Crow makeup shilling the WCW credit card. Welcome to WCW where inconsistency is a way of life.

IF WE SEE IT, THE NWO IS PLANNING SOMETHING: Nash on the phone. Oh, Scott will be there...but not Scott Hall.

A FINAL MOMENT OF COINCIDENCE: The Harris brothers draw each other in the Lethal Lottery too. Russo, what the fuck? Why not just screw the whole "luck of the draw" thing and just have guys team up? You used the same formula in every damned match. Two guys who hate each other are matched up as a tag team and wind up beating each other instead of the other team. My 2 year-old Goddaughter could have written this shit.

AT LEAST...Finely looks good again.

GOOD: On Meng's hairdo: "Looks like he swallowed a hand grenade."

BAD: Another mysterious assailant attacks people in the ring. Looks like they turned the lights on too early because we get a view of him leaving the ring. So we have two now, the masked weirdo, and some guy who looks like a blonde version of Silent Bob.

GOOD: David and Daphne as the Natural Born Killers. We all saw it coming, at least they just sucked it up and flat out admitted it.

BAD: Three Count. Three Count. Three Count. BADBADBADBADBADBAD! Oh GOD this is the WORST! Words cannot express how truly soul rending this is.

GOOD: Vampiro to save the day. I wish he'd have brought the pain earlier.

BAD: They stuck Vamp into another lousy feud. He should be a US Title contender.

GOOD: David and Daphne's new music. I like it!

GOOD: Glad to see Devon Storm out there...he's someone I have been impressed with on Saturday Night.

BAD: He's acting like a fucking moron.

GOOD: He's very good at it.

BAD: good to know that a guy with a pipe can just show up at Nitro, waffle one of their employees, and just join a tag team championship tournament.

BAD: David carries a crowbar and Crowbar carries a pipe. What kind of logic is that?

BAD: Anyone want to explain how a gas station attendant is so good at wrestling?

GOOD: Vampiro double backdrops two members of Three Count out of the ring at the same time. Great spot.

BAD: Crowbar's pipe bends over Vamp's head. Why are they still using rubber props out there?

GOOD: Lenny and Lodi are back! Kind of ironic that they are "Standards and Practices."

QUESTION: That looks like Skye as the female Valet to Standards and Practices. Is it her?

GOOD: Schiavone on the end of the Crowbar/David Flair Match: "That is about as bizarre a segment as you will ever find on this program." I concur.

HMMM: Disco isn't dancing on his way to the ring...what up with that?

ANOTHER FUCKING COINCIDENCE? Big Vito and Disco are teamed up? 

GOOD: Last night, Cinemax ran "Lethal Ladies." Starring Julie Strain and Marcus Bagwell. We've tread these grounds before. It is with that memory fresh in my mind that I take in this match.

BAD: Kanyon splits...yet another abandoned partner.

BAD: Why does a thumb in the eye cause Buff to drop to one knee?

BAD: Schiavone making a fuss about Vito's cheese sandwich. Let it go. How do you make a jam sandwich? take two pieces of bread and jam them together! (Vague Reference)

GOOD: Buff comes out with a victory, now that I didn't expect. I bet that Kanyon drops out as his partner and a certain Scotty Riggs joins up.

GOOD: When Nash gets the stick, he doesn't suck up to the crowd. He has to keep that shit up in order to maintain his heelness...and that is crucial to the success of the new NWO.

BAD: The Wall is cool, but he should stop wrestling in that suit.

GOOD: Sid and Wall on the same team. The Skyscrapers are back!

BAD: No matches with Benoit tonight? Aw, shit.

BAD: Nash really blew a whip to the ropes spot...lazy ass.

GOOD: The NWO playing classic heels outside the ring, distracting the ref while they double team Wall. Good stuff.

GOOD: Here comes Benoit! I'll take him anyway I can get him.

BETTER: Big Papa Pump is coming out! I knew it! He's gonna join the NWO!!!

I WAS RIGHT: Yep, Steiner's back! Welcome back, king of the heels. Hollar if you hear me! It was worth it! Whoo!

GOOD: Great ending. A Sidnapping followed by a car crushing. I'm with Heenan, I love it too! This could just work.

OVERALL: Honestly, the show sucked until the very end. Most of the tag matches were stupid and it feels like they ended the same way. Hopefully the next round will be a bit more cohesive. I loved the fact that Steiner swerved the crowd. Admittedly, until the NWO came out during his speech, he had me too. Honestly, he is about the only guy I can be happy with joining the new NWO. I look forward to seeing what happens next.

WWF RAW

GOOD: I am actually anxious to see what Stef is wearing this week.

BAD: Conservative clothing. Bleah.

BAD: X-Pac is back. I'm with CyanIndigo on this one. He is the 1-2-3 Skid (trademark CyanIndigo).

BAD: Another shitty "Stephanie and Hunter book the show" RAW.

GOOD: Stef looks stacked in that shirt. Jesus. Did she get a Sunny over Christmas?

GOOD: The Big Show versus HHH tonight. 

BAD: Show will probably drop the title tonight. It's not his fault he isn't over, they gave him crappy angles for God sakes!

BAD: Is it me, or is this interview going on forever? I'm actually getting bored.

GOOD: Mankind is out without his mask. I hear rumblings of a return of Cactus Jack...could he appear tonight?

GOOD: Mankind recalling his alliance with DX when he won the titles last year in my backyard (Worcester, MA).

BETTER: Mankind stirring up dissent within DX.

BEST: Mankind on X-Pac. "I don't think anyone gives a damn about you."

AWESOME: Mankind on Stephanie. "The Godfather has a message for you. He wants you in the back with the rest of the Ho's.

GOOD: Rocky making the save for Mankind. It's a markout moment.

BAD: Pink slip on a pole match. We all know that Rocky isn't getting fired and that Mankind is going to retire. I guess that Mick is taking some time off again. Even the crowd is upset about it.

BAD: I get a feeling that Tori is going to turn on Kane. How many times can we go through this shit?

QUESTION: When are they going to do something with Chyna other than have her helping Jericho secretly.

GOOD: Until then, I guess we can watch her beat on Crash Holly.

GOOD: Miss Kitty in a thong.

GOOD: The pop when Chyna mounts an offense. She is over. Way over.

GOOD: Chyna wins clean.

BAD: That was predictable.

BAD: Tori talking about how much fun she had with X-Pac. One word. SWERVE.

GOOD: I saw that swerve coming. Tori's faking. What the hell is going on? Did X-Pac violate her and make her fear the touch of other men?

BAD: The fucking Mean Street Posse all over the ring.

BAD: D-Lo is the Godfather's partner? How the mighty have fallen.

BAD: What the hell is with the Dudley's new outfits? They look fucking lame.

REQUEST: Please, let Edge and Christian win this one...for once! Don't let the Acolytes take the win again.

GOOD: This match. Aside from the Hardys these are eight of the best workers in the WWF today.

GOOD: The Acolytes did not win.

BAD: Neither did Edge and Christian.

GOOD: I hate the Mean Street Posse as much as anyone, maybe more, but they do take some serious bumps and chairshots.

GOOD: Kane is talking a little more than normal.

BAD: Looks like I was wrong about Tori. Maybe she is  using Kane on behalf of DX to take out Test. Oh the myriad of possibilities!

GOOD: At least they are doing something with the Kane/Tori relationship.

BAD: Kane's lame-ass roar of anguish. Is he going to fly around the world now to turn back time? (Not-So-Vague Reference. Hey, it just came to me!)

GOOD: Kurt Angle versus the Headbangers. I really want to see this guy lose. 

GOOD: If I hate him this much, I guess he's being a good heel. 

BAD: I still hate him though. I hate him so much...the flames...flames...on the side of my face...heaving...breathless...heaving breaths...heaving...(Vague Reference, one of my faves)

BAD: Fucking Headbangers. Why do these guys suck so much? Stupid outfits...boring antics. 

BAD: They suck so bad, they jobbed to Angle. 

GOOD: At least he gets a quick postmatch beatdown.

GOOD: Teasing a HHH versus Angle match.

GOOD: Mankind not just stepping aside for Rocky. Him putting his career ahead of everything else. 

BAD: I hope this isn't setting up for a Mankind heel turn.

GOOD: Al Snow berating the crowd. He is totally into the classic heel gig. 

GOOD: To balance the classic heel gig is Jericho with his own special brand of mic work.

GOOD: Jericho versus Snow, this may well be a good match.

GOOD: It is! Great spot where Snow escapes a shot to the corner by flipping over the top rope and into a Jericho dropkick off the second turnbuckle.

GOOD: Interesting having Snow "win" the match but Jericho keeping the belt when Chyna causes a DQ.

QUESTION: Is that Harvey Whippleman with Marc Henry?

BAD: Double dates with Moolah and Mae "I ain't" Young? Oh Jesus. Make it go away.

INTERESTING: The Rock versus Mankind in the first hour...Something stinks in Suburbia. (Very Vague Reference, see if you guys are cocky about it this week.)

A THOUGHT: I just get a feeling that HHH and Stef are going to swerve the guy who gets the pink slip...I think the wrestler who gets the slip is going to be the one fired, not the other way around.

GOOD: Mankind not taking advantage of Snow's help. Hopefully there will be no heel turn.

GOOD: the sounds Mankind makes when he attacks. "Asa! Whatang! Gaha! Caman! Gaga!" I love it.

GREAT: This match. It's awesome. All the finishers are there.

GOOD: The way Rocky sells the Mandible Claw. His arms flail around like nuts. Good stuff.

GOOD: Good bump at the end there by Mick. 

BAD: Damn fired angles. I like seeing Mankind on my television.

I GUESS I WAS WRONG: They did not swerve the stipulations of the match.

BAD: Ross on the match: "The last time Mankind will ever be in a WWF ring." What a bunch of crap.

MY GUESS: Mankind will be fired, but Cactus Jack will return...eh?

GOOD: Mick's "goodbye" speech. I don't think so. He'll be back. 

GOOD: Nice standing "O" by the crowd too.

UGLY: Matt Hardy's eye. Yuk.

GOOD: Val Venis and the Cat on the same team...it says something.

GOOD: Jacqueline is in an outfit which lends itself to popping open. 

QUESTION: Why the hell is she teamed up with Viscera? 

ANOTHER QUESTION: Why is Ivory teamed with Prince Albert?

GOOD: One team that actually makes perfect sense, Luna and Gangrel. Plus they still have the best music in the WWF.

PLEASE! Let Luna and Gangrel win this one!

MY RANKING OF THIS MATCH IN ORDER OF WRESTLING TALENT: Gangrel, Venis, Ivory, Luna, Jackie, Albert, Viscera, Cat. Anyone want to dispute?

BAD: Jackie never got in the ring.

GOOD: At least Gangrel wasn't pinned.

BAD: More Mark Henry poems. Is anyone else deeply disturbed by this? 

GOOD: When Henry says "poem" it sounds like he's saying "porn." 

GOOD: Mick saying his goodbyes. I guess that's why the match was so early...they had to televise his farewell wishes.

BAD: X-Pac versus Jeff Hardy. Jesus. Let's have Waltman just beat another great wrestler.

BAD: Jim Ross attributes Matt's injury to DX. We all saw last week when Christian gave him a vicious Tomokaze and dropped him on his face.

GOOD: Awesome through the ropes dropkick by Jeff.

GOOD: Beautiful moonsault by Jeff.

GREAT: I hate to admit it, but Hardy and 1-2-3 actually put on a good match.

BULLSHIT! X-Pac kicks out of the Senton Bomb? Fuck you WWF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jesus, I am pissed off right now.

BAD: Moolah and Mae Young beating up a restaurant patron. If these two were never on my television again, I would be a happy man.

BAD: Does anyone thing it's odd that Tori complains of being "violated" by Test but walks to the ring with practically nothing on...not to mention the time she was going to go to the ring wearing nothing but a G-string on a Smackdown a while back.

GOOD: Test telling Kane to give Tori "some Midol."

BAD: What happened to Test's broken nose? It healed in two weeks?

BAD: I am just counting the seconds to the swerve. If this leads to a Kane/Test alliance, it can't be that bad.

QUESTION: Why didn't Kane watch the replay of the alleged "violation" and see what really went down?

BAD: No swerve...I guess we have to do this a couple more times.

BAD: My cable is going screwy! Agh!

NOTE: Right here, my cable went out. Only mine went out. The other two boxes in the house are fine. I called the cable company and the best they can do is Wednesday afternoon. If you know anything about me, you know that I am addicted to cable and I am WAY PISSED that I lost my signal. This comes on the heels of a lot of shit that has been going wrong. My car has been in the shop four times in the last two weeks, I bought an N64 rumble pack for my dad for Christmas and it does not work, I bought a new controller for my Dreamcast and it sticks moving right, and I ripped my new leather trench coat in the door of my car. Nothing fucking works and Y2K isn't until Saturday! 

GOOD: Fortunately, I managed to think quick and taped the rest of RAW on a working set. I may have missed a few minutes, so bear with me. I can finish the report, however. 

BAD: Although, my attitude is not so good.

GOOD: I am not too keen on Too Cool, but at least it makes sense that they get a title shot.

BAD: There's a Popsicle's chance in hell that they are going to win this one.

QUESTION: Why is Billy Gunn wrestling in a T-shirt?

GOOD: Road Dogg hit a nice scoop slam on Scotty Too Hotty. I am not sure why I noticed, but it was picture perfect.

BAD: Of course, screw job allows the NAO to retain the titles. Sometimes WWF booking is like Mad Libs. Just input the heel's name and the face's name.

GOOD: At least DX sort of gets a taste of Rikishi.

BAD: Phatu blows the belly-to-belly suplex spot.

OUT OF STEP: Scotty Too Hotty during the "victory dance."

GOOD: Stef and HHH kicking Mick out with security...I have a feeling he'll be back to help Show retain the title.

BAD: What the fuck?!? Do we have to see Mae and Mark again?

WORSE: Now we get to see Moolah and Harvey too! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

COOL: Have you noticed how small that belt looks around Wight's waist?

GOOD: Decent pop for the champ. Keep the title on him a little longer.

MY ODDS: I give it 70-30 in favor of Show. My guess is that Mick ain't quite done tonight.

MY IDEA: I still think they should make TBS as unstoppable a force as Andre was. He should wipe the floor with DX and win without help. 

BAD: They'd never do that. Even X-Pac can't lose fair.

OF COURSE: HHH makes it "No DQ." Cue the run-ins.

GOOD: Stef and HHH kicking Mick out with security...I have a feeling he'll be back to help Show retain the title.

BAD: If HHH wants the title so badly, why not make a "Blindfolded champ must fight with both hands tied behind his back and with both legs cuffed together" match?

GOOD: HHH selling for Show. Good job, Hunter.

BETTER: The Big Show No-selling for HHH. That's what I'm talking about.

GOOD: Show going for a second rope elbow drop.

WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER: ...if he connected.

BAD: If the match is No-DQ, why did the Outlaws wait for the ref bump to interfere?

GOOD: Huge pop when The Big Show got a shoulder up on HHH!

BAD: I heard HHH call "Get up, Paul!" and then "Side slam!" Then he got a salto (which everyone else calls a sidewalk slam). Way too obvious.

GOOD: The Big show cleaning house on DX. There's nothing quite as satisfying as X-Pac getting a chokeslam.

BETTER: Mick saved the day! 

BEST: The Big Show retains the title. That makes it all worthwhile.

OVERALL: Not a bad show altogether. Some good angle advancement, especially with Mankind and DX. The other angles, however, were not really focused on. In fact, what are the other angles? I fail to really se anything substantial past the Mae Young/Mark Henry thing and Chyna/Jericho. They need to work on getting some of the midcarders into their own feuds. Nonetheless, the main event was great and the crowd was into it. I was happy with this RAW.

Okay, that's it for the Millennium. Provided that the world is still here next Monday, I will see you all again next week.

Be careful out there Friday night...I have few fans as it is, I'd hate to lose some to the Rapture.

Write me at michaelangelo70@hotmail.com. All mail will be used at the pearly gates as proof that I deserve to get into Heaven.

I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.