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Michaelangelo

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BLAH

GOOD, BAD AND UGLY FOR NOVEMBER 8, 1999

Hey gang, Michaelangelo here once again to bring you all the crap that's fit to bitch about. For those of you wondering about my personal life, it sucks, but at least it's up to me how much it sucks.

Anyway, what's in the news this week?

Well, there's the Al Snow action figure scandal. Check out the RAW section for my words on that happy topic. I get nasty, so be warned.

What else? Hmm...well, there's some talk here on [slash] Wrestling about a certain female columnist's perfect...er...how can I say this with tact? Hooters? Jugs?

No?

Shit.

Okay. Her breasts. She even managed to get a mention in [slash] Hype last week. No small task. Well, boys, if you don't know to whom I am referring by now, you're either dead or new around here, so let me give you a hint...she's two colors.

Why do I mention this? Well, you'll have to keep reading to find out, let me just say that any praise she receives is well deserved...so read her column. Send her mail, and maybe she'll honor you with a look at what I consider the Tenth and Eleventh Wonders of the World.

But how would I know? <Grin>

Just read it.

Snootch, Petit.

Now then, let me make a quick comment about Bob Ryder. Now, as soon as Russo and Ferrara signed on with WCW, the Internet media jumped all over Ryder. Naturally, right? Here's a man who made a career of lambasting the competition for racy and controversial content. Now it's in his own living room and what can he say?

Well, I gave Mr. Ryder the benefit of the doubt. Of course, I knew he had to eat some humble pie and I gave him the chance to do it before I took my shots.

Well, he didn't. In fact, he still criticizes WWF for their angles while praising "the new" WCW for stuff that's got as much sex and violence as anything WWF has ever produced. He actually liked the spot when Nash and Hall wrestled the porn stars. Uh, Bob? Come on now; let's pretend that some of us out here in Cyberspace have brains. Don't treat us like we're stupid.

Bob, if you are reading this, I give you one last chance. Admit that the company that signs your paycheck dictates your opinions. If you do, I guarantee that you will start to get less heat. Look at Kevin Kelley. He knows he's a WWF shill, so does everyone else, he doesn't deny it. Does he get heat from fans and unbiased reporters? No.

If you don't, I am unleashing on you next week. I promise.

Okay, let's move on to your favorite segment and mine:

Mail Sack

From: "Jafo"

Subject: Hey!

Missed you last week, glad you're back!

COULD BE GOOD, COULD BE BAD: All these gimmick matches. If they have a Meng-style banana eating match," I'm switching to RAW

This is why I keep coming back, you're hilarious. Keep up the good work.

JAFO

(BTW, this is not my name, but an acronym I've always found funny.)

Missed you guys too. Truly, madly, deeply. If you can guess the meaning of JAFO, you win heartfelt praise and the certainty of a future as a DMV employee.

Oh, yeah. Last week, I made the following reference and challenged you guys to identify it:

PSYCHO: David Flair talking to his tire iron. "There's a kind of hush, all over the world tonight..." Get that reference and I'll declare you the king...

Well, we have a king! Here he is!

From: "Matt Plunk"

Subject: Simpsons Refernce

Lenny: Hah, Homer's talking to his ball again..

Carl: And he's bowling a perfect game (Something like tht)

Lenny: "There's a hush...all over the world tonight

Heh, your column rocks. I don 't even know if I got that right *Shrug*

Markable

Amber Rules!

Good one Markable. It was, in fact, a Simpsons reference. It was the episode when Homer managed the country-western singer, Lurleen Lumpkin.

Markable, Amber no longer rules, you do! You are the king of vague reference identification. Tell all around you to bow down and kiss your ass because Michaelangelo said so.

Okay, moving on to the question of the week...last week's question was a good one, but I got only one reply. What's wrong? Are you all dead? If so, how are you reading this column?

Who is the hottest woman in wrestling today (any federation)?

Here's my only response:

From: "Alex Beckers"

Subject: hottest woman in wrestling?

EASY - Torrie. That black one-piece she was wearing was TOO MUCH. (Not the tag-team.)

Alex

Okay, I can see that. However, my answer is much more accurate.

Before we move on to this week's question, let me tell you who I think is the hottest woman in wrestling:

CyanIndigo. Her beauty is more than just skin deep.

But how would I know?

<Snicker>

Okay, here's this week's question. I'd better get at least three answers this week or I'm telling CRZ on all of you.

Just how far is too far in professional wrestling? Have any angles struck a personally offensive chord with you? Is there any ground as yet untread that could be considered off-limits?

This requires some thought, so eat some fish and write me. NOW!

Send all responses to Michaelangelo70@hotmail.com.

Okay, now the moment you have all been waiting for:

The Good, Bad, and Ugly for November 8, 1999

WCW NITRO

GOOD:
Sid taking matters into his own hands...in his own psycho way. I guess Mr. Eudy is starting to grow on me.

GOOD: Decent pop for the Sid-ster on his way in the ring, then lots of heel heat. The audience response here is very accurate.

GOOD: Sid's tirade against the Outsiders and Goldberg. As long as he's not chasing a phony W-L record, he's much better on the stick.

BAD: The poorly doctored videotape of Goldberg quitting at the last PPV. It's as bad as the lame ending to the Royal Rumble "I Quit" match between Rocky and Foley.

A MOMENT OF CLARITY: Hey! Maybe it was a shot at the WWF. Maybe Russo hated that match's ending and his taking his own shots at it.

BAD: Probably not.

BAD: Hall wearing Walter Payton's number. Not because it's respectful, but because he's a heel. He's not supposed to be getting cheap face heat.

GOOD: Everything Hall said...I really missed this guy.

OH SHIT MOMENT: Hall mentioning "The Clique" by name. Was that the first time it's ever been referred to on the air?

GOOD: Hart and Goldberg clearing the ring. I also like the way they are going with Sid. He's out of friends...I hear rumblings of a face turn for the big man. They are leading to these ends now.

GOOD: A Goldberg/Sid "I Quit" match.

BAD: When?

GOOD: The booking for the night! This is the stuff WCW has been missing! Sid/Luger, Sting/Goldberg, and all the tournament matches. Names against names...no jobbers allowed. Watch the ratings, folks.

GOOD: Sting's new attitude. Middle of the road is where he belongs. No alliances. No friends. He can get face pops without freaky Internet columnists like me giving him shit about it.

YOWZA: Torrie Wilson. Ga-ga-ga-ga...need I say more? Did I say anything? Didn't I?

BAD: We have to hear Konnan hit the catchphrases of crap in order to see her.

GOOD: Asya and Malenko versus Torrie and Rey. I almost want to keep the TV tuned to TNT tonight.

OH MY GOD HYSTERICAL: "Screamin" Norman Smiley. When his glove wouldn't come off, I laughed. When Kidman pulled the jersey over his head and beat him, I laughed again.

BAD: When he lost, I was pissed.

BAD: Brian Knobbs on commentary. It's almost as bad as his work in the ring.

GREAT: More awesome booking in a four-way ladder match between Hall, Hart, Sid, and Goldberg for the US Title. I pick Hall to go over in that match. He's the king of ladder matches.

BAD: David Flair's "psycho" acting. He has a gimmick, but he needs acting lessons now more than he needs time at the Power Plant. "There's a kind of hush...all over the world...tonight..."

GOOD: Nash with a new disguise. Hall's comment, "You're turning into a cartoon character." That was classic.

BAD: The whole thing about Sting turning on the fans has seemingly evaporated. If they are going to ignore the past angles altogether, we should at least get a warning...maybe some sort of graphic of an eraser clearing the screen...uh...please...

GOOD: Luger hiding from Sting. Classic heel tactics.

GOOD: Liz. She may be older, but she has been wearing those outfits well, especially since the "augmentation."

GOOD: Sting's "little talk" with Liz. Interesting side to his character...do whatever you have to do to get what you need.

GOOD: Heenan on TP's entrance. "That's not Larry Bird, that's the Total Package."

BAD: Luger citing a 14-year friendship. Uh...how much of that time were they actually on the same side? Six days total? Okay, nineteen.

BAD: I miss Ric Flair. Come back to us Nature Boy!

BAD: Luger asking Sting for a hug. I thought Lenny and Lodi got fired for this stuff.

GOOD: Kimberly's dress. Yegads. Sorry, WWF, but WCW has the BEST looking women in wrestling...by far...except for CyanIndigo (but how would I know?).

BAD: Ug...Madusa is out to prove me wrong.

BAD: If David Flair is going to lay a vicious beating on Kimberly and the announcer know it, why not send someone out to help her? Didn't she just ask for extra security?

GOOD: Benoit is here to make this a very short match.

GOOD: Madusa manages to keep Benoit at bay...she hit a nice hurricanrana on him, but he managed to fell her with one chop. They play up her skill in the ring without making Benoit look bad. I guess that's acceptable.

INTERESTING: Johnny Boon holding his own against Evan Kariagas? What's that about?

GOOD: Jarrett "coming to Madusa's aid" at the end of the match and scoring a DQ win for Benoit.

GOOD: Madusa attacking him after he tries to explain himself. Seems like he can't escape his reputation.

BAD: Jeff may be tired of this hitting women angle. Hey, I like it, but they'd better go somewhere with it and get on with it.

BAD: We only get minimal Benoit tonight.

BAD: Chavo's suit. He looks like a kid who raided his dad's wardrobe on his way to a job interview.

BAD: Hacksaw Jim Duggan cleaning the toilets. Uh...no. Look, I make fun of him as much as anyone, but he was once a fairly well loved personality and the kid in me is really pissed off at seeing this. But then, hey, I'm just marking out. Maybe that makes this GOOD.

ODD BOOKING: Disco versus Steiner? Is this a Cruiserweight Title defense?

BAD: Tony Marinara? As an Italian American, I am personally revolted by this whole angle. Cement? Come on.

GOOD: The match was over fast, which means that I don't have to look at Steiner for very long.

AD SAVVY: A commercial for tickets to a Smackdown taping in Providence. Heh.

BAD: Can you see the swerve coming from those two cops guarding Hall and Nash?

WORSE: Why did the woman (Kim) have no escorts when these two huge guys have a couple of guard in riot gear?

FUNNY AS HELL: Nash as an amalgam of 80's managers...the Grand Wizard of wrestling. Good stuff.

FINALLY ALMOST OVER: The Nitro Girl search is almost over.

GOOD: They are making it into an angle by bringing AC Jazz in to start talking trash about Spice. Wow, a heel Nitro girl.

BETTER: Spice is out to even the odds. She even uses the word "ho." CRZ picked a bad week to get sick...

BEST: They start fighting again. Ring the bell! Ring the bell!

BAD: Kimberly still has no help as she is being stalked by psycho tire-iron wielding freak. If the cameraman can see her, why can't security?

RUMOR KILLER: Dustin Runnells as the Ghost Cowboy...word was they killed this angle. I guess that just proves the old adage that everything you read on the Internet is steaming piles of bullshit.

RUMOR KILLER KILLER: Whoops! Looks like the "7even" gimmick is dead after all.

GOOD: Great shoot by Runnels. "Golddust sucked" and "They dressed me up like Uncle Fester." Yeah! Add one more to those against the Powers That Be.

MOST CONSECUTIVE USES OF THE WORD ASS: This spot.

GOOD: Decent pop for a Dusty Rhodes mention.

BAD: What is the point of the "stalking of Kimberly" videos? Okay, David Flair is semi entertaining, but it has gone on too long...

BAD: The sound during Luger and Liz's backstage meetings. You couldn't hear a word.

GOOD: Tony actually made himself useful and told us what Luger said. Wow. I never thought Schiavone would get a "GOOD" in this column.

QUESTION: Is Sting a face or heel now?

GOOD: Once again, Russo and Ferrara making Goldberg the center of the promotion. It's so crazy, it just might work.

I WONDER: Did Russo write the "Gillberg" spots? If so, does Goldberg get a free punch? Head or gut, Vince?

BAD: The ten-minute entrance by Goldberg. Bo-ring. Bo-ring.

BAD: The mace sprayed like perfume. What did they, Chanel #5 Sting?

BAD: This match that they hyped for an hour lasted only two minutes. Uh, hello? I sneezed and the fucking thing was done.

INTERESTING: I don't know quite what to say about Nash's voice as "The Wizard/" It's annoying and hysterical at the same time. It's annoysterical.

GOOD: I just invented a word!

GOOD: Hacksaw Jim Duggan mopping the floor. Yeah, I know that I bitched about him cleaning the toilet, but does anyone else think that he resembles a Mankind-like character while he's doing those chores? Think about it.

GOOD: Vamp's new makeup. But, then, I like everything Vampiro does.

BAD: Unfortunately, he's jobbing to Buff tonight. I don't like that.

BAD: The Misfits attacking Buff. Looks like backyard wrestling. Ug. Keep them out of the ring at all costs.

HORRIBLE: Buff knocking the Misfits off the apron. He didn't even touch them and they flew like birds. Jesus.

GOOD: If Vampiro has to job to Bagwell, at least he got screwed out of the win.

INTERESTING: Luger faking a knee injury. We'll see. I bet he fights Sid anyway.

GOOD: Saturn versus Hart. These boys put on a good match, as expected.

BAD: I could have done without Shane Douglas on the commentary.

GREAT: Hart kicking out of the DVD! Yes! That's a jump out of your seats moment!

GOOD: Hart getting the submission win with the Sharpshooter. Cool as ice.

BAD: The music in WCW needs some work. People still don't know who's coming out from match to match.

GOOD: Nash's shot at the WWF, UT, and Austin. I laughed. Apparently, these digs are going to be a regular thing in WCW. Just enjoy the ride. I am.

INTERESTING: Is Luger swerving Liz too? She seems to think he's hurt...Face turn for the Lovely one?

GOOD: Working a Stevie Ray suspension into the storyline. Good idea. Now Booker can get back to his singles career and the fans have some sort of explanation for why Harlem Heat has vanished again.

GOOD: Booker on the stick. He doesn't get enough mic time.

BAD: They censored Jarrett for saying "Slap Nut" Oh, come on. Are they going to censor the words "peanut," "walnut," and "semprini" too? (Get that reference and you're the new king.)

GOOD: The woman who ran in to help Booker. Wow. Big and beautiful.

UGLY: That guitar shot she took! Holy shit. That was the most vicious looking thing I've seen in a long time.

FUTURE MATCH: Asya versus that woman.

YOWZA: Torrie's ring gear. May not be practical, but I won't tell her if you don't.

GOOD: Liz getting flustered with Luger. I like the way this is going.

BAD: Asya handcuffing Torrie to the top rope. We wanted to see a catfight. Boo!

GOOD: Rey jobbing...for once.

BAD: Rey is nursing a "serious knee injury" after his loss and Kidman is worried about Torrie. It's always a woman...

WOW: Isn't Kimberly tired? She's been running for two hours straight.

INTERESTING: Is that a face pop for Sid?

GOOD: Sting rolling Luger into the ring to get pummeled by Sid.

FACE MOMENT: Sid gently lifting Liz and moving her so that he can beat on Luger.

BAD: Why did Goldberg choose that moment to attack Sid? He should have at least let him get off the powerbomb.

GOOD: He speared Luger too.

BAD: Out to ruin a decent Nitro is Brian Knobs.

GOOD: Bigelow is here to save this match.

QUESTION: Where the hell is Kanyon?

GOOD: Norman Smiley at the announce table. "Does Bam Bam Bigelow have any dental insurance?"

GOOD: Angle consistency as Kimberly implores Bam Bam for help.

BAD: How can you be counted out in a hardcore match? What the fuck is that?

BAD CHOICE OF WORDS: Bam Bam says, "Come on Flair, you want to pick on a girl, pick on me." Uh...rethink that one big guy.

GOOD: Sign: Last Call for Hall.

GOOD: Hall versus Leroux. Not a bad match. Hall really helped this kid produce something watchable. Hey, we knew Lash had to lose, and losing to Scott Hall is kind of a victory in itself.

GREAT: Hall's fallaway slam. I missed that move!

AWESOME: Yeah, I know it was telegraphed, but Goldberg appearing as one of the armed guards was a mark out moment. It is one of those things that kids talk about the next day at school.

GOOD: Jarrett and Henning in a match. The Powers That Be prove that there's still room for good mat wrestling in the WCW. Don't fuck it up Russo, give us a helping of this each week combined with your quick shot angle development and you will win the day...and the night.

GOOD: Henning selling that knee injury like a pro. Gotta love this guy. Mr. Perfect. Yeah.

UGLY: The beating Henning took outside the ring.

BAD: What's the deal with Henning getting fired if he is pinned? If they want him out so bad, why don't they just fire him?

COMING AT YOU: Kimberly's breasts. They aren't nicer than CyanIndigo's, though...but how would I know?

FAUX FEARLESS: Kimberly calls out David Flair while she's in the ring. Real brave of you.

GOOD: Heenan on Kimberly's stockings. "I wonder what a whole pair of socks cost."

GOOD: The look in David Flair's eyes as he stalks to the ring. Smacks of his dad. Not nearly as good, but hey, I laughed. Isn't that the point?

PSYCHO: David Flair destroying the car that Kimberly is hiding inside. Okay, you win, WCW. The kid could get over this way...maybe.

GREAT: The booking of the main event. Having Nash as the guest referee may not have made sense, but it sure was cool.

LACKLUSTRE: The match itself. Not worthy of Hall's history of ladder matches.

WHAT?: David Flair versus Kimberly at the PPV? What the hell is that for?

GOOD: Now any time Steiner is on my screen is bad time, but continuing an angle that started on Thunder is a good thing. Always.

BAD: The ending to this match. Eh. I like Hall as the champ, but the way he won it was not so good.

OVERALL: Another packed show by WCW. Admittedly, I am more interested in what's going on here than on RAW. Why? I am tired of the same angles and the same matches over and over again. WCW may not be unique, but they sure are a lot fresher these days...and all my favorites (Benoit, Hart, Hall, Vampiro) appear to be getting the pushes we all know they deserve.

WWF RAW

BAD:
WWF starts out again with Stone Cold Steve Austin.

WORSE: He's talking trash about McMahon...again. I am beginning to see the chink in WWF's armor. Their roster is too weak to maintain the ratings without some new blood to spice things up.

YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE COOL?: If there was a unification of WWF and WCW. Who would be the winner there? The fans!

BAD: Yeah, right.

BAD: Time once was that Austin would have stunnered Vince ten times by now.

BAD: Another bad microphone.

GOOD: Austin and Vince improvising about it. I marked when Austin tossed it and laughed my ass off when Vince yelled "That was a $10 thousand microphone!"

UH, WHAT?: Why does Vince's appointment as guest ref at the PPV title match prove that he is not lying about his actions? I smell a swerve.

GOOD: Rocky is out to save the segment.

GOOD: The Rock says what I just said. He smells monkey crap.

GREAT: Another mic gets tossed. The look on Vince's face was classic.

GOOD: Vince bringing up Rocky's sledgehammer shot on Austin in light of his own accusations.

GOOD: HHH coming out and calling Austin, Rocky, and Vince a bunch of screw-ups. This segment actually gets meaty at this point. HHH comes out and heels it up in as the faces bicker.

GOOD: The Outlaws using the Al Snow figure to goad Snow and Foley into a title shot.

PERSONAL COMMENTARY: Let me just say something about this whole "decapitated head" in the action figure package. It makes me ashamed to be a journalist (and I did wrote for a newspaper for two years) to see such irresponsibility on the part of the media in handling this issue. Did ANYONE do any research on this issue? If they did one ounce of research, they would have realized the truth. Fuck every reporter and editor who printed factually inaccurate information just to sell more papers. Here's what I propose, got to any store that still has the Al Snow Figure and BUY EVERY ONE OF THEM! Fuck K-Mart and Wal-Mart for buckling to the pressure of one self-important, power-hungry, book-burning bitch. Boycott, my minions. Boycott.

GOOD: The Outlaws getting some boos between their catchphrases. The heel tactics are starting to take hold.

BAD: James should know that if he wants to be a heel, he has to lay off the "Ladies and gentlemen..." shtick.

BAD: The tag titles changing hands again? Jesus! Every five seconds, these belts change waists. Can you say, "No credibility"?

UGLY: Hunter's ass. We didn't need to see that. Really. I promise. What's on Nitro?

GOOD: Al Snow getting a chance to address the "action figure" issues. Maybe some of you think they should let it go by now. FUCK THAT. This kind of shit has to stop. Hammer it into the ground, WWF. Don't let up!

GOOD: The Godfather's ho's are looking fine tonight.

BAD: Val versus Godfather again? Jesus. Remember what I said about that light roster.

BAD: All those copies of "Have a Nice Day" being burned. I can't get a copy of it to save my life! Stop destroying them!

GOOD: They at least hint that there was once an alliance between these two men.

BAD: An expected heel attack on the Godfather by Val. Come on. There comes a time when character development should be more important than heel tactics. Val should be taking the ho's. Period. If not, maybe you should change the gimmick.

BAD: Countout victory for the Godfather? Uh. If a guy jumps in the ring and attacks one of the scheduled wrestlers, it generally means that the other wrestler is DQ'ed. Tim White just wanted to dance with the ho's...again.

GOOD: They're closing the Big Show "father dying" angle. The whole thing went over well. Show is a face presence, Bossman is a majorly hated heel, and the blowoff match was fought. Now we can get on with our lives.

GOOD: For a really insightful theory on the wedding of Test and Stephanie, read the lovely and sexy CyanIndigo's column this week. It's hot and spicy and really provocative...and not just because she has great breasts...because she has great brains.

BAD: People waving at the camera during a moment of silence for a deceased man. I know that it's a work and the man passed away about two years ago, but fucking moronic is fucking moronic. Period.

BAD: Oh shit...the Bossman interrupts the ten-bell salute to TBS's father's memory. Jesus. I thought it was over.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH: The poem he read. Whatever. Why couldn't you let it go?

BAD: Arnold on Smackdown. How the mighty have fallen...

BAD: Kurt Angle's new...uh...angle. A "real athlete"? Uh, let's undermine the validity of all the other guys a bit more, please.

GOOD: He's actually good in the ring. I look forward to seeing him work.

GREAT: Edge and Christian! Woo!

BAD: The fucking Outlaws have the belts...again. Hey, bookers! Uh, why not throw some gold at the two Canadians who get standing ovations?

GOOD: The Mean Street Posse have changed their ring outfits, finally.

BAD: Rodney is wearing a baseball hat backwards in the ring.

GOOD: Decent match. If it's one thing the Mean Street Posse can do, it's take bumps.

SWEET: Christian with a huge dropkick on Pete "Gas." Right in the face.

BAD: In the time it took me to write that line, the match was over. Come on.

GOOD: At least it was a clean pin.

GOOD: Jericho referring to Beaver Stadium as being named after a woman. The guy just never stops getting himself over as a heel.

BAD: If he loses at Survivor Series, that's career poison. He'd better get the strap.

OKAY: X-Pac versus Rocky. Yeah, okay...whatever.

BAD: I small a screwjob.

GOOD: People Magazine's spread on The Rock. Finally, he gets billing over Austin. He's on his way to being #1...

BAD: Hopefully his being appointed "The world's sexiest wrestler" won't go to his head. If he does the People's Grind, I will never watch again.

DECENT: This match. Not terrible. I can dig it.

BAD: When X-Pac jumped on Rocky's back and applied the sleeper, why didn't he just fall backwards onto him to shake him off?

GOOD: Rocky goes over X-Pac cleanly.

GOOD: Test getting his title shot and main event opportunity. Someone at WWF has been reading my mind...or my columns.

BAD: Hell will freeze over before Test wins the title.

BAD: When is Chyna going to defend the belt against someone worthwhile? Is she too good to defend on Mondays? We have to wait until every PPV?

HORRIBLE: Stevie Richard serenading Chyna while dressed as The Honky Tonk Man. If I have to make some smart-ass quip about why this is so, then you just have no soul.

GOOD: Jericho makes the save. Thank God.

GREAT: The shmozz that resulted. Jericho and Chyna really went at one another. If she isn't going to wrestle, this isn't a bad alternative. It definitely turned up the heat on the feud.

GOOD: The Acolytes new bar hopping ways. They should change their name to "The Lushes."

GOOD: Al Snow on Walmart. "I went in to buy my action figure but I couldn't. I could buy a shotgun and some ammunition, though." Yep. Yep. Yep. Fuck Wal-mart.

BETTER: Mankind and Al going back and forth...I like the "head" references. "Shut up, Al!"

QUESTION: Why is Torrie allied with Kane? What led to that? Why does she not come down to ringside with him? Who fucking cares?

BAD: Sign in the crowd:

We

Can't

Wrestle

Think again, folks. Two words...Benoit and Hart.

BAD: Sacrificing Kane to The Big Bossman. Come on. Who should get the push here? Not Traylor, I promise you.

BAD: Too Cool. God dammit. This is "Honky" heat. This is the kind of heat that The Honky Tonk Man lived on for 18 months in the WWF and I genuinely hated the guy for all that time.

WORSE: Get the King's kid off the stick! He is curdling my milk with the sound of his voice.

LAME AS LAME CAN BE: Scotty Too Hotty's "swim up and drop the elbow" move. Is everyone trying to come up with a move more lame that the People's Elbow?

GOOD: The Hollys win the match. Good. Good. Great. Awesome. Fantastic. Have I made myself clear?

GOOD: The impending barroom brawl involving the Acolytes. I like this new gimmick. Bad asses who wipe the floor with local color's asses. I guess I'm just that refined a man.

CONVENIENT: Farouk and Bradshaw wait until after the commercials to beat up the guys in the bar. That worked out so well...it almost seemed...planned!

BAD: That's the whole fucking spot? Good God. Let's get some meat in between the bread, folks!

AGAIN: The boot of the week has nothing to do with feet. Okay. Yep. Whatever. Why bother mentioning it at all? Eh, gotta fill this column somehow.

GOOD: Anyone else notice the similarity of HHH and Vince's feud to a certain Hitman screwjob a couple of years back? I would not have mentioned it until I heard Vince yell, "Ring the damn bell!" at the start of the match. Maybe it's me and I'm over thinking this, but that's my job. That's all I'm saying. Chew on that.

GOOD: Test taking serious bumps this match. Wow. Come on Vince, he's gonna be family. Give him a legitimate title push...at least IC title!

BAD: If Vince costs Test the win here by hitting him with the belt again, I will be pissed.

BAD: Test going for the elbow drop while hurt. Just cover him!

GOOD: Having DX save HHH by abducting Stephanie McMahon. Good swerve. Decent ending to the match...I guess. We knew that Test was not going to win the belt, they had to get out of it somehow...I guess that was as good a way as any.

BAD, VERY BAD: Now, I know that having DX abduct Stef may have been okay, but the idea that they RAPED her is just way too much for me. When they are positioning DX in order to sell merchandise, having them pin a girl down and roll her skirt up is just not the kind of territory you should be exploring. I mean...I am not one to be offended by much of anything. Sure, I love women in skimpy outfits, but depicting a group of men holding a woman down and...well...you know what I mean...is wrong. It's bad. It's obviously meant to generate heat and pull some steam from the accelerating WCW Nitro show. Vince, have you been reduced to deflowering your own daughter to win? Get some help, my man.

BAD: HHH flipping off the crowd. That's going to garner about a million posts to Internet news boards everywhere about Austin having backstage heat with Helmsley because of the stolen gesture. Bleah.

OVERALL: Seemed like another phoned in show. Is it just me, or are the angles in the WWF just no longer...interesting? They'd better get a lot stronger fast, because the WCW is actually putting on a good combo of wrestling and angle development. On the plus side, I managed to work in two Honky Tonk Man references in this report. That alone is worth some kudos. No?

Okay kiddies, that's it for another fine week of wrestling action and short-attention span commentary. If you like this stuff, and I know you do, be sure to drop me a line. In fact, write me even if you hate this stuff. Either way, I just love getting mail.

You love me, you hate me, either way, make sure you read everyone here on [slash] Wrestling. We all pour our souls out for you week in and week out...and for what? For what? A byline on a website? A handful of e-mails from which we are barely able to suck so little praise to get us through the week semi-fulfilled? You ungrateful curs! Why I ought to...

Er...ahem...

Uh, sorry. Been a tough season.

Thanks for reading...write me at michaelangelo70@hotmail.com. All mail will be answered or wadded into a ball and shot out of a cannon.

I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.

Michaelangelo
[slash] wrestling

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