Hey Internet wrestling freaks. My name's Michaelangelo and before my webmaster vanished, I did a Nitro Recap on The Source. Most of you probably never read it. That's okay, though, CRZ was good enough to let me dump my opinions here on his new website. Thanks CRZ. Hopefully what I write won't be a total pile of garbage.

Anyway, in lieu of doing yet another recap, since CRZ and Hyatte have those bases way covered. Instead, I decided just to do a springboard Monday Night rant called the Good, Bad, and Ugly. Yeah, I know that it's been done before, but it's a tried and true format and gives me a great opportunity to spew opinions in an easy-to-read style. If anyone else can think of a better name for this column, by all means submit them to me at michaelangelo70@hotmail.com.

Anyway, here we go.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly for Monday, August 2, 1999

WCW GOOD: Harlem Heat versus the Jersey Triad at the start of RAW. Decent match, in spite of a few messy spots. It is good to see Stevie Ray and Booker T. back together. Hopefully, Booker will help to put his brother over a bit more. 

WCW BAD: The match was non-title, which tells any fan worth his salt that the challenger will get put over. What's wrong with a title change on Nitro once in a while? It could really help fuel the feud going into the PPV.

WCW GOOD: Scott Hudson calling the shots in place of Schiavone. He has demonstrated his versatility and ability to pay attention to the action instead of hyping every other angle besides the one that is playing out in the ring. 

WCW BAD: He got bumped halfway through the night and never came back. If his injuries are real and serious, he may not be back anytime soon. How many injuries does it take before they send Steiner back to the Power Plant?

WCW VERY GOOD: Benoit was surprisingly good on the mic, and he went over DDP in a clean pin. Kudos to both men for entertaining well all night long.

WCW BAD: Why the hell are Lenny and Lodi still playing out an angle that doesn't really have any steam anymore? Hogan nixed the "ambiguously gay" thing a couple of weeks back, so why do we care about these guys and why are they still acting like they are homosexuals? While I am on the subject, who the hell booked the Cat to go over both of these guys? I mean, they are jobbers, but why not save the handicap squashes for guys like Nash and Sid. Ernest Miller does not deserve that kind of win.

WCW BAD: The Cat's stupid red Dorothy shoes. It hearkens back to the lame ass gimmicks of the 70's like the Iron Sheik's "loaded boot" or Iron Mike Sharp's "controversial" wristband. I never understood why those things were so devastating to an opponent, and I don't understand why getting kicked with a red shoe knocks a guy out. It's a lame gimmick that needs to be ended immediately. For that matter, Ernest Miller is a lame gimmick...you get the idea.

WCW BAD: Promos for Chad Brock and KISS. I simply can't believe that Bischoff didn't learn from the tremendous failures of Master P. and Megadeth. Please, please, please stop this now. I don't care how many KISS fans are out there. Wrestling fans will tune out while they are on stage. I promise.

WCW BAD: Hogan still wearing an NWO shirt...time to change that look since there's really nothing left of the Wolfpack or the New World Order anymore. It astounds me that a company with as much money as Turner Broadcasting can allow such important details to be overlooked. Does Sid even have any music yet?

WCW GOOD: The name "Kevin Nash" is finally garnering heel heat from the fans. Hey, it only took a year. Hogan on the other hand finally shaved off that shoe polish and is getting face pops. They aren't overwhelming, but they are getting louder each week. Hey, if the guy refuses to hang it up, at least he going out as a good guy. He always did his best work that way.

WCW BAD: Any program with members of the First Family.

WCW GOOD: Except if Dean Malenko and Shane Douglas are involved. They make anyone look good.

WCW BAD: David Flair and Torrie in backstage interviews. They are like a couple of corpses reading off of cue cards hidden in their laps.

WCW GOOD: David Flair and Torrie in ring interviews. It's like night and day. Torrie is far and away the most attractive woman in professional wrestling today. When David gets in the ring lately, his persona is much more defined. I see more of his dad in him each week, and that's a good thing.

WCW GOOD: The return of Disco Inferno. I had feared that his recent comments on WCW Live! about the politics of the federation would have earned him a one way ticket to jobberville. It seemed like he phoned in his match most of the way, but let's just hope that's a minor case of ring rust and that he'll be up to snuff soon. All they need to do now is come up with a decent angle to put him into.

WCW BAD: Another replay of the "Crush 'Em" video. If they have all this time to fill, why not make a few more matches each week? Either that or cut the show by an hour. 

WCW GOOD: The Nitro Girls are back! I'm sorry, but I mark out for Chae in a big way.

WCW BAD: What happened to the pyrotechnics for the wrestler's entrances? Booker T. And DDP both came out to dry flashes. Vampiro on the other hand practically burned the place down.

WCW GOOD: No sign of Jason Hervey, Patty Stonegrinder, or Robert Wuhl. 

WCW BAD: Sid and Bischoff trying to steal the name "Millennium Man" out from under WWF. We all know that Jericho will probably be at the end of the "Millennium Countdown" on WWF television. While the title "Millennium Man" was never mentioned, it has been circulating around the net. Sid's claim to this name was obviously a shot at Titan. Too bad for WCW that Vince will probably spin this in a way that will make WCW and Bischoff look stupid.

WCW BAD: The entire Macho Man program. The guy has no direction right now. He hates everyone but has yet to make any kind of a move towards his enemies. Mona was pitiful in her interview and Rodman is just another overpaid, worthless celebrity who is obviously out of control, as evidenced by his over muted mic work. As far as this feud goes, who is the good guy here? Rodman has been using mostly heel tactics lately and Macho beats women, so do we really care who wins this match?

WCW GOOD: Vampiro versus Eddie Guerro. Vampiro is so cool, I can almost overlook the Insane Clown Posse at ringside. These two guys worked their asses off and managed to pull off the best match of the night. I can't wait until Raven gets back in the ring... 

WCW BAD: Hogan on commentary for the main event. Three weeks as a face and he has already "passed the torch" to Sting and Goldberg. His ultra-good attitude as of late is really too sugary for my tastes. He is trying to hard to be the Hulkster...he should let it happen on tis own isntead of ramming it down the fans' collective throats.

WCW GOOD: The massive bump Hogan took when Nash powerbombed him through the table. That was impressive.

WCW UGLY: Bischoff saying "Here in the WWF...sorry the WCW..." That sounds just awful. He must have been kicking his own ass over that one.

WCW UGLY: That knot on the back of Goldberg's head. Yuck!

WWF GOOD: Hardcore Holly and his new attitude. I like a guy who's balls are larger than his brains. The fans love seeing the guy constantly getting the tar pounded out of him and it looks like he may be the future cause of a feud between UT and Big Show after their heel team run. Stay tuned!

WWF BAD: Farouk on the stick. Keep the microphone away from this guy.

WWF GOOD: Edge vs. Gangrel. These two can really work a match. Edge is rapidly becoming one of my favorites in both federations. Lots of great bumps, hard work, and an ending that resolved an angle. Who could ask for anything more?

WWF BAD: Jerry Lawler on commentary. He really serves no purpose other than to yelp when Kane enters the arena and act the mega-heel supporter. To top it all off his stupid obsession with tits has gone way past old. Every time he opens his mouth, I want to stick a tire iron in it. If he says the word "puppies," I want to shove a whole tire in there. Where's Andy Kaufman when you need him?

WWF GOOD: Shane McMahon shooting on WCW. If you are going to mention the competition in an insulting way, it's important to be right. Shane was spot on in saying that there would be no "dubbya-cee-dubbya" without Vince McMahon. If you are paying attention Eric, that's how you take pot shots at the competition. 

WWF GOOD: Kane being over as a face. He's getting much better in the ring. The only problem is the fact that, due to his character's "condition" he can't really get on the stick at all. How that plays out down the road will be interesting.

WWF GOOD: The Rock on the mic. He manages to change his routine just subtly enough to keep it entertaining. Now if he could learn a few more moves in the ring...

WWF GOOD: D-Lo Brown ignoring Debra's tits long enough to win the Intercontinental Title. That whole routine of her showing her tits to distract Jarrett's opponents was so goddamned tired. Finally, a wrestler was smart enough to watch the previous shows and figured out how to avoid a loss.

WWF BAD: Jarrett will probably win the title back at the rematch.

WWF BAD: Viscera. This guy is so slow, he made the Big Bossman look like a flying luchadore. Why do they keep him around. It takes him forty minutes to get in and out of the ring. How the hell does a man of his size and girth stay alive while wrestling in a long leather coat? It boggles the mind.

WWF GOOD: Rodney getting his lunch handed to him by Test. Guys who wrestle in Khaki's and sweater vests suck. I am not a huge fan of Test's but I hope they book him to smush every member of the "Mean Street Posse."

WWF GOOD: Blackman. Period.

WWF BAD: Clusterfuck endings to main events. Every once in a while, we'd like to see an ending that doesn't involve five run-ins and a chairshot DQ.

WWF UGLY: That big fat ass they showed on the TitanTron. Note to Vince: NEVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN!

Well, that's it for my first edition of The Good, Bad, and Ugly from Monday Night. Questions, comments, insults? Mail me at michaelangelo70@hotmail.com.

I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.