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/wrestling /guests /abyssmal |
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/wrestling /guests /abyssmal |
| Guest Columns | abyssmal |
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INTO THE ABYSS... Hey, I LIKE Lilian Garcia! Technically, y'know, she's right. They are only one round.... Anyhoo. SummerSlam. I have to admit this card rocked. From D'lo takin' one in the head to Austin takin' a beating to the knees, it was a pretty solid show. Except for the woman's championship, which kinda blew. The only cool thing about the match was Ivory trying to strip Tori and the run in by Luna. The Test/Shane match just goes to prove my theory that promoters take some of the nastiest bumps in the business. Way to take one for the team! I was surprised when Shane interfered in the main event, only to take more abuse. Bump away, Boy Wonder. I like the way the WWF is handling Jericho. First, tease us with a verbal dual between Rocky and Jericho. Then have Jericho verbally punk out the Twin Towers of Fat, two of the most over heels in the fed. Finally settle him in with a feud with Road Dogg, a upper mid-carder with solid mic skills. Pretty steady, solid development if you ask me. Taking notes, WCW? Maybe Jericho will make Doggy look better in the ring, too. On to RAW, shall we? RAW Ralphus is back! Only now he's skinnier and can talk! Vince is the master of fuck-you television. He's lifted Jericho's entire WCW gimmick, turned it sideways, and shoved it straight up Bischoff's candyass. And Finkel parodying the Ultimate Warrior? Take that, you incoherent piece of shit! Love him or hate him, you got to admire Vince's style. I like the direction Jarrett is taking. I don't think he could survive long without Debra, and the addition of Mark Henry provides a little insurance for the "greatest IC champ of all time". Whose going to take the belt off Jarrett? My bet's on Chyna. Now that HHH got the title, it's HER time! SHE'S the game! (Please God, don't give it to Bad Ass...) Everyone seems to think that Kane is looking down on the broken form of X-Pac with sympathy. I'm beginning to think there's a little exasperation there, too. I mean, how many times can you be expected to carry your partner back to the dressing room? Besides, I think Kane is more over than X-Pac right now. Things are getting interesting. Will Stephanie say yes? Do we care? I hope they don't drag this out to long. Test needs to take advantage of his new found heat and start beating up wrestlers, not stooges. HHH is just mean, breaking poor JR's arm like that. Do you think that created enough heat for HHH to take the WWF title? Apparently the booking people did. And I bet they hope that heat lasts until WrestleMania, where he drops the title to Austin. Oh, I'm sure he'll lose it a couple times before then , but I'm boldly predicting a Austin-HHH main event at WrestleMania. (Hey, I know I sucked hard in my SummerSlam predictions, but do you really think that's going to stop me? I told you I'd be pulling shit out my ass.) Nitro I was sitting in a long, boring ass meeting today hoping, no, praying for Sid Vicious to run in and power bomb the shit out of my boss. Unfortunately, Sid's only interested in power bombing my interest in WCW to oblivion. You go, boy. It's almost there. Y'know, WCW almost had it right. Sting was out there cutting his promo for the big title match with Hogan and out comes Lex Luger (HOLY SHIT!). They hug and make kissy-kissy, and Luger gives Sting his dire warning: Hogan gives me the heebie-jeebies, Sting old buddy, old pal. Please don't trust him. Sting pooh-pooh's the warning , saying this shot is legit, thanks for your concern. They leave the ring to a good pop and I have to sit through a hour and a half of Sid run-ins. Finally, the main event. The match itself was OK. Sting could make a block of granite look good. Both men kick out of the other's finisher. The match is starting to get interesting. Then the run in occurs. Is it...? NO! Jesus fucking Christ, no! Sid and Dog Boy run in and beatdown both Sting and Hogan. Goldberg and Luger make the save. Yipee. Hasn't this been the main event, or a variation therof, for the last three weeks? Why do I care anymore? WCW? HELLOOO? Why not have LUGER run in? You set it up, for Christ's sake. Have Luger run in and beat down... oh, I don't give a fuck, beat 'em both up. At least it's DIFFERENT. It creates DRAMATIC TENSION. Something WCW has no clue of. No, we have to wait for the next PPV for the heel turn (I don't care who anymore). Rumor has it that WCW is looking to hire a writer to do their storylines. GOOD. Until that happens stop any attempt to advance a story and just concentrate on wrestling. You're good at that. You suck at story telling. Uncle Eric laid down the law last Nitro, and now Konnan, Raven, and Kidman appear to be walking. Konnan and Raven are noted malcontents, so they were no surprise, but Kidman? Perhaps he's been watching a little too much RAW? That's it for this week, kiddies. I'm gone. abyssmal freelance Mail the Author |
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