I'm feeling a bit better this week about the WWF. Not a lot, but a little. There are things that I just need to fast forward though, and there are things that deserve my attention. The FED had a few great moments this week though, as did WCW. I'll try to hit 'em all, and if I don't, they probably weren't worth mentioning anyhoo.

First off, was anyone else waiting for Vince to make the main event into a mixed tag? When Regal announced that it would be Rock/Angle, I was elated. Of course, I was certain that it would be 'amended', but the idea of a one on one main even gave me rosy cheeks and a schoolboy grin. And it was a pretty good main event too. Granted, we all knew SCSA would run in and do his weekly stunnering, yet I still enjoyed it. I should not be this happy for what should be a standard in the business, but I take what I can get.

To tell you the truth, I haven't marked out like the way I did for Shane-O-Mac's return in a long time. Man did that come off great. Although this will probably be a big hoax on the fans, where Shane is working in his father's interests, the meantime should be great. If there is one child who should be on TV, it's Shane. Steph has worn out her welcome, even if she does run a lot. I've always been one to fantasize about Shane taking over WCW and leading a father vs. Son, Fed vs. Fed war, but unless Vince starts killing babies on national TV, I just don't see it happening. Oh well..

I felt like taking a shower and scrubbing my skin with paint thinner after the "You lay down, then I'll lay down" segment. This was just gross. It's pathetic to think that teasing sex on one show will have a cross effect on ratings on another show. All week I've heard that we're going into the cheerleader's locker room at half time. Did it make a dent? Slightly. Will it save the XFL? No. For the love of hamburgers would you please get off my TV and let the wrestlers WRESTLE! Vince, no one wants to see your mid-life crisis on Monday nights anymore. Nothing you say can make the millions hate you anymore. You have shaped and molded the fan opinion of you, there's no need to reiterate your scumness.

Here we go again, This weeks "Vince McMahon's Moment of My Life"

I was fishing with a friend of mine a while ago. We go out, sit on the lake, talk and enjoy ourselves. Once in a while we get competitive about our catching skills. This day in particular, we both had only caught one bass each. Mine was big, but his was a lunker. He couldn't wait to get back to dock to take a picture of it, and get it mounted. I pretended to be exited for him, and when he was relieving himself off the side of the boat, I threw it back.

That was this weeks "Vince McMahon's Moment of My Life"

Besides my hidden angst towards Vince, I do think WM is coming along nicely. I know I don't want to see a Rock/SCSA main event, but a lot more people than I do, so I will accept it. I said "I" four times in that sentence, does that mean my skills are dulling? Did I ever have skills?

Moving right along to the WCW train.

Why on God's green Earth would I have sat down this week and NOT expected to see Lex Luger or Rick Steiner. I don't know why, but for some reason, the mental sanity part of my brain told me I wouldn't have to watch them this week, probably for my own safety. But there they were, in all there so selling, no working, poor acting, elderly stealing, illegal handicap parking glory. I am convinced, CONVINCED I TELL YOU, that WCW feels no need to put anything good on TV anymore, save maybe the Cruiserweights. When you're trying to rebuild a company, and your competing against BILL Fucking GATES, you don't put Rick Steiner in the main event. Period. The idea is so unbelievably stupid, I once again cannot find the words. This guy, this guy who can't even RUN into the ropes is headlining your premier show. Ricky frikin Steamboat couldn't make this barking doofus look talented. Yet there he was, at a quarter to nine. I have no other option but to honor this man in my own little way.

This weeks "Rick Steiner Moment of My life"

I work in the mail department of a very large corporation. This week, It was assumed that I had networking and software experience, and I was asked to completely overhaul our network and install five new software programs. I knew I couldn't do this job, but I just didn't care, my uncle (the boss) had faith in my ability. So I just started dickin around with all the computers, not really caring about what I was doing. Sure it will cost my company a lot of money to fix my errors, but boy did I have fun pluggin in all them pokey things into the little holey things and hittin the delete button!

That was this weeks "Rick Steiner Momnet of My Life"

This all becomes too unbearable when faced with the fact that Sean O'Haire was not on TV at all this week. Well, maybe Thunder, but I don't think anyone watches that anymore. But is it that hard of a decision? O'Haire or R Stiener. This is NOT a coin flipping pickle here. Sweet Jebus.

WCW did provide me with some good moments though, don't be fooled my pure black hatred. I think I'm the only one who is enjoying the CW Tag Team Tourney. (I write CW because I think the word Cruiserweight is a big waste of my typing) (I mean really, could they put MORE letters in the word Cruiserweight??) It's obvious that WCW's strength lies in the CW (hehe-didn't get me that time) division, so why not have a separate tag belt? The one tourney match on Nitro was great, and rivaled anything WWF has put on TV in years, save the TLC. And as an added bonus, I got to see Elix Skippers finisher! That is hands down my new favorite finisher, man does it look painful. If you can get past his rancid entrance music, he is a great young talent that throws his body any which way to get a pop. But we get that everytime we watch WCW now, which is awesome. There are lots of people who wish the WWF would put more focus on the high flyers. But they will not turn the channel because WCW is not the WWF. And because of that, WCW sucks. Oh fish nibblets, just watch the show and figure it out for your damm self. See, my point here is there is good and bad on both of the big two. It's a matter of finding what you like and watching it that really matters. And from my foaming at the mouth comments from above, I still need to work on that, but we can make it happen baby! I think if I only watched the first hour of both, I would come out on top, every week. No, that wont work because HHH usually wrestles in the second hour. Ok, I'll work on my situation, YOU WORK ON YOURS.

Over on the EZBoard, things have been getting a little crazy. There's this New World Order of icons that's sweeping the nation. (By nation of course I mean the EZ Board. Duh) Lot's have signed up, and conversation has gotten pretty good. Even I figured out how to have a pic under my name, which is no small feat. (See Rick Steiner Moment of My Life) I'm convinced GoGo is some kind of Anti-Christ with all of the factioning that is going on, and topics are picking up, so check it out. And, please pay no attention to the "No Relation to 90210" tag. I make myself very clear, I have a HUGE relation to 90210!

Back to Wrestling, I didn't get to see Smackdown because my local UPN affiliate choose to air High School Women's basketball instead. Whatever, I'm not even going to make a joke, I just wanted to see Smackdown, and I was deprived. Things could be worse I guess, I mean, what if I didn't have opposable thumbs! That would suck, how would I open things?

I heard this week that Vince McMahon is blaming all of the XFL's problems on the announcers. Right. I can see it now, (I have to envision, because I WILL NOT be watching) Saturday night comes, and Vince's comments make it into Jesse Ventura's ears. This starts a big feud between Vince and Jesse right? Jesse calls Vince a moron, Vince tells Jesse that he should just quit since he's no good anyways. OK, did anyone care when Jesse was * feuding* with that one coach? They showed it on every frikin commercial trying to get people to watch hoping that a feud would spice things up. No one cared. No one will care about this either. Everyone is going to know that its planned, which leads me to a point I made a while back: If you want people to believe its real football, and has nothing to do with "Fake" wrestling, the don't mix the two. Don't breathe the two words in the same sentence. Don't have JR beg people to call and write there local TV stations and newspapers, and don't use 'wrestling' angles in a non wrestling business venture. People still think it's fake, and why wouldn't they? You're staging conflict. The commissioner of the NFL doesn't tell John Madden to pick fights with Barry Switzer. The very thought of it sounds moronic. Dammit, I put John Madden in my column! Dammit!! Tough Actin Tanactin!! Boom!!! ! 13 Legged Turkey!! Kill me now!

Last week I asked you what it would take for you to stop watching wrestling. I got two letters, one from someone I included in last weeks column, so I will only post one this week. This comes from Jacen Seifer-He writes:

Agreed, Hogan is the proverbial smell that haunts my kitchen. But even when he was the man on every Nitro, at least the story lines were good. I never enjoyed seeing him come out, but I still watched. And I'm sure you did too. There is a paradigm that surrounds Hogan. Wrestling is the only thing he's ever known, so for him not to want to give it up makes sense, yet people hate him for it, including me sometimes. I have been against anything Hogan has done for a good while now, but it's really just sad when you think about it. On a much smaller scale, there's a lot of under qualified people working out there in the world who could be replaced at any moment by a younger, smarter person. We keep the older, experienced people around for a reason. Hogan knows he'll never get the sendoff he deserves, because of the way he left the WWF. So he wants to stay in the lights as long as he can, so people don't forget him. The problem is, by staying in the lights, he's making people loathe him instead. The big boot finisher may have cut it in the 80's, but put it next to a shooting star press, and you look like a dink. I just think it's a sad situation, because you know when Biscoff gets the helms, the Hendrix will once again, be heard. Thankx for writing.

Enough.

Instead of thinking of a clever way to tell you all that I want feedback, this week I will try something new. Don't send me letters! I won't read them! A catchy subject line may warrant intrigue, but I will not give in to my weaknesses!

Enjoy your week

Until next time, remember-Having a bottle of lotion next to your computer for your dry hands might make sense to you, but no one will believe that's actually what its for.

I love you America

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